The Biblical Side of Grandparenting

Grandparents Leaving a Legacy of Faith Discussion Guide Session One Presented By: Larry Fowler Executive Director of Global Networking At Awana The Biblical Side of Grandparenting (Presentation segment 7:08 minutes/discussion time 10 minutes) It s Fourth Quarter! What are simple opportunities you have right now to impact your grandchildren? Where in the Bible is Grandparenting? (Presentation segment 15 minutes) Generation-to-generation pattern: But we your people, the sheep of your pasture, will give thanks to you forever; from generation to generation we will recount your praise. Psalm 79:13 Passing on the Faith One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts. Psalm 145:4 Perpetuating the Faith Faith Legacy Series: Grandparents Leaving a Legacy of Faith (Session 1) 1

Tell your children of it, and let your children tell their children, and their children to another generation. Joel 1:3 A Multi-generational Vision: Teaching Two Generations Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children s children Deuteronomy 4:9 Thinking Four Generations For the Lord builds up Zion; he appears in his glory; he regards the prayer of the destitute and does not despise their prayer. Let this be recorded for a generation to come, so that a people yet to be created may praise the Lord Psalm 102:16-18 He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children Psalm 78:5-6 (Discussion time 10 minutes) What surprised you about what the Bible says about future generations? How might you run alongside the parents of your grandchildren to better influence them and future generations? The Private Pains of Grandparenting (Presentation segment 17:04 minutes) What Facts Reveal Faith Legacy Series: Grandparents Leaving a Legacy of Faith (Session 1) 2

o Our adult children: 2/3 of us have an adult child who has abandoned their faith. o Our grandchildren: 70% are walking away from church upon leaving their homes. Grandchild #1: #6: #2: #7: #3: #8: #4: #9: #5: #10: The Spiritual Triangle (Timothy s Influencers) Grandparent: Lois Parent: Eunice Spiritual Mentor: Paul (Discussion time 10 minutes) Share with your group where your children are spiritually. (Presentation segment 4:02 minutes) The Bible gives us clear examples of what the role of a grandparent can and should be. Faith Legacy Series: Grandparents Leaving a Legacy of Faith (Session 1) 3

Consider where your children and grandchildren are in their walk with the Lord. God never gives up. He is drawing them (your children and grandchildren) to Him. Assignment: Between now and next week would you consider having some conversations? Talk to your adult children about passing on faith, or share what you learned from this session. Closing Prayer & Blessing Faith Legacy Series: Grandparents Leaving a Legacy of Faith (Session 1) 4

Grandparents Leaving a Legacy of Faith Discussion Guide Session Two Presented By: Larry Fowler Executive Director of Global Networking At Awana Grandparenting Under Construction (Presentation segment 4:37 minutes/discussion time 10 minutes) What is something about grandparenting that you didn t expect? When the Kids Won t Cooperate (Presentation segment 16:09 minutes) The #1 barrier to influencing our grandchildren is when our relationship with our adult children, their parents, is not harmonious. Two things you already know: 1. 2. Faith Legacy Series: Grandparents Leaving a Legacy of Faith (Session 2) 1

The Control/Influence Principle: Parenting is the process of letting go of control. Therefore, as a grandparent, you have no control. 1. The of our influence is directly proportional to the of our relationships. a. What is causing the breakdown of the relationship on your side? b. What can you do to heal the relationship? 2. Focus on constructive, not destructive. (Discussion time 10 minutes) How much do you tend to try and control? From what you have just learned, how could you have more influence in your adult child s life? When the Kids Are Just Wrong (Presentation segment 9:41 minutes) Sometimes, our adult children are beyond just not cooperating, they are defiant against spiritual things, living a sinful life, or worse. What do we do in that instance? How about do what Jesus did? 1. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14 Faith Legacy Series: Grandparents Leaving a Legacy of Faith (Session 2) 2

2. We may be the only Jesus our grandchildren ever see; so like Him, we want to be of grace and of truth. 3. The Woman Caught in Adultery (John 8) 4. Truth builds up a wall; grace brings down the wall. 5. Sometimes the only way our kids will hear the truth is if we lead with grace. (Discussion time 10 minutes) Talk about how this principle of leading with grace applies in your relationships as a grandparent. (Presentation segment 5:22 minutes) Get beyond spoiling and be intentional! Get beyond failure if you ve failed in the past, leave it behind you. Get beyond hurt if your adult child has deeply hurt you, leave it in the past. Get beyond retirement get back in the game with a plan to influence your grandchildren and the generations beyond them! Assignment: Be a Faith Legacy Grandparent! Closing Prayer & Blessing Faith Legacy Series: Grandparents Leaving a Legacy of Faith (Session 2) 3

Grandparents Leaving a Legacy of Faith Discussion Guide Session Three Presented By: Tina Houser! Speaker, Author and Executive Editor of KidzMatter Magazine Passing the Story of Faith (video segment 6:22 minutes/discussion time 10 minutes) How many times have you thought, Kids say the darnedest things! Tell the people in your group a funny story of something that happened with one of your grandkids. Make sure you share their name. And share your name too! Why Stories Matter so Much! (video segment 10:26 minutes) Stories don t get told about everyday occurrences. They don t get told about the chores that you do. Stories get told about something special that happens; something that stands out. Your story tells about how God is faithful in YOUR life! Stories tell about your heritage and who you are. Stories draw out emotions. Stories are relatable. Stories help you answer questions. Children love stories! Faith Legacy Series: Grandparents Leaving a Legacy of Faith (Session 3) 1

(discussion time 10 minutes) Imagine yourself at the age of your grandchild. Tell your group members a story that happened to you at about that age. Discovering Your Spiritual Story (video segment 13:16 minutes) It s not a one-time thing. This is something you will keep pouring into your grandchildren. This is chapters of a book. It should take more than one sit down session. You need to be intentional. This is a heart issue, a lifestyle, a journey! The Post-It Note Idea: Ask yourself questions like: When was a time that God really rocked my world? (discussion time 10 minutes) You have post-it notes at your table. Take a minute or two and write down one word that reminds you of a time when you felt helpless. When did you cry out to God, Help? Now share with your group about your post-it. How did that change you? Do you feel comfortable talking about your experience? How to Tell Your Story (video segment 18:52 minutes) I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. Faith Legacy Series: Grandparents Leaving a Legacy of Faith (Session 3) 2

Find the right time to tell your story. Take your time, be WITH them. Be honest, authentic and concise. Tell your story with a bridge: Objects Written Notes Pictures The Bible Songs Snacks 3 John 1:4 (discussion time 10 minutes) Share with your group about an object that could be your bridge as you tell your story. (video segment 3:29 minutes) You have a story. Your story is important! The most important stories are your spiritual stories. Assignment: Never stop sharing your story with your grandkids! Closing Prayer: (Form small groups again and encourage each person to pray for their grandchildren.) Faith Legacy Series: Grandparents Leaving a Legacy of Faith (Session 3) 3

Grandparents Leaving a Legacy of Faith Discussion Guide Session Four Presented By: Pastor Roger Theimer Director of Kids Kount Publishing & Executive Pastor of King of Kings Church Tell Your Story with a Video (video segment 3:02 minutes) (discussion time 10 minutes) Tell a story you ve heard about your grandparent s childhood? What Goes into Making a Video? (video segment 7:45 minutes) things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done. Psalm 78:3-4 Three Main Things: Agreement - You must agree to make the video! o It s important! o Your grandkids are worth it! o We ll make it easy for you. Studio o Filming Device o Room Set Aside Faith Legacy Series: Grandparents Leaving a Legacy of Faith (Session 4) 1

Script o Scheduled Interviewer (discussion time 10 minutes) Think back to when you were in 3 rd grade about 8 years old. What was one of your favorite ways to play? Get that image in your mind. Share some of those details with your group. How Do You Know What to Say? (video segment 1:57 minutes) Your story is woven together based on the questions you answer. Please see the handout: Interview Questions for Leaving a Legacy of Faith. (discussion time 10minutes) Practice the interview process at your table. Each person chooses two questions they would like to answer. Have someone acts as an interviewer and asks those questions. Samples of Leaving a Legacy of Faith to Future Generations (video segment 11:46 minutes) Faith Legacy Series: Grandparents Leaving a Legacy of Faith (Session 4) 2

An interview can be as easy as two friends interviewing one another while they record it. It could be a couple interviewing another couple or one another. Take a look at our sample interview and be thinking about how you would like your video to take place. (discussion time 10 minutes) Practice the interview process again. This time challenge yourself by choosing a faith question. (video segment 2:10 minutes) Be Intentional! Pick a time. Pick an interviewer. Pick your questions. Store your video for generations to come! Assignment: Make your video and leave your Faith Legacy! Closing Prayer: (Form small groups again and encourage each person to pray.) Faith Legacy Series: Grandparents Leaving a Legacy of Faith (Session 4) 3

Evaluation Form Leaving a Legacy of Faith Month/Year: Please rate each of the following by putting a number in the box. 1 = Poor, 2 = OK, 3 = Good, 4 = Very good, 5 = Excellent 1. Overall, how would you rate your experience? 2. How would you rate our church s implementation and organization in delivering this experience? 3. How would you rate the presenter? a. Larry Fowler b. Tina Houser c. Roger Theimer 4. How would you rate the discussions? 5. How would rate how the topics related to you? How has this experience impacted your life or thinking? What suggestions would you give for next time? Name (optional): Faith Legacy Series: Leaving a Legacy of Faith Evaluation

Appendix 1: Grandparent Step Session Four Leaving a Legacy of Faith Interview Questions Introduction Please give us your full name and why you are making this video. Early Memories 1. Where and when were you born? Where did you live growing up? 2. Describe the house you grew up in. Kitchen? Your bedroom? 3. Tell us about your favorite part of the house you grew up in. Why? 4. Tell us about one characteristic of your father by telling a story about him. (same question for mother) 5. What is your favorite memory with your grandparents? 6. Tell us about one of your favorite memories with your sibling. 7. How was your grade school different from schools today? 8. Tell us about a vivid memory you have from an event that happened while you were in grade school. Jr. High? High School? (choose one) 9. Tell us about your favorite thing to do on Saturday morning. Life Events 1. Tell us about your best friend growing up and what you liked to do together. 2. What is something that is really funny that happened to you? 3. Tell about the first time you met grandma/grandpa. What made you decide to marry him/her? 4. Tell us about what it was like raising your son who is now daddy to your grandchild. 5. What is a great adventure you took? 6. What is one hope or dream you have for your family? 7. What is one thing that makes you feel peaceful? Faith Legacy Series Leaving a Legacy of Faith Interview Questions

Appendix 1: Grandparent Step Session Four 8. What do you think God has been trying to tell you lately? 9. What is one place you d like to visit that you haven t been to yet? Why? 10. What is something you ve always wanted to do, but haven t done yet? 11. What is something that used to scare you as a child? What do you think the secret to happiness is? 12. What world events are most memorable from your childhood? 13. What do you feel is your greatest achievement? 14. What are some of the goals that were important to you that you accomplished? 15. What life advice would you give to your grandchildren? 16. What do you want your grandchildren to remember about you? Life Lessons 1. Who were your heroes and role models growing up? 2. Tell us what you feel is your greatest achievement. 3. What characteristic of Christ would you most like to have? Why? 4. If you could take a time machine anywhere, where would you go? Why? 5. The Bible says to honor your parents. a. Say something positive about your mom. b. Say something positive about your dad. 6. Tell me about your favorite place to meet with God and talk with Him. 7. What was something that used to scare you when you were a child? 8. Tell us about three things you are really thankful for right now. 9. Tell us about one of the hardest times you went through and what you learned. 10. When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? 11. Tell me about your favorite family traditions. 12. What did you like about Saturday mornings as a kid? Faith Questions 1. Tell us about what church was like for you when you grew up? Faith Legacy Series Leaving a Legacy of Faith Interview Questions

Appendix 1: Grandparent Step Session Four 2. Tell us about a time when God first really felt close to you? 3. What have you learned about God after being with Him all these years? 4. Tell us about when you first received Christ as your Savior? 5. What is your favorite Bible verse or story and why? 6. Tell us about who influenced your faith the most and why? 7. If you could ask God one question, what would it be? 8. Tell us one of the most remarkable ways you ve see God answer prayer. 9. Tell us about one of your most favorite places to meet with God and talk with Him. 10. What was one of the hardest things you ve ever had to forgive? How did you feel during that time? 11. Tell us about a special time in church like a baptism or confirmation or profession of faith? Blessing I would like to bless my grandchild (grandchildren) and generations after them with this blessing: (speak your blessing now). Faith Legacy Series Leaving a Legacy of Faith Interview Questions

Appendix: 2: Grandparent Step Session Four Create a Blessing for Your Child What Is a Blessing? A blessing is the good that God gives us, both material and spiritual. A spoken blessing over someone is a prayer for God to bless that person in a specific way. A blessing from a parent to a child communicates approval and value. The child receives a sense of his or her positive future held in the hands of God and supported by his or her parents. Formal blessings, such as this, are most often given with a touch, a spoken word and direct eye contact. The same phrase used in one blessing can be repeated throughout a child s life so that blessing phrase is remembered for a lifetime. Other blessings can be given for specific discipleship skills or character traits. These blessing phrases can change often. Option One: Bless your child with a phrase to be used throughout your child s life. What brief blessing would you pray over your child that affirms him/her and his/her uniqueness? Here are some examples: Brooke, I pray that God fills you with his joy and that joy always overflows to others. Tyler, may God bless you with wisdom to follow him in all your ways. Jordan, I bless you as a daughter of the King to have a strong heart, kind touch and a generous hand. Ryan, may God bless you to be faithful to the Lord and to be used by him for his high purposes. Another way to compose a blessing for your child is to research the meaning of your child s name. Often a heartfelt blessing can be created from the meaning. Once you have discovered what your child s name means, use a concordance to look up related Bible verses. If you do not have a concordance, search for Bible concordance on the web and search for key words that will help you develop your blessing. Example: Matthew Allan Matthew: means gift of God Allan: fair, handsome The two names together might read a handsome gift of God. Handsome could also be attractive. How can attractiveness be a blessing? It draws people. What is a gift? It is Faith Legacy Series: Create a Blessing for Your Child 1 Copyright 2005 Kids Kount Publishing, Omaha, NE 68137, www.kidskountpublishing.com Permission to photocopy Faith Legacy Series materials granted to purchaser only for local church use.

Appendix: 2: Grandparent Step Session Four something given without any requirements. With those beginnings, research verses from the Bible. These two were found in the New International Version (NIV) for the words draw near to the Lord. 1. Ezekiel 40:46 and the room facing north is for the priests who have charge of the altar. These are the sons of Zadok, who are the only Levites who may draw near to the LORD to minister before him." Ezekiel 40:45-47 (in Context) Ezekiel 40 (Whole Chapter) 2. Ezekiel 45:4 It will be the sacred portion of the land for the priests, who minister in the sanctuary and who draw near to minister before the LORD. It will be a place for their houses as well as a holy place for the sanctuary. Ezekiel 45:3-5 (in Context) Ezekiel 45 (Whole Chapter) For gift, 159 entries were found. That will take some reading and discernment about gifts. In any case, a gift is a benefit. So with the information gleaned, here is a possible blessing: Dear Matthew, I bless you to be a gift of God to others and attract them to Jesus. Or a more extensive blessing might be: Dear Matthew, you are a gift from God. I bless you to draw people to the Lord to receive his free gift of Jesus Christ. May your words and your life be attractive, so that people will ask about the faith that is within you. I bless you to boldly speak of God s love to any who will listen. Option Two: Bless your child with a variety of blessings throughout his/her life that speak of Christ-like characteristics or discipleship skills. Look at scripture verses for ideas. To give purpose, direction, and instruction, you may want to use a passage in part or entirety. Look for verses that start with command words, i.e., follow, obey, share, grow, learn, pray, study, love, etc. To use scripture verses when speaking a blessing, you may find it more understandable to start the verse with the words May the Lord or Let your or I bless you to Here is an example of incorporating two verses in a blessing: Ephesians 6:11, Put on all the armor that God supplies. In this way you can take a stand against the devil s strategies. Psalm 28:7, The LORD is my strength and my shield. Scott, let the armor of God equip you to stand against the devil s strategies. May the Lord be your strength and your shield your whole life long. Faith Legacy Series: Create a Blessing for Your Child 2

Appendix: 2: Grandparent Step Session Four Suggested Bible Verses for Blessing Your Child (From God s Word to the Nations) Spiritual strength: Exodus 15:2, The LORD is my strength and my song. He is my Savior. This is my God, and I will praise him, my father s God, and I will honor him. Obedience and receiving God s promises: Genesis 22:18, Through your descendant all the nations of the earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me. Deuteronomy 28:1, Carefully obey the LORD your God, and faithfully follow all his commands that I m giving you today. If you do, the LORD your God will place you high Hiding the word in your heart: Joshua 1:8, Never stop reciting these teachings. You must think about them night and day so that you will faithfully do everything written in them God is with you always: Joshua 1:9, Be strong and courageous! Don t tremble or be terrified, because the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Be like a strong tree: Psalm 1:3, He is like a tree planted beside streams a tree that produces fruit in season and whose leaves do not wither. He succeeds in everything he does. John 15:5,8 I am the vine. You are the branches. Those who live in me while I live in them will produce a lot of fruit....and therefore show that you are my disciples. Wisdom and insight: Proverbs 2:2,5,6a, My son [daughter], if you take my words to heart and treasure my commands within you, Then you will understand the fear of the Lord and you will find the knowledge of God. The LORD gives wisdom... The Beatitudes: Matthew 5:3-12 (Any of these verses have character traits for which you might like to bless your child.) How to live: Ephesians 5:15-21 (There are many thoughts here on how to live. Pick out those phrases that speak clearly to you and your child.) Faith Legacy Series: Create a Blessing for Your Child 3

Appendix: 2: Grandparent Step Session Four Philippians 4:2-8 (These verses include suggestions on love, attitude, spreading the Good News, being joyful, considerate, not worrying.) Inward peace: Philippians 4:7, Then God s peace, which goes beyond anything we can imagine, will guard your thoughts and emotions through Christ Jesus. John 14:27, I m leaving you peace. I m giving you my peace... Colossians 3:15-17 let Christ s peace control you. (The remaining verses contain strong life principles, as well. Investigate these verses for more thoughts.) Although young, be strong: 1 Timothy 4:12, Don t let anyone look down on you for being young. Instead, make your speech, behavior, love, faith, and purity an example for other believers. Endure through testing: James 1:12, Blessed are those who endure when they are tested. Bless with words describing the preteen Jesus: Luke 2:52, Jesus grew in wisdom and maturity. He gained favor from God and people. More Information Gary Smalley and John Trent wrote a helpful book, The Blessing. This book notes that five basic parts of a family blessing are: Meaningful touch A spoken message Attaching high value to the person being blessed Picturing a special future for the one being blessed An active commitment to fulfill the blessing Faith Legacy Series: Create a Blessing for Your Child 4