Pastor's Notes Hello We're focusing on how we fail in life and the importance of God's mercy in the light of our failures. So we need to understand that all human beings have failures. We like to think, I'm so horrible. And just look how good everyone else is. Like the great leaders from history. Look how wonderful the Apostle Peter was. He was the rock that Jesus built the church on. He could never be as bad as I am. Oh really! God definitely used him to build the church but let's be honest, Peter also failed miserably just like you and I have. Last week we looked at how Peter failed; what he did wrong. First, he overestimated his strength; "I will never deny you!" Second, he feared the disapproval of others; "I don't even know what you're talking about!" Third, he spoke without thinking; "he lost his temper and started cursing and swearing." I don't know about you but that sounds pretty human to me. This week we're going to look at what Peter did right; at how you recover from failure. What does God want you to do when you've had a failure in your life? After Peter failed miserably, he actually did three things right. And these are the same steps you can take to recover from a financial failure, a marriage failure, a relational failure, a career failure or any other failure in our lives. You do these three things. 1. Grieve! You grieve. You grieve the failure. You don't minimize the failure. You don't pretend it didn't happen. You don't justify the failure. You don't rationalize the failure. You don't make excuses for the failure. You grieve it. You feel the pain. You don't brush it off. You don't downplay it. You feel the pain and you don't rush to feel better. Listen, here is a proven principle of life: To get past it you've got to go through it. That's true in so many areas but it's particularly true with failure. To get past your failure, that failure in your life, you've got to go through it. You can't go around your failure, you can't go over your failure, you can't go under your failure, and you can't ignore your failure. You need to grieve the failure. You need to feel the pain. We don't like feeling bad but grief is a good thing. Grief is the way we get through the failure. And grief is the way we learn the lessons. So often when we fail we want to just forget it, push it aside, stuff our emotions and immediately go to the next thing. When you stuff your emotions, when you swallow your emotions, your stomach keeps score. It's kind of like what if
you took a can of coke and you shook it up for a long time and then you put it in the freezer. What's going to happen to it? It's going to explode eventually. It's going to come out sideways. This happens in your life when you don't deal with your emotions properly. This is why sometimes six months after a failure a marriage falls apart. Or six months after somebody gets laid off work there's another problem, a physical health problem, things like this. Because you've shaken up the can and you've got all these emotions and feelings inside of shame and regret and fear and insecurity and all the things that come with failure and you're not dealing with them. So you shake it up and you just put it in the freezer and forget about it and it's going to explode and it's going to come out in ways like an affair or in wrong behavior, in a impulsivity or in an addiction or in all kinds of other things. I've seen this hundreds of times in people's lives. You don't minimize it, you don't rush to feel better. To get past the failure you've got to go through the failure and you've got to grieve. Look at Matthew 26:75 "When Peter heard the rooster crow, he remembered that Jesus had said, 'Before the rooster crows, you'll deny me three times.' Then Peter went outside and wept bitterly." That's grieving. Imagine how disappointed Peter must have felt in himself. I just lived with the Son of God for three and half years. I watched him do miracles. I watched him heal people. I watched him raise the dead. I watched him teach like no one has ever taught. I watched him offer mercy and forgiveness to me dozens and dozens and dozens of times. I watched him never do anything wrong. Yet the first time I'm put to test about my commitment, my faithfulness, my trust in Jesus I deny him three times in a row because I'm worried about what three strangers think? Are you worried about what strangers think about your faith in God? That's fear. When you're embarrassed to let people know that you're a believer? Peter's disappointed. But he owns up to his failure. He doesn't go, there's a good reason I did this. They might have killed me. He just goes out and he grieves. He's humbled by this and he's regretful of it. Grief, as I said is a good thing. It is the key to healing. A lot of people want to take short cuts when they have a failure. They want to bypass the whole thing. Put it out of sight and mind and go on. Yeah I had a failed business here. I'm going to go out and start another one right now, the next day. Yeah, I just had a marriage fail but I'm going to turn around and find somebody immediately. I've got to find somebody else immediately. And they rebound into another relationship. And they never learn the lesson. The problem is if you don't go through the grief you don't learn what God wants you to learn from that failure and then you take the
same old you into the new marriage, into the new job, into the new goal, into the new dream and nothing's changed because you didn't learn anything because you weren't willing to feel bad for just a little bit. And you're afraid of negative feelings. You're afraid to feel bad. It's okay to feel bad. Grief is the way we get through transitions and losses and failures in life. The greater the failure in your life the more time it's going to take. The greater the loss in your life the more time it's going to take. You have to let God work in your heart. And you have to let time work in your heart. You cannot force healing. You cannot rush feelings. You cannot will by sheer will power - I'm going to be different now. You can't do it. Recovery is an act of God's mercy. Healing is an act of mercy. And it comes slowly with time. And recovery and growth come in stages. All God wants you to do is just be honest; I blew it. To be humble. David wrote this prayer after he committed adultery. The whole prayer is his prayer of confession. In Psalm 51:17 he says "The sacrifice God wants is a broken and contrite spirit, God will not reject a humble and repentant heart." He's saying God is looking for humility, contriteness; you're right God I blew it. When you come to God and say God I'm broken hearted over this. I had all my hopes pinned on this but it didn't work. It failed. The business failed. The dream failed. The relationship failed. God, it failed. And I'm broken hearted over it. And I'm a little bit more humble than I was. I don't think I'm the captain of my soul any more. I don't think I'm the manager of the universe. I don't think I've got it all figured out. I'm coming with a humble spirit and a contrite heart and a repentant attitude. God goes that's the person who's going to recover. The Bible says that when Peter heard the rooster crow he wept bitterly. He ate crow. He went out and said I've really messed up. And he felt the pain. I imagine for the rest of Peter's life when he heard a rooster crow he was reminded of his biggest failure in life? Every time he heard a rooster crow it was a trigger. By the way, you have triggers in your life. There are certain things that when you see them, you hear them, or smell them, or think of them, or whatever; it triggers the memory of your failures. You can't stop triggers. Sorry. You can't do that. I can't even tell you how you stop those triggers. But you can stop what they do to you. You do have a choice. Your choice is, will I choose to focus on the mistake, the failure, the pain, or am I going to choose to focus on God's forgiveness, God's mercy and God's grace. That's the choice. And that's what you can do. And here's what's going to happen. When you start changing your focus Satan's going to stop hassling you about this. Satan knows your triggers. And he wants to condemn you. Here's what happens. Before you
fail in some area, or before you commit a sin, Satan always minimizes the sin. He minimizes it. He goes, this is no big deal. Go ahead and do it. Everybody does this. Times have changed. Things are different. We're in a different culture. It doesn't matter what God says. This is okay. It's no big deal. He minimizes the sin. He's baiting you into the trap and the moment you commit that sin Satan switches his strategy to the exact opposite and he starts to maximize it. He starts going, are you kidding me? That's the biggest sin I've ever heard of. God will never use you. You're never going to be blessed. You're never going to have an answered prayer. Who do you think you are? You may as well just chuck it in and give up. You're going to sit on the bench the rest of your life. Forget it. It's over. This is so big God could not possibly ever use you. See how he switched? He starts by saying it's no big deal before you do it. Then afterwards he goes this is the biggest deal in your life because he doesn't want you focused on the mercy of God. He wants you focused on your pain. When you don't understand who you are, you still have that soul pain. You don't have your identity, you give in to these kinds of fears over and over. And Satan and other people can just whip you around and manipulate you with all kinds of memory triggers. You need to say every time that trigger brings the thought, that memory, that painful mistake I'm just going to go, yep it was wrong. Thank God for his grace. Thank God for his mercy. Thank God for his love. Thank God for his forgiveness. Thank you God. I am a trophy of grace. Here's the interesting thing. If Satan figures out that every time he used that trigger you're going to praise God he's going to stop bugging you about it. Because he certainly doesn't want you doing that. All of a sudden it's not working anymore. If he can pull a trigger and you can get into depression he's going to keep pulling it. But if he can pull a trigger and it causes you to praise God for his mercy and grace? That's the last thing Satan wants. So he will stop. Understanding the deeper pain that causes you to give in and overestimate your strength, and live for the approval of others, and speak when you shouldn't that understanding helps drive you to the mercy and grace of God. When you know how you are and whose you are, you know God's mercy and God's grace is going to be there. I'm a child of God so even though I really messed up God's still going to love me. He's not going to change. That's the miracle of mercy. 2. Group Support The very first thing Jesus did when he started his ministry was he formed a small group. And he chose 12 people to be part of that small group. This is why I am always encouraging you to be a part of a group.
Because Jesus did it. And for 300 years all Christianity was done in small groups. They didn't have big gatherings like this. All Christianity for 300 years was done in small groups. So get group support. Here is an example of Peter getting support from his small group after his biggest failure. You know that Mary Magdalene and the other Mary had gone up to the tomb of Jesus and the angel said He's not here. He's gone. Go tell the disciples. So Mark 16:10 says, "Mary Magdalene went and found the disciples together, grieving and weeping." When you go through a major failure in your life you must resist the urge to isolate yourself. When you go through a major failure in life you must resist the urge to insulate yourself. When you get laid off from work you don't want anybody to know about it. When you have a bankruptcy you don't want anybody to know about it. When you have a failure in your life you want to keep it secret. That's the worst thing you could do. You don't need to tell everybody but you do need to tell a few people who love you, who are going to pray for you and who will support you. When you share a problem in your life it's cut in half. The burden is cut in half. When you share a joy in your small group it's doubled. You were never meant to go through life on your own. You were never meant to go through life by yourself. Where does Peter go instantly after he's had his biggest failure? He doesn't go and hide in a cave. He goes to his small group. The disciples were together grieving and weeping. Peter needed godly support more than ever. That was in the morning and then John 20:19-20 says, "That evening the disciples were together, [again] with the doors locked [they're in a house in a small group. With the doors locked...] for fear of the Jewish leaders. [They killed Jesus. Maybe they're going to kill us too. Maybe they're going to crucify us. But this is Easter so Jesus has risen...] Suddenly, Jesus appeared in the middle of the group, and said 'Peace be with you!'...the disciples were filled with joy when they saw the Lord!" I guess so! I've been in a small group for over 20 years. I've never had Jesus suddenly show up in the middle of the group. Not physically. But I will tell you this: I've seen Jesus show up in my small group hundreds of times through the words and the emotions and the prayers of other people. I have sat in group after group after group when someone starts talking and I knew God was talking to me right then. God's presence shows up in life in the middle of a small group. I've seen it happen over and over. If you've been in a small group for any length of time you know that God's presence, Jesus, often shows up in a small group. In fact he promised in Matthew
18:20 "Where two or three are gathered in my name I will be there in the midst of them." Not physically but his presence is there. His Spirit is there. His love is there. His mercy is there. And he shows up in the middle of the group and if you're never in a group that's never going to happen for you. You've got to get in that situation. Where two or three are gathered in my name he says I'm there with you. There's a reason this is important when you have a failure. In a crisis you don't think straight. And the bigger the failure, the bigger the loss in your life, the more you don't think straight. And you need other people around you... Have you thought about this? Have you considered this? They just kind of calm you down and they straighten you out. They're there to support you and they're there to be with you. A third example of Peter and his small group. John 20:26 "A week later the disciples were together again meeting in a home."when Jesus rose from the dead he stayed around for another 40 days. He didn't just go right back to Heaven. It says a week later the disciples were together again meeting in a home. In fact, for the next 50 days after Peter's big failure and after the cross and the resurrection about all the disciples did was go to the small group. They pretty much just hung out together, kind of processing what in the world did we just go through; the death and the burial and the resurrection of Jesus. They're going through this trauma together. Fortunately, Peter had a small group he'd been in for three and a half years so when he had his biggest failure he had a place to go and say, Man, did I screw up! Yes, but we did too. So let's all encourage each other. So he grieved. He had a small group to support him. And third, he cast himself on God's mercy. 3. Cast Yourself on God's Mercy We know this and we know Peter did this because Peter wrote about it in 1 Peter 1:3 "Because of his great mercy [he knew that God had shown him mercy.] God has given us a new life [I'm not the same old Peter. I'm a new Peter.] God has given us a new life by raising Jesus Christ from death. This fills us with a living hope."peter has had a massive failure in his life. But he's not going around in despair. He's not going around in condemnation. He's not going around in guilt. He's not walking around in shame. He's not walking around in regret. He's not timid and going God could never us me. No. He says I'm walking around in hope. My life is filled with hope. In spite of my failure my life is filled with hope. Why? Because of the mercy of God. And later in the same book he says this and he says it from personal experience. 1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." Why did Peter tell people to do that? Because
that's what he did when he failed. He just cast all his anxiety, he cast himself on the mercy of God. Just let it go. Just go, God I'm dropping it. I'm dropping my fear. I'm dropping my insecurity. I'm dropping my guilt. I'm dropping my shame because you are a loving and merciful God and I'm just going to drop it all on you. I'm going to cast myself on your mercy. What does it mean to cast yourself on the mercy of God? It means to pray something like this. You say, God there is no way I deserve your forgiveness. I really blew it. There's no way I deserve your mercy. I have thumbed my nose to you. I've ignored you so much of my life. I've made dumb mistakes. God there is no way I deserve your grace, your mercy, your kindness, and your love. But God you are a kind God. You are a loving God. You are a merciful and forgiving God. In fact, you've said that you show mercy. So I'm throwing myself on your mercy. I need a fresh start. I don't deserve it. I can't earn it. But you are merciful God so I'm just going to ask you to do what you love to do and show me mercy. That's casting yourself on the mercy of God. That's why it's the antidote to everything that Satan says to you. So much of the time Satan is whispering in your ear "You're not good enough. Who do you think you are? You think God could ever use you? Why do you think God would answer your prayers after all the stuff you've done? You're not good enough." He's always maximizing things; no way will God forgive you. He does not want you focused on his mercy. But there's an antidote to get rid of all that in your mind. Satan's constantly giving you all those negative thoughts. What is the antidote to that? When you cast your care you lose your despair. When you cast your care you lose your despair. Because then Jesus moves into action. The moment you say God I'm throwing myself on your mercy what does Jesus do with our failures? Before Jesus was even arrested he told Peter in advance this was going to happen. Jesus actually told Peter four things in advance of his failure. Here's what he said in Luke 22:31-32 "Simon, Simon, [Peter's name was actually Simon Peter.] Satan has asked to sift you like wheat.[satan wants to turn your crank Peter. He wants to test you. He wants to turn you inside out. He doesn't think you're going to come through. I know you will but he doesn't think you will. So Satan wants to mess with you. Jesus is telling him this is going to happen. You're going to get messed with. You're going to be tempted.] But [Jesus said] I have prayed for you, [in advance. I've already prayed for you.] that your faith should not fail. So when [not if] you have repented and turned back to me again, strengthen and build up your brothers." In other words, I want you to use your pain to help other
people. I want you to use your failure to build up other people, to encourage other people, to help them. It's all your choice. And just 50 days after Peter's biggest failure God chose him, Peter, that guy, the screw up, the mess up, the guy who denied Jesus in his deepest hour of pain. He chose Peter to be the guy to preach on the day of Pentecost, the first day of the Christian Church, and 3000 people were saved and baptized. That is the mercy of God. And it wasn't like a year after the failure. It's 50 days after he screwed up. He's standing in front of everybody preaching on Pentecost at the birth of the Christian Church. That is the mercy of God. Listen, we're all human and we've all messed up. But like Peter, after the mess-ups we have to choose whether we're going to wallow in them or whether we're going to dive head first into God's mercy and grace and grieve or way through it with the help of a small group of close friends. Do you want the best life? Find God! Blessings, Scott