CHARACTER MATTERS Week Six February 10, 2019 Revealing the Gospel with Our Generosity GETTING READY Before your group meets next time, spend some time alone in God s Word reading through this week s texts. Pray that God, through His Spirit, would bring to life the truth of this text and how it applies to your life. KEY BIBLICAL TRUTH We can be kind to one another because God has first been kind to us in Christ. THEOLOGY APPLIED By being kind to one another we show and declare that we have been welcomed and changed by God and that we love what and who He loves. MEDITATE But when the goodness and lovingkindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior (Titus 3:4 6). + Use this section to prepare your heart and mind for the truths of this week. This section will help to introduce the focus of this week s lesson. 50 C h a r a c t e r M a t t e r s
Kindness is not generally the first attribute we think of when we consider the character of God. Our initial thoughts are usually of God s love, His mercy, His grace, or His holiness. But as we continue to look at how our character matters, we must remember that, as people who bear God s image, we are called to reflect that image, which includes being kind. Kindness is often thought of as just a personality trait. We may think some people are just more inclined to be kind than others. But according to the Bible, kindness is rooted in how well you understand the gospel and what Jesus saved you from. You should be kind because it is a reflection of how well you imitate Christ and understand the gospel. Kindness is important for other reasons as well. Research shows that kindness is a characteristic that is both teachable and contagious. Additionally, researchers at Dartmouth University have revealed that kindness has been linked to increased levels of oxytocin (commonly referred to as the love hormone ), serotonin, energy, happiness, lifespan, and pleasure. Kindness has also been shown to decrease pain, stress, anxiety, depression, and blood pressure. Q: Describe a time when someone showed extreme kindness to you. How did it make you feel afterwards? What happened as a result of their act of kindness? Q: Describe a time when you showed kindness to someone else. How did it make you feel? What happened as a result of your act of kindness? UNDERSTANDING THE TEXT Kindness never stands by itself. Something precedes kindness that causes it, and something follows kindness that comes about as a result of the act of kindness. Paul writes in Ephesians that kindness ought to lead you to extend forgiveness toward others. The response of kindness is to forgive, but the reason kindness should come about in the first place is that Christ forgave you. God grants us kindness, not just for the sake of being kind, but so we will respond in repentance, as Paul writes in Romans. Ultimately, kindness doesn t just make us feel better. It is the very essence of kindness that encapsulates the truth of the gospel, that God saves us. 1. KINDNESS IS A MANIFESTATION OF PATIENCE 2. KINDNESS IS A DECLARATION OF FORGIVENESS 3. KINDNESS IS EVIDENCE OF GRACE AND MERCY 51 C h a r a c t e r M a t t e r s
+ This next section will help show what God s Word says about this week s particular focus. Read through the Scripture passages and connect the text to this week s biblical truth. KINDNESS IS A MANIFESTATION OF PATIENCE ROMANS 2:4 Q: What is the context of Romans 2:4? What has Paul been addressing in the preceding three verses of Romans 2 that leads up to what he says in Romans 2:4? Q: What is the punishment and consequence of sin? How does understanding what we deserve from God put into perspective how He has been patient with us? Patience is a virtue that is truly seen in context. What causes the need for patience? What troubling situation or circumstance has unfolded that makes patience a necessity? No one is patient just for the sake of being patient. You are patient because there is a need to wait longer than expected for something or someone. You are patient because the line is much longer or the crowd is larger than expected. You are patient because you won t allow the small child to manipulate their way into getting what they want. You are never just patient for the sake of being patient. You are patient because you are responding in a positive way to a negative situation. So, let s consider how and why God is patient with us. Once again, the context is key. Context reveals the magnitude and degree of God s kindness towards us. God shows us patience despite the fact that He is angry and displeased with us because of our sin. Our sin is deserving of God s wrath. It deserves condemnation and punishment. Yet, God is patient. He is forbearing, meaning He demonstrates self-control and restraint. He does not give us what we deserve. He responds graciously and kindly in a situation where He has every right to be angry and demand justice. The gospel is God, in love, giving us what we don t deserve (grace) and not giving us what we do deserve (mercy), while taking upon Himself the punishment we ought to have (wrath and judgment). We know there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). God is patient and abundantly kind toward us by not only withholding what we do deserve, but also by giving us something we don t deserve. 52 C h a r a c t e r M a t t e r s
In this way, it s clear how patience and kindness operate together. Kindness is undeserved. It s an act of grace and love. Likewise, to show someone patience is to treat them in a manner they do not deserve in that moment. Patience is a way we can display kindness toward others, just as God in Christ did for us. Q: Discuss further how patience and kindness function together. Q: How does seeing the extent of God s kindness and patience toward you change and motivate you as you seek to practice patience and kindness toward others? KINDNESS IS A DECLARATION OF FORGIVENESS EPHESIANS 4:32 Q: In Ephesians 4:32, Paul comes to the end of a section talking about what the new life looks like. What other things has he commanded and challenged believers to do before he gives his call to forgive others and show kindness? Q: How is forgiveness an act of kindness? Ephesians 4:32 is another example of how and why we are to imitate and reflect the gospel as people created in the image of God. We show kindness because God was first kind to us. We extend forgiveness because God first forgave us. The gospel message doesn t allow us to believe and then return to living however we want. It recreates and reshapes us. Living out the gospel message says, As Christ has been to me, so I will be to others. It says, I will extend to others the very same things I have experienced in Christ. God doesn t just forgive us. He tells us to go and do likewise. Forgiveness is obviously a kind thing to do, because by definition forgiveness is not necessary. No one is 53 C h a r a c t e r M a t t e r s
required or guaranteed forgiveness for something. It is not a right. It is a gift. Thus, it is a kindness someone extends to you. One thing that makes kindness so abstract is that it can never be done alone. It is always demonstrated through something else. Forgiveness makes kindness very practical. It is a tangible way of showing kindness. You cannot forgive someone without showing kindness. Paul says to be kind to one another. How do we do that? How do we show kindness? He says we are kind by forgiving. And immediately, we realize just how difficult a challenge it can be to show kindness to someone, for forgiveness is no easy task and no easy thing to ask. It is only when we remember how much God forgave us and how kind He is to us by not holding our sins against us and by making us new creations in Christ that we can forgive and subsequently show kindness to others. Q: How does seeing the connection between kindness and forgiveness change your perspective on forgiveness? How is it easier to practice kindness? How is it harder? Q: How is forgiveness a simple way to reflect God and model the forgiveness offered to you by Christ? KINDNESS IS EVIDENCE OF GRACE AND MERCY TITUS 3:3 8 Q: Why is verse 3 so important to remember when considering the kindness shown us in verse 4? Why was God s kindness towards us so necessary? Q: Why did God decide to show kindness towards us? What did we do to earn or deserve it? 54 C h a r a c t e r M a t t e r s
Kindness saves us. God saved us when Christ appeared with His goodness and lovingkindness (Titus 3:4). When you experience kindness, you are changed. There is something that profoundly impacts the recipient of undeserved and unexpected kindness. We ve already seen that kindness is always displayed through something else. In this case, Paul is reminding us that God s kindness is brought about by His gifts to us of mercy, grace, and love. Rosaria Butterfield is a pastor s wife and author who has written books about her experience of coming to faith in Christ and about Biblical hospitality. But she was once a professor of English and Women s Studies at Syracuse University and a practicing lesbian. She was a prominent voice in feminist philosophy and a strong advocate for the LGBT community. She began meeting with a Christian pastor and his wife as she did research for a paper against evangelical Christianity. They were so hospitable and welcoming and kind to her that she kept coming back. Ultimately, she left her lesbian relationship, lost her job, came to faith in Christ, and married a pastor. And the number one thing she attributes to changing her view of Christianity is the kindness shown to her by that pastor and his wife. They modeled what it looked like to extend grace and love others by simply being kind, hospitable, and welcoming. Once again, we see that kindness doesn t operate in isolation. It exists as a tool to draw other people to Christ. People will experience God s grace and mercy through the kindness you extend to them, just as you experienced His grace and mercy through God s kindness toward you in Christ s saving sacrifice. The key is that God s kindness appeared (Titus 3:4). There was evidence of it. There was an observable demonstration of it. It was real. One of the real struggles with evangelism today is that there isn t enough kindness showing up. It s all talk. Well, God didn t just say He was going to be kind to us. He demonstrated it. Q: How are you prone to let your kindness all be in what you say without making it observable and tangible? Q: Who can you be kind to this week in hopes of displaying and making God s grace and mercy appear? 55 C h a r a c t e r M a t t e r s
+ Connect the truths from God s Word to your daily life. Process how what you ve learned this week will impact the way you live beyond today and into the future. Q: What are some other ways you can make kindness practical and tangible? We ve seen that kindness never exists on its own. How else do you (or can you) demonstrate it, other than through patience, forgiveness, and showing grace and mercy? Q: What are your motives for showing kindness to others? Is it to get something in return? Is it to cause people to see the gospel more clearly? How can you better check your heart motivations for seeking to be kind? Q: Who in your life most needs you to extend kindness? Think through the situations and settings where patience, forgiveness, grace, and mercy are hardest to display with that person. How can you choose and remember to be kind to them? + Use these prayer points to connect your time in prayer to this week s focus. Our most gracious heavenly Father: Thank You for showing me patience by not giving me what my sin deserves. Help me in turn to be patient toward others by not giving them what they deserve. Thank You for forgiving me and taking my sin and shame away. Help me to forgive others when they wrong me, just as I have experienced forgiveness in Christ. Thank You for making your mercy and grace appear to me when I needed it and for 56 C h a r a c t e r M a t t e r s
saving me. Help me make Your grace and mercy tangible and real to other people who need to experience the same kindness You have shown me. Open up my eyes to the people and places where I can be more kind. Make me aware of opportunities to show kindness to others for the sake of displaying Your grace and love. 57 C h a r a c t e r M a t t e r s