1 Safe Travels! (But Not Too Safe) Dr. Tali Zelkowicz, CJDS 5778/2018 Address to the Graduates May 31, 2018 Have a safe trip! Have you ever said that to anyone before? How come we say this? Are journeys dangerous? They can be I suppose we say it to people because we believe they have control over the safety of their journeys. Sixth graders who are graduating tonight Eva, Ruby, Michael, and Izzy you are about to embark on a new educational journey to and through middle school. But I m not convinced I should say, Have a safe trip. Do you feel you have some control over how safe your journeys will be? Yes? No? Yes and no? Parents what do you think? Do they have control over the safety of their journeys? As it turns out, for at least for the last 1600 years, since the 4 th Century CE, there has been one tefilah, one Jewish prayer, that acknowledges that journeys can, indeed, be quite dangerous. I speak, of course, of the prayer the sixth graders sang earlier this evening, Tefilat Ha Derech. Known in English as The Traveler s Prayer or the Wayfarer s Prayer, Tefilah Haderech is said at the beginning of a journey. It is customary to recite when one embarks on a long trip, regardless of the mode of transportation. The prayer asks God to deliver the traveler safely, to protect her or him from any dangers or perils they may encounter along the way, and to return the traveler in peace. There are even some whose practice is to say tefilat haderech every day of a trip until returning home. But does the prayer assume the traveler has any control over the safety of his/her journey? Listen to it again and see if you can tell:
2 Traveler s Prayer in English (translation from: Siddur Temple Israel of Hollywood) May it be Your will, Adonai, our God and the God of our ancestors that You lead us toward peace, guide our footsteps toward peace, and make us reach our desired destination for life, gladness, and peace, and return us to our homes in peace. May You save us from the hand of every foe, ambush, bandits, and wild animals along the way, and from all manner of punishments that assemble to come to earth. May You send blessing in our every handiwork, and grant us grace, loving-kindness, and compassion in Your eyes and in the eyes of all who see us. And please, hear the sound of our prayers, because You are the God Who hears prayer and petition. Blessed are You, Adonai, Who hears prayer.
3 Did you notice one word that repeats 5 times: Shalom. Yes, as one Jewish writer commenting on Tefilat HaDerech once put it, No matter where we go school, grocery store, a family reunion, or as far as New Zealand peace is the desired destination. It is as if peace were an actual place we could find on a map or type into our GPS. So with all this concern over peace, what about our sense of agency over our safety? Does Tefilah HaDerech treat us as having control over our safety? It doesn t exactly say that we don t. But it certainly leans heavily towards assuming God has a lot of control over the outcomes of our journeys. Now, compare and contrast our ancient Tefilat Haderech with this contemporary variation called, A Prayer for Entering Middle School Y hi ratzon milfanecha Adonai eloheinu v elohei avoteinu v emoteinu May it be Your will, Adonai, our God and the God of our ancestors, that on this night, we embrace you our graduating 6 th grade students with love and extend to you the love of our entire school community. We send you off with hope that you will find every fulfilment in the days, months, and years to come, that you will be enriched by every challenge and new experience, that you will learn from everyone you meet and thereby acquire a heart of wisdom, that you will nurture your soul in the traditions of our people and heritage and that one day you may return to us again knowing that CJDS will always be your home away from home. May you be blessed with health, with learning, with joy, and with hope; and may the Eternal One inspire you, protect you and grant you peace. (and let us say) Amen. It s a lovely prayer, but does it assume your journey might be dangerous? Not so much. Only once does even indirectly say, may God protect you and no dangers are specifically listed. But does this version give you control over your journey s outcome? I think it does. You re the agent here as the traveler. It assumes YOU can find fulfillment, that YOU can be enriched, learn, YOU will nurture in your soul the traditions of our people and heritage YOU are an actor. So how do we decide which is better the old or new version? The one written during a time and place so far away from our won, or the one written by people with lives very much like our own? The one that assumes journeys are very dangerous and only God has the power to protect us, or, the one that treats journeys as pretty wonderful and typically safe, and largely puts the traveler in control of his or her destiny? I think your 6 th grade CJDS essential question points the way. In different ways throughout your studies this year you asked: How do I respond to the forces outside of me? Eich ani megiv l kochot m saviv?
4 First off, this question implies you must have at least some control over what happens to you, or you wouldn t bother responding to those forces. I have been thinking about this essential question of yours a lot in these days leading up to tonight. And as I have watched you this year, you have taught me at least three different ways of answering the question, How do I respond to the forces outside of me? The first way to answer it came from something in your science class this year when you were studying cellular structure. I saw from the model that was up on your white board that you learned that a cell is a semi-permeable membrane, which means it lets some things in, let some things out.. selectively. So, if we think of our whole selves as moving through life as one giant semi-permeable membrane, then we have the ability to choose what comes in, what goes out. This is a Bein adam l atzmi answer, between a person and him/herself. A second answer to how to respond to the forces around you lies in Tefilah, b ein adam l makom, between a person and God. Whether you were doing Tefilah in your class, in the gym on Mondays, or with a Torah service on Thursdays, I saw how Tefilah reminds you to say wow, to say thank you, to strive to improve, to study, and Tefilah also challenged you to trust. Without some trust in the world, we cannot move forward. Bravery is not the opposite of fear, trust is. Tefilah provides some pretty important ways to respond to the forces around you. Thank God. Literally. Finally, and most often, I watched you all engage in a third way to respond to the forces around you: through Chevruta. Chevruta is not just studying in pairs, but also refers to true, connective friendship, the kind of friendship that feels like the glue that holds us together in the hardest and darkest moments. Those kind of friends anchor us. Way beyond what it means to be a FB friend, and certainly not the kind of friends that lead us to the opposite destination of Shalom, to make bad, harmful, choices. Chevruta is what you have been to each other. I saw it, your teachers saw it, and it can be one of the strongest forces for good in your lives for years to come. And it is why there were so many tears this week, and today especially. You are sad to make a change to this chevruta. This year, you have called upon each other to become better, you have challenged each other and also the rest of the school, to reach for ever higher kindness. But here s the catch. I actually don t want you to be too safe. I just want you to be safe enough. Otherwise, you won t be able to grow from your journey. So, the tricky part about life then, is how to figure out how safe is too safe, and how safe is not safe enough. I m going to conclude by offering you one sure fire way to check: Ask yourself, are you regularly seeking out experiences that give you goosebumps? That s what psychology Professor, Dacher Keltner, recommends. You remember the movie, Inside Out? Dr. Keltner consulted to the directors at Pixar for that 2015 film. And he also started something called a Social Interaction Lab. But what he really is, when it comes down to it, is a scholar of awe. He says the science of awe shows that so many more opportunities for awe
5 surround us than we even know. And he has shown that regular experience of awe is linked to enhanced critical and creative thinking capacities, improved health, a deep sense of belonging and an increase in pro-social behaviors such as kindness, self-sacrifice, cooperation, and resource sharing. Awe is one of the few emotions that can reconfigure our sense of time and immerse us in the present moment. But our great gran-teacher, Rabbi Dr. Abraham Joshua Heschel must have figured this out long before Dr. Keltner because he said, Our schools must convey to the student a sense for the marvel and mystery of being alive, a sense of indebtedness as well as a sense of significant being, an awareness of holiness in time, the capacity for celebration For sure, there are some risks in living life not too safe. Should you take them? Absolutely. Should you also use all your tools and wisdom to respond to the forces around you to stay safe enough? Absolutely. So, finally, which then is the correct Tefilat Haderech?! Is it the ancient one where God has most of the control and protects us from real dangers out there, or is it the contemporary one where people have most of the control, but they aren t really acknowledging any of the dangers and adversity? Yes. That is the message of CJDS. It is both and. Ancient Jewish wisdom and contemporary knowledge combine fruitfully. Richly. Every day you walked these halls, you have been practicing this dance of living in Jewish and American culture, living Heschel and MLK, breathing Torah and science, thinking in Hebrew and English. In proud CJDS spirit, I offer you this third version of Tefilat Haderech: Y hi ratzon milfanecha Adonai eloheinu v elohei avoteinu v emoteinu May it be Your will, Adonai, our God and the God of our ancestors that You lead our beloved CJDS graduates toward peace, guide their footsteps toward peace, and make them reach their desired destination for life, gladness, and peace, and return them to their homes in peace. May you save them from harmful people, influences, and all matter of mortal danger forever and always. And, AND, may each of you dare to take on new challenges and new experiences, that you can learn and acquire a heart of wisdom, that you will nurture your soul in the traditions of our people and heritage, and return to us every Thanksgiving for Community Day and for many many Kabbalat Shabbat assemblies, knowing that CJDS will always be your home away from home. Blessed are You, Adonai, Who hears our prayer. And let us say, Amen. Safe travels! (but not too safe)