A-level Religious Studies RST4B June 2014 Exemplars with Commentaries Contents: General Guidance Page 2 Candidate A Page 3 Candidate B Page 8 Candidate C Page 13 Candidate D Page 17 Candidate E Page 25 Additionally, whilst using this document you may find it useful to refer to the June 2014 Mark scheme for this unit, which can be found in the Secure Key Materials section on eaqa.
General Guidance Common reasons why some students do not achieve the higher Levels in Unit 4 essays: For AO1 questions: The biggest factor in losing marks is irrelevance. Students must read the question carefully and then select the appropriate material to answer it directly. Material that is not relevant to the question does not gain credit. Higher levels can often be reached simply by addressing all the demands of the question. If the question says, Do x and y, and the student does only x, then this usually restricts their performance to Level 4, since the essay is not likely to be satisfactory. Doing a short essay plan avoids having to write afterthoughts in the margin and losing structure in the essay, since the plan enables students to put their ideas into an ordered progression. Students often include too much anecdote / case history. It is easy to become so wrapped up in people s stories that students forget to do what the question is asking. Students may usefully refer to such things, but do not need to narrate details. For AO2 questions: To get beyond Level 4, more than one point of view needs to be considered in relation to the question. These do not have to be opposing points of view, but they should be different points of view. At A2, a simple Some people agree because some disagree because is unlikely to show sufficient critical analysis to reach the higher levels. The most successful essays consider a range of views. Considering what a scholar / theory says with reference to the quotation and then analysing its value is AO2. Listing what scholars or theories say is not AO2 it is AO1. A list of who says what is not critical analysis. Some knowledge and understanding (AO1) will be necessary as evidence for the point of view that the student wishes to get across, but they should use no more than is necessary to do that. The assessment focus is AO2, not AO1. The key for high-grade work is critical analysis, which means using evidenced, reasoned arguments to reach an appropriate conclusion on the question set. This often uses the technique of argument and counter-argument, and sometimes a counter to the counter before a resolution of the idea is reached. High level essays usually have a clear introduction and conclusion. If in doubt, students can begin with their conclusion, because then they have to justify it, which can lead them to evaluate automatically. The best AO2 essays usually show evidence of planning to organise arguments and evidence. The structure of the argument contributes a lot to the effectiveness of the analysis.
Candidate A 01 Examine ways in which religious fundamentalism may be seen as a reaction against both scientific rationalism and secularism AO1 [45 marks] 3 of 30
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Level 7 Commentary The candidate addresses both parts of the question and focuses accurately on the ways in which fundamentalism is a reaction. Some of the discussion of secularism is embedded into the discussion of scientific rationalism. The well organised essay goes into some depth discussing the relationship between liberal modernism and secularism, citing appropriate scholarship and evidence, and relating it back to specific aspects of fundamentalism. The discussion includes a lot of factual information which covers the key aspects of secularism and secular ethics in contrast to religious fundamentalist world views. It also sets out with examples religious reactions to scientific discoveries and the mindset engendered by scientific rationalism. It shows how religions have reacted to these with examples and evidence. Appropriate reference is made to a range of manifestations of both scientific rationalism and secularism including social and moral codes; world views; the thinking of Bentham, Freud and Nietzsche; education and technology. Because of all these qualities, it is undoubtedly thorough. Assessment What characterises this most clearly as a Level 7 essay is the clear understanding shown. Facts, explanations and development all demonstrate that the candidate understands how developments in scientific thinking and the secularisation of society provoke a reaction from religious people which leads to fundamentalism. For full marks, this would have needed a little more development of how the reaction to these factors leads not only to reactionary thinking, but to the extreme forms of religion characterised as fundamentalist. 7 of 30
Candidate B 02 Religious fundamentalism cannot be clearly defined. Discuss how far you agree. AO2 [30 marks] 8 of 30
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Level 7 Commentary This answer focuses on a perceptive critical analysis of the definitions of religious fundamentalism from a number of scholars. Evidence both from the writings of scholars, and from the beliefs and practices of a range of religious fundamentalists, support a well-argued conclusion that although it cannot be clearly defined, one particular definition comes closest. The starting point is a fairly simple definition. The argument is developed to include a critical analysis of Lawrence s more complex view (Lawrence), and evaluates the family resemblance definition of Armstrong in the light of Appleby et al. Towards the end, through reference to Ruthven, the argument returns to reconsider Lustick s view, leading to a clear statement which addresses the question directly: Therefore I agree with the statement But Assessment The examiner considered that this was the best work that could be expected from a Y13 student under exam conditions and awarded full marks. 12 of 30
Candidate C 02 Religious fundamentalism cannot be clearly defined. Discuss how far you agree. AO2 [30 marks] 13 of 30
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Level 4 Commentary This AO2 essay includes a considerable amount of factual narrative which does not gain credit because it substantially repeats what was in the AO1 part of the answer. The amount of writing that is creditable as AO2 is therefore more limited than the length of the essay suggests. The argument is a simple one and does address the issue: Fundamentalism can be defined as The Five Fundamentals of Christian belief set out in the early 20th century. This definition does not apply to fundamentalist movements in other religions. Khomeini s revolution is a different kind of fundamentalism, and to some extent it has displaced the Christian meaning of the term. Therefore, any definition could not be both accurate and clear. The candidate suggests his/her own definition, but even this is insufficient. Therefore, the term cannot be defined clearly. This argument is quite narrow. The range of evidence used is mostly limited to two fundamentalist movements and there is no reference to scholarly views. The analysis is superficial, though it does lead to a conclusion that is clearly stated. Assessment To reach level 5 this essay would have needed to include some critical analysis: each of the views presented should have been considered positively and negatively, with evidence to inform the critique. For Level 6 and above, discussion of scholars and/or schools of thought are essential. 16 of 30
Candidate D 05 Examine the challenges of practising religion in today s society AO1 [45 marks] 17 of 30
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Level 4 Commentary By starting off not with a specific challenge to practising religion, but with a behaviour which illustrates a challenge, the candidate starts the essay already slightly off focus. The outline of the structure is roughly: women who wear the hijab face challenges o it provokes moral panic & it is linked with terrorism o France banned the burqa secularisation is a challenge o Wilson s definition & Casanova s hypothesis o Sunday trading decline in social significance of religion is a challenge o Dawkins confusion multiculturalism o three views of what multiculturalism is o Faiths contradict each other o discussion of Interfaith issues not directly relevant to challenges there may be challenges from within one s own religion there are challenges in education o Ramadan o Kirpans Buddhist monasticism. Assessment Although this certainly contains key ideas and facts, it is not a fully coherent direct response to the question and it is not clear that the candidate understands the concept of challenges to the practice of religion. The focus is sometimes on the challenge and sometimes on the example rather than the challenge. Furthermore, the examples cited are sometimes peripheral to the challenges presented. For example, the British education system does undoubtedly challenge the practice of religion in some ways. However, the examples cited (Ramadan and wearing the kirpan) are not really challenged by education per se, but by the way that schools operate in terms of catering and health and safety. There is no underlying sense that there are generic challenges to the practice of religion and these are merely illustrative examples. The overall effect of this is to demonstrate that the candidate s understanding falls short of reasonable and the examiner awarded Level 4, 24 marks. To achieve Level 5, the student would need a clearer presentation of specific challenges, each discussed and illustrated with significant examples from the practice of different faiths. 24 of 30
Candidate E 06 Having a strong family life is the most effective way of responding to the challenges of practising religion in society today. Discuss how far you agree. AO2 [30 marks] 25 of 30
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Level 6 Commentary Legibility is an issue with this script, but the content is just about decipherable. The argument is constructed as follows: Outline of several possible ways of responding. How a family might help girls with anti-semitism. Family will encourage someone who feels challenged to return to scripture and will have a shared understanding of the challenge. Family can help Buddhists keep the 5 precepts. Religious leaders may be more useful than family members. Interfaith work can remove challenges altogether. Strong communities may be more effective than families. Conclusion interfaith most effective. Assessment There is a clear focus on the question and each possible response is evaluated whereby different views are discussed and critically analysed. However the absence of any scholarly comment, which would certainly have been appropriate, keeps this to the bottom of the Level 6 band at 24 marks. Mark Ranges and Award of Grades Grade boundaries and cumulative percentage grades are available on the Results Statistics page of the AQA Website. Converting Marks into UMS marks Convert raw marks into Uniform Mark Scale (UMS) marks by using the link below. UMS conversion calculator 30 of 30