I Was Wrong and I m Sorry I. Introduction. A. The two hardest phrases to pronounce in the English language. 1. I was wrong. 2. I m sorry. 3. For some reason, we have a hard time saying these two phrases. B. And even when we do, we often don t mean what we say or we qualify our apology. 1. I m sorry, but... 2. I m sorry if I did anything... 3. I m sorry (but I wasn t wrong). 4. I m sorry (for what, I don t know). 5. I m sorry that you feel that way. 6. I was wrong but I m not sorry. 7. I was wrong, but so were you. 8. I was wrong, but you started it. C. Goal of this morning s lesson 1. To look primarily at two relationships in which we act this way. 2. To point out the importance of admitting wrong and apologizing. 3. To get us to examine our relationships and what we can do to improve them. II. We fail to admit wrong and apologize in our marriages. A. Why is it so easy to see the faults of our spouses? 1. It catches our eyes when they make a mistake. - it s easy to notice when the house isn t clean or the trash isn t taken out. - but why don t we also see the things that we have neglected? 2. Sometimes, we can t help but point out that mistake. 3. This isn t just true about marriages, it s true regarding all people. - We quickly identify what s wrong in someone else s life except our own. - Jesus pointed out this tendency in Matthew 7. 4. It s so obvious to us when somebody else is wrong. - we can spot the smallest flaw from a mile away. 5. Yet, we often can t see our own faults no matter how large they are. - Example of David. - In 2 Samuel 11, David committed adultery with Bathsheba and had it arranged for her husband to be killed. - Yet, David had to be expressly told in chapter 12 that he had done what was wrong. B. Why is it so hard to identify and admit our own errors?
1. Lack of objectivity. - we sometimes view our own lives through rose-colored glasses. - we refuse to see what is so clear to everyone else. 2. Pride. - we think we have the best thoughts and the best ideas and that we know most everything. 3. Stubbornness. - we re too stubborn to admit we might have been wrong. - we don t want to lose the fight. - we want to have the last word. - It s not my fault. C. God tells us to admit when we re wrong and repair the damage that has been done. 1. Not just in our relationships with our spouses. 2. But our relationship with anyone. 3. James 5:16. - confess your trespasses to one another. - in the primary sense, I believe James is instructing us to let our fellow Christians know the things that we struggle with. - but also the point can be made that we need to confess or admit our sins when we sin against our brethren. 4. Jesus makes that same point in Matthew 5:23-26. - Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means get out of there till you have paid the last penny. - tells the guilty party to go and reconcile with their brother. - He s instructing them to swallow their pride and make things right. - To admit wrong and apologize. III. We fail to admit wrong and apologize to God. A. We also fail to see and admit what we do wrong in our relationship to God. 1. The Israelites are a prime example of someone who couldn t or wouldn t see what they were doing. 2. The prophet Malachi paints an alarming picture of the ignorance of the Israelites. - Malachi 1:6, A son honors his father, and a servant his master. If then I am the Father, where is My honor? And if I am a Master, where is My reverence? Says the Lord of hosts to you priests who despise My name. Yet you say, In what way have we despised Your name? - Malachi 1:7, You offer defiled food on My altar, but say, In what way have we defiled You? By saying, The table of the Lord is contemptible.
- Malachi 2:17, You have wearied the Lord with your words; Yet you say, In what way have we wearied Him? In that you say, Everyone who does evil is good in the sight of the Lord, and He delights in them, or, Where is the God of justice? - Malachi 3:8, Will a man rob God? Yet you have robbed Me! But you say, In what way have we robbed You? In tithes and offerings. - Malachi 3:13, Your words have been harsh against Me, says the Lord, Yet you say, What have we spoken against You? 3. For some reason, the Jews could not see where they had done wrong. - even though they were extremely wicked. B. Saul and the Amalekites. 1. In 1 Samuel 15, he was given a command to utterly destroy the Amalekites. - But he didn t entirely, he spared Agag and the best of the livestock. 2. Yet, in verse 13, he announces that he had performed the commandment of the Lord. - Then Samuel went to Saul, and Saul said to him, Blessed are you of the Lord! I have performed the commandment of the Lord. 3. And even when Samuel confronts him, it still takes him quite a while to admit his sin. 4. Notice in verse 24 the seeming confession of Saul. - Then Saul said to Samuel, I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice. 5. Finally in verse 30, he simply acknowledges his sin. - Then he said, I have sinned; yet honor me now, please, before the elders of my people and before Israel, and return with me, that I may worship the Lord your God. C. We must confess our sins to God. 1. What God wants us to do is simply say, I was wrong and I m sorry. 2. To confess what we have done wrong. 3. 1 John 1:9, If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 4. We must confess to God what we have done wrong, and we must ask for forgiveness. D. Two Examples. 1. The sins of David. - Psalm 51. - it may have taken a while for David to realize what he had done. - but David had the kind of reaction that God wants. - Vs. 3-4, For I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Your sight that You may be found just when You speak, and blameless when You judge. 2. The parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector. - Luke 18:9-14. - the Pharisee neglected to confess his wrongs. He chose rather to announce his good deeds.
IV. What must we do? - the tax collector did what God wanted: he admitted his sinfulness and pleaded for mercy. - Vs. 13, And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, God, be merciful to me a sinner! A. Recognize that we make mistakes. a. All have sinned. i. Romans 3:23, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. ii. 1 John 1:8, If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. b. We all know it. i. But sometimes we don t want to show it or admit it. c. Confession of our sins. i. To others. 1. James 5:16, Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. ii. To God. 1. 1 John 1:9, If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. B. Swallow our pride. a. The obstacle to saying these two phrases is pride. i. I m right. ii. I may be wrong, but I m not sorry. b. Pride leads to humiliation while humility leads to exaltation. i. Matthew 23:12, And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted. c. 1 Peter 5:5-8, Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. i. Humility is the answer in our relationships with each other. ii. It is also the answer in our relationship with God. C. Realize the importance. a. In our relationship with others. i. What kind of relationships are we going to have if 1. we are arrogant and act like we know it all? 2. we are stubborn that we refuse to acknowledge when we re clearly wrong? 3. we are so hard-hearted that we don t care when we ve hurt someone who we re supposed to love? ii. If you want stronger, closer relationships, realize the importance of these two phrases. 1. I was wrong.
2. I m sorry. b. In our relationship with God. i. 1 John 1:9, If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1. What is the conclusion if we don t admit our sins to God? a. We re not forgiven. b. We re not cleansed. ii. James 4:8-10, Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you doubleminded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up. 1. What are the keys to drawing near to God? a. Recognition of our sin (I was wrong). b. Godly sorrow (I m sorry). V. Conclusion: Two hardest phrases to say. - But we must learn to say them. - For the health of our marriages and other relationships. - For the well-being of our relationship with God. - Are you ready to say I was wrong and I m sorry to God today?