Credo. And it s also why I am trying to spend more time with this group

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1 Credo Lovely words, yes? I ve been thinking a lot of introductions lately, Especially since several Sundays ago when I was the guest At this year s Coming-of-Age class, Our Unitarian Universalist equivalent of confirmation class Or the Bar or Bat Mitzvah, But with the twist that instead of asking them to Receive from us a list of religious beliefs and then have to say Well yes, okay, I guess I will agree We ask them to work all year with an adult mentor they choose from among The congregation and then, during a service, in 3 minutes or so, describe The things they believe or affirm religiously. Adults in the room, could you do that if asked? And not spend 3 minutes telling us well, I don t believe this, And certainly not that and no, I really don t agree with that! Or a little of this, or that in a quivering ball of equivocation, But instead tell us well, here s where I am on the God question, And here s where I am why is there suffering? question And here s what I think happens after we die. It s no easy assignment, is it? Which is why we support and celebrate Them for getting up in front of us every Mother s Day, this year May 11 th, To share. Mark your calendars! And it s also why I am trying to spend more time with this group

2 Of kids this spring this year all boys! All in one room! And would you believe that no electronic devices are allowed?! I want to be there with them because I believe it matters What we say we believe, because some beliefs, as we read in our Opening Words, Are indeed like walled gardens (this week s debate about who gets To march in the St.Patrick s Day Parade comes mind), Because they encourage exclusiveness and say who s in, And who s out, While other beliefs are more expansive, because they seek to build a bridge Between our differences. And in a world of big-time differences, where categories of race And gender and sexual identity are more fluid and subject to change than ever, We need our kids to know where they stand with their beliefs, don t we? And we also want them to know that where they stand isn t the only place, or the best place, or the saved place, and Hey you over there, Yeah you! - you re just (pick your word): wrong, crazy, dumb, uninformed, unsaved, ignorant, not from around here (and favorite of New England locals)! Words sound familiar? So after church two Sundays ago I arrive to the Coming of Age class With all this importance and high stakes swimming in my mind, And what s the thing the boys most wanted to show me? How far some of them could lean in their chairs.

3 Which was way back. Yeah, I wouldn t do that come on, dude, feet on the floor! Those chairs are expensive! Amazing how old, how rule-bound, how serious teenagers can make you feel. So, guys, I say, our theme for today is noticing the traditions of our church and thinking about why we do what we do here. Yawn, right? I m thinking: would the parents mind if the minister bought the kids coffee? So to make it interesting I decide to ask them what they see people worship in their life; Forgot about church and why we call this a worship service. What do you see yourself, your friends and our culture worship?, Telling them that the word worship doesn t mean to bow, but means To value, to assign worth. And the answers come: technology, popularity, family, money, power, Technology, music, the internet, athleticism, sports, technology. And before you roll your eyes or wrinkle your brow with judgment, Remember this is our culture too, ok? This is the culture we re living in, And we re giving them. And then, by way of contrast, I ask them to name what our church seems to worship.

4 And the answers come: each other (really? You don t go to the meetings I go to), music, sermons, quiet, Spirit, service, sharing, community, coffee hour. And then we draw lines of comparison and contrast between those two lists, And then I remind them of the churches most important mission is often this: To live counter to the culture. Amen? Amen. And then, to make it even more interesting, and dicey for me, I draw three columns down the board, and on the left I write Add In the center I write Keep on the right I write: Let go Okay, looking at the traditions of our church, let s fill out these columns, I say. Dicey, right? Add: More technology! Pop music! Early afternoon worship time! More surprises! Don t do the same thing every week! Keep: Coffee hour. The staff (yeah!) Sermons (but shorter). Silence (it s the one time in the week I get). Chalice. Singing. Old things (building, songs, covenant, windows, things that have been here for, like, hundreds of years). Let Go: Old things (class is now split); Sermons (causes a disagreement- it s like half the service, dude); actually, there s not a whole lot we d let go of (major compliment!). So this class has actually turned fairly interesting, yes?

5 I thought so. I think they thought so. But still 15 minutes to go until pick-up. Yawn. Lean back in chairs. Way back. I have an idea. Guys, I have an idea in the time we have left. I d love to hear some the of questions you have for me, So take a post-it note and feel free to write down any question You have. Anything. And no need to put your name down. You can ask anything anonymously. Dicey, right? But when you re a middle-aged guy trying to connect with teenagers, You have to be willing to take risks. Amen? Amen. Each take a piece a post-it-note. Lean forward in chairs, head on table. And not to toot my own horn, because I couldn t do this without your support, But how great is it that in this church we care what our kids think, And they care what we think, and that questions and questing are an asset and not an enemy to our religious journey here. Slide them over, crumpled, balled, and folded in half. What music do you listen to? Van Morrison. Bruce Cockburn. The Killers (great Vegas-based rock band; going to concern in May). Airborne Toxic Event. Classical guitar. Yeah, diverse tastes.

6 How do you write sermons? With names of people around me, on post-itnotes, who I am thinking of as I write (their names today Oakes, Alex, Paxton, Liam, Dylan, Austin) because preaching is much less about ideas and manuscripts and things the minister Wants You To Hear, And much more about relationships and stories and lives, Me on the front-row seat with you for your highs and lows, your twists and turns, your straight-aways, saying hold-on! And then this question, unfolded with parents at the door, time nearly up. You always ask us what we believe but how come you never tell us? What do you believe in? What are you still unsure of? What doubts do you have? What are you hopeful for? Well. Now it s my turn to lean back in the chair. Way back. Is time up? I ask, only half-joking, Because not only is it hard to name your convictions on the spot like that, But also because belief has such negative connotations in our culture These days, spoiled not least by clergy and other religious folks Whose beliefs often seem to leave room for hardly anyone but themselves. But okay, boys, fair enough. I can t ask you, and we can t ask you, What you believe, what your Credo is, which is a word that best Translates as what I give my heart to, if we don t answer ourselves. Fair enough. So here goes, in three-minutes or less. Are we ready? Am I ready? I, Nathan Detering,

7 A most simple suburbanite, a generally decent father, husband, Friend, neighbor, and Minister, Who nonetheless succumbs to anger that I like to think I inherited from my dad and his dad before him and his before him, And selfishness, too, but also occasional generosity And empathy that spills out of a heart that has been broken, Healed, and filled more times than I can count, Do hereby give my heart to and believe in the following: That every person born is worthy of love, and not just my friends and family And people I have to like very much, But also Todd Barku, my sworn enemy in grade school, And the person on the corner who once shouted a racial epitaph At my adopted Vietnamese sister, And the person who we read about this morning in whatever headline Of your choosing who caused someone else unimaginable pain. Which is an easy enough thing to say, Which is why I also believe in accountability, And that for forgiveness to mean anything it must First require that we reckon honestly and openly with the hurt We cause others, Which includes the ways I have let down the people I love. So yes, I believe in sin, (did he say just say that? you re thinking), But sin in the Hebrew sense of that work, which means to miss the mark. Perhaps Unitarian Universalism s biggest blind spot is our failure To deal directly with the ways you and I miss the mark,

8 The consequence of which is that we carry our wounds like secrets. Good thing I also believe in second chances, and third and fourth and fifth. Which is plain way of saying I believe in redemption, Like I saw last week in the homeless man, an HIV patient, Who in our service trip with the youth group in Boston Explained how after more than a decade on the street he finally Found housing. The first thing he did? Took an hour-and-a-half Shower. Redemption. Do I believe in God? Well, is it enough to say I believe in Love? Because God is not God s name, and every time I use the word I watch half my congregation lean forward in their pews, And the other half lean way back, just like the boys in the chairs. So know I will use the word sparingly, and that every I do I mean not a white guy in a white beard looking like Charlton Heston in the Moses movie, But more like an experience of such overwhelming awe and grace And profound joy and acceptance and depth that I feel as though I can do nothing but pray, Which I also believe in, but not in the kind of prayer that asks For my hair to please stop receding and my cousin s tumor to please Stop growing, because nature is nature, But pray that sounds like this: thank you, help, wow, and please Help find strength. Only a minute left: You asked, boys, what I am unsure of, what I doubt,

9 What I don t understand. Um how about almost everything! Which is a way of saying that one thing I don t understand Is why religious folks, especially ministers, don t describe More our doubts. Would our congregations respect us any less? A few more: I don t know what happens after we die. I like to think, I want to think, that we don t just end, The way I saw the squirrel end, or the fly, or the snail, That the heights of our heights and the lows of our lows, That our capacity to cry and hug and cheer and Sacrifice ourselves means that we are bound for something MORE, But I don t know and I promise I will never say otherwise. I don t know how to explain suffering, least of all when it is A child. When one of youth, Tommy, died from cancer several years ago, It was everything I could to not stand up in front and Rage and rage and rage, because I didn t know how to make sense of it, And I still don t. Suffering is not a punishment for a way of living, I believe that, But I still don t know why it is a part of life. Which is why I have the following words from Rabbi Kushner quoted Behind my computer. God never promised us protection; but God did Promise us presence. To which I say: I hope so; I believe so. And if God is anywhere She or he is surely in you and you and you in the ways we

10 Are present for each other. 10 seconds left to name my hope. What am I hopeful for? Well, I am hopeful for You. And now I mean Dylan, and Austin and Oakes And Alex and Paxton and Liam and all our children. We are sharing with you an oh so beautiful and oh and so Broken world, And my hope is that you will be not afraid. Or at least so afraid that you won t try to find your vocation. And what is that? The place where your deep gladness meets the world s deep hunger. May it be so for them, and for us, too, As we introduce ourselves and our beliefs to each other and to a world Where beliefs matter. Amen.