Talking Points for USET/CET Portion - We Remember time 20 minutes - ENGLISH Max 1. Share personal memories of their relationship before and after the weekend. (1 minute each = 6 minutes) NETO - ENGLISH First we would like to share with you the memories of our relationships before and after living the weekend. Before the weekend, I thought our relationship was very good. We both had good jobs and spent weekends enjoying ourselves. In my home when I said something; it happened. I was a macho man. This attitude caused our relationship to suffer as Ana Lilian isolated herself from me. Although we did not argue in front of our children, they still suffered because they felt the tension in our home. When a friend suggested that we attend the weekend I saw no reason to go. I only changed my mind to get him off my back. After the weekend, I realized why I was married in the church and took seriously what God expected of me. I changed my attitudes about being a husband. I realized I was hurting Ana Lilian and asked for her forgiveness. I became more patient, listened to Ana Lilian and respected her ideas and feelings. I no longer insisted that what I said happened in our home. God became a special guest in our relationship. As a family, we prayed with our children at meals and bedtime. We attended Mass every Sunday and became active members of our parish and the Marriage Encounter community.
ANA LILIAN - ENGLISH We were five years into our marriage before our weekend. I was happy being a mother but not so much being a wife. My insecurities and low selfesteem led me to see myself as the victim in our relationship and became resentful blaming Neto for not being the husband and the father I wanted him to be. I also felt hurt by his attitudes of superiority when he showed his authority at home acting as the macho man. When we got married I had the fairy tale dream - they lived happily ever after. This was opposed to my own experience. My parents were divorced after 23 years of marriage when I was 18, witnessing the suffering in their relationship. I wanted with all my heart to make our marriage different however secretly pondered the possibility of divorce. After our Weekend, the healing that came through forgiving each other s hurts uplifted me so much that our intimacy and sexual relationship grew in passion and spirituality. I started to fight against my insecurities and poor self esteem and realized that the victim role I was playing in our relationship was not helpful. Over time, my confidence grew and I felt FREE of fear to express my feelings in our dialogues. After 36 years of marriage we have given our children the experience I did not have, the experience of a good marriage. With the support of WWME we were able to change the course of our lives by Living Our Sacrament with passion and an open disposition.
FATHER MICHAEL - ENGLISH Before my weekend, I saw my priesthood as primarily a problem-solving exercise. A couple wanted to get married in the Church. A single mother wanted her baby baptized. A family wanted a Catholic funeral for their relative. I gathered the relevant information and tried to determine how I could meet their request. Although I treated them with kindness, since I rarely saw them again after the event, I forgot about them and moved on to the next situation. Since my weekend I see my priesthood as primarily a relationship building exercise. I listen for the relevant information but also the feelings attached to the situation. I trust their sincerity when they say they want to get closer to God. Although I won t likely see them again after the event, I occasionally think about and pray for them rather than hit the delete button and move on to the next situation. Relationships are at the core of my faith and ministry. My weekend enabled me to see this fact more clearly and has made me a better priest. JOE - ENGLISH Prior to our weekend, my marriage with Sue was fulfilling at least to the point that I understood what marriage was supposed to be. We enjoyed each other s company, shared the joy of raising our family together and seemed to be gliding along with our lives tackling each little bump in the road to the best of our ability. After living our weekend, I gained a greater awareness, understanding and appreciation for what our church s intention was for this most beautiful Sacrament. I discovered a depth of intimacy, of being able to truly look into
and listen to Sue s soul with a deeply softened and open heart. Through this discovery a whole new chapter in our relationship, our life s journey has opened up. I believe through this transformation that I discovered a greater meaning of my faith and what my purpose is in His church. SUE - ENGLISH Before our weekend, I thought we had a good marriage. My measuring stick for that was the fact that we had few disagreements and when we did, were able to resolve them in a reasonable amount of time. However, this had to do with thoughts only. What I learned on our weekend was about sharing feelings with each other. By sharing our feelings, we grew a deeper level of intimacy, a greater depth of love than ever before. The flame of our early years was reignited. I remember feeling giddy like a child, not being able to wait to get home so that Joe & I could share our love letters and dialogue on our feelings! Our marriage had been transformed to the one God desired it to be. FR. TOM - ENGLISH Before my original weekend, I had an intellectual understanding of the priesthood. It was theological and dogmatic. It was based on power and position. Ordination gave me authority. Sure, I liked people and wanted to serve, by following the law of the Church and its rules. On the weekend I discovered relationship. I was to serve WITH couples and lay people. I saw that lay people loved God and the Church as much or more than I did. I was one of God s children, which is special in itself. I did not need to compare or to compete. I found that I belonged, I was part of, that we need each other, that together we are the Body of Christ. I felt free to be myself,
not to prove myself. This freedom in right relationships looked like a bald eagle gliding gracefully across the Wyoming skies. CET Ana Lilian (2 minutes) ENGLISH 2. Reinforce the dream of the early couples; We must remember the sacrifices those early couples and priests made for us, and not let them be in vain. The Dream of the early couples and priests was to change the world. And as I observe you all here today I can see that dream came true. The force of your love is shaking the earth! We are an earthquake of Love!! It is easy to get inspired and excited when we are together and feed off of each other s wonderful vibes, but what will happen when you return home and this magical moment becomes a memory? Will you go back and continue doing the same things you were doing for Marriage Encounter? Start small, small steps said Father Chuck Gallagher but he did not mean stay small. He meant, come out of your comfort zone. The couples and priests that gave life to this movement also gave their lives. You can give life to others by greeting couples in a weekend, by being a prayer couple or priest, by attending the sing out at the end of the weekend, by sharing during your community nights, and so on. What does it mean to give your life? In the book He lives written by Father Pat Gorman late 1970 s about WWME in Canada he writes (begin quote): The movement was developing in the Ottawa area in the winter of 1974. Here s the way Vic and Marie describe its struggle. They lived in Deep River some 130 miles from Ottawa. The spark was kept alive by a handful of generous couples sharing openly and trying to grow in their relationship. These couples were so eager that they travelled to Ottawa and back, some
260 miles in all, in the middle of the week to first help keep the budding Ottawa community alive and to develop. (end quote). They gave life to the community with their presence and their testimony. But moreover they gave their lives by driving 4 hours by car to keep the community alive and this is what giving your life means. To continue the journey towards the next 50 years we need to give our lives to our movement to make sure that the sacrifices those early couples and priests made for us were not in vain. CET Ernesto (2 minutes) ENGLISH 2. Challenge everyone that this needs to be our dream as well Now our challenge is that this needs to be our dream as well. On our Weekend we all heard about Don Quixote and Dulcinea / Aldonza. These crazy ideas of changing the world are in each and every one of us. When I say this, it is first thinking of our relationship with our spouses, our children, our family, our friends and the priest or religious thinking of their community. In order for our dream to continue and become a reality, it is necessary to leave our comfort zone, launch ourselves with FAITH and give ourselves until our vision and mission change the lives of as many couples, priests and religious as possible. If we are now celebrating 50 years of existence, it is because the early couples and priests gave with sacrifice, love, dedication and passion. Times have changed and to celebrate our 100 years, we need to double our efforts looking for alternatives that are attractive to our young
couples and priests, thus pass on the torch of our legacy so that they continue proclaiming the value of Marriage and Holy Orders in the church and in the world. However, our movement is in our hands. Our present actions will influence the future of the Family and our Church. Nowadays our church is attacked with so many lies with the desire to destroy it. Remember that our predecessors fought with strength and faith. The words of Don Quixote must resonate in the hearts of all of us... And the world will be better for this: that one man, scorned and covered with scars. Still strove with his last ounce of courage, To reach the unreachable star. Father Michael ENGLISH (3 minutes) 3. To meet this challenge, we are needed now more than ever. Even though Marriage and the Family are the foundation of society, they are being threatened on every level. It is absolutely crucial to present a vibrant, attractive counter-cultural picture. In his essay, The Power of the Powerless Vaclav Havel writes about the importance of living within the truth. The culture he was living in was promoting a world-view which he recognized was false. People like Havel refused to do so and attempted through small actions to live within the truth. They saw the value of living an authentic life worth the price they paid to achieve it. Like the situation Havel faced, living within the truth remains important and challenging for Catholics. Our society promotes a certain vision of reality: individual happiness is the goal of human life; material goods make you happy; freedom means doing what you
want; all relationships are disposable; and the value of anything is determined by its usefulness. Yet, our faith proposes a different view. When one spouse chooses to turn down a lucrative job offer because the other doesn t want to move to another city, the goal of life becomes making someone else happy by making the decision to love. When a priest decides to keep driving the oldest car among the brothers because he would rather sponsor another child in a program designed to alleviate poverty in the developing world, material goods are used to meet needs not wants. When a spouse decides to skip going out for a beer after work and spend more time with the kids, freedom is the ability to fulfill one s responsibilities. When a married couple going through a rough patch in their relationship decide to seek help instead of blaming each other or just walking away, their bond becomes irreplaceable. When a married couple decide to bring a child with serious special needs into the world rather than terminate the pregnancy as others advise, the value of human life is greater than its ability to be useful. In each of these small ways, we can live within the truth and present a counter-cultural picture. Marriage Encounter makes a special contribution to promoting an alternative view of marriage and the family. Through dialoguing we help couples, priests and religious to drill down into the feelings which shape how we experience society s vision of reality and how we respond to it. Through participating in Marriage Encounter events we remember we are not alone in living within the truth. Through witness testimony given on Marriage Encounter weekends, we invite others to hear our alternative.
Living within the truth is not easy. But, our world needs us to do so. Many people co-exist with society s vision of reality without being convinced it is true. By our small actions, we can prove sacrificial love makes us better people, commitments are not empty promises and happiness is not a product you buy on e-bay. SUE ENGLISH (2 minutes) 3. Together as couples and priests and a community of believers, we have the passion and the energy and the ability to change our world and renew our Church by living within this truth, by spreading His love like our early pioneers did. God has called each of us by name to change our world from one full of despair to one of hope, from one filled with darkness to one filled with light, from one filled with hatred to one filled with love. As I look around this room, I see a crazy band of lovers filled with an abundance of love and passion, for each other, for our movement just like those lovers that sat around that kitchen table with Fr. Chuck. We are entrusted to let our lights of love shine brightly for all the world to see, not to hide them under a bushel basket, not to hide them within the four walls of our homes or this convention center. We are charged to be risk-takers; to boldly live this radical lifestyle we were called to live on our weekend. How do we do this? By being unafraid to challenge today s self-centered, all-about-me materialistic society starting with our own children, families, friends, neighbors, and co-workers. To reach out to our local
parishes and offer for our WWME community to help them in renewing our Church by strengthening marriages and families through parish enrichments and non-residential weekends as well as the cornerstone of our movement, our traditional weekend experience. Matthew 7:7 says "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.", but first we must step out in faith and ask, invite. Together we can, we will, we must continue to change our world one couple, one priest, one religious at a time. JOE ENGLISH (2 minutes) 4. Our Precious Lord has called us to be part of His mission to live our sacraments passionately, openly, and with purpose. Although living our weekend was miraculous in what it has done for our relationship, the other incredible transformation was gaining a deep appreciation for understanding our purpose in God s world. Our intimacy grew as a couple as well as a more intimate relationship with our Lord. We were gifted with this beautiful experience to not only transform our own life but to give thanks in return by being examples, daily, through living our faith by our actions. Yes, we just recently heard that we are His modern day Apostles and we truly need to have what we call both feet in. Our Lord s vessel Earth is so in need of our love, compassion, truth and trust. We must understand that Our Lord walks with us He sees and listens to others through our ability to see and listen to those in need. He touches others with our hands. He walks this Earth with our feet. He loves and heals through our heart. Are we aware that He is beside us each moment? Are we aware that He waits patiently for us to let go and know? Are we aware that He is whispering to us Come follow me? How Blessed we are that we
have have been called, to assist in Evangelizing His Church, His world. Simply by our living this radical lifestyle and having both feet in at all times, we become that beacon of love and hope for the entire world to see. We become that beautiful image of Jesus as He walked on this earth and one at a time said Come follow me. What a difference we can and will make as we take every opportunity to reach out to couples, Priests and religious and in turn say to them --- come follow me. Our Church and our world deserves our very best! Together, hand in hand we can and will make a difference! FR. TOM ENGLISH (3 minutes) 7. We Remember. Yes, we do remember Jesus telling us in John 15:5 I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit for apart from Me you can do nothing. We remember that we live in God s love, that we reach out as branches to shade and shelter, to heal, to serve others. We remember that we are here today because of the passion, the commitment, the sacrifice, the dedication of the many giants in our Movement who showed us the way. We are changed sacraments because of their faith and fire. Are WE going to burn with zeal and the fire of the Holy Spirit? Will we be lighthouses for all to see or flashlights twinkling in the dark? The answer is in your hearts. This is not complicated. Let your light shine. Be vulnerable as Jesus was, revealing his true and total self. Tell your vocation story to your children, your friends, your neighbors. Risk reaching out. Trust in God s promise to be with you. Do you dream of a world of justice and peace? Do you dream of a Church of compassion, equality, respect, and mercy? Then work and pray for this to become a reality. Jesus, the master teacher, almost repeats Himself in John 15, verse 16 You did not choose me; I chose you and appointed you to go and bear much fruit, the kind of fruit that remains. Remember, you are not independent from God. You were called by name. You were chosen by God. And you were appointed for a purpose: to bear much fruit. In Worldwide Marriage
Encounter we may use these terms you were invited, you were selected, you were commissioned. Is this that different from our Lord s words? Remember, we do not forget our roots, our past. Remember that we are called to celebrate the present with gratitude. Remember that we believe in Jesus, in resurrection, in the future. The next 50 years is on OUR shoulders. That s you, me, us in this room. Remember who is most important? It is the couple or priest not yet Encountered! So invite the next Local Encounter leader, who is waiting to be asked. You can t do it alone. But WE CAN do it together! And we will be held responsible by LOVE, the Source of Life, by the Vine!