1 Rev. 07-2008
TABLE OF CONTENTS GENERAL INTRODUCTION 3 Page TIME LINE FOR BAR/BAT MITZVAH PARENTS 4-6 STANDARDS AND EXPECTATIONS Torah, Community, Tzedakah MITZVAH PROJECT PROJECT SUGGESTIONS SAMPLE MITZVAH PROJECT PROPOSAL FORM SAMPLE MITZVAH PROJECT REPORTING FORM FAMILY LEARNING SESSIONS - Getting Ready For Bar/Bat Mitzvah Shabbat Retreat - Shabbat B NAI MITZVAH REQUIREMENTS SAMPLE SHABBAT-AT-HOME FORM OTHER RELEVANT INFORMATION -Shabbat Services -Thursday Morning Minyan -Sharing Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date -Lay Participation in Shared Service -Fees -Facilities -Dress -Preparation -Invitations -Service Booklet -The Celebration -Photography BAR/BAT MITZVAH RESPONSIBILITIES IN THE WORSHIP SERVICE -Reform Service -Conservative Service -Jerusalem Shabbat Service FAMILY PARTICIPATION IN THE WORSHIP SERVICES 7-9 10 11 12 12 13 13-14 15 15-19 20 20 20-21 21-22 1
TORAH BLESSINGS 23 THE HONOR OF HAGBA-AH 24 THE HONOR OF G'LILA 25 ASSIGNED PARTS FOR WORSHIP SERVICES 26-29 BAR/BAT MITZVAH BIOGRAPHY FOR TEMPLE LOBBY DISPLAY 30 TZEDAKAH STUDY 31 TORAH STUDY 32 AVODAH STUDY 33 10 TIPS FOR ENHANCING YOUR DAVENING EXPERIENCE 34 STRUCTURE OF JEWISH PRAYER SERVICE 35 KEHILLAH: A TEEN COMMUNITY 36 IMPORTANT CONTACTS 37 2
GENERAL INTRODUCTION Mazal Tov! This is a joyous time for your entire family. Your young adolescent has chosen to enter his or her years as a teenager by embracing Torah, family, tradition, and the Jewish community. Becoming a responsible adult does not happen all at once. It is a never-ending process of intellectual and spiritual growth. While each Bar or Bat Mitzvah has his or her own interests, talents and strengths, our expectation is that each be a mensch. To be a MENSCH has nothing to do with wealth, status or power. The key to being a real mensch is nothing less than character: rectitude, dignity, integrity, and a sense of what is right, responsible, and decorous. -- Leo Rosten, The Joys of Yiddish The term Bar Mitzvah is an especially joyous one in the Jewish religious vocabulary. It means "Son of the Commandment." Within the last century, liberal Judaism has added the term Bat Mitzvah, "Daughter of the Commandment." For centuries now the term Bar Mitzvah has carried with it serious connotations of intellectual achievement, spiritual commitment and moral responsibility. The occasion of the attainment of the status of Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah is a time of solemnity and happiness for both parents and child. Traditionally, this occurs at the entrance into the fourteenth year of life. The modern understanding and practice of Judaism have often led Jews erroneously to regard a Bar or Bat Mitzvah as having completed his or her necessary Jewish education. Rather, Judaism believes firmly that this ceremony and the training that precedes it are but a first step in the child's shaping of a richer and more mature Jewish life. For this reason Bar/Bat Mitzvah is seen not only as a significant religious experience in the life of the early adolescent, but as a preparation for greater responsibility as they become part of BESTY our Temple Teen community. It is therefore expected that every young teen called to the Torah as Bar or Bat Mitzvah will continue to be engaged in the Jewish life of the synagogue through Confirmation and throughout his or her life. 3
TIME LINE FOR BAR/BAT MITZVAH PARENTS SEPTEMBER OF SIXTH GRADE (or 15 months prior to the B/M date) 1. Read this Bar/Bat Mitzvah Booklet carefully. 2. With the B nai Mitzvah tutor s input, determine your child's fluency in the prayers. ONE YEAR 1. Your child should have completed at least four years of Hebrew and Religious School (and should be currently enrolled in both) or special arrangements must have been made with Rabbi Rachel Kort. 2. All financial obligations to the Temple must be current. 3. A letter of confirmation should have been received from the Temple indicating the date of the ceremony. 4. Attend Shabbat services with your child on a regular basis (at least one per month). Make sure your child is signed-up for Angels of Welcoming. Families are encouraged to do this together. 5. Embrace Shabbat with family and friends at home with challah, candles, wine/grape juice, blessings, fun, laughter 6. Make sure your child has a copy of the Saturday Morning Service. 7. Make sure your child is spending the necessary time studying each day. 8. Discuss with your child his/her Bar/Bat Mitzvah Mitzvah Project and help him/her determine how it will be implemented. Turn in Mitzvah Proposal Form to Chavva Olander at chavvao@gmail.com. 9. Make arrangements with a photographer, videographer, caterer and any other professional services you wish to secure. Contact the temple to obtain information about renting the Leon Samueli Banquet Hall or Sidney Eisenberg Chapel for your celebration: 949-362-3999. 4
EIGHT MONTHS 1. Make sure that your child is fulfilling his/her obligations with regard to his/her Mitzvah Project. Make sure that he/she is attending enough Friday night and Saturday morning services so that his/her service attendance requirements will be properly met. Signing up for and fulfilling all the roles of our Angels of Welcoming will ensure this. 3. Finalize arrangements for the Oneg on Friday night (and Saturday morning if you are having a Conservative service) and for any other private functions by contacting Pam@tbesoc.org. 4. Decide if you would like your child to read Torah at the Weekday Minyan in the Eisenberg Chapel the Thursday prior to his/her Bar/Bat Mitzvah. 5. Continue to work on Mitzvah Project. Remember to collect data and take a few pictures. SIX MONTHS 1. Attend the B nai Mitzvah Orientation meeting with the Cantor Young and Chavva (Our B nai Mitzvah Coordinator) to get the tutoring assignment and begin the intensive course of private study. 2. After this meeting, make sure your child reads the Torah portion and writes his/her summary and questions. 3. With the Bar/Bat Mitzvah tutor, set up your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah tutoring schedule. Please be sure to keep all appointments on a timely basis and, in emergencies, notify the tutor as much in advance as possible if an appointment cannot be kept. Attend weekly 30 minute tutoring sessions with your child. Continue to encourage their studies and ongoing progress to prepare. 4. Make sure all financial obligations to the Temple are current. 5. Order invitations. 6. Think about who you would like to honor with parts in the service. (Refer to the Service Honors sample form.) Begin to contact the people who are to participate in the service and give them their parts. If this is a double, please discuss with one of the rabbis before assigning any parts. 5
TWO MONTHS 1. Be on alert for a communication from the temple office informing you of the dates and times of your child's rehearsal appointments with the Clergy. You will also receive an e-mail containing an electronic version of Service Honors and Bar/Bat Mitzvah Biography Form for the Temple Lobby Display. 2. Continue meeting with the tutor weekly. 3. Make sure all oneg and rental fees are taken care of by contacting the temple. 4. Before your child s first meeting with the Rabbi, e-mail a completed Service Honors form to Karol in the Temple office at: communications@tbesoc.org. It is important that you discuss this with the Rabbi before asking someone to participate in the service. (If this is a double, the number of parts assigned for the Ark Openings, Hagba-ah, and G lilah are limited.) FOUR WEEKS 1. Be sure all people who have parts in the service have been contacted and have been given their parts along with the appropriate instructions. 2. Make sure all arrangements with the caterer, musicians (if any) and photographer have been finalized. Make sure they understand Temple policies. 3. Check with the Rabbi regarding your child's progress. THREE WEEKS 1. Make sure you have turned in a completed Service Honors form. Make sure that all Hebrew names are completed on the sheet. Please e-mail this information to Karol in the Temple office at communications@tbesoc.org 2. Make sure you have turned in a completed Bar/Bat Mitzvah Biography Form for the Temple Lobby Display. Please e-mail this information to the Temple office at communications@tbesoc.org. 6
STANDARDS & EXPECTATIONS 1. TORAH A candidate for Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Temple Beth El of South Orange County shall have completed at least four years of Religious School instruction and Hebrew instruction in our synagogue school (or its equivalent in another recognized school) in the years immediately prior to his/her being called to the Torah as a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Under normal circumstances, instruction received in other religious schools will satisfy the academic requirements of the Temple Beth El of South Orange County Aron & Sala Samueli Religious School and its Hebrew department. A child lacking in all or part of the above academic requirements may, at the Educator's discretion, be allowed to prepare by means of private tutoring until he/she has given formal evidence of having completed a comparable course of study. A candidate is expected to continue his/her Hebrew studies at least through the end of the school year in which the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony occurs and to continue his/her religious school studies and active involvement in the life of the community at least through confirmation. Fulfillment of these commitments is a moral obligation that the parents and child take upon themselves at the beginning of the process. A candidate for Bar/Bat Mitzvah must be a student in good standing in both our Religious School and Hebrew School programs at the time he/she is preparing for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony; the student must have a 75% attendance rate. If this standard is not met, the candidate may be declared ineligible to participate in the service on the date scheduled on the Temple calendar, and the date would no longer be reserved. 2. COMMUNITY A candidate for Bar/Bat Mitzvah must be a student in good standing in both our Religious School and Hebrew School programs at the time he/she is preparing for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony. The candidate's family must be members of Temple Beth El of South Orange County in good financial standing at the time of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony. If any one of these standards is not met, the candidate may be declared ineligible to participate in the service on the date scheduled on the Temple calendar, and the date would no longer be reserved. 3. TZEDAKAH Rabbi Eleazar stated, whoever gives tzedakah and does justice is considered as though he/she had filled the whole world with loving-kindness. [Sukkah 49b] We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. --Winston Churchill All young adults who become a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at Temple Beth El of South Orange County are required to give tzedakah to a Jewish organization. There is no set amount one must give. When considering how much to give, understand that the amount should be meaningful to you. And support an organization whose values are important to you. 7
There are many opportunities. If you are passionate about Israel, make a contribution to an organization that supports Israel. If you are passionate about the environment, support the Jewish National Fund, the Coalition on the Environment and Jewish Life [COEJL]. If you want to support the medical community, contribute to the Hadassah Hospital or ARMDI. If you like sports, contribute to Maccabi International. If you are concerned about poverty give to Mazon. If you care about young people contributing to peace in the Middle East, give to Seeds of Peace. The possibilities are endless. Do some research and find a Jewish institution to support. Google your interest and see what you find! For parents: On joyous occasions, it is the custom of our tradition to show appreciation. (i) A contribution to the Temple or to one of its established funds is normal and appropriate at this time. (ii) It is also common courtesy [derech eretz] to write thank you notes to the clergy after a life cycle event. (iii) In addition, each family is strongly encouraged to donate 3% of the cost of the entire celebration to MAZON, a Jewish organization that does a wonderful job in helping to feed the hungry. Many chose to put this 3% in their budget for the family simcha. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 What else can you do to be a mensch at your Bar/Bat Mitzvah? DONATE 3% of the cost of your simchah to MAZON: A Jewish Response to Hunger [http://www.mazon.org/]. Historically, rabbis did not allow celebrations to begin until the community s poor were seated and fed. Today, Jews symbolically observe this tradition by donating 3% of the cost of lifecycle celebrations weddings, bar and bat mitzvahs, anniversaries and other joyous occasions to MAZON. INVEST some of your money in a State of Israel bond like the Mazel Tov Bond this is not tzedakah but an investment where you make money and support the State of Israel. http://www.israelbonds.com SUPPORT TBESOC by ordering your tallit, kippot and invitations at our Gift Shop. MITZVAH KIPPOT: Want to have the most beautiful kipot for your guests? Ones that no one has ever seen before? Brightly colored and beautifully patterned? Check out MayaWorks at www.mayaworks.org. These kippot will not only wow your guests but will also help support the women who make them in remote villages of Guatemala. (These women are VERY busy you need to place your order very early.) MITZVAH TALLIT: A new tallit and tallit bag to hold your first tallit? The North American Conference on Ethiopian Jewry, 212-233-5200, NACOEJ@aol.com, or visit their website: www.nacoej.org. They have available the most beautiful tallit you can imagine. The tallesim are woven at the NACOEJ compound in Addis Ababa and the colors are bright and attractive. Suitable for both males and females, purchasing one of these gorgeous works of art will provide a family in Ethiopia with food for a month! A very wise investment! WHAT TO DO ABOUT INVITATIONS? Use recycled paper. Make original art. Get your invitations at the Temple Beth El gift shop and support your temple. Go paperless. 8
CENTERPIECES: There are so many things you can do for centerpieces: 1. Books! An arrangement of kids books, audio tapes, video tapes and CD s can then be given away to a deserving organization in your area. 2. Food! An arrangement of canned and boxed foods in a basket can then be donated to a local pantry or shelter. 3. Want to go the traditional route with flowers or plants? Arrangements of individual plants and flowers can be broken up and distributed to the local hospital, shelter or nursing home, or you can ask your rabbi to give you the names of congregants who might enjoy some. You can do this with balloons and bima arrangements, too. 4. Speaking of bima arrangements.don t forget you can make attractive baskets of toys and stuffed animals and distribute them as well. 5. Are you a sports fanatic? Try collecting sports equipment and arrange it as centerpieces. After the party? Give it away to local shelters where kids may not have their own equipment. 6. Use your imagination! There are hundreds of ways to do this just keep thinking Mitzvahs! Got a caterer preparing your party? Make sure you tell them that you want all of the leftovers packed up so that you can bring them to a nearby pantry or shelter after your party. Don t let them tell you they can t because they don t want to be sued. Here is a copy of the Bill Emerson Good Samaritan Food Law (a federal law which states that no one can be held liable for any illness resulting from the donation of food). Many people do not know about this law. It will be your proof if the caterer does not want to cooperate! Selections from The New Federal Food Donation Law The Bill Emerson Good Samaritan Food Donation Act appears in the Child Nutrition Act of 1966 as 42 U.S.C. 12672. The legislation essentially states that the donor of food to a non-profit organization to people in need is free of liability. This act provides uniform coverage for the entire country. I have italicized the sections that relate to issues of liability: (c) Liability for damages from donated food and grocery products. (1) Liability of person or gleaner. A person or gleaner shall not* be subject to civil or criminal liability arising from the nature, age, packaging, or condition of apparently whole-some food or an apparently fit grocery product that the person or gleaner donates in good faith to a non-profit organization for ultimate distribution to needy individuals. 9
MITZVAH PROJECT Enjoy this opportunity to make a difference in our community. Your mitzvah project should be one that is meaningful to you. The project can be as elaborate as the candidate wishes to make it, but the end result should be that effort is expended to help the needy or the infirm, to reach out to those who are lonely, or to work for social justice. Take the time to create a project that makes you feel good about taking on this adult responsibility. Complete a Mitzvah project proposal (see following pages for sample form), return it to the Cantor (our b nai mitzvah program coordinator), and schedule a 30- minute meeting with one of the clergy. We are here to help you, guide you and encourage you. Mitzvah Project Guidelines: Your project should involve at least 10 hours of community service. Projects can be done individually or as a small group. Your project should make you feel like you have made a difference upon completion. Be as creative as you like. Every project includes at least three of these key elements: o Hands-on work (time spent working) with the organization o Advocacy for the cause o Educating others about the issue o Collecting items THE 6 MOST USEFUL JEWISH QUESTIONS TO ASK: When it comes to choosing a Mitzvah project, the following questions will help you focus on which one is best for you: 1. What am I good at? (May include: giving big hugs, playing soccer, baking chocolate chip cookies, talking on the phone for hours, being a computer whiz, or drawing or painting ) 2. What do I like to do? (What activities give you the most pleasure? Can you sit and read for hours? Are you really excited about playing the guitar or keyboard?) 3. What bothers me so much about what is wrong in the world that I get really angry and want to do something about it? (Do I feel uncomfortable visiting a nursing home and seeing so many people just sitting and staring into space? Does it bother you there are hungry kids? Turn what bothers you into Tikkun Olam and make a difference.) 4. Whom do I know? (Rock stars always call their friends to raise money for a worthy cause. Know someone who enjoys playing a musical instrument as much as you do and would like to join you in a concert at a local nursing home? Maybe you have a relative who is a dentist and is willing to give you dental supplies that can be donated to a dental clinic in Jerusalem? Are you and your friends soccer players who could teach kids at a homeless shelter how to play?) 5. Why not? (There s no real reason why not. So, let s do it.) 6. What can I do right now, today, in the next week, or in the period leading up to my Bar/Bat Mitzvah to make a difference? (Get started. Have Fun.) Source: Danny Siegel s Bar and Bat Mitzvah Mitzvah Book, Town House Press. 10
Project Suggestions: TEACH: Volunteer to teach a child/children a new game or skill. Where do you find these children? Call a pre-school, your neighborhood elementary school or a homeless shelter. COACH: Be an assistant coach. Call the JCC or a sports league you might be affiliated with and offer your skills and services. ENTERTAIN: Contact Children s Hospital of Orange County and put on a puppet show. Call Heritage Point or another retirement center and perform a series of music concerts or magic shows. READ: Contact a literacy program and become a reading buddy. Call your local elementary school and offer to read with children after school. HELP: Volunteer at Temple Beth EL! Filing, typing, copying, stuffing envelopes and answering phones are all tasks that can be very helpful to an understaffed agency. VISIT: Visit with and talk with elderly people; lead Shabbat services at a retirement home, read to someone, write a letter for someone or just listen to their stories. Make this a one hour visit once a week SOCIALIZE: Call a local group home for disabled kids or some other setting where kids need others to talk to. CARE FOR ANIMALS: Call a shelter and help with feeding, grooming, exercising and cleaning cages. COLLECT: Organize a drive to collect items that benefit specific groups. Find an organization that you feel really helps people and ask them what items would be helpful. (Clothing, Operation Noah stuffed animals, school supplies, food, toys, books, toiletries, money, etc) DECORATE: Create Tzedakah-pieces in lieu of centerpieces at your B nai Mitzvah. Baskets of helpful items wrapped creatively send a very positive message to party guests. RECYCLE: Be a friend to the environment and raise consciousness of ecological concerns. Work with the JEWISH NATIONAL FUND to plant trees in Israel. DONATE: Make a financial commitment to the Jewish community as a mitzvah project. Donate a certain percentage of the total amount you receive as gifts MEMORIALIZE: Take a video camera and document the stories of the Jewish War Veterans. 11
Sample Mitzvah Project Proposal Form Every Mitzvah Project includes at least three of these key elements: Hands-on work (time spent working) with the organization Advocacy for the cause Educating others about the issue Collecting items Please describe your mitzvah project here: What is the goal of your project? How will you accomplish your goal? (Be sure to include who/what/where/when.) How will you track your progress (number of hours, pounds collected, etc.) If you have a name for your project, what is it? When do you think you will you begin and end your project? Return this completed form to the b nai mitzvah coordinator and schedule a 30-minute meeting with a member of the clergy or the b nai mitzvah coordinator to discuss it and study related texts. Sample Mitzvah Project Reporting Form Name: Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date: In a few words, where did you do your mitzvah project (e.g., South County Outreach, Heritage Pointe, at school)? In a few words, who did your mitzvah project serve (e.g., kids, animals, elderly)? In one sentence, what was your mitzvah project? What data do you have about what you did? (For example, I collected $xxx, spent xxx hours volunteering, recruited xxx people to help, distributed xxx materials, educated xxx students about the issue, etc.) In one sentence, how does what you did help? 12
FAMILY LEARNING SESSIONS 1. Getting ready for Bar/ Bat Mitzvah Shabbat Retreat Parents and their child who is about to become Bar or Bat Mitzvah will participate in a Shabbat retreat with the Clergy Team during 6 th grade in preparation for the Bar or Bat Mitzvah. This retreat is an important opportunity to attend a Shabbat service and see how becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah is celebrated at Temple Beth El. This Shabbat experience is an integral part of our B nai Mitzvah education program and is designed to explore of the rituals, liturgy, and sacred obligations of becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah in Jewish tradition and at Temple Beth El. 2. Shabbat (saving the best for last!) While much of becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah is about becoming a mensch, it is also about taking ownership of one s Jewish life. Shabbat is central to the Jewish life of the family. Thus, we at Temple Beth El encourage you to celebrate Shabbat with great joy and with friends and family. Come to services together on Friday nights or Saturdays mornings, go back to one or the other s home for a wonderful Shabbat meal. B nai Mitzvah Shabbat Requirements -Angels of Welcoming- Rather than just having requirements to show up for a certain number of services, b nai mitzvah candidates and their families are asked to serve specific roles in our services to help us create a warm and welcoming community. This is also a wonderful way for B nai Mitzvah families to get to know and support each other during a year when private studies may pull us away from community. Please be sure to sign up using our sign up genius website: http://www.signupgenius.com/go/20f0c4aaaaa28a13- angels 8 Friday night and 8 Saturday morning services. *Please be prepared to fill the other roles on the day you are volunteering if there is no other family to fill that role. Some families are doubled up for one job while the other roles are blank for that day. It is wonderful to have any families present help with the other roles together. If you cannot be there for the date you signed up for, please call someone from the roster to take your place. AW= Angels of Welcoming (both Friday and Saturday) As an usher, you are often the first person to see visitors and members as they arrive for services. Please welcome them and wish them Shabbat Shalom! Ushers should hand out the supplement, show them where to find a kippah, and open the door to the sanctuary so that they may walk in. (2 families can sign up) DL= Dance Leaders (Friday) During our Kabbalat Shabbat service, we have created space for worshippers to get up and dance around the sanctuary to help usher in the joy of Shabbat. As a Dance Leader, we would like for you to be the first up to start the dancing with our clergy, and encourage other congregants to join you. Building community should be fun! HU= Healing Ushers (Friday) 13
When we hand out challot during services for our Temple Beth El families who are homebound due to illness, we ask that you collect each challah from the clergy on the bimah to hand out to the congregants who have volunteered to bring them to our families. Challah= Challah Ushers (Friday) During our closing song, our challah ushers should go to the rotunda to collect the baskets of challah. Ushers should then wait at the doors of the sanctuary to wish people a Shabbat Shalom and pass out the challah as congregants leave. KH= Kiddush Helpers (Saturday) Please go to the rotunda at the conclusion of services (during the closing song) and pass out Kiddush cups to each congregant as they exit the sanctuary into the rotunda. (2 families can sign up) Jerusalem Shabbat & Conservative Services- (Saturday) AW= Angels of Welcoming As an usher, you are often the first person to see visitors and members as they arrive for services. Please welcome them and wish them Shabbat Shalom! Ushers should hand out the supplement, show them where to find a kippah, tallit, and siddur. (2 families can sign up) KH= Kiddush Helpers (Saturday) During the closing song, go outside the chapel and grab the Kiddush tray to hand out Kiddush cups to congregants as they leave the chapel MS=Meal Sanctifiers Please take the study sheets from the chapel to the banquet hall upstairs to pass out to congregants who need them. Study session happens over lunch, which is provided for everyone. At the conclusion of the meal, please pass out the Birchonim ( Blessing after the meal sheets). While we hope you will join the community for the meal, it is alright if you are not able to stay. *Fridays - Please be here no later than 5:45pm for our Kabbalat Shabbat services. We begin in the social hall with candle lighting, and then move everyone into the sanctuary for services. *Saturdays - Please be here by 9:45am for our sanctuary services - Please be here by 9:15am for our Jerusalem Shabbat services, which take place in the chapel. Encouraged: *Host (2) Shabbat at-home experiences: Invite another family/friends over for Shabbat dinner or lunch after services; (Shabbat dinner after the 6:00 pm services the 1 st and 3 rd Shabbat of the month; Shabbat dinner before 7:30 pm services the 2 nd, 4 th, & 5 th week of the month; Shabbat lunch after Shabbat morning services 10:00am) a. Have the Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidate help set the menu and prepare a Shabbat meal b. Enjoy a wonderful Shabbat meal with all the blessings lead by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah: candles, kiddush, motzi, birkat hamazon/blessing after the meal c. Lead a Torah discussion on the weekly portion. Two great resources to help you lead a meaningful Torah discussion can be found on the Union for Reform Judaism website called Shabbat Table Talk; http://urj.org/shabbat/intro/ and The United Synagogue of Conservative 14
Judaism website called Torah Sparks; http://www.uscj.org d. Briefly write up your experience. Name: Date of Shabbat dinner: What the Rabbi spoke about during services: Sample Shabbat At-Home Form Who did you have over for Shabbat? What did you eat? What you talked about during your Torah discussion: OTHER RELEVANT INFORMATION: SHABBAT SERVICES During the Friday evening service, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah's mother (along with the bar/bat mitzvah and grandmothers, aunts, and sisters, if desired) will be invited up to light the Shabbat candles. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah will chant the blessings for Kiddush and Motzi at the end of the service. During the Saturday morning service the Bar/Bat Mitzvah will conduct the service along with Clergy. He/she will also chant a section of the Torah and chant the Haftarah. The child will also deliver a D Var Torah (a teaching of Torah), based on the weekly Torah portion, and will chant the Kiddush after the service. On Friday evening, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah family/families host the Oneg Shabbat, and on Saturday provide a Kiddush of challah and wine for the congregation. You may choose to host an extended Kiddush, luncheon, or dinner for invited guests in our Banquet Hall or Chapel. For more information on rentals and to handle your Oneg Shabbat please contact our office. If your B nai Mitzvah is a Conservative or Jerusalem Shabbat service, please plan to sponsor the community lunch or make a 15
contribution. THURSDAY MORNING MINYAN Each Bar/Bat Mitzvah has an opportunity to read Torah and lay tefilin at the Temple s Weekday Minyan in the Sidney Eisenberg Chapel on the Thursday mornings immediately prior to the bar/bat mitzvah Shabbat. Reading Torah at the Weekday Minyan is a great way to contribute to this prayer community. You must decide if you would like to participate in the Weekday Minyan before your child s Torah Reading is assigned. The Weekday Minyan reads Torah according to the Conservative Movement Triennial Reading Cycle. The clergy will need to take participation in the Weekday Minyan into consideration when assigning your child s Torah reading. SHARING A BAR/BAT MITZVAH DATE Due to the fact that we are blessed with so many students, in most cases two young adults will be called to the Torah as a Bar or Bat Mitzvah on the same Shabbat. They will help lead the service together. Each will read Torah and Haftarah and deliver a D Var Torah. LAY PARTICIPATION IN SHARED SERVICES When your child is sharing his/her Bar/Bat Mitzvah service with another youngster, it will be necessary for both families to work together in distributing honors to relatives and friends. The only honors that must be shared are THE ARK OPENINGS (a total of 3 people per family),hagba-ah (lifting the Torah) and G LILA (dressing the Torah), and the Candle Lighting on Friday night. Non-Jews and children younger than Bar/Bat Mitzvah age may open the ark. A person must be Jewish to make an aliyah to Torah (non-jewish partners may accompany those making an aliyah) and to lift and dress the Torah. Children younger than Bar/Bat Mitzvah age may dress the Torah, but the Torah lifter must be of Bar/Bat Mitzvah age or older (and strong enough to lift the Torah.) FEES There is a $1,000 fee to cover the special costs involved in the B nai Mitzvah program. This is in addition to all regular school fees. In order to schedule a Bar/Bat Mitzvah date, the Temple must receive $500 of that fee. The remaining $500 is due at least six months prior to the service in order to begin work with a tutor. At that time all other financial obligations to the Temple must be current. An oneg fee will be collected about two months out from your date ($600 for those with a single Bar/Bat Mitzvah date, $375 for those who are sharing a service.) THE CANDIDATE'S FAMILY MUST BE MEMBERS OF TEMPLE BETH EL OF ORANGE COUNTY IN GOOD FINANCIAL STANDING AT THE TIME OF THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH CEREMONY. If any one of these standards is not met, the candidate may be declared ineligible to participate in the service on the date scheduled on the Temple calendar, and the date would no longer be reserved. FACILITIES Special boxes with tiny scrolls in them traditionally worn during morning services deriving from the v ahavta: And you shall bind them for a sign upon thy hand, and they shall be for frontlets between your eyes. 16
Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremonies are held at the Temple. There are fixed seating facilities for up to 500 people (even more can be accommodated when necessary) and indoor sit-down eating facilities for up to 250 people. Receptions can be held elsewhere, as long as a Kiddush (wine or juice and challah) is held at the Temple immediately following the service (which is included in the oneg fee and will be set out by Temple staff). If your family would like to host a private luncheon or dinner celebration at the temple in our beautiful banquet facility, please contact our event coordinators at 949-362-3999 ext 401 to make those reception arrangements. DRESS The Bar/Bat Mitzvah child should wear clothing consistent with the dignity of Shabbat This means slacks and dress shirt (with or without a tie) or a modest dress or something comparable on Friday night, and a suit or sport coat, tie and slacks, dress, or other modest clothes on Saturday. One may not wear spaghetti straps or have bare shoulders. Shoes also should be appropriate for synagogue wear (no sneakers or stiletto heels). A tallit and head covering are expected to be worn by all Bar/Bat Mitzvah candidates, and of all who are given an aliyah, or whose part involves the touching of the Torah. Women are encouraged to wear a tallit and kippah just like the men. Non-Jews will most often wear a head covering/kippah out of respect. It is not appropriate for non-jews to wear a tallit since the tallit symbolizes taking on the holy obligations of the Jewish people. 17
PREPARATION It is expected that the parents will thoroughly read this Bar/Bat Mitzvah Booklet and will be aware of the things expected of them and their child. The parents are expected to oversee the entire process, making sure that meetings are scheduled, the necessary tutoring is taking place and, most importantly, that Shabbat is embraced as a family. Neither the Temple nor the Temple Staff is responsible for taking the initiative beyond the distribution of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Booklet at the meeting of all parents whose children are entering the Sixth Grade. Depending on the candidate's proficiency in Hebrew, he or she will require either a greater or lesser amount of tutoring at the temple. Much of our training will happen during Hebrew School sessions. Some students will require additional tutoring sessions which will happen at the synagogue during the week. If additional tutoring is needed beyond that in order to overcome rough spots, the cost is borne by the family. INVITATIONS Since every Shabbat Service is a community worship experience, a general invitation will be extended to the entire community through our e-templetalk. In addition, printed invitations may be sent by the family. Appropriate wording will be suggested by our invitation specialists and event coordinators (contact them at (949)362-3999 ext 401). It is appropriate that guests be informed of and encouraged to attend the Friday evening service. Mention of this service should be included with the invitation. We encourage you to order your invitations through our event coordinators who can also give you a 20% discount on your order. SERVICE BOOKLET The Temple office will prepare a welcome booklet to be distributed to all those in attendance at the service. No such booklets are to be prepared outside. This booklet will contain a list of those participating in the service, as well as commentary on the service. In case of shared ceremonies, only one booklet will be prepared which will include information applicable to both families. THE CELEBRATION It is entirely proper to mark this time of joy with family and friends. Because the occasion for the celebration is of a religious nature, good taste dictates that social functions held in conjunction with the ceremony be kept dignified. The family of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah should understand that the most significant part of the observance occurs in the Sanctuary or chapel during the Service. We strongly recommend that the social celebration be modest, dignified, and consistent with the spiritual and religious meaning of the day. If you decide to have some theme reflected as part of the post-service party, you are strongly 18
encouraged to maintain the spiritual nature of the occasion by choosing a theme which is not frivolous or materialistic in nature, and thus it is strongly recommended that you use centerpieces that can be donated to Tzedakah after the party (e.g. food that can be given to a charitable food distribution pantry or toys that can be given to the Jewish Family Service). You are also encouraged to place MAZON cards on each table (see the Tzedakah section below). When choosing a location to celebrate your simcha, remember that celebrating at the Temple is a double mitzvah. Not only is it a benefit to your Synagogue, but you can t beat our convenient location, amazing view, versatility, and affordability. For more information on rentals please contact our office. KOSHER: Please note that due to religious sensitivities, no shellfish or pork products may be served. Additionally, no meat products may be mixed with dairy products in the same meal. This is recommended even when the celebration is off premises, to be inclusive of guests for whom some degree of kashrut at a Jewish event is expected. PHOTOGRAPHY It is possible to have someone video-tape or take photographs of the Saturday morning service, but only if the camera is stationary in the back of the sanctuary, and (1) no flash is used, (2) the camera is in silent mode, and (3) the photo/videographer remains in one spot (i.e., does not move about the room.) If you would like to take pictures prior to the service on Shabbat you may do so. Please pay special attention to the kavod (dignity) of the Sefer Torah (scroll). Clergy will be available from 9:30 to 9:45am for pictures upon request. To honor Shabbat, some families choose to take pictures early in the week. In this case, please schedule a time in the sanctuary with the Clergy. It is our hope that the preparation for and experience of your child being called to the Torah as a bar/bat mitzvah will prove to be a time of Jewish growth and commitment for the entire family, and that all will look back upon it with fond memories. The entire team at Temple Beth El is most happy to answer any questions that may arise at any point along the way. 19
BAR/BAT MITZVAH RESPONSIBILITIES IN SHABBAT MORNING SERVICE To become Bar/Bat Mitzvah means to have acquired the ability to read fluently the prayers that are part of the normal Sabbath service. For this reason, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is expected to: Lead a good portion of the Saturday morning service Chant Torah and Haftarah, Deliver a D Var Torah/teaching of Torah. This is an opportunity to teach the congregation the lessons, morals and values that he/she has learned from the Torah portion and the relevance to his/her life today. A. In the Reform service held in the Pasternack Family Sanctuary, each candidate will lead the following Hebrew prayers (along with specified English readings) from Mishkan Tefilah: 86 Tallit Presentation/Blessing (BM) 128-130 Sh ma)/ V ahavta (BM) 94-98 Nissim B chol Yom (BM) 138 Amidah: 102 Eilu D varim (BM) 138 Adonai S fatai (Cantor) 111-112 Ashrei (BM/congregation responsively) 140-142 Avot, G vurot (BM) 120 Chatzi Kaddish (BM) 162 Sh ma/echad (BM) 122 Bar chu (Cantor) 168 Haftarah (BM) 124 Yotzer (BM) 189 V sham ru/kiddush B. In the Conservative service held in the Sidney Eisenberg Chapel [option to hold service in the sanctuary if available], each candidate will lead the following Hebrew prayers from Sim Shalom: *If a Bar/Bat Mitzvah wants to lead shacharit, an arrangement can be made with Rabbi K vod. OPTIONAL TORAH SERVICE MUSAF 139 Ein Kamocha-Vay hi binsoa 155 Chatzi Kaddish 156B Amidah - Avot & Gevurot 141 Shma & Echad Eloheinu 157 Amidah - Kedushah 142 Torah Blessings 181 Kaddish Shaleim 146-7 Haftarah Blessings CONCLUSION 151-2 Ashrei 182 Ein Keiloheinu 153 Mizmor l David 183 Aleinu 184 Mourner's Kaddish REQUIRED 187 Adon Olam C. The Jerusalem Shabbat Experience is a 9:30am service with Cantor Young, Rabbi K vod, and the Band of Milk and Honey. It s a very participatory service that includes heartfelt melodies, meditation, and is accessible to people who have little experience with Jewish prayer services. It takes place in our chapel space which creates an intimate experience. Most importantly, it occurs in the context of our regular Shabbat morning community. Along with your family and friends, one can expect about 50 regular attendees who help create a warm and welcoming atmosphere. Becoming B nai Mitzvah is about being recognized as an adult in the Jewish community. By being a 20
part of this community service, there is an opportunity for you and your child to build strong relationships with other members of our Temple Beth El family. This service is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate and connected to community. The more your family participates in these monthly services, the stronger your bonds will be with this special community, and the more familiar your family will become with the flow and melodies of the service. Jerusalem Shabbat happens once a month followed by a community lunch. We hope you stay for lunch and enjoy some meaningful conversations with other members. (insert Jerusalem Shabbat requirements with page numbers from Mishkan and Sim Shalom) Requirements for leading the Jerusalem Shabbat service include only the Torah service requirements listed on page 20 of this handbook. If a Bar/Bat Mitzvah wants to lead shacharit, an arrangement can be made with Rabbi K vod. FAMILY PARTICIPATION IN THE WORSHIP SERVICE FRIDAY NIGHT 1. Mother recites Candle Blessing - she can be joined by a. Daughters/Young Sons b. Grandmother(s) c. Aunts 2. Family hosts Oneg Shabbat for the community. Bar/Bat Mitzvah leads Kiddush and Motzi. SATURDAY MORNING 1. Parents, Grandparents and Siblings sit in front row. 2. Aliyot (Blessings before and after reading section of Torah). The final aliyah is done by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. The aliyah immediately preceding the final aliyah is done by the parents. Others can be given to a. Grandparents, Uncles/Aunts, Siblings (over the age of 13) b. Other relatives or friends it is acceptable for a non-jewish person to accompany their spouse for an aliyah, but we would expect that only the Jewish partner pronounce the blessing. Aliyot can be done in pairs (e.g. Aunt and Uncle share one aliyah). The number of aliyot depends on number of verses the Bar/Bat Mitzvah reads (rule of thumb = 1 aliyah requires a minimum of 4-5 verses.) 3. Torah Reading: the honor of reading one aliyah s worth from the Torah can also be done by members of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah's family and by close friends. This would not reduce the number of verses read by the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Ask the Rabbi or for more information if you think you might like to do this. 4. Passing the Torah to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is done by Great Grandparents, Grandparents and Parents. 5. Personal blessings to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah a. Can be made by one parent when Torah is transmitted -- and by other parent during presentation of tallit. The comments can be public or private. b. Please keep them brief (half a page or roughly a minute.) 6. Open and Close Ark -- Before and After Torah Service -- can be done by: a. Relatives or friends b. Up to 6 people (total) - in pairs (one pair for each ark opening) c. Children acceptable 21
d. Non-Jews may open the ark 7. Hagba'ah and G'lilah a. Hagba-ah, the Torah lifter, must be Jewish and of Bar/Bat Mitzvah age and should be able to lift Torah (see sheet) b. G'lilah, the Torah dresser(s), must be Jewish and can be a child 8. For conservative services, the family is asked to sponsor the Kiddush lunch for the community (either with a caterer or by providing food according to our food policy available here http://tbesoc.org/trustees.htm) Please plan on providing food for your family s guests PLUS 40 Shabbat regulars. 22
THE TORAH BLESSINGS In our synagogue, it is customary for both men and women to wear a tallit (prayer shawl) and a kipah (head covering). Come to the Bimah (pulpit) when called by your Hebrew name, and stand to the left of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Touch the Torah scroll with the fringes of your tallit, kiss the fringes, then say the first blessing. Then wait while a section of the Torah is read chanted. After this is done, do the second blessing. Then move to the right side and stand there until the next person has completed his/her aliyah. Then be seated. BEFORE THE READING: BAR'CHU ET ADO-NAI HA-M'VO-RACH. (Congregation Responds: BA-RUCH ADO-NAI HA-M'VO-RACH L'O-LAM VA'ED) (You repeat: BA-RUCH ADO-NAI HA-M'VO-RACH L'O-LAM VA'ED) BA-RUCH A-TAH ADO-NAI ELO-HEI-NU ME-LECH HA-O-LAM, A-SHER BACHAR BA-NU MI-KOL HA-A-MIM, V'NATAN LA-NU ET TORAH-TO. BA- RUCH A-TAH ADO-NAI, NO-TEIN HA-TO-RAH. AFTER THE READING: BA-RUCH A-TAH ADO-NAI ELO-HEI-NU ME-LECH HA-O-LAM, A-SHER NATAN LA-NU TO-RAT E-MET, V'CHA-YEI O-LAM NA-TAH B'TO-CHEI-NU. BA-RUCH A-TAH ADO-NAI, NO-TEIN HA-TO-RAH. 23
THE HONOR OF HAGBA-AH This honor is an ancient custom of lifting up the Torah scroll so that the congregation can see the writing. Hagba'ah takes place after the Torah reading has been completed. Please come to the Bimah (pulpit) when the Rabbi calls you up. HOW TO DO IT: Using the proper technique is very helpful. Open the Torah scroll so that 3 columns of script are visible. Then 1. Grasp both of the handles (atzei chayim -- Trees of Life) and slide the Torah towards you until it is half-way off the table. Now you can use the table edge as a balance to help you push the scroll off the table. 2. Bend your knees. Push down on the handles, set your hands under the now vertical scroll, and lift upward as you straighten yourself up. 3. Holding the Torah high, turn with your back to the congregation, so that they can see the script. 4. The congregation will chant V zot HaTorah. You will then be directed to a chair, where you will sit down, still holding the scroll, so that it can be tied and dressed. 5. After it is dressed, hold the Torah until the congregation is told to rise so that the Torah can be returned to the Ark. Rise and give the scroll to the Rabbi. After the Torah has been returned and the Ark has been closed, please return to your seat. Please wear a tallit (prayer shawl) and kipah (head covering). 24
THE HONOR OF G'LILA This is the honor of dressing the Torah after it has been read and then lifted up by the person doing Hagba-ah. When you are called up to the Bimah (pulpit) please walk to where the person is sitting holding the Torah. First take the belt and place it around the Torah, tying or clasping it in the front of the scroll. Then put the Torah cover on, being sure that its front is to the front of the scroll. Then put on the breastplate (if any), then the Yad (pointer), again making sure that they are on the front of the scroll. Finally, put on the crowns (if any). Then return to your seat. Please wear a tallit (prayer shawl) and a kipah (head covering). The rabbi will be by your side throughout the G lilah process in order to assist you. 25
ASSIGNED PARTS FOR REFORM WORSHIP SERVICES (Jerusalem Shabbat AND Conservative Service honors can be found on page 28) PLEASE DISCUSS WITH RABBI AT LEAST ONE MONTH BEFORE THE SERVICE AND E-MAIL COMPLETED FORM TO THE RABBI AND SECRETARY AT LEAST TWO WEEKS BEFORE THE SERVICE. THE NUMBER OF ALIYOT SHOULD BE DECIDED THREE MONTHS BEFORE THE SERVICE IN CONSULTATION WITH THE RABBI OR TORAH TUTOR. Name of Child Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date FRIDAY NIGHT Candle Lighting English Name Relationship 1. 1. 2. 2. 3. 3. 4. 4. SATURDAY Open & Close Ark [If double these 6 need to be shared] 1A. 1. 1B. 2. 2A. 3. 2B. 4. 3A. 5. 3B. 6. 26
Passing the Torah (Grandparents to Parents to Child) 1. 1. 2. 2. 3. 3. 4. 4. 5. 5. 6. 6. Reading the Torah 1. 1. 2. 2. We would like the following persons remembered during the recitation of the Kaddish: 27
Name of Child Bar/Bat Mitzvah Date The Hebrew names must be completed for the Aliyot section. Hebrew name consists of person's first name plus his/her parents' first names (e.g. Shaul ben Yitzchak and Shoshana). Aliyot English Name Hebrew Name Relationship 1a. 1a. 1a. 1b. 1b. 1b. 2a. 2a. 2a. 2b. 2b. 2b. 3a. 3a. 3a, 3b. 3b. 3b. 4a. 4a. 4a. 4b. 4b. 4b. 5a. 5a. 5a. 5b. 5b. 5b. 6a. 6a. 6a. 6b. 6b. 6b. [If double, these two need to be shared] Hagba-ah 1. G'lilah 1. 2. Who will make comments to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah during Presentation of Tallit and/or during Passing of the Torah? Father? Mother? Both? PLEASE DISCUSS WITH RABBI AT LEAST ONE MONTH BEFORE THE SERVICE AND GIVE COMPLETED FORM TO THE CLERY ASSISTANT AT LEAST THREE WEEKS PRIOR TO SERVICE. THE NUMBER OF ALIYOT SHOULD BE DECIDED FOUR MONTHS BEFORE THE SERVICE. 28
PARTS FOR BAR/BAT MITZVAH SERVICE (JERUSALEM SHABBAT and CONSERVATIVE) Preliminary Service: Shacharit Service/Torah Service: Carrying Small Sifrei Torah: Ark Opening: Passing the Torah: Aliyot: 1. Aliyot: 2. Aliyot: 3. Aliyot: 4. Aliyot: 5. Aliyot: 6. Aliyot: 7. Maftir: Hagbah/G lilah: Second Ark Opening: Torah Reader: Torah Reader: Torah Reader: Torah Reader: Torah Reader: Torah Reader: Torah Reader: 29
BAR/BAT MITZVAH BIOGRAPHY FOR TEMPLE LOBBY DISPLAY Note: This information is to be filled out electronically and will be e-mailed to you in an electronic version approximately two months prior to your child s Bar/Bat Mitzvah. We would like to share in the celebration of your child s Bar/Bat Mitzvah by posting a short biography and picture of your child in the Temple lobby in the weeks preceding it. For your child to be included in the lobby display, please complete the information included below, and email a digital picture to: communications@tbesoc.org Child s Name: Name of Child s School (please provide FULL school name): Describe their Mitzvah Project: The organization they will give tzedakah to and why they chose to give to them: Hobbies/Interests: Grandparents names (Include first/last name, and city/state. Please be sure to indicate any deceased grandparents.) Any additional information you d like included: 30
TZEDAKAH: 1. Sukkah 49b: Rabbi Eleazar stated, whoever gives tzedakah and does justice is considered as though he/she had filled the whole world with loving-kindness. 2. Winston Churchill: We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. 3. Rabbi Moses ben Maimon, Maimonides, RaMBaM [1135-1204] a. "Even a poor person who lives entirely on tzedakah must also give tzedakah to another." (Mishnah Torah Chapter 7, Line 5) b. The Rambam identified EIGHT Levels of Tzedakah, or doing justice: 1. A person gives but is not happy when s/he digs into the pocket in order to give. 2. A person gives cheerfully, but gives less than s/he should. 3. A person gives, but only when asked by a poor person. 4. A person gives without having to be asked, but gives directly to the poor. The poor person knows he gave the help, and the giver knows who was benefited 5. A person gives a donation in a certain place, but walks away so that the giver does not know who received the benefit. The poor person knows the giver however. 6. A person makes a donation to a poor person secretly. The giver knows who was benefited, but the poor person does not know who the giver was. 7. A person contributes anonymously to the tzedakah fund which is then distributed to the poor. 8. The highest level of charity is to give money and help to prevent another person from becoming poor. For example, teaching a person a trade, finding them a job, lending money, teaching them to fish. 31
TORAH: Pirkei Avot -- Sayings of the Ancestors 1.1-1.2 1.1 Moses received the Torah at Sinai and transmitted it to Joshua, Joshua to the Elders, and the Elders to the Prophets, and the Prophets to the Men of the Great Assembly. They used to say three things: be patient in the administration of justice, rear many disciples and make a fence round the torah. 1.2 Shimon the righteous was one of the last of the men of the great assembly. He used to say: the world is based upon three things: the Torah, Divine service, and the practice of loving-kindness. C H A I N O F T R A D I T I O N Draw your own original chain of tradition from your family and put yourself in it. Include the traditions from your family -- these may or may not be Jewish, as we are the receivers of many kinds of traditions from previous generations. What traditions have you received? Which ones will you pass on to the next generation? What traditions will you create? Be as creative as you can. After completing your creative chain, discuss the following questions with your family: 1. What are the most meaningful traditions handed down to you from the previous generations? 2. Did you list any Jewish traditions? Why or why not? 3. Can you imagine what your life would be like if there had not been a chain of Jewish traditions? What would be the same about your life? What would be different? 4. In the Torah Moses says: And not with you alone will I make this covenant and this oath, but with those who stand here with us this day before Adonai our God, and also with those who are not here with us this day. [Deuteronomy 29:13-14]. Who else does Moses mean? Does he mean other nations? Does he mean you? How do you feel about this? 5. What will you do (or do you do already) with this information? 32
AVODAH: Avot v Imahot -- The Generations of Ancestors Praised are You, Adonai our God, the God of all generations: God of Abraham, God of Isaac, and God of Jacob; God of Sarah, God of Rebekah, God of Rachel and God of Leah... Questions: What does it mean to be God of all Generations? What does the prayer mean when it says God of Abraham, God of Isaac...? a. God Moses Joshua Elders Prophets parents you b. Abraham God Jacob Isaac How do you see yourselves fitting into each of these relationships as illustrated? Berachot 4.4/28b R. Eliezer says: if a man makes his prayers a fixed task, it is not a [genuine] supplication. Berachot 29b R. Eliezer says: he who makes his prayer a fixed task etc. What is meant by a fixed task? R. Jacob b. Idi said in the name of R. Oshaiah: Anyone whose prayer is like a heavy burden on him. The Rabbis say: Whoever does not say it in the manner of supplication (as if he were really asking for a favor). Rabbah and Rav Yoseph both say: Whoever is not able to insert something fresh in it. 33
TOP TEN TIPS FOR ENHANCING YOUR DAVENING EXPERIENCE 1. Consciously focus on slowing down your breathing. Be in the present moment. 2. Pray for the ability to pray. 3. Do teshuva; make peace with others before you seek inner peace. 4. Think of something/someone that you love. Get in touch with a feeling of gratitude. Look at something beautiful and awe-inspiring. 5. Shuckle- get your whole body into it. 6. Reflect on the meaning of the words; imagine that you are standing in God s presence. 7. Sing loudly and enthusiastically. 8. Take the time to express your own thoughts in your own words. 9. Allow time to listen and hear what God may have to say to you. 10. Feel connected to the congregation and to Jews around the world and across time. Pray for others and you will be heard yourself. 34
STRUCTURE OF JEWISH PRAYER SERVICE Birkot Ha-Shachar -- Morning Blessings [only in morning] thanking God for returning our souls after sleep blessing for daily miracles Note: the different parts of the blessings for body, mind, soul service are separated by a Kaddish P sukei D zimra -- Verses of Song [only in morning] songs of praise Psalms 145-150 Kabbalat Shabbat -- Welcoming the Shabbat [only on Friday evenings] Psalms 95-99, 29 L cha Dodi Psalm 92 (Mizmor Shir), 93 Shema and its Blessings [morning and evening service only] Call to Worship -- Borchu 1. Creation [nature/universal]; Ma-ariv Aravim [evening], Yotzer Or [morning] 2. Revelation/Torah/love [relationship/particular]; Ahavat Olam [eve], Ahava Raba [morn] SHEMA: three paragraphs [love, nature, history] 3. Redemption [history, memory]; G ulah [Mi Chamocha] [4. Divine Providence; Hashkiveinu -- only in the evening] Amidah or T filah [a.k.a. Sh mona Esrei; all services] three blessings of praise 1. Avot: merit of ancestors 2. G vurot: God s power 3. K dushah: God s sanctity thirteen petitions [4-9 personal, 10-16 communal] 4. knowledge 5. turning, repentance 6. forgiveness 7. redemption 8. health 9. year of prosperity three blessings of thanks 10. ingathering of the exiles 11. justice 12. slanderers 13. the righteous 14. rebuild Jerusalem 15. messianic redemption/davidic reign 16. hear our prayer 17. worship 18. thanksgiving 19. peace Individual supplications are sometimes added here On Shabbat, Festivals and Holy Days, the thirteen intermediate blessings are replaced with one blessing regarding the holiness of the day, K dushat Hayom. Torah Service [on Mondays, Thursdays, and Shabbat] [the conservative and orthodox movements add musaf on Shabbat and festivals (another version of the Amida with special blessing for the additional offerings brought to the Temple when it stood.)] Concluding prayers Aleinu l shabei-ach/let us praise, mourner s kaddish, closing song 35
WHAT S NEXT? Register for all teen programs (Tzedakah Board, Madrikhim, etc.) here: a soulful place for friends, fun, and becoming the leader you were meant to be. A SUPPORTIVE PLACE TO BE WHO YOU ARE BESTY s primary value is that at all of our events, you feel like you can be yourself. We know that it high school, there is a pressure to try to fit in and to be liked. Our teen leadership board, youth director, and rabbis are deeply committed to creating an inclusive space where your unique presence and contribution is appreciated. A SOULFUL PLACE The unique opportunity of a synagogue community is a place to explore what is meaningful and important in life. Our BESTY teen leadership board will pick a handful of topics that our teen community wants to explore and will offer some fun events with our warm and spiritual rabbis to discuss. Our Shabbat Club experiences in our youth lounge and at people s homes are informal environments for singing and celebration. A FUN PLACE Whatever fun activities you envision, we can make a reality. Everyone month, we ll come together for an evening in our youth lounge, various weekend activities, including include Broomball overnights, professional sport outings, Yogurt and a Movie, our infamous Club night, and many more... A PLACE FOR LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT Many teen programs are places to just places to connect socially and hang out. Our perspective is that teens have an important contribution to make to our synagogue community and the wide world. BESTY is unique in that our core programming fulfills middle and high school community service requirements. In both the 8th Grade Tzedakah Board and 9th-12th Grade Teen Leadership Program, teens learn the skills necessary to transform vision into action, supported by the wisdom of our Jewish tradition. 36