School Bullying Workshop March 3, 2009 (Word) SCHOOL BULLYING BY DR. MOHAMMED SALEH EDUCATIONAL CONSULTANT Dr. M. Saleh 1 Contents at a Glance 1. Definition 2. Types 3. Reasons for Bullying 4. Feelings Involved 5. Role of Parents 6. A Word for the Victim 7. A Word for the Bully 8. Presentation Foundations 9. The Storey of the Pink Shirt Day Dr. M. Saleh 2
1 Definition Dr. M. Saleh 3 What is bullying? Bullying is deliberate and hurtful behavior repeated over time. Dr. M. Saleh 4
2 Types Dr. M. Saleh 5 TYPES OF BULLYING 1) Physical Bullying Hitting Kicking Taking Things Returning Things Damaged Dr. M. Saleh 6
2) Verbal Bullying: Name-Calling Taunting Insulting Dr. M. Saleh 7 3) Emotional Bullying: Shunning Spreading Nasty Gossip Dr. M. Saleh 8
Dr. M. Saleh 9 3 Reasons Dr. M. Saleh 10
SECONDARY REASONS Color of skin The way they talk Their size Their name They look like they won t stand up for themselves No reason at all Dr. M. Saleh 11 PRIMARY REASONS Lack of Self-Confidence. Lack of Respect. Lack of Self-Esteem Dr. M. Saleh 12
4 Feelings Involved Dr. M. Saleh 13 FEELINGS OF CHIDREN WHO ARE BEING BULLIED: Lonely Unhappy Unsafe Frightened Dr. M. Saleh 14
FEELINGS MAY DEVELOP INTO: Stomach Aches Nightmares Nervousness Anxiety Dr. M. Saleh 15 5 Role of Parents Dr. M. Saleh 16
10 Things Parents Can Do: (1) Accept your child reports about the school and take them seriously. Dr. M. Saleh 17 (2) Reassure your child that this situation can be resolved. Dr. M. Saleh 18
(3) Let your child know that you do not think this is his / her fault. Now, your child feels like a victim. His / her confidence has taken a big hit. Dr. M. Saleh 19 (4) Don t help your child by solving his problem. Teach him / her the skills of standing up for himself. He can use them in other situations. Dr. M. Saleh 20
(5) Ask your child to give you a daily update of the bullying situation. Discuss what actions you can both take to solve the problem. Dr. M. Saleh 21 (6) Teach your child to respond to a bully in a bold and assertive way. Dr. M. Saleh 22
(7) Practice with him / her at home by role-playing. Dr. M. Saleh 23 (8) Suggest to your child to stick with two or more children wherever he comes face-to-face with the bully. Dr. M. Saleh 24
(9) Tell your child it is OK to ask for help from a teacher or other adult. Practice together at home. Dr. M. Saleh 25 (10) Check to see that your child has healthy friendships with other children. Dr. M. Saleh 26
(11) Encourage your child to invite friends to your home and participate in school activities. Dr. M. Saleh 27 (12) Meet with the school administration to discuss the problem. Keep all options open. Dr. M. Saleh 28
(13) Teach your child to stick up for himself and others. Help him / her to support justice any where. Dr. M. Saleh 29 6 A word for the victim Dr. M. Saleh 30
THINGS YOU CAN DO IF YOU ARE BEING BULLIED: Stay with a group of friends Ignore the bully Tell the bully to stop Walk away whenever the bullying starts Tell an adult you trust; adults can do things to stop bullying You have the right to be safe Dr. M. Saleh 31 7 A word for the bully Dr. M. Saleh 32
What you are doing is not fair You are taking advantage of people Treat others the way you like to be treated In Islam making fun or picking on people is haram A Muslim is the person from his tongue and hands people are safe Bullying is cruel not cool. Dr. M. Saleh 33 8 PRESENTATION FOUNDATIONS Dr. M. Saleh 34
الحجرات 49:11 ي ا أ يه ا ا لذ ين ا م ن وا ل ا ي س خ ر ق وم من ق و م ع س ى أ ن ي ك ون وا خ ي ر ا من ه م و ل ا ن س اء من نس اء ع س ى أ ن ي ك ن خ ي ر ا م ن ه ن و ل ا ت ل م ز وا أ نف س ك م و ل ا ت ن اب ز وا ب ال ا ل ق اب ب ي س الا س م ال ف س وق ب ع د ال ا يم ان و م ن لم ي ت ب ف ا و ل ي ك ه م ال ظال م ون Dr. M. Saleh 35 49 Al-Hujurat 11 O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): Nor let some women laugh at others: It may be that the (latter are better than the (former): Nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nicknames: Ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness, (to be used of one) after he has believed: And those who do not desist are (indeed) doing wrong. Dr. M. Saleh 36
Lessons from Al-Hujurat No to laughing at each other, the order is given to men and women, boys and girls, individuals and groups. No to defaming each other No to being sarcastic to each other No bullying Dr. M. Saleh 37 الروم 30 :22 و م ن ا ي ات ه خ ل ق ال سم او ات و ال ا ر ض و اخ ت ل اف أ ل س ن ت ك م و أ ل و ان ك م إ ن ف ي ذ ل ك ل ا ي ات لل ع ال م ين Dr. M. Saleh 38
Ar-Rum (The Romans) 30:22 And among His Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the variations in your languages and your colors: verily in that are Signs for those who know. Dr. M. Saleh 39 Lessons from Ar-Rum DIVERSITY AND EQUALITY OF CREATION Dr. M. Saleh 40
Diversity: Fruit Dr. M. Saleh 41 Diversity: Vegetables Dr. M. Saleh 42
Diversity: Animals Dr. M. Saleh 43 Diversity: Fish Dr. M. Saleh 44
Diversity: Birds Dr. M. Saleh 45 Diversity: Trees Dr. M. Saleh 46
Diversity: People Dr. M. Saleh 47 الزمر 39:62 الل ه خ ال ق آ ل ش ي ء و ه و ع ل ى آ ل ش ي ء و آ يل Dr. M. Saleh 48
Az-Zumar (The Hordes) 39:62 Allah is the Creator of all things, and He is the Guardian and Disposer of all affairs. Dr. M. Saleh 49 Lessons from Az-Zumar Allah is the only Subject and all of us are His objects. When you criticize the object, you also criticize the Subject. Dr. M. Saleh 50
Al-Israa 17:36 And pursue not that of which you have no knowledge; for every act of hearing, or of seeing or of feeling (in the heart) will be questioned (on the Day of Reckoning)... و لا ت ق ف م ا ل ي س ل ك ب ه ع ل م إ ن ال سم ع و ال ب ص ر و ال ف و اد آ ل أ ولي ك آ ان ع ن ه م س و ولا Dr. M. Saleh 51 Lessons from Al-Israa Don t spread any news you are not sure of. Check out all news before repeating them. Don t say I saw and you didn t see. Don t say I heard and you didn t hear. Don t say I know and you don t really know. In the Day of Judgment, you will be asked by ALLAH about the use of your eyes, ears and heart. Dr. M. Saleh 52
6 الحجرات 49 يا أيها الذين امنوا ان جاءآم فاسق بنبا فتبينوا أن تصيبوا قوما بجهاله فتصبحوا على فعلتم نادمين O ye believe, if a sinner comes to you with any news, Ascertain the truth, lest Ye harm people unwittingly, And afterwards become full of resentence for what ye have done. Dr. M. Saleh 53 More Lessons from Al-Hujurat Verify the news before you spread them especially when they come from sinners. If you don t ascertain the truth, you will harm people. If you spread false and incorrect news, you will have only yourself to blame. Dr. M. Saleh 54
حديث Hadith المسلم من سلم الناس من لسانه و يد ه The Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand, people are safe. Dr. M. Saleh 55 PEACE BE UNTO YOU, AND THE MERCY OF ALLAH AND HIS BLESSINGS. السلام عليكم ورحمة االله وبرآاته Dr. M. Saleh 56