THEY RE REWRITING MY LIFE By Jerry Rabushka All Rights Reserved Heuer Publishing LLC in association with Brooklyn Publishers, LLC ISBN: 978-1-60003-824-2 The writing of plays is a means of livelihood. Unlawful use of a playwright s work deprives the creator of his or her rightful income. The playwright is compensated on the full purchase price and the right of performance can only be secured through purchase of at least one (1) copies of this work. PERFORMANCES ARE LIMITED TO ONE VENUE FOR ONE YEAR FROM DATE OF PURCHASE. The possession of this script without direct purchase from the publisher confers no right or license to produce this work publicly or in private, for gain or charity. On all programs and advertising this notice must appear: "Produced by special arrangement with Heuer Publishing LLC of Cedar Rapids, Iowa." This dramatic work is fully protected by copyright. No part of this work may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without permission of the publisher. Copying (by any means) or performing a copyrighted work without permission constitutes an infringement of copyright. The right of performance is not transferable and is strictly forbidden in cases where scripts are borrowed or purchased second hand from a third party. All rights including, but not limited to the professional, motion picture, radio, television, videotape, broadcast, recitation, lecturing, tabloid, publication, and reading are reserved. COPYING OR REPRODUCING ALL OR ANY PART OF THIS BOOK IN ANY MANNER IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN BY LAW. PUBLISHED BY HEUER PUBLISHING LLC P.O. BOX 248 CEDAR RAPIDS, IOWA 52406 TOLL FREE (800) 950-7529 FAX (319) 368-8011
THEY RE REWRITING MY LIFE A Ten Minute Dramatic Monologue By Jerry Rabushka SYNOPSIS: If you re a fictional character, you pretty much live the same story over and over. But what happens when the author tries to rewrite it? What if he writes out your girlfriend or takes away some important parts of your life on the grounds that they re no longer relevant to your story? On the plus side, maybe in the rewrite, mom won t be so distant. Maybe he can finally find out what happens next. An unusual ride as the character Tom starts to wonder what of his life will be saved, changed or deleted. CAST OF CHARACTERS (1 male) TOM (m)... 17 years old. AUTHOR NOTES Tom Douglas was the protagonist of my first novel. I took a look at it not long ago and noticed that a lot of the action needed to be rewritten. This monologue takes the point of view of the character, wondering what s going to happen to him and the people around him if his life is suddenly changed. 2
TOM: My name is Tom, and in the mind of the author I m a fictional character. I live in California. Burbank Los Angeles somewhere there up on a mountain. I m the main character in a book Jerry wrote when he was 17. (Explaining.) Jerry the writer of this monologue. I don t know if he knows, I know what he s planning. Seventeen is how old I am, in Los Angeles, in 1978. That s when the book ended, and after that, no one knows what happened to me. Jerry wants to rewrite, because if you read the book, you ll think that most of what happened to me isn t feasible even in fiction. Most people don t write great novels when they re 17, but they don t know it for a long time after. So my life as it s been is getting ripped away from me and changed out, like taking back underwear that doesn t fit. My mother s going to have a name; the author couldn t think of a name for her last time. You ll be the first to know it s Rosemary Douglas. You wouldn t think it would have been so hard. Tom, you don t want to be late for your sister s funeral! Oh, I remember her saying that. It s amazing the things you remember your mother saying even this many years later. I did want to be late. I wanted to miss the whole thing. My sister lived for five sickly years and all the money in the world and we had all the money in the world all that money couldn t save her. My dad was a bigot, so I can t repeat most of what he said, and about who. Those girls, they re all like that, or you know what the problem is with the British, or well we re British, so he never really said that. I had a girlfriend Kathy, and by the end of the book we were on the outs. But it s kind of like that movie Titanic. Leonardo s character, in real life, wouldn t be allowed up in first class. He would never have met Kate Winslet, and that made the whole movie bogus. Best picture, but bogus. My family was (As if this is a big deal.) T.T. Douglas and Company International Publishers, and we were rich. Kathy was working class and I met her in public school. 3
But, Jerry says I can t go to public school, because I m too rich. You weren t born into all this money to run around with those people! I can hear my father saying that. I ll have to meet Kathy some other way. Or I won t meet her at all. That s the thing about being rewritten. I ve had these same experiences since 1978. Same fights, same struggles, same happiness, and now I m not sure if everything I ve grown used to will stay with me. Kathy wasn t happy with me at the end. She said I got distracted. There are several characters speaking for the next few lines, make sure to make them distinct! (As Kathy.) You haven t called me in two weeks! Don t start the conversation with an argument! (As Kathy.) If this is how it s going to be! I don t know how it s going to be. Kathy. You better talk to me now, because next time around there might not be any Kathy. (As Kathy, talking to the author.) What s going to happen to me, Mr. Author? I ve been Tom s girlfriend for decades! You can t write me into oblivion for the sake of a few royalties and a plot line! (As the author, larger than life, perhaps looking down on the characters from above.) Oh yes I can, Kathy, and I will! I can t be sympathetic at the expense of the storyline. Perhaps we ll just downgrade you to occasional nuisance. That would make Dad happy. Wouldn t it dad? (As dad, disapproving.) I never liked her. I know you didn t, dad. 4
(As dad.) I never never ever ever liked her. I didn t want her in the front door. Not even in the back door, and especially not in the shed. I just didn t want her in your life. (Speaking to the audience, vs. Tom.) And now, in a rewrite, I m going to lobby to get Kathy ripped out of the story. I want Tom to date someone successful. Someone who can make Tom happy since he can t seem to do it on his own. (After a short pause to indicate a new section of the monologue.) Jerry had a dream about me. That s where I came from. In the dream I kissed Kathy in my dad s office and my dad didn t like it. But I was smiling. Then Jerry woke up, and the next year I got a book written about me. It was called Dreams. I know this shtick has been done before, the Six Characters in Search of an Author thing, where they re all complaining that they have to relive the same tragedy over and over every time someone does their play. But what about guys like me that lived it and then one day I ve got to un-live it? (Pause.) I had this friend Al. He was a British refugee from Uganda from 1972 or so. He was awesome looking and he had a way with ladies. You know the type. (As Al.) I got her phone number! Who is she? (As Al.) Hey big guy I don t know, I just met her five minutes ago, He was that type. He was 21. He was this type too, the pushy type. (As Al.) Hey big guy, you need to get a little more action, get a little more fun in your life. Al, I m only 17. (As Al.) Exactly! It s time you got started. 5
There was a night on the town with him I wanted to un-live, and now, from a literary perspective, I hear that all what happened that night might not be feasible. But it s an experience I should have so I can learn and grow out of it. Maybe life will be better in a rewrite. Maybe my father will be more understanding, my mother will be less distant, my friends less pushy. (As the author, with the same attitude as before.) It s just a different set of troubles, Tom. You ll get used to it. You ll get to achieve your destiny. Maybe this time you won t have to climb a mountain in Venezuela and meet that girl Maria and ruin her life like you did last time. (A little desperate.) But you can t take that away from me. For what? For your own ego? You think my life isn t good enough for you to share, but I m living proof. (As the author.) Not really. There s three copies of your story in existence. When we retype it, we ll have to update it. Not to this year, but to be realistic in 1978. I m not sure you can climb that mountain in a slum in Caracas without getting the stuffing beat out of you. I m not even sure you should go to Caracas. That s not how the story should end. (Trying to explain to audience.) There s a girl Maria who lives with her grandmother, and they re poor and miserable, and I make it all worse for everyone. So maybe it s a good thing if they never exist. Here I am, fighting with my own author for my own life. We did that even in the original book. We fought with our narrator. Stop picking on the Irish. Stop letting my dad say such horrible things. Get my mother off the harpsichord. (As mom.) I ll just play one more piece and we ll have dinner. 6
You said that six pieces ago! (This should get very emotional as it goes on.) Oh, my sister. She didn t have a name either, but I think they ll call her Mary Rose. From Rosemary. I wasn t late to her funeral. She was early. Maybe she could live longer next time. Maybe she could grow up. Some parents, they lose a child and their life is never the same. My mom and dad just forgot her. It s how they dealt with their pain. The book ended just a couple months before my 18 th birthday. It was on the mountain in Caracas with Maria, and stuff happened you re not supposed to know. I don t know now if that really happened, or if I just dreamed it. It was all in Spanish; here I was speaking high school Spanish to a girl in a slum under a Coca-Cola sign and now everyone wonders if that s realistic. It ll all come out in the rewrite. Maybe I ll finally learn what happens to me next. (As mom.) Tom, come in for dinner. You don t want to be late! Yeah Mom. Actually, I do! THE END 7
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