Live Be Your Best Self By Small and Simple Things are Great Things Brought to Pass Alma 37:6 It is so important that you take time for yourself, especially when things get tough! If you are not balanced, then how can you take care of everyone else around you! You, as the new wife and mother, will have many adjustments to make for the family and yourself. Make sure that you are doing the things that will feed your spirit and bring you balance and joy! Here are a few ideas that may help you to feel the balance and joy your life may need. 1. Personal Scriptures - Did you chews to read them today? Just schedule yourself at least ten minutes to do this, it will help bring the spirit to you and into your home. 2. Personal Prayer - Did you roll out of bed today and get on your knees? Make sure you take the time for prayer. You will get through your day feeling more inspired and for some reason I am always able to accomplish the things I need to for that day if I start it with prayer. 3. Church Attendance - Do not let a chip on your shoulder keep you from renewing your covenants and enjoying the blessings of your fellow members.
4. Temple Attendance - Have you bean to the temple? If you are privileged to be close to the temple, then you should make that a priority, go often! If you do not live close, then set a goal for you and your family to get there as often as you can. It is such a peaceful and beautiful place and will bring a lot of peace and comfort to you. Being in the temple will help you to make better decisions for you and your family. 5. Hobbies - This is a jolly time for you to enjoy your flavor of hobby whatever it may be! Scrap booking, sewing, reading, gardening, genealogy, golfing, any activity that gives you joy! Make sure you are doing things that make you feel happy or accomplished. Your hobby may bring you and another sister together, and it is always good to have friends around you. 6. Exercise - I mint to get some exercise in today! Many times this is low on the list of things to do, but if you can do this every day it is a great way to help yourself feel happy! There are many benefits to getting a little exercise in, even if it s a quick walk around the block. At times, people even loose weight or just get in better shape, but the endorphins exercise creates is great for lifting your spirits! 7. ME time - If you are not taking time for yourself, you could go nuts! Often these moments need to be scheduled, even if it is taking just ten minutes to meditate. If you can afford it, get a massage, manicure, or pedicure... just spoil yourself. These
moments can be talking with a friend or listening to some of your favorite music. Find the thing that brings you some peace, that is what your ME time is for! 8. Date Night - Did your honey get some time from you this week? I think in a blended family it can be more chaotic than even in a traditional family. Make sure you and your sweetheart husband get some time together, just the two of you. Believe it or not, there will be days you will wonder who you married and why you got married again. If you can take that one on one time together, you will remember the who and why s and then you will be able to get through another week together!
Laugh - Enjoy Your Journey You are on an Errand of Angels 1. Map - As you travel through your life as a blended family, there will be many ups and downs. Think of it as a map, that sometimes the road will be rough and slow as you travel up a steep and bumpy path. It may be a day where everyone is miserable and its all your fault that they are! This is a time of endurance! Just hang in there on those tough days, because without the tough days you can not enjoy the better days! On the road as you are coasting down hill, and all seems to be going well, the kids are all getting along and you may even like being around each other that day, appreciate it. Take these moments to show and tell the kids how great they are. These are the times they are listening. Let them know how much they are loved and what great members of the family they are!
2. Quilt - Stitched together in unity, picked apart you are divided! So much of how the kids act and react depends on how you as a couple act and react. If the kids think they can get in between you and cause a little trouble they probably will. Let them see you are united together in all things. Set goals together, make the rules together. Be sure you both do some compromising so that the rules work for both the families. This means that you may have to adapt to some new things and you may have to let go of a few things. Make sure the kids see you happy together and working together for the betterment of the whole family! You and your husband will have to be strong and determined after the rules and goals are set. Do not let the kids manipulate a situation, because it only takes one time for things to fall apart.
3. Puzzle - Are your pieces all there? There may be children who are with another parent, how will you handle that piece of your puzzle missing? It may be for long periods of time or it could be for short periods of time. The whole family will have to adapt to this. The rules that child has in the other parent s home may not be the same as in your home. Make sure when that child comes to visit, they know the rules are the same for them while they are with you. You will probably want to spend a lot of time with that child while they are with you. Try to do more family time together, rather than individual time so that child feels a part of this family. Are you puzzled by attitudes or personalities? Do not take them personally!! Its important that you allow the differences of each child. Remember this, they are Heavenly Fathers children first and you are the caretaker! If you clash with one of the children, work even harder to find something in common with them. If you serve them you will learn to love them. Try it, you will be surprised how quickly you will love that child!
Love - is Unconditional Thou shalt live together in love D&C 42:45 As a blended family, the concept of an Eternal Family takes on a different perspective sometimes. Most likely you will have your children ask questions that even you may not completely understand the answer. Search for answers in conference talks or scriptures. We know that when we die and return to our Savior, that somehow things will work out. The thing we most need to do is have Faith... faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and His plan for us. He knows us and our hearts and He will know just what to do with us when we are with Him again! In D&C 136:11 it discusses being blessed in our families. If we are doing the things the Lord requires of us then we will be blessed! As we read the scriptures, we find that most blessings we receive will be in the life after death, not on this earth. Is that not where are treasures should be anyway, is in the life after this mortal one? Be an example to our children just as our Savior is to us! These children we are raising are His children first and for most. We need to remember to love them and treat them as He would! This is where we need to exercise Faith and Love so that we have Patience. Add some Listening and Kindness so that we can give Compromise. With Prayer and Hard Work we will get Persistence. Finally, with Service and Compassion we will develop Respect for our spouse and all of the children. If we are an example of these things, then the children will seek after these things also. They will want to be more like you, even if it is years later.
Take the opportunity to apologize to your spouse and children as needed. It will show them that you do not think you are perfect. It will help them to understand you and respect you more. This does not mean that you get to be the doormat. Be firm when needed and give when needed. It will make a difference in the relationships you are trying to develop. Be an example of service. Service is Love and to Love is to Serve. The Savior served all, none were beneath him. We can be like that in our own homes! Mosiah 2:17 reads When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are in the service of your God. What better way to show our service to Him than by serving our family! Temple - Have a picture of the temple in your home and go to the temple often with your spouse. Be temple worthy, if you are not, set a goal to go to the temple together soon. This is a great example to let your children see how important the temple is to you. Proclamation of the Family - Retain a copy of this modern day prophesy. This proclamation has guidance for each member of the family and helps them to understand more what our standards are as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints! It will help them to see clearly the difference in what the world wants us to think and what our Heavenly Father wants us to think.
Family Home Evening - This is such a great opportunity for the family because it makes us stop and take time to be together. It is a time for learning, playing, and listening to each other! It has been proven that a family who eats together will stay together. How insightful are our prophets who have taught us for many years that it is important to have family time, meals together, family councils, and Monday night Family Home Evening! Scriptures - Make it a priority to read from the scriptures together as a family. The blessings and promises for doing this are huge! It will help your children to understand the stories in the scriptures and be confident in reading them. The words are different than the way we speak today and it will broaden their minds. It will sometimes be a source of contention to gather together, especially with teenagers. Endure the moans, one day they will be grateful that they were taught righteousness through reading the scriptures! Hymns - Music is a great way to learn. Music has many benefits, it may soothe a troubled heart, help you feel the Spirit, gain understanding, feel peace, make cheerful, and fun. Some of the hymns that stand out as helpful are: Did you Think to Pray, Love at Home, Families Can be Together Forever, When upon Life s Billows, There is Sunshine in My Soul Today. These are just a few songs that help me get through a day. You can find your own favorite hymns and have a few that help you when the day is rough.
Picture of Christ - Have a picture of our Savior in your home. Hang one in the family living area, in the kids rooms, in your room, anywhere the family will see it often. A picture will help the family remember to do what is right! The Savior died for us so that we may receive the blessings of the atonement. He is our advocate with our Heavenly Father. He will give us the strength to endure with joy this journey on earth! Help your children to know of Him, so they too will have a desire to live with Him again. In doing so, they will want to choose the right here on this earth! All these things will help any family, but a blended family needs to have things in common, things that will connect each other. The gospel is this one such thing. It is a foundation on which to stand together. If you are focused on teaching the gospel principles in your home, then you will find your family pulling together and working towards a single purpose. As a family, you will be living correct principles with the goal of returning to our Heavenly Father one day. As you read through all of these things I have given to help you, do not try to do it all at once. Remember line upon line, precept upon precept 2 Nephi 28:30. Pick a few things to improve on and set goals for you and your family. Do not get discouraged when everyday is not going as you planned it to go. Rarely will it go as planned, the purpose is to continue to improve yourself and do a little better each day. If there is a day that you completely fall apart, allow yourself that day, put it behind you and start over the next day. Our Heavenly Father wants us to find joy in this life. Do not beat yourself up over bad days, just learn from it and let it go so you can be your best self.