Making Big Decisions God s Way Principles For Making Big Decisions (Mar 6, 2011) Every day we make decisions. From the mundane what clothes do I wear today? to the important do I spend time in the Word? to the crucial do I marry, who do I marry? Some decisions are fairly easy to make others are very difficult. But we are not left without help. Over the next few months we plan on looking at some of the principles the Word of God provides for making the difficult and crucial decisions we all face. But tonight my task is to give you some of the general principles for making the big decisions. This sounds easy it is not. It is incredibly hard. Often there are several decisions which all seem good. Often the principles involved seem to clash. To help you with all of this, let me start out by asking you a question is there just one best path for us to live our life in the will of God? By this I mean every time we are faced with a decision is there from God s view a best, better and worst decision we can make? You are twenty-five years old. You are contemplating marriage and three choices keep coming to mins and they are driving you crazy. One option is staying single to serve God wholeheartedly but you want to get married and lust might be a problem. Or you could marry Becky great girl a Christian but ministry is something you are contemplating and Becky doesn t want to be a pastor s wife. Or wait for a girl as sold or for ministry as you. What do you do? 1
Is one of these the will of God for your life or could one, two or even all three be acceptable decisions before the Lord? First we need to talk a little about the will of God this nebulous term we through around. Theologians talk about the two wills of God. The decretive will of God. These is the things God decrees will happen and nothing can stop them from happening. For example Acts 2:23: This Man, delivered up by the predetermined plan and foreknowledge of God, you nailed to a cross by the hands of godless men and put Him to death. The death of Christ to save men was decreed by God and would happen. Scripture also speaks of what is called the preceptive will of God. These are the precepts, the principles that God gives us to live by but we can violate by disobeying. For example 1 Thessalonians 4:3: For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality. It is the will of God that we be pure sexually but we can violate this perceptive will of God. We can choose another path. It is these precepts, these principles God gives us we have to attempt to follow. Romans 12:2: Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. But, do these precepts these principles narrow done our choices in life to one path that we have to find or be outside the will of God? I want to suggest that Scripture never presents us as on a great hunt to find the one path for us to live. The godly men of the Bible are seen weighing up decisions going down what they believe is the best path but knowing that one of a number of paths is acceptable to God. For example Genesis 24 Abraham sends his servant back to his homeland to find a wife for Isaac. Listen to what he said. Genesis 24:6 8: 2
Abraham said to him, See to it that you do not take my son back there. The Lord, the God of heaven, who took me from my father s house and from the land of my kindred, and who spoke to me and swore to me, To your offspring I will give this land, he will send his angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there. But if the woman is not willing to follow you, then you will be free from this oath of mine; only you must not take my son back there. I believe God wants you to find a wife for Isaac from the God-worshippers in my homeland not the pagans here. But, if there is no godly woman who agrees to marry Isaac OK you are free from your obligation to find a wife for my boy. There was not just one woman who had to marry Isaac at all costs. There is not one will for your life. God has not decreed that you have to wear the black pants rather than the blue. Be a lawyer not an accountant. Marry Susan rather than Jenny. Have three kids not four. Having said this at times the precepts God gives us make our decisions easy. Should I sleep with my girlfriend or not? No God s Word has given the principle of keeping yourself pure. You can choose to violate it but you are then clearly outside the will of God. At other times it is not as easy. Susan and Jenny both great girls who love the Lord but is one the best decision for you as a Christian. God s Word does give us principles to help us here. If both are equally godly, godly counsellors say both are great girls, you pray and both seem great then just choose who you want to live with and once you marry her that is the will of God for you. So what help do we as Christians have to help us in making the big decisions? There are three primary aids we have today to help us make wise decisions. First and foremost there is His Word. 3
2 Timothy 3:16 17: All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. One of the main tasks of Scripture is to guide. To give us light and direction in making the decisions of life. Psalm 119 is a Psalm about the Word and guidance. Psalm 119:105: Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. That is why we have to read and memorise and know and treasure the Word. Psalm 19:7 11: The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes; the fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; the rules of the Lord are true, and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb. Moreover, by them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward. There are worldly counsellors, gossip columnists, the friend at work all willing to offer advice. But it is the counsel of the Lord that we need to heed. 4
Psalm 1:1 2: Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. The Bible gives us principles that we can use to make decisions in any area of life. A second help for decision making is godly counsel. Ephesians 4:11 14: And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Colossians 3:16: Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom. Wise, godly men and women are a gift to the church to help us make decisions that will honour the Lord. When the decisions are tough go to godly counsellors. Go to parents, pastors, shepherds, wise men and women who know the Word. Seek their counsel. 5
Don t go to the person who will tell you what you want to hear. Go to the one who will tell you what you need to hear. A third help for decision making is prayer. Colossians 1:9: We have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, Prayer is a gift from God to help us as we study His Word and meditate on His will for our lives. We pray for divine wisdom to guide us through His Word and servants. These are the three main aids to help us navigate through the decisions of life. However, when you read the Bible there are also other non-normative ways that God has guided his people in the past. I call these non-normative because they are not normal for every age. They are ways the Lord has used from time to time but we should not seek to use them as guidance in this time in history. These include prophecy. In certain ages the Lord sent prophets men and women who were given direct revelation from God to guide His people. This could be God speaking directly through the prophet, God writing, speaking through animals or other means. But even then this was a rare occurrence and the normal way of guidance was still the Word, godly counsel and prayer. Today, prophecy is not normal for the church. Ephesians calls prophets those who laid the foundation of the church rather than being normal for every age. Hebrews says that in times past God spoke through prophets but with the coming of Jesus His definitive Word has been spoken. 6
There are those who claim to be prophets today you heed their counsel at great risk. I met with a couple a few years back having marriage difficulties and I soon wondered how they ever ended up together so I asked them. They told me that after a church service an elder told them he had a prophecy they should marry. They had nothing in common were very different didn t really even like each other but who were they to oppose the will of God so they married. It was a disaster. While some churches teach God guides through direct revelation today we do not hold to this. Similar is guidance through visions, dreams, the Spirit speaking and so on. In Acts 16 Paul had travelled from the east and the Spirit had told him not to go to south to Asia so he planned to go north into Bithynia but the Spirit stopped him and then a vision called him wets to Europe. Again that is a form of prophecy and not normal today. Another non-normative way God guided from time to time was through signs. Gideon s fleece the Apostle s casting lots. But again these were a form of prophecy and not normal for today. You should not seek signs. Oh Lord if it is sunny tomorrow I will take it as Your will that I am to marry Susan. Don t lay out your fleeces that is not how God leads you. Another area some Christians claim as a way in which God guides today is circumstances. If things happen that point to a decision it must be from God. This is incredibly dangerous. Our hearts are fallen and wicked. We can find circumstantial evidence to support any decision we want to make then tell ourselves it is the will of God. I am praying for a wife. Then at work I meet this girl who is gorgeous, she is a Christian barely but she is so good looking she will certainly get godlier. So I pray God if you want me to have this gorgeous creature as my wife make it clear. Then the guy in the next desk says hey have you seen the new girl you should ask her out a sign. Then she smiles at me another very clear sign. Then my mother asks me met any nice girls dear? a sign if ever there was one. 7
It can t all be co-incidence God is clearly telling me to marry this girl. Or I pray about missions and three people mention the needs in Vietnam again it can t be co-incidence God is telling me to be a missionary in Vietnam. Take great care. Scripture does not tell us that God guides through circumstances. We can find a message from God in just about any set of occurrences. This is not how the Lord guides His people. Another area some Christians claim for guidance is an inner witness. A feeling in their gut. A sense of God s leading. Again this is not in Scripture and our fallen natures can be easily led and manipulated. We can find a way to sense the will of God in any decision without it coming from the Lord. I do not want to take the work of the Spirit and the leading of God out of decision making. But the normative ways God works is that we pray for wisdom, we seek counsel, we find the principles in His Word and we use these tools to discern His will. Having said all of that decision making is often quite difficult. Why? Because in most decisions there are several principles involved and often they clash. Let me give you an example I had. A new Christian came with this question. My mum doesn t want me going to church should I go or not? Principle 1 Obey your parents. Principle 2 Do not forsake the assembling together as a church. What do you do? This clash of principles occurs again and again. If I ask you is it right to save a life where possible I suspect you will say yes. If I ask you is it wrong to take a life I suspect you would agree that it is wrong to take life. But, what if an expectant mother is dying? Would it be morally acceptable to have an abortion that will kill her unborn child in order to save the mother s life? 8
A serious question with two conflicting principles that are both important. Here is another example. Exodus 1:15-16: Then the king of Egypt said to the Hebrew midwives, one of whom was named Shiphrah and the other Puah, When you serve as midwife to the Hebrew women and see them on the birthstool, if it is a son, you shall kill him, but if it is a daughter, she shall live. These women have a really tough decision to make. What are the principles involved. Principle 1 Obey your rulers. Principle 2 Do not murder. Then throw in the fact their lives are at risk. Add other principles such as do not murder. Here is what the Hebrew midwives did. Verses 17-20: But the midwives feared God and did not do as the king of Egypt commanded them, but let the male children live. So the king of Egypt called the midwives and said to them, Why have you done this, and let the male children live? The midwives said to Pharaoh, Because the Hebrew women are not like the Egyptian women, for they are vigorous and give birth before the midwife comes to them. So God dealt well with the midwives. And the people multiplied and grew very strong. They decided to disobey Pharaoh and then to lie to him about it. While pretty much every theologian agrees the midwives should not have killed the boys what this passage teaches us about decision making when principles clash is hotly debated. Among evangelicals there are many schools of how to make decisions when biblical principles clash. But there are three main views. Because theologians named them the names are near impossible to understand but I will see if I can simplify them. The first school of thought is: 9
1. Conflicting Absolutism (or Lesser Evil approach) Key Idea: When two or more biblical principles conflict, take the lesser of two evils. You still do wrong but because of the situation it is forgiveable. Proponents: Erwin Lutzer; H. Thielicke; E. J. Carnell, J. W. Montgomery, J. I. Packer. In other words no matter what decision you make if you violate a biblical principle you sin. So you should decide what the lesser sin is but then you have to ask God s forgiveness. For example disobeying your ruler and lying is a lesser evil than costing someone their life but by disobeying Pharaoh and lying they still sinned. 10
2. Graded Absolutism (or the Greater Good approach) Key Idea: There are many biblical principles that are ordered on a scale ranging in importance. When two or more biblical principles conflict, choose the greater of two goods. Because of the situation keeping the higher norm means you do not sin. Proponents: Norman L. Geisler, John Jefferson Davis, Millard J. Erickson, John and Paul Feinberg. This view teaches that God has built a hierarchy into His Law such that some laws supersede other laws when there is a conflict. Examples of the hierarchy in Graded Absolutism are: Love of God is higher than Love for Man Matt. 22:36-38; Luke 14:26 All else being equal if you are an adult and your mother says you can t go to church and fellowship with Christians you have to tell her you love her but in this case you have to love God more. Jesus came to put a sword between families. Obey God is higher than obey Government Rom. 13:1-2; Titus 3:1 Exod. 1; Dan. 3, 6; Acts 4-5 In other words when there is a conflict in biblical principles the greater principle takes precedent and in obeying this you please God. 11
3. Non-conflicting Absolutism (or Unqualified Absolutism) Key Ideas: There are many biblical principles which never actually conflict. Each principle covers its own area of human experience and it never really conflicts with another absolute principle. Proponents: John Murray, Charles Hodge, Walter Kaiser, John Frame. In other words whenever there seems to be a conflict in biblical principles, we have it wrong. God will not put us in situations where his commands conflict. For example, if you were sheltering Jews in your home in Nazi Germany and the Nazi s came to your door, it would not be unethical to tell them where the Jews are hiding if there is no other alternative. But, it would be wrong to lie. Our task is to tell the truth. God can still miraculously protect the Jews if He wants to and if they are harmed you are not to blame the Nazi s are. You don t kill them so you are not failing to show love for your neighbour. There is always a way to keep all the biblical principles. So let s see how these three schools of thought handle the midwives lying to Pharaoh. Conflicting Absolutism (or Lesser Evil approach) says that in this case, disobeying Pharaoh and lying is a lesser sin than failing to protect the life of your neighbour. The midwives should not kill the boys and they should lie to protect the further lives. But since disobeying and lying is still wrong the midwives have to admit that they had done wrong, repent, and ask God for forgiveness. God praised the women, not for their disobedience and lying, but for their faith in choosing the lesser of two evils and doing the best they could in such a tough situation. Graded Absolutism (or the Greater Good approach) says that God commends them for disobeying Pharaoh and lying. They chose the right option lying to Pharaoh meant they would save more lives. Because in this situation the greater command is the protection of human life. Non-conflicting Absolutism (or Unqualified Absolutism) says that in the case of the midwives, they should not kill the boys but they were wrong to lie. A lie is always a sin and can never be justified. They should have remained silent or told the truth. In this case the fact that God honoured the midwives was not because of their lying but because of their faith. It would have been even better if they had chosen not to lie. If that led to more deaths then they would not have been held responsible because they were not the ones that killed them. That sin would rest upon the Egyptians Why did I go into all of this and probably totally confuse you? 12
If you look at the names involved in these three views you may or may not recognise these names but I tell you these are some incredibly godly and biblical men. It is not as if one view is clearly right and the others are wrong. Depending on the view you take at times your decision will be different. At times the counsel you get from godly men will differ depending on how they make decisions and which principle or principles they rate higher. I personally believe that the framework that fits Scripture best is graded absolutism. When you look at how the Bible itself handles these potential conflicts it seems clear that there are some principles that carry greater weight. Consider Acts 4. The Sanhedrin the ruling Jewish body hauled in Peter and John and told them not to go around sharing about Jesus. And we know that we are to obey governing authorities. But Jesus had commanded them to share the gospel. So what did they say? Acts 4:19-20: Peter and John replied, Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God s sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard. Obeying God saving the eternal souls of men this principle comes first. Or what about these verses Luke 14:1-6. 13
This comes after a series of confrontations when Jesus would heal on the Sabbath and be criticised for doing work on the Sabbath day. We read: One Sabbath, when Jesus went to eat in the house of a prominent Pharisee, he was being carefully watched. There in front of him was a man suffering from dropsy. Jesus asked the Pharisees and experts in the law, Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath or not? But they remained silent. So taking hold of the man, he healed him and sent him away. Then he asked them, If one of you has a son or an ox that falls into a well on the Sabbath day, will you not immediately pull him out? And they had nothing to say. They would work to save the life of an animal on the Sabbath so why not heal a man since the Sabbath was created for man not man for the Sabbath. It seems to me that when principles conflict decide what is the highest principle and follow that. So let me sum this up. You are faced with a decision. What do you do. You pray and you turn to the Word. In many cases the decision is fairly straight forward the Bible addresses it there are no conflicting principles you know what you should do. If there are conflicting principles weigh them what is the big principle? Seek godly counsel. And then if the decision is still not clear then run it through some questions like these. Will it profit me spiritually? 14
(1 Cor. 10:23) All things are lawful, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful, but not all things edify. Will this decision build me up spiritually, draw me closer to Christ, make me a more useful servant? Do I attend homegroup or play tennis on Wednesday? Both have merit. Neither is unbliblical. But perhaps one builds you up spiritually. Will it cause a brother to stumble? (Romans 14:13 19) Let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. Will my decision offend a brother or cause them to stumble? For most of us, the Bible is clear Christians can drink alcohol but not get drunk. But many godly brothers believe we should not drink alcohol at all. So you might choose not to drink so they won t be offended over you. When you have someone with this view in your home you might choose not to flaunt your liberty by having a wine with your meal. Will it bring God glory? (Matthew 6:33) Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (1 Cor. 10:31) Therefore, whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God Is my decision putting God first or me first? Is it seeking His kingdom first or is it seeking all the other things? Does it glorify God. Do I choose the profitable job but with huge hours so I never see my family or do anything for the church or the less profitable job where I am more available for family and ministry? If you run your decision through all of these filters the Bible, prayer, godly counsel, edifying questions and the decision is still unclear then usually you can choose either and be confident that is acceptable before the Lord. 15
These are the principles. Next week we begin to put them into practice and we begin with The Big Decision of Marriage or Singleness. But may our Lord guide us to make godly, edifying decisions unto His glory. 16