Date: 23/24 April 2016 Character Focus: Forgiveness Small Group Leader s Guide Theme: Forgiveness Lesson 3 of 4 I will not cover my own wrongs but will be quick to ask for forgiveness. Series Overview We are starting on our new series on the character value of Forgiveness. Forgiveness means letting go of feelings like anger, sadness, or frustration that happen when you or someone else makes a mistake. It s saying Thank you or That s okay when someone apologizes and not staying upset about what they did. It s having patience with yourself and others, and recognizing that no one is perfect everyone makes mistakes. It s letting go of hurt feelings, and moving ahead, ready to do things. It doesn t mean that all of a sudden what someone did doesn t hurt or isn t wrong. Forgiveness is not ignoring wrong, setting aside standards of truth and virtue, or excusing that person who hurts you from the responsibility for wrong actions. It means that you find it in your heart to give the person another chance. When you are able to forgive someone from your heart first and let go of the grudge, you will gradually be able to forgive in deeds and actions. Those who find it hard to forgive are often those who see themselves as if they do not need forgiveness from others. They might also find it hard to ask for forgiveness and tend to be rigid and critical of others. Teaching a child in the area of forgiveness will help them to experience God s forgiveness and be less critical of themselves and others and be more accepting of themselves and of others and learning not to bear a grudge. The children will learn to demonstrate forgiveness through the 4 I will s namely:- 1. I will be quick to forgive because God has forgiven my sin 2. I will be quick to forgive and respond kindly to those who hurt me 3. I will not cover my own wrongs but will be quick to ask for forgiveness 4. I will not seek revenge or take up other people s unforgiveness Copyright 2016 by GKidz, FCBC Page 1
Memory Verse Put up with one another. Forgive one another if you are holding something against someone. Forgive, just as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13 (NIRV) Bible Passage: Genesis 33 Jacob sought forgiveness from Esau Introduction We are going to teach the children on the values of the heart Forgiveness. There will be 4 lessons on Forgiveness. Date Lesson Character Action Point/ Bible Passage Family Devotion 9/10 April Lesson 1 16/17 April Lesson 2 23/24 April Lesson 3 30 April/1 May Lesson 4 I will be quick to forgive because God has forgiven my sin. Matthew 18: 21 35 Parable of the Unforgiving Servant I will be quick to forgive and respond kindly to those who hurt me. 2 Samuel 9 David responded kindly to Mephibosheth, the son of a wicked king who wanted to kill him. I will not cover my own wrongs but will be quick to ask for forgiveness. Genesis 33 Jacob sought forgiveness from Esau I will not seek revenge or take up other people s unforgiveness. Genesis 37-50 Joseph forgiving his brothers Forgive S more take home activity child to share what they have written on the various forgiving hearts. Parents to share their personal journey in forgiveness. Disciple their child using the Benefits of Forgiveness framework. - Receive God s forgiveness (Mark 11:25) - Purify our hearts (1Jn1:9) - No grudge or revengeful spirit (Prov 24:29) - Leads to healing (Matt 9:6) I feel safe and not being judged worksheet - child would feel safe to share their wrongs and ask parents for forgiveness. Enlarge the safe place to school and to GKidz Parents read the story of Joseph forgiving his brothers to the child. Discuss Joseph s way of handling unforgiveness Copyright 2016 by GKidz, FCBC Page 2
CONNECT / ICEBREAKER Hot Seat (15 mins) Objective: This simple game is to allow the children to say out any 3 things that come to their minds which are related to the topic or category you name. The idea is to warm up the children to speak out and also to select topics which are related to the wrongs which are common amongst this group of children. How to Play: Leader to select 1-2 children to come to the front and sit on the Hot Seats. The leader would shout out the category or topic which they want the 1-2 children to name 3 related things. Example Topic Apple, children can shout out Fuji, Red, Green, Fruit, Juicy, NTUC, Seeds, Isaac Newton, etc. When the child has named 3 related things, he can stop. If the thing has been mentioned by the one of the children, the other child cannot shout the same thing. Leader has to be alert to the things which are shouted out and to highlight repeats. Leader to end the ice breaker by playing the last round using the topic Forgiveness Topic/Category: Apple, Rainbow, Dinosaur, Kung Fu Panda, Night Safari, Teacher, Bully, Shameful acts, Naughty, Forgiveness (last topic) Leader: Children, we have been learning about forgiveness and how important it is for us to forgive quickly and to respond kindly even though the person who wronged us is not sorry for his/her mistake or for hurting you. What about if you are the person who has done wrong towards someone, would you be quick to ask the person to forgive you? Or, would you cover your wrong and hide until it is discovered then you own up? Will it be too late? Let s turn our attention to this video and later we will go through a Bible story to help us understand further. PLATFORM VIDEO (15 mins) TLs to arrange a fixed timing during Leader s Briefing. TL to cue all the leaders, 2min before a prior arranged time, to end ice breaker, before starting this video Be quick to forgive Duration 6:48min. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cg_wlyun_hw TL: Children, in this video Douglas was quick to receive forgiveness from his friend for breaking his friend s remote control car. At first, Douglas tried to cover his mistake of the broken toy? But, eventually he realized the best thing he could do was to own Copyright 2016 by GKidz, FCBC Page 3
up and ask his friend for forgiveness. The feeling of being forgiven felt so good. However, Douglas failed to reciprocate his friend s forgiveness by forgiving his younger brother when his brother similarly asked for forgiveness for breaking his video toy. Now, in your small group, your leader will share with you a classic Bible story of a pair of twin brothers who found it hard to forgive each other. CHARACTER REVIEW (5 mins) The 4 I Will s chart will be provided Leader: It is possible to be quick to forgive because God has given you. What is Forgiveness? Forgiveness is clearing the record of those who have wronged me and not bearing a grudge. There are 4 ways to practice Forgiveness:- 1. I will be quick to forgive because God has forgiven my sin 2. I will be quick to forgive and respond kindly to those who hurt me 3. I will not cover my own wrongs but will be quick to ask for forgiveness 4. I will not seek revenge or take up other people s unforgiveness Today we will learn and apply the third I will that is, I will not cover my own wrongs but will be quick to ask for forgiveness We will study a man who ran away from his brother after he had stolen something from him. And instead of asking for forgiveness quickly, he ran away from home for many years and eventually God spoke to him and he decided to go back to his brother and asked for forgiveness. Let s see who is this pair of siblings from the Bible. BIBLE STORY (20 mins) Genesis Chapter 33 Jacob asked his brother Esau for forgiveness Let s turn to Genesis 25: 31-34, 27: 34-41, Chap 33. Using the Forgiveness Pack framework Who, What and When, the leader will guide the children to discover the story of forgiveness between Jacob and Esau. Write out WHO, WHAT and WHEN on the whiteboard as you unfolds the story by getting the children to turn their Bibles to the passages. Copyright 2016 by GKidz, FCBC Page 4
Bible Passages: 1. WHO Genesis 27: 31-34 Jacob wronged his older twin brother Esau twice. 2. WHAT Genesis 27: 31-34 Jacob stole two things from Esau - his birthright (inheritance of livestock and land) and oldest son s blessing. 3. WHEN Genesis 25: 31-34, 27: 31-34 Jacob s name is translated as Deceiver. He deceived Esau once when he was hungry and stole his brother s birthright. The second time, he deceived their father, Isaac and pretended to be the oldest son, Esau and received his father s blessing which is only passed on to the oldest son. DISCUSSION QUESTIONS 1. How did Jacob deceive Esau the first time of his birthright? (Ans: He made Esau a bowl of soup and demanded a payment which Esau agreed to pay with his birthright) 2. Did Jacob ask Esau to forgive him? 3. When was the second time Jacob deceive his brother Esau? What was it he stole from his brother? (Ans: He stole his brother s blessing which only the oldest son was entitled to) 4. If you are Esau, would you be very angry with your brother and feel like killing him? Read Genesis 27: 36-41 5. Did Jacob ask his brother for forgiveness or own up his wrong to his father? What did he do instead? Read Genesis 27: 43 45 (Ans: Jacob ran away and avoided asking his brother for forgiveness and he was wrongly advised by his mother that when his brother s anger has subsided, Jacob will be saved) 6. Eventually, God gave Jacob a dream that he had to go back to his ancestors home, and Jacob knew he had to walk into his brother Esau s land. What did Jacob have to do? (Ans: Chap 33 Jacob had to ask his brother for forgiveness and his brother Esau hugged and kissed him. It was a good reconciliation) Copyright 2016 by GKidz, FCBC Page 5
Summary for leaders: It is important that when we have done something wrong to somebody, whether it is intentional or unintentional, we must be quick to ask for forgiveness. It is wrong to think that when somebody is no longer angry, they will forget about the wrong and it abdicates us or sets us free from our personal responsibility and integrity of asking for forgiveness. Asking for forgiveness from someone whom we have wronged is to seek reconciliation and healing of a broken relationship and the action of forgiveness shows that we are sincerely wrong and we owe the other person an apology for the wrong. Leader to say: Jacob avoided asking his brother for forgiveness for 20 years. Eventually, when God commanded him to go back to his ancestor s homeland, he had to pass by his brother Esau s town, Edom and he had no choice but to seek forgiveness. Children you do not have to wait for 20 years to seek forgiveness. Learn to ask for forgiveness as soon as the Holy Spirit or your conscience reveals to you the wrong you have done. MINISTRY RESPONSE (10 mins) Logistics: Twine string, and small pieces of papers (GKidz to provide) Preparation: Set up your Forgiveness Corner; create an atmosphere of ministry time. Leader: As you close your eyes, pray in tongues and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you family members, friends or even GKidz friends whom you know you need to ask for forgiveness. Jacob had to ask his brother for forgiveness out of no choice and it was God s grace that He created an opportunity. You have a choice now. First, you ask WHO you need to ask for forgiveness? WHAT did you do to wrong this person? WHEN was it? There are pieces of papers here, I want you to write down the WHO<WHAT<WHEN. Write your name at the back of the paper. After you have written down, hang it here. We will wait for as many of you to finish, then we will pray. Leaders to wait for 5-10 min and pray this prayer to close the session. Dear God, I want to be quick to admit my wrong and seek forgiveness from the person I have wronged. I will not cover my mistake and I want to be set free Copyright 2016 by GKidz, FCBC Page 6
from guilt and shame for hiding my wrong and from the person whom I have wronged. Please forgive me and help me to be humble and ask the person for forgiveness. I receive Your forgiveness even as I confess my sin of hiding my wrong from You and from the person whom I have wronged. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen. Leader to collect all the hanged papers and read them while the children are doing their worksheets. Ask you read over what the children had written, share with your TL and GKidz pastor how you plan to help your children to confess their wrong to the person whom they have wronged. APPLICATION ACTIVITY (10 mins) Logistics: Who do I feel Safe to Own Up My Wrongs Worksheet (GKidz to provide) Leader: Children, it is very courageous of you to write down those people whom you have wronged and you plan to ask for forgiveness. I will be going through what you have written as you do this worksheet. Some of these people whom you need to ask for forgiveness may need your leader or GKidz pastor to help you mediate because some of the wrongdoing could be more complicated and need another adult to help you. Leader to flag out to TLs and GKidz Pastor about complicated or difficult cases. Example of difficult case Child has repeatedly stolen from friend in class or parents loose change at home. Need to manage discreetly with TL or Pastor speaking to parents first. REVIEW MEMORY VERSE (10 mins) Memory Verse: Put up with one another. Forgive one another if you are holding something against someone. Forgive, just as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13 (NIRV) Leader to go for MV Drill as you help the children to memorise it. Choose from the following ways to drill: 1) Solo Child to come up and recite to the whole group 2) Duet Two children to take turn to recite one word at a time until they finish Copyright 2016 by GKidz, FCBC Page 7
the whole MV 3) Trios Break MV into 3 parts and each of them recite one part in the MV order. Parent s Toolkit (5 mins) Remind the children to do these at home with their parents. 1. Go through pages 19-27 of Booklet C Values of the Heart, Character Development Parents Toolkit. 2. Go through Week of the Star Action Chart and earn as many stars as you can. References 1. Character First Education Series 1, Booklet 7 Copyright 2016 by GKidz, FCBC Page 8
Copyright 2016 by GKidz, FCBC Page 9