Stealing Another s Self-Respect R. Yaakov Bieler Parashat VaYikra, 5769 Just as it is challenging for an individual to find personal meaning in the latter Parashiot of Sefer Shemot that focus upon the design and construction of the Tabernacle and the garments worn by the Priests while engaged in the Divine Service, a similar difficulty presents itself with regard to the numerous Parashiot in Sefer VaYikra that focus upon the myriad details regarding sacrifices, a ritual activity that we can only imagine but at least to date have never directly experienced. For this reason it is important to be on the lookout for commentaries that are able to bridge the gap between our experience and quest for spiritual meaning, so that our weekly public Tora reading experience can maximally be significant for each of us. I came across one such interpretation for a section of Parashat VaYikra in R. Eliezer Brody s Tora commentary, Pi HaBe er. 1 Regarding the verses that describe how restitution can be made if one has deprived another of property that belongs to that other person, the Tora writes: VaYikra 5:21-6 A person who sins and trespasses against God and denies his friend s (truthful claim) regarding something that had been left in his care to guard or which was a loan or that was stolen (by him) or that he oppressed his friend in order to obtain it. Or he found a lost object (belonging to the friend) and he denies having it, and he swears falsely regarding anything that a person might do to transgress, And it will be when he wishes to atone his sin either by a sin or guilt offering, and he returns the stolen object that he stole, or the object that he had obtained by oppression or the object that had been left with him to guard, of the lost object that he found, Or anything about which he had sworn falsely, and he will repay the principal and its fifth he will add to it to the individual to whom the object actually belongs he will give it on the day of his repentance for the sin. And his guilt offering he will bring to God, a perfect ram from the flock according to the value of a guilt offering, to the Priest. And the Priest will atone for him before God and he will be forgiven for the one thing that he did that incurred guilt R. Brody associates the following Talmudic passage with the above section of Parashat Tzav, shedding new light on the concept of thievery: 1 Ashdod, 5761, p. 208.
Berachot 6b Said R. Chelbo, said R. Huna: One who knows regarding his friend that he is accustomed to greet him, should anticipate that greeting and greet him first, as it is said, (Tehillim 34:15) Seek out peace and pursue it. And if he offers a greeting (first) and he (the other) does not return it, he (the other) is called a Gazlan (thief.) Whereas most people do not engage in overt and criminal thievery, suddenly introducing the manner in which we either acknowledge or ignore others whom we either are acquainted with or are seeing for the first time as another manifestation of taking something illegally from another, makes the Tora passages in question much more immediate and offers serious food for thought. R. Broyde then quotes his teacher, Rabbi Naftali Asher Yeshayahu Moskowitz, the Shotz- Melitzer Rebbe, to the effect that a thief is one who steals the joy of life from another. The commentator then reflects upon the adverse psychological effects that arise when a person does not greet another, in effect stealing his joy of life : : He (who does not return his fellow s greeting) adversely affects the other s self- image, implying that the latter is not worthy of being part of a relationship. Furthermore, the self- confidence of the individual has been attacked and stolen, for he now is upset and worried. What is wrong with me that people do not wish to return my greeting? and his heart aches. And even further, the refusal to return a greeting constitutes an attack on the Holy One, Blessed Be He, because it is a course act of arrogance, and whomever engages in self- aggrandizement, is stealing the garb of HaShem, about Whom it is stated, (Tehillim 93:1) The Lord Reigns, He is clothed in majesty. 2 Finally, R.Brody directly incorporates a factor from VaYikra 5:25, where we learn that restitution for the stolen object consists of the principle together with a monetary fine of a fifth, 3 into the equivalence between stealing property and stealing a greeting. He posits that the manner by which the transgression of not having returned a greeting is atoned, should not only be by means of properly offering a greeting the next time that the offended individual is encountered, but by deliberately adding to the greeting s warmth by a hand shake or wave, thus augmenting the response with the involvement of one s five fingers! And as for the offense against God, it can be made up by means of studying the Five Books of 2 Whereas God can deservedly, so to speak, expect to be revered and looked up to, this is not the case for a human being, even one of high social rank or who occupies high office. Of man, God Expects humility, as exemplified by Avraham in Beraishit 18:27, or Moshe in BaMidbar 12:3. 3 In actuality, you add ¼, which with respect to the final sum becomes 1/5. See Bava Metzia 54a.
Moshe, and making sure to take more seriously in the future the statement in VaYikra 19:18, And you will love your neighbor as yourself. 4 Whereas the passage in Berachot 6a focuses upon the obligation only to respond to a greeting, 5 this does not mean that Jewish tradition does not consider initiating a greeting to everyone one meets a standard after which ideally we all should strive: Avot 4:15 R. Masya ben Cheiresh says: You should be the first to greet every Adam 6 Berachot 17a A favorite saying of Abaye was: A man should always be subtle in the fear of Heaven, (Mishlei 15:1) A soft answer turns away anger, and one should always strive to be on best terms with his brethren and his relatives and with all men, even the non- Jew on the street, in order that he be beloved above and well- liked below and be acceptable to his fellow creatures. It was related of R. Yochanan ben Zakai, that no man ever gave him a greeting first, even a non- Jew on the street. While some may think that to deprive someone of an emotional feeling or a sense of personal significance is not literally thievery, but at most a metaphoric turn of phrase, two rigorously Halachic discussions in the Talmud bear out the idea that when we make another feel good, it is actually giving him a gift of objective value. And if such an emotion is deemed to constitute real worth, then the converse is also valid, i.e., in the event that we withhold such feelings when it is within our purview to enable another individual to experience them, then we are actually taking something of value from him, an act of stealing. Megilla 26a With regard to a synagogue that has been made a gift, there is a difference of opinion between R. Acha and Ravina, one forbidding it (to be used for non- holy purposes) and one permitting. The one who prohibited it believed that there was nothing upon which the holiness 4 Just as one would never wish to be snubbed after offering a greeting to someone, the same should be true with regard to returning another s greeting. This also becomes an opportunity to embody Hillel s explanation to a potential convert regarding what the essence of the Tora: What is hateful to you, to the next person do not perpetrate! (Shabbat 31a) 5 The individual is directed to issue a greeting only to one who normally greets him, implying that if you encounter someone who normally does not greet you, you don t have to greet him. 6 The term Adam (man) generally makes no distinction between Jews and non-jews, and therefore would apply to all human beings equally.
could be transferred. 7 The one who permits such a gift believes that if the giver did not receive pleasure from the act of giving, he would not have done it, so in effect the gift was analogous to a sale, (i.e., something is derived by the giver, the pleasure of giving, to which the holiness of the synagogue can be transferred.) Kiddushin 7a Rava stated: If woman declared, Here is a Maneh (currency), and I will become betrothed to you, Mar Zutra ruled in R. Papa s name: She is betrothed. (This is a striking pronouncement since the standard understanding of betrothal is that the bride gives herself to the groom in exchange for something of value from him. Today, that gift is the ring presented by the groom to the bride under the Chupa (the bridal canopy.) The Talmud struggles to understand how the Amoraim quoted could justify a procedure that reverses the process.) Here the reference is to an important man (the groom.) In return for the pleasure that she derives from his accepting a gift from her, she gives herself to him. 8 In both of these instances, the pleasure of the gift giver that comes about when the recipient agrees to accept the gift is treated as something of value with regard to holiness being transferred to it, or effecting a marriage relationship. And while in these two examples there was nothing forcing the gift giver to send these gifts to 7 In cases like redeeming something belonging to the Temple (Hekdesh) for non-holy uses, when money is given to the Temple, the holiness that had been residual in the object being redeemed is conceived as transferring to the money, thereby leaving the object without holiness. In the case of a gift, the view that prohibits making a gift of a synagogue, opines that there is nothing comparable to money upon which the holiness of the building can be transferred. 8 I believe that I first came across these two references within the context of an essay by R. Chaim Shmulevitz, Rosh Yeshiva of Mir in his book, Sichot Mussar 5731-3 (5740.) However, I have been unable to locate the exact reference. I do remember that the application to which he applied the issue of the deprivation of pleasure as thievery was to a classroom where if the teacher has properly prepared and presented his material, should the students refuse to participate and learn, they are stealing from the teacher the pleasure of teaching Tora to which he is entitled! Proceeding in a similar homiletic vein, I believe that the same could be said with respect to those who come to the synagogue, and rather than engaging in prayer or following the Tora and Haftora reading, they opt to talk to their neighbors or even read books, including Tora texts. If the intent is that in the synagogue an encounter between the individual and God is to take place (it is to engender such a mood that many synagogues display above the Ark the line, Know before Whom you are standing ), then when a person undermines this possibility, is he not depriving God, so to speak, from the pleasure of His Creatures worshipping and listening to His Tora? See my article on Fear of God and Prayer in ed. Marc Stern, Yirat Shamayim: The Awe, Reverence and Fear of God, Yeshiva U. Press, New York, 2008, pp. 185-230. See my article "Fear of God and Prayer". While an apparent counter-example could be cited from Shabbat 127a, that interprets Beraishit 18:3 as Avraham, who was in the midst of a Divine Revelation, asking God to Wait for him while he tends to the needs of the three passersby, leading the Gemora to state: Said R. Yehuda in the name of Rav: Greater is the welcoming of guests than receiving a Divine Revelation, as it is stated (Beraishit 18:3) one could imagine that guests travelling through the desert might be literally dying of thirst or hunger, hardly a claim that one could make regarding the individual sitting next to him in the synagogue to whom some information is being passed, greeting extended, or joke shared.
another, with respect to Berachot 6a cited above, since the other person already extended the initial greeting, he is legally entitled to the pleasure engendered by a positive response, and depriving him of it becomes thievery! Perhaps part of the reason why R. Brody s interpretation made such an impression upon me was because during the course of the Shiurim I have been giving this year on Elisha ben Avuya and his colleagues, we had recently been focusing upon Yevamot 62b s account of a terrible ordeal that involved R. Akiva: They said: R. Akiva had 12,000 pairs of students, from Gabbatha to Antipatris, and all of them died at the same time because they did not treat one another with respect and the world was desolate While such a calamity would be terrible were it to happen to anyone s students, it seems to me that R. Akiva in particular must have been devastated in light of his association with the following verse: Talmud Yerushalmi Nedarim 9:4 (VaYikra 19:18) And you will love your neighbor as yourself R. Akiva says this is the most important rule in the entire Tora. In effect, the Talmud implies that R. Akiva s myriad students all missed the point that we might imagine their teacher thought that he had taught and modeled, i.e., that love and respect for another is crucial if one purports to learn Tora and live a Tora lifestyle. How does a teacher feel and what does he do when he sees that he has not successfully imparted one of his most dearly held values, leading to either the literal or metaphorical 9 destruction of his students? 10 11 This past week s New York Jewish Week (March 20, 2009) brought news of a new initiative with regard to the promulgation of Jewish ethics, such as the issue of properly interacting and relating to others, to an ever wider audience over the 9 Could the students deaths be understood in a manner similar to the language in Avot 3:7: R. Shimon said: An individual who is walking in the way and learning, and then interrupts his learning to say, How beautiful is this tree! How beautiful is the view! the verse treats him as if he is Mitchayev BeNafsho (forfeited his soul.) 10 Of course, we are not necessarily aware of the relative chronology of these two sources. Could it be possible that R. Akiva first became a devotee of VaYikra 19:18 only after he suffered the tragedy of the deaths of his students? 11 Intriguingly, the Talmud in Yevamot continues: until R. Akiva came to our teachers in the south, and taught them: R. Meir, R. Yehuda, R. Yosi, R. Shimon and R. Elezar ben Shamua, and they were the ones who erected the Tora. At least two ideas suggest themselves from the continuation of this Talmudic passage: a) R. Akiva substituted quality over quantity. Perhaps with such a mass of students spread across such a vast distance it was difficult to have a personal relationship with each of them and assure that the proper lessons were being learned. Dealing with a smaller number with whom more intense relationships could be forged was a better formula for success. b) Rather than being discouraged, R. Akiva continued to teach Tora and attract students, hopefully correcting his miscalculations of the past.
internet. In an article entitled, Jewish Ethics on Facebook, 12 Steve Lipman describes a new Facebook group called The Jewish Ethics Project (this web site). It was intended as a follow- up to Rabbi Joseph Telushkin s recent book, A Code of Jewish Ethics: Vol. 2 Love Your Neighbor as Yourself (Bell Tower, New York, 2009.) The group is presented each week with a dilemma eliciting discussion and ultimately leading to the study of the position(s) taken by Jewish tradition regarding the issue at hand. Rabbi Telushkin s campaign to familiarize more and more people with Jewish thought has also resulted in Volumes I and II of Rabbi Telushkin s writings being sent to me as well as hundreds of other Rabbis, educators, and individuals associated with Jewish institutions and communities, made possible by the Jesselson family in honor of the memory of Ludwig Jesselson. Here are two examples from these books that could contribute to not only our not stealing joy from others, but the enhancement of our own experience and those closest to us: The Unknown Mitzva of Lashon HaTov The Hebrew term Lashon HaRa refers to negative, critical speech about others. Maimonides proposes, 13 in effect, the the precise opposite, Lashon HaTov, good speech in which we praise others and relate anecdotes that show them in a good light 14 It would appear that what is being called for when we advocate Lashon HaTov is something beyond returning, let alone initiating a greeting. Whereas with regard to greetings, we are dealing with interactions between two people who are in each others presence, types of give and take that at least at times are more a matter of social convention than indications of true affection and admiration, when one talks about another s virtues when he is not there to hear the praises, this constitutes so much more of a purer form of care, respect and even love. It would be wonderful if one level could lead to the next, i.e., friendly verbal greetings, physical demonstrations of high regard, and finally unsolicited, pure positive praise. A passage in R. Telushkin s first volume on Jewish ethics at first glance deals not with how to relate to someone else, but rather how we should regard and inspire ourselves. One of the best- known prayers recited on Yom Kippur is the confessional prayer known as the Al Chet. For the sin I committed by On this day, Jews confess repeatedly to 44 different transgressions. The awareness of how many sins we routinely commit can, however overwhelm some of us with a sense of guilt and despair. I suggest, therefore, that we can focus on the good things we do, and the good things we can do. Hence the following titled For the Mitzva we 12 See this article in the Jewish Week. 13 RaMBaM, Mishneh Tora, Hilchot De ot 6:3. 14 Joseph Telushkin, A Code of Jewish Ethics: Vol. 2 Love Your Neighbor as Yourself, Bell Tower, New York, 2009.p. 28.
Performed is a suggested reading for the Yom Kippur service, which can be read aloud by a congregation or recited and studied individually. 1. For the Mitzva we performed by remembering the good someone did for us even when we were upset with him or her. 2. For the Mitzva we performed by stopping our child from teasing or humiliating another child or using a hurtful nickname. 3. For the Mitzva we performed by standing up for justice when we saw someone mistreated 5. For the Mitzva we performed by remembering to express gratitude to anyone who helped us... 8. For the Mitzva we performed when we gave food or money to someone who said he was hungry 15 The concept that in addition to our taking responsibility for all sorts of transgressions, many which we would never dream of perpetrating, but which nevertheless taken place somewhere within our community, we should also remember positive things that we have done on behalf of one another, provides a fuller and more accurate picture of our mutual interactions. But I would argue that in addition to mitigating the downer aspect of Yom HaKippurim when we repeat over and over how terrible our behaviors have been, the listing of positive Mitzvot also offers something to aspire to. Even if some of these statements presently apply to others rather than to ourselves, why not resolve on Yom HaKippurim to strive to incorporate as many of these positive values and actions into our own lives so that next year, the list becomes a more accurate reflection of where we are at spiritually and socially. A smile and a wave may not be much when compared to greater and more pressing issues; however as a sign of community, mutual respect and friendship; exchanging greetings is a first step followed hopefully by many more, all intended to make our lives together more pleasant, affirming and satisfying. 15, A Code of Jewish Ethics: Vol. 1 You Shall be Holy, Bell Tower, New York, 2006, p. 191.