The Experience of Grief
Broken Relationships Disability Single parenting Loss of Career Loneliness A Challenging Child Unplanned pregnancies Long-term illness Experiences of Grief Declining Health Tragedy Loss of birth family Abuse Death of a dream Infertility Divorce A Bad Marriage Singleness Loss of a child Lack of Material Provision
Emotions that Emerge: Guilt I am responsible Shame I am a failure. Anger I don t deserve this. Regret What if and If only Assigning blame to self, to others, or to God
Emotional Pendulum I am responsible for everything, "I am responsible for nothing. "I want you, I hate you "I need you, I can trust you "I am overwhelmed, I feel nothing Result: Constant self-doubt, feeling crazy, and circular struggle to figure life out.
Why Me? Our Danger: Allowing our circumstances to shape our view of God Story of Job: Though You slay me, yet will I trust you. Job s circumstances did not shape his view of God: His view of God shaped his circumstances.
It is Well With My Soul
What is the Message You Receive? Paul s thorn in the flesh We attach messages to our sufferings. How will we listen to? Will I believe the lies of the devil or my own fears? Will I believe God s character and goodness?
God Allows Loss Trials fall on the believer and unbeliever alike. However, God promises to use it for good in the life of the believer. He promises to deliver me from the evil of it. Evil, loss, grief has no ultimate victory in the life of the believer; it may have temporal rule, but never victory. In the end, victory is given to the believer.
Who God is in Suffering He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men Lamentations 3 We are often taught to accept only good from the hand of God and are woefully unprepared for the storms he allows.
Jesus Understands His suffering is deeper than ours. (Gen. 15, Is. 53) His suffering transforms our suffering. (1 Peter) Jesus comes near to the sufferer. We are His and He is ours. He covers our shame; He is our covering. He remembers what was done to us. (Hab. 1-2) He will never leave us (Hebrews 13) He calls us to trust Him. (Hab. 1 & 2, Is. 16:4)
Your Identity in Suffering You are a child of the Living God You are a pilgrim following a good shepherd You are a responder, you have a choice to make You are a sinner; you will be tempted You are an alien in a foreign land this is not your home
You Can't Separate Hope from Suffering It gives us a vision for eternity Hope points us in the right direction. We don t live for the external. Our ultimate vision is for the eternal. Suffering produces the purification/ refinement.
2 Corinthians 4:7-17 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. Therefore, do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light & momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, what is unseen is eternal. "
Resources in the Body of Christ Don t be an isolate. Surround yourself with support & accountability. It is often not a luxury, but a necessity Look for support for yourself and family support groups, accountability, counseling Be willing to be weak & humble. Ask for prayer, help, company. Commit to pouring out your suffering to God. No thought of lament, or emotion is too difficult for Him to handle.