February GIFT Called To Forgiveness Home Session Can you think of one movie or book or story that you heard that was about forgiveness? What did you learn from that story? This year we have been spending time thinking about how we are called by God in our every day lives. We can be called to something such as called to help someone else. We can also be called from something like when we are called to do something different than we expected. There are so many ways we are called all throughout our lives. Today, we will think about how we are called to forgiveness. Forgiveness can be hard, but it is important for the world and for each one of us. And, if we ask God to help us to forgive each other, it is always possible. Peace is always possible. Today, we will think about God s forgiveness and our call to forgive others. Opening Prayer Begin in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Let us pray. Merciful Father, you love us no matter how many times we offend you. Help us show that same kind of forgiveness to one another, truly and from the heart. We ask this in Jesus name. Amen. Read this story from Gospel of Luke The Parable of the Lost Son Jesus continued: There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, Father, give me my share of the estate. So he divided his property between them. 1 Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe 1
famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. When he came to his senses, he said, How many of my father s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants. So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. But the father said to his servants, Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. So they began to celebrate. Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 Your brother has come, he replied, and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound. The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, Look! All these years I ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him! My son, the father said, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. Discussion Questions: 1. In this Gospel story, how is the father like God? 2. Why do you think the Father celebrates when his son returns? 3. Why do you think the Father forgave the son? 4. How do you think the son felt when his father forgave him and even celebrated his return? 2
Just like in this Gospel story, God is always there to forgive us when we are sorry. God comes out to meet us and welcome us back. One of the most important lessons Jesus taught was that we, as his followers, are to forgive each other. Sometimes it is very hard to forgive someone who has hurt us. 3
Activity 1 Why Forgive? 1. Watch the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxfdchyckya 2. After the video, discuss these questions: 1. What did you like or think about the video? 2. Why did the son leave his father? How do you think the father felt? 3. Do you think God always forgives? Why? 4. Do you think it is important to say we are sorry when we did something to hurt someone? 5. Do you think forgiveness can be hard? Why? 3. Why should we forgive others and seek forgiveness for ourselves? Because Jesus says so, the Bible says so, the Catechism of the Catholic Church says so, and because it s good for us! We are surrounded in advertising with ways to improve everything possible about ourselves, usually on the outside. Forgiveness and reconciliation can make us healthier on the inside. Create an advertisement that helps us on the inside. On the next page, read through some of the reasons we should forgive. Next, create an advertisement about why we should forgive. Try to be convincing that forgiveness is important! 4
Why We Should Forgive! We forgive because Jesus taught us to We may say the Our Father so quickly at times that we gloss right over the words, And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Jesus also shared several stories about forgiveness to illustrate the importance of this holy and sacred activity. In addition to the Prodigal Son that we heard, you might remember the story of Zacchaeus. Even when he was dying on the cross, Jesus forgave. We forgive because the Catechism of the Catholic Church says so! Confession frees us and helps our reconciliation with others. A person looks at the sins he is guilty of, takes responsibility for them, and opens himself to God and to the communion of the Church in order to make a new future possible (CCC 1455). We forgive because it is good for us! Human nature and psychology reinforce the idea that forgiveness is good for the soul. According to Katherine Piderman, Ph.D. of the Mayo Clinic, letting go of bitterness and grudges, creates healthier relationships, greater spiritual and psychological well-being. 5
Activity 2 Forgiveness in our Family Discuss and answer: How does your family say, "I'm Sorry", when you hurt one another? Do you... Just get mad when things go wrong and walk away? YES NO SOMETIMES Sit down and talk about what just happened? YES NO SOMETIMES Just hope everyone involved forgets about it? YES NO SOMETIMES Shake hands and make an agreement? YES NO SOMETIMES Take time each week to talk about how things are going? YES NO SOMETIMES Write a letter of apology? YES NO SOMETIMES Say a prayer asking for forgiveness? YES NO SOMETIMES Hide out in your rooms until the storm passes? YES NO SOMETIMES Leave each other notes of forgiveness? YES NO SOMETIMES Make sure no one goes to bed angry with someone? YES NO SOMETIMES
Read: Jesus Forgives How many times do we need to forgive those who hurt us? Read this Gospel story to find out: Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, if my brother keeps on sinning against me, how many times do I have to forgive him? Seven times?" "No, not seven times," answered Jesus, "but seventy times seven, because the Kingdom of heaven is like this. Once there was a king who decided to check on his servants' accounts. He had just begun to do so when one of them was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. The servant did not have enough to pay his debt, so the king ordered him to be sold as a slave, with his wife and his children and all that he had, in order to pay the debt. The servant fell on his knees before the king. "Be patient with me,' he begged, "and I will pay you everything!' The king felt sorry for him, so he forgave him the debt and let him go. "Then the man went out and met one of his fellow servants who owed him a few dollars. He grabbed him and started choking him. "Pay back what you owe me!' he said. His fellow servant fell down and begged him, "Be patient with me, and I will pay you back!' But he refused; instead, he had him thrown into jail until he should pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were very upset and went to the king and told him everything. So he called the servant in. "You worthless slave!' he said. "I forgave you the whole amount you owed me, just because you asked me to. You should have had mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you.' The king was very angry, and he sent the servant to jail to be punished until he should pay back the whole amount." And Jesus concluded, "That is how my Father in heaven will treat every one of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart." (Matthew 18:21-35) What would you say to Jesus' question: Will you forgive your parents, brothers, sisters, friends? Write your response here. 7
Try It! -- Forgiving Forgiving is hard work but it's what Jesus call us to do as we love one another. Here are some situations you might find yourself in. If you were going to practice real forgiveness, what choice would be the best one? Circle the best choice for each. 1. Your brother (sister) takes one of your toys or games without asking and accidentally breaks it. Would you: a. Yell at him, call him names, and maybe even hit him. b. Try and explain to him how what he did hurts you. 2. Your parents want you to help with chores, but you have been invited to your friend s house. Would you: a. Get real mad and throw a fit. b. Explain to your parents that you would like to go to your friends house and still help with the chores. Is there a way to do both? 3. You write one! 8
Activity 3 Forgiveness in Our Lives Watch the video and then discuss the questions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnkpesbto9s&feature=youtu.be 1. Do you think it is hard to forgive a bully? (Remember, forgiving does not mean excusing it or saying it is ok to bully) 2. Do you think people who have bullied someone are ever sorry they did it? 3. Have you ever forgiven someone who hurt you? Was it hard? 4. Have you ever wanted to be forgiven? 5. How does it feel to be forgiven? 6. How does forgiveness help mend relationships? A forgiving heart means that there is a desire within you to let go of the hurt or the grudge you are holding onto. If you are seeking forgiveness it is also important that you have a sincere desire to do better or to change the action that is causing the hurt. As Catholics, the Sacrament of Reconciliation readily comes to mind when we think of seeking forgiveness. This sacrament is too often lost in our current Catholic culture. Sometimes we avoid celebrating this sacrament out of fear, but more often it is procrastination, lack of familiarity, or laziness. But taking the time to reflect on our lives, admitting our weaknesses and guilt, asking forgiveness from God through the human act of confessing to a priest, and having the tangible words of forgiveness said to us is both healing and freeing. It not only helps to put us in right relationship with God but it can also help in our desire to cultivate the forgiving heart that is necessary for our other relationships as well. Here are four things to know about forgiveness Forgiveness does not have to be immediate. Sometimes the hurt is deep and we need time to heal and to cultivate that desire in our hearts to let go of the hurt. 9
Forgiveness does not excuse another person s behavior. The behavior is still wrong. It simply means that you no longer hold that person as an enemy. Forgiveness does not require forgetting the offense or feeling kindly. Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. It is about the individual who has been hurt letting go and freeing themselves from the pain. It is not necessarily about the other person. Forgiveness is not for wimps it is a sacred and holy activity! When we are able to forgive someone the next question is; can we take the deeper step of reconciliation? Can we restore to friendship or harmony that which has been damaged? There are times when it would not be safe to restore the relationship but that doesn t mean we can t release the hurt and free ourselves from the pain. Do we really forgive our enemies? Criminals? Those who aren t sorry for what they ve done? This is where it s important to remember that forgiveness does not excuse wrong doing or require us to forget what happened, and forgiveness is about our own hearts and health. Hopefully it is a step toward reconciliation but regardless it is a step toward healing. Closing Prayer Let us pray: Forgiving God, we ask you to help us forgive when we have hurt each other and to be willing to make amends. Help us to live our call to forgive others, and to always be attentive to your call in our lives. We pray this through Christ our Lord, Amen. Let us pray together the prayer that Jesus taught us, Our Father.. We close our time of prayer in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. 10