RELATIOINS BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN The Islamic Perspective for Muslim Youth growing up in North America
Islam Religion Vs. Way of life Islam is a complete way of life that encompasses all aspects of one s personal and social life. As such, this divine code of life applies to everyone irrespective of time and place. One of the most important aspects of this code of life is its emphasis on our social obligations.
Love Our need to love And to BE loved
In the beginning There was Adam (a) Then there was Hawa (a)
Commandment One of the first commandments to Adam: Adam, live you and your wife in the Garden. (2:34) Note: Allah did not say that Adam should live there with his girlfriend, friend, or just a woman. He said to Adam that he should live there with his WIFE. no lust but a role of husband that comes with responsibilities.
Clarification Contrary to popular belief LOVE DOES EXIST IN ISLAM!!! But in defined parameters
Love Defined The believer is an embodiment of Love, and there is no good in a person who does not love and who is not beloved It is part of human nature: Innate Feeling Natural phenomenon Do not be afraid of love, but be afraid of what direction you LET your love lead you
Factors of Love Marriage/Love is a blessing from Allah. Qur an uses the word libaas (2:187) or Garments Protectors Companions Friendship
Disillusionment of Love Loss of the true essence Disillusionment Infatuation-Lust
Societal Influences Movies Music Non-Muslims/Muslim friends Norms of the society
Effects of Dating/Pre-marital Relations Pseudo-Relationship Fakeness Insincerity Just to have a good time Superficial EXPENSIVE In violation of Allah s commands. Door to major sins.
Interaction between Genders Defined in Qur an Come not near adultery, Lo! It is an abomination and an evil way. (17:32) Allah commands justice, kindness, and giving to near relatives, while He forbids sexual misconduct, debauchery and insolence. He instructs you, so that you may receive admonition. (16:90)
Interaction between Genders In Hadith: When there are only two, the third is shaitaan Give me a guarantee (that you will not misuse) what is between your jaws and what is between your legs, and I guarantee you Jannah" - Story Time! - Snow Ball Effect Reality (not theory)
Islamic Solution Proper Hijaab Marriages earlier than the norms of Today s Society Arranged Marriages/ Guided Marriages
Hijaab Contrary to popular belief- Hijaab is a PRACTICE of HAYA and a strong message not just the cloth that sisters wear on their heads Defines the interaction between Men and Women
Hijaab Defined Tell the believing men to lower their gaze from looking at forbidden things and to protect their private parts, that is purer for them, verily Allah is all aware of that what they do And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts and not to show off their adornments except that which is apparent (24:30,31)
Marriage in Islam Contrary to popular belief Marriage is the union of two families NOT union of two individuals How do I know when I m ready to be married?
Answer Questions to ask myself: 2. Am I ready to take on the responsibilities of that role (Husband/Wife/Father/Mother) - Am I mature enough?
Islamic Solution to Dating ARRANGED/Guided MARRIAGES
Misconceptions of Arranged /Guided Marriages Society Thinks/Says: How do you marry someone you don t know? Solution: Q: When your dating, are you seeing that person as they are? Or how they want you to see them? Muslim Extended Family System
Internal Misconceptions Today s Muslim Girl s Fears: He ll keep me: Barefoot Pregnant Cooking all day long He ll have no concept of love at all
Internal Misconceptions Today s Muslim brother thinks: She won t be cool to hang out with She ll tell him everything he does is HARAAM. She ll keep him on lock down
Arranged/Guided Marriage Defined Family system implements overlapping checks NO one can force you to marry anyone Built on communication TWO WAY!!!!!!!
Process Communicate Early If you can t communicate with your parents call someone who can. Trust in Allah If its meant to be, it ll happen, there is nothing that you can do that will make it happen faster.
Qualities to look for in a Wife Deen Wealth Family Status Beauty If you want to be successful, Choose Deen
Qualities to look for in a Husband Deen Amanah Akhlaaq
Tips If marriage looks far off: Lower your gaze Avoid situations where you might be overcome by lust Never let shaitaan give you an excuse to talk to a sister/brother, NOW MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION IS
Common Excuses Common excuses that shaitaan will give: He/She is Muslim We re just friends our intentions are good What s wrong with it? We re discussing Islam We trust each other and ourselves
Fear Allah The only solution