Communication Session Four و و و أ م ا ح ق الل س ان ف إك ر ام ه ع ن ا ل ن وت ع و يد ه ا ل ي ت رك ال ف ض ول ال يت ال فائ د ة ل ا و ال ب بالن ا س ح س ن الق ول فيهم The right of the tongue is that you consider it too noble for obscenity, accustom it to good, refrain from any vain talk in which there is no benefit, express kindness to the people, and speak well concerning them Imam Zaynul Abidin (a)risalatul Huquq 1
Agenda The Holy Quran Non verbal communication Types of non verbal communication Functions of non verbal communication Examples from the Holy Quran 2
The Holy Quran ي ا أ ي ه ا الن اس ق د ج اء ت ك م م و ع ظ ة م ن ر ب ك م و ش ف اء ل م ا ف الص د ور و ه د ى و ر ح ة ل ل م ؤ م ن ني ق ل ب ف ض ل الل ه و ب ر ح ت ه ف ب ذ ل ك ف ل ي ف ر ح وا ه و خ ي ر م ا ي م ع ون O mankind! there has come to you indeed an admonition from your Lord and a healing for what is in the chests and a guidance and a mercy for the believers. Say: By the grace of Allah and in His mercy-- in that they should rejoice; it is better than that which they gather. Sura Yunus, 10:57-58 3
Non Verbal Communication A substantial part of communication is non verbal. The human body uses a natural, unconscious way of communicating. It is often more important than the words used. Non verbal communication is subtle and can be culture specific. The message sent is received in the context in which it is sent. When the non verbal transmitters differ from the verbal transmitters the listener receives the message more from the former. Being alert to non verbal cues helps the listener understand the actual message and respond accordingly. Non verbal transmitters can only conform to the verbal transmitters when there is sincerity and purity in the heart. 4
From Imam Ali (a) م ا أ ض م ر أ ح د ش ي ئا إ ال ظ ه ر ف ل ت ات ل س ان ه ف و ج ه ه و ص ف ح ا ت Whenever a person conceals a thing in his heart it manifests itself through unintentional words from his tongue and the expressions of his face Nahjul Balagha, Hadith no.26 5
Types of non verbal transmitters 1) Facial smiling, frowning, glaring, emotional expressions, expressionless face... 2) Voice loudness, softness, whispering, trembling, enthusiastic, cold... 3) Gestures waving, pointing, rolling the eyes... 4) Posture arms crossing, 5) Eyes warmth, love, anger, disapproval, hatred... 6) Distance 7) Touch 8) Silence 6
Functions of non verbal communication 1) Repeats and emphasizes the message. Non verbal communication reinforces verbal communication. 2) Complements and accentuates the message 3) Substitutes for words. Sometimes what is difficult for the speaker to convey with words is done through the body. 4) Can contradict the message. Non verbal cues sometimes negate the words spoken. 5) Reveals the sincerity or lack of it in the speaker. 7
Examples from the Quran Facial Smiling ف ت ب س م ض اح ك ا م ن ق و ل ا So he smiled, wondering at her speech Sura an-naml, 27:19 8
Facial Laughing و ام ر أ ت ه ق ائ م ة ف ض ح ك ت ف ب ش ر ن اه ا ب إ س ح اق و م ن و ر اء إ س ح اق ي ع ق و ب ق ال ت ي ا و ي ل ت أ أ ل د و أ ن ا ع ج وز و ه ذ ا ب ع ل ي ش ي خ ا إ ن ه ذ ا ل ش ي ء ع ج ي ب And his wife standing by, laughed as We gave her the good news of Ishaq and after Ishaq of (a grandson) Yaqub She said: O my! shall I, an old woman, bear a child and this my husband is an old man? That is indeed a strange thing. Sura Hud, 11:71 9
Facial Winking إ ن ال ذ ين أ ج ر م وا ك ان وا م ن ال ذ ين آم ن وا ي ض ح ك و ن و إ ذ ا م ر وا ب م ي ت غ ام ز ون Surely they who are guilty used to laugh at those who believe. And when they passed by them, they winked at one another Sura al-mutaffifin, 83:29-30 10
Facial Weeping و إ ذ ا س ع وا م ا أ نز ل إ ل الر س ول ت ر ى أ ع ي ن ه م ت ف يض م ن الد م ع م ا ع ر ف وا م ن ا ل ق ي ق ول ون ر ب ن ا آم ن ا ف اك ت ب ن ا م ع الش اه د ين And when they hear what has been revealed to the messenger you will see their eyes overflowing with tears on account of the truth that they recognize; they say: Our Lord! we believe, so write us down with the witnesses (of truth). Sura Maidah, 5:83 11
Gestures hanging the head in shame ث ن ك س وا ع ل ى ر ؤ وس ه م ل ق د ع ل م ت م ا ه ؤ ال ء ي نط ق و ن Then they were made to hang down their heads: Certainly you know that they do not speak. Sura Anbiya, 21:65 12
Eyes Fear ف إ ذ ا ج اء ا ل و ف ر أ ي ت ه م ي ن ظ ر ون إ ل ي ك ت د ور أ ع ي ن ه م ك ال ذ ي ي غ ش ى ع ل ي ه م ن ال م و ت ف إ ذ ا ذ ه ب ا ل و ف س ل ق وك م ب أ ل س ن ة ح د اد but when fear comes, you will see them looking to you, their eyes rolling like one swooning because of death; but when the fear is gone they smite you with sharp tongues Sura al-ahzab, 33:19 13
Eyes Jealousy و إ ن ي ك اد ال ذ ين ك ف ر وا ل ي ز ل ق ون ك ب أ ب ص ار ه م ل م ا س ع وا الذ ك ر و ي ق ول ون إ ن ه ل م ج ن و ن And those who disbelieve would almost smite you with their eyes when they hear the reminder, and they say: Most surely he is mad Sura al-qalam, 68:51 14
Effect of non verbal cues Cheerfulness removes the grudges of others Holy Prophet (s), Mizanul Hikmah, H#1706 The cause of love is cheerfulness Imam Ali (a), Mizanul Hikmah, H#1719 You cannot help [all of] mankind with your wealth so meet them with cheerful faces and joy. Holy Prophet (s), Mizanul Hikmah, H#1724 15
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