Ohr Fellowships Arrogance גאוה Mr. Federman was making it big. He owned tons of real estate, had 3 succesful businesses, and was the richest man around. He looked and acted untouchable. The old and humble Mr. Federman was now being replaced with the arrogant, big-shotted Mr. Federman. His walk, talk, dress, and overall demeanor just emenated a sense of me, me, me! The whole community noticed it, but wouldn t dare say anything. After all, he s the most prominent man in the community, everyone thought. Mr. Federman s best friend from childhood, Shimmy, was trying to hint to him that he was changing dramatically for the worse. Mr. Federman understood what Shimmy was trying to do and quickly lashed back at him. Mr. Federman screamed, l know you think l m a bigshot, but so what?! lt s not like it s against the Torah to be arrogant! Shimmy was trying to explain with certainty to Mr. Federman that it was. Finally, Mr. Federman, said: If you can prove to me from the words of the Torah that it s forbidden to be arrogant, and not just some kind of thing that s above and beyond what s necessary, then l ll work on myself. Shimmy was determined. This is what he found... Sources [1] Gemara Sotah 5a [2] Pirkei Avos 4:4 with Rambam [3] Pirkei Avos 5:19 [4] Ohr Yechezkel (Middos) pg. 50 Find more sugyas at OhrOnCampus.com ARROGANCE Questions? Comments? Email OhrOnCampus@gmail.com1
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Gemara Sotah 5a [1] Where is there a warning against arrogance (in the Torah)? Rava says in the name of Ze iri (from the passage in Yirmiyahu 13-15) Listen up and give your ears, do not be arrogant. Rav Nachman the son of Yitzchok says it comes from here (Devarim 8-14 and 8-11)...and your heart become arrogant and you forget... and it is written Be careful, perhaps you will forget the Almighty your G-d. And this is like Rav Avin the son of Rav Ila ah that says anywhere it says the words hishmaer, pen, and al (careful, perhaps, and don t), it s a negative commandment in the Torah. Rav Chisda, or some say Mar Ukvah says: Any man who has arrogance, G-d says, He and I cannot dwell in the same world together. Proof for this is the passage which says, The one who slanders his friend in private, him I will shrivel. One whose eyes are raised up high (in arrogance) and has a wide heart, him I am not able. Don t read it as, him I am not able, but rather [with] him I am not able (to dwell). ARROGANCE 3
Pirkei Avos 4:4 with Rambam [2]. שתקות אנוש רמה, מאד מאד הוי שפל רוח : רבי לויטס איש יבנא אומר Rav Levitus the man of Yavneh says, be extremely extremely low spirited (humble), because the hope of man is maggots Rambam: But this character trait alone (arrogance) is different from all other traits because of the great loss that comes with it. By the early saintly leaders, their knowledge led them to understand how damaging this character trait. Therefore, they distanced themselves to the very end of this trait as far as they could, and turned to lowliness of spirit completely; to the point that there was no room for arrogance left inside of them at all. I saw one time in of the books of character traits that one of the very important saintly leaders was asked what was the happiest day of his life. He answered it was a day when he was traveling on a boat and he was placed in the lowliest of barracks on the boat (where all the dirty clothes were placed). On the boat were many business men and men of wealth, and I was just sleeping down in my barracks. One of the men from the boat went down to urinate and saw me downstairs. In his eyes I was a degraded nothing who was as low as it gets. He felt I was such a nothing that he actually pulled down his pants and urinated right on me. I was astonished how someone could have so little shame to actually do something like that. However, I can swear that I felt no emotional pain from it at all, and my emotions didn t stir up one iota. On that day I was celebrated immensely that I could reach the point of not being pained by the embarrassment of that business man and not feeling any ill feelings. There is no question that is considered the far end of considering yourself lowly and distancing yourself from arrogance. ARROGANCE 4
Pirkei Avos 5-19 [3] כל מי שיש בו שלשה דברים הללו, מתלמידיו של אברהם אבינו. ושלשה דברים אחרים, מתלמידיו של בלעם הרשע. עין טובה, ורוח נמוכה, ונפש שפלה, מתלמידיו של אברהם אבינו. עין רעה, ורוח גבוה, ונפש רחבה, מתלמידיו של בלעם הרשע. מה בין תלמידיו של אברהם אבינו לתלמידיו של בלעם הרשע. תלמידיו של אברהם אבינו, אוכלין בעולם הזה ונוחלין לעולם הבא, שנאמר להנחיל אוהבי יש, ואוצרותיהם אמלא, אבל תלמידיו של בלעם הרשו יורשין גיהנם ויורדין לבאר שחת... Anyone who has these three traits is from the students of our father Avrohom, and three other traits, is from the students of Bila m the wicked. A good eye (happy with what you have), a lowly spirit (humble), and a nefesh shfeila (careful with your actions) is one who is a student of our father Avrohom. A bad eye (never happy with what you have), a high spirit (arrogance) and a wide soul (never careful) is one who is a student of Bila m the wicked. Students of our father Avrohom eat the fruit of their labor in this world, and inherit the world to come, as it says to inherit the ones who love yesh, and their store houses I will fill up. However, the students of Bila m the wicked inherit Hell and fall down to the pit of abyss. ARROGANCE 5
Ohr Yechezkel (Middos) pg. 50 [4] For example, the character trait of arrogance is the key to all other character traits. Even traits that seem to have no connection at all to arrogance, if one thinks deeply he ll see how they re all connected. For example, loving all people which is seemingly completely different (and not connected to arrogance whatsoever). However, on the contrary, it s completely intertwined and connected to it. Someone who is arrogant is very close to hating other people, considering that an arrogant person really only cares about himself, without paying attention to anyone else. Therefore, arrogance leads to hating other people. On the flip side, one who is humble and nullifies himself to others saying what are we, it makes sense that he ll be able to love people. Truthfully, to love others is placed in the very nature of man, and arrogance with love of one s self messes it up. It s because of this that only one who is humble can truly love others. Similarly, the trait of laziness is also linked to arrogance. Even though laziness is something completely different, nevertheless arrogance strengthens laziness. This is because there are certain things that have the ability to stop laziness, but do not exist by an arrogant person, leaving room for the natural way of laziness to strengthen itself. For example, someone who is lazy and can t get up for the morning prayers, would be able to wake up without arrogance getting in the way. Truthfully, how could someone not be embarrassed to get up from his bed at a time when most people are already up to pray. Shouldn t he be embarrassed from the group, and even more so from G-D. This is truly only due to his arrogance that nullifies all others and distances from him the trait of embarrassment. Therefore, like I wrote, since arrogance prevents the things that will stop laziness, laziness is also interlinked with arrogance. Similarly, the trait of a bad eye, which is the trait of cruelty (even though different than arrogance) is strengthened by arrogance. An arrogant person (as stated before) cares about no one but himself, and doesn t pay attention to anyone else. Therefore, his trait of cruelty bears fruit (through his arrogance). Also the trait of desire is tied to arrogance. One who is arrogant and thinks only of himself is never satisfied with what he has and desires to gather in for himself the entire world. He thinks everything is coming to him. On the flip side, a humble person, even though he also has desires, his desires are small. This is because his desires don t take over him and drive him to fulfill them. ARROGANCE 6
Leave Your Ego At The Door: 8 Ways Arrogance Will Hinder Your Opportunities BY MAURO GRIGOLLO [5] Arrogance is a virtue that can kill your opportunities and networks almost certainly. There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and I am sure everyone knows someone who shares either of these qualities; perhaps you yourself have been accused of exhibiting this attitude. Being confident isn t the problem, the problem arises when confidence isn t expressed in a proper manner. Unfortunately, many times, confidence is mistaken for being cocky and that turns everyone off to your appearance and voice. Now, do not get confused with being accomplished and talking about it. I have met people who automatically want to distort someone s actions simply because that person expressed his or her accomplishments in a professional manner to show his or her credentials in times it s called for. Those people couldn t be more wrong; cocky arrogance is usually presented in a loud and egocentric way that doesn t permit dialogue. So, be more careful on how you express yourself and also how you judge someone who is sharing his or her experiences. Paralanguage is something that can confuse people easily. Usually, the most accomplished individuals are secure, and therefore, do not go out of their way to show how amazing they are. It s important to keep this in mind because being perceived as cocky can squash your options. Arrogance will kill your opportunities for many reasons: 1. When you are arrogant, you tend to be more close-minded (thus, less likely to find new techniques and knowledge because you are consumed with yourself). 2. When you are arrogant, you tend to disengage from learning about new people. This keeps you from making connections you might need later in life, and it s all about whom you know nowadays. 3. When you are arrogant, you tend to do more talking and less listening. You were given one mouth and two ears for a reason; listening can help you learn while talking won t give you any gains. 4. When you are arrogant, you think you are always right. This leads to false assumptions, and you are more likely to make a mistake. A second opinion on something doesn t make you less able; it shows you know the value of teamwork, and it shows your humility, both which are qualities many people value and search for. 5. No one wants to be around cocky people unless he or she wants something from you. It will suck to one day wake up and realize you are alone and the only social interactions you engage in involve you being used. 6. It shows you do not do well in teams (this can kill other work opportunities). 7. True arrogance can show a lack of worldly knowledge and insecurities. 8. Arrogance can lead to unethical actions. Those who are arrogant think they are infallible, but, as we all know, nobody is infallible. This means that the day an arrogant person fails, which will happen eventually and that s okay, he or she will do whatever it takes to cover up that failure. Many times, these individuals will go to extreme measures to ensure their fault is never discovered even if it involves unethical acts. Remember, confidence is quiet and insecurities are loud. Always be modest and humble; it will get you further in life. It is understandable people like to brag and talk about themselves, but there comes a point where it gets annoying and ARROGANCE 7
offensive. You must think about where you are and whom you are speaking with first; this will help you act and react in a more suitable way. Look at that other person s point of view and how he or she possibly views you, especially after first meeting. First time impressions are everlasting, and sometimes, you never get a second chance. You might think you are more capable or qualified than someone; however, we are all constantly learning and growing and every person has his or her strengths and weaknesses. How you deal with yourself and others proves more than your statements; actions will always be stronger than words. Modest people tend to be more educated and open, thus share their knowledge with the world and people around them, while having the capacity to accept there is room for growth. Listening allows you to learn, making your knowledge library that much more impressive. Arrogance limits your capabilities and growth potential, so don t let it be your downfall. Be better than that. ARROGANCE 8
CONCLUSION DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions presented in this sourcesheet should not be taken as halachah l maaseh. Before applying these halachos to real-life situations, one must consult with a competent halachic authority. ARROGANCE 9