Session 5 The Grass Isn t Always Greener 1 Corinthians 7:29-40 I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but to promote what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction. 1 Corinthians 7:35, CSB 1
Session 5 The Grass Isn t Always Greener THEOLOGICAL THEME: Singleness offers unique opportunities for focus on spiritual growth and ministry. Table for One Ministries, a discipleship organization uniquely devoted to single adults, noted in a blog post dated March 2, 2013 that when searching for the abundant life promised by Jesus in John 10:9-11, a variety of mistaken assumptions can creep in. One of the greatest hurdles is the belief that a certain relationship was needed to bring fulfillment to life. The author writes: As a single adult you interact with people every day that seem to not be living life to its fullest. They go to their jobs and clock in and out without any true joy. You see them in your social groups drinking to be accepted by others or dating people to feel valued. These actions and ones like it are the actions of people who do not understand abundant life. Having a relationship with God is not simply something to keep in your back pocket, but to be a relationship that grows and compels you to act different and share the Gospel. Many singles that desire to be married think that abundant life will be a spouse, a family, and a big house. Wrong. These are all the wrong types of relationships for seeking to live life abundantly. Abundant life comes only through Christ and following Him. 1 Tremendous spiritual and relational peril lurks in the temptation to draw one s sense of personal significance or fulfillment from any relationship apart from that with Jesus Christ. Any attempt to find true identity outside of Christ will fail. The lure of 2 Date of My Bible Study:
the world can change with the wind, draw one into sin, and seduce him or her into believing that God has no use for him or her in seasons of singleness. The teaching of Scripture contrasts directly with this idea. What relationships or situations do you tend to seek the most significance from? How does that dynamic impact your relationship with Christ? What unique opportunities, based on your stage of life, are available for the greatest avenues of spiritual growth? When you consider your stage of life, do you tend to long for the next season or do you tend to view life through the advantages of your present moment? What does your answer indicate about your understanding of your identity in Christ? In this week s session, Paul s teaching to the believers in Corinth addressed a commonly held and misguided theology called asceticism. The belief suggested that adherents should reject any relationship, practice, or source that brought enjoyment or pleasure. In helping the congregation understand the holy middle ground between giving themselves to every vice and refusing to participate in anything that brought enjoyment, Paul addressed the topic of singleness and marriage. In a very practical text, Paul helped believers understand that all of these must be understood in the light of the gospel. Session 5 3
1. Focus on the Eternal, Not the Temporary (1 Corinthians 7:29-31) This particular section of Paul s writings can be misunderstood if not carefully read in context. Paul s language might be misconstrued to mean that those who are married should live like they are not. This was certainly not Paul s intended purpose. Instead, Paul was warning against the believers in Corinth from becoming overly attached to the various activities and relationships in their daily lives as a means of finding their identity. Specifically, Paul identified marital status, emotional attachments, and purchasing possessions. Why these? Paul was not being literal, but highly rhetorical in an effort to reframe the way the believers in Corinth understood the importance of their lives. Paul s point was that nothing that belongs to the world that was passing away should rival things of eternal significance. Paul wrote that nothing of this world should ultimately shape our identity. Who in your life reminds you of your eternal value and purpose? Who do you give permission to speak into your life in this way? How would you imagine a person s priorities would change if they were aware of exactly how much time they had before Christ s return? Though we don t have this exact knowledge, we have been assured of the imminence of Christ s return. How should this shape our priorities? 4 Personal Study Guide
The final clause of verse 31 placed this entire section of Paul s letter to the Corinthians in perspective. Paul wrote plainly that this world, the one humanity still inhabits, was passing away in the form the Corinthians knew it. Scripture underscores this idea repeatedly. Nevertheless, time and again throughout the centuries, mankind has become mired in the details of the temporary. Measurements of success, significance, purpose, and acceptance have repeatedly drawn people s attention from the eternal to the momentary. Paul taught that those in Christ should continually reposition their gaze on things of eternal significance. 2. Be Without Concerns (1 Corinthians 7:32-35) Paul s words regarding the passing away of the current world might have brought concern from his readers. Paul addressed this possible reponse beginning in verse 32. His overarching desire was that, regarding marriage and singleness, the Corinthians would not have concern. The Corinthian Christians could release concern regarding their marital status because, when the world passes away, neither marriage nor singleness will last. In light of this reality, Corinthian believers would exchange this concern for a greater concern toward those who did not believe the gospel. In this passage, Paul addressed the believers of the Corinthian church in four categories: married and unmarried; man and woman. For the unmarried, both men and women, their sole concern was described as the things of the Lord. Outside of the bond of marriage, the man or woman s unrivaled priority was sanctification growing in their understanding of God and living their lives in increasing obedience to Him. For the married man or woman, they added to their concern for the Lord the concern for their spouse. It is critical at this juncture to remember that Paul s underlying point was that neither life stage married nor single was preferable. Rather, the different stages carried equally different ways of living as disciples. Would you say that our modern culture favors either being married or being single? Why do you answer as you do? Session 5 5
How would you rate your concerns right now as it pertains to discipleship? What things exist that might compete with your focus on God s will for your life? Why do you think Paul was so specific about the believers concerns? In verse 35, Paul made clear the intention of his argument. He was not attempting to give a pattern to follow or a list of rules for marriage and singleness. Rather, his purpose was eternal in scope. He wanted to make sure that the believers in Corinth, who historically struggled with God-honoring relationships, were rightly focused on following Christ as their utmost concern. Paul was not elevating marriage as the ideal, nor was he stating that singleness was the only right status before God. His concern was their undistracted growth in and service of Jesus Christ. 3. Marriage is Good, But Not Necessarily Best (1 Corinthians 7:36-40) It is easy to attribute more benefit and worth to a lifestyle that is free from any concerns, other than those of the Lord. Paul knew that. Therefore, having just explained that those who are single have a greater inclination toward spiritual growth and focused service of God, Paul added an additional section to ensure those in Corinth who were married knew they were not in sin. The specificity of the situation that Paul presented in verses 36-37 seems to indicate that Paul had a specific scenario within the Corinthian congregation in mind. It is possible that the situation had become elevated to the point that the argument had begun to threaten the already fragile state of the struggling congregation. To that end, Paul spoke of acting improperly toward the virgin the man was engaged to. The improper action was, yet again, a word from Paul against the ascetics. Doubtless, the man desired to marry his betrothed and consummate the marriage. This would have been highly improper for the ascetics, but Paul told the brother it was permissible to pursue this desire. Paul then went further to ensure that the entire congregation (since the letter would have been read publicly) understood that such desire and relationship in the context of marriage was no sin. 6 Personal Study Guide
In the same breath, however, Paul noted that if the man chose not to marry, remaining single and celibate, he would also please God. The verse in this particular section that has caused great consternation perhaps needlessly so is verse 38. Paul summarily advised that if the man married, he did well; but if he remained single, he would do better. Paul s reason to state that the man would do better if he remained single was the distress of the age. The distress of the age (vs. 26) was an eschatological phrase Paul used to refer to the difficulties believers would experience until Christ returned. There were, no doubt, physical difficulties in the Corinthian congregation already (Paul mentioned some among their number dying later in the letter). Singleness, in that light, would have been better to eliminate the concern for the life of a spouse to whom one was so closely bound. Why do you think Paul was so adamant to not show preference to marriage or singleness? What does Paul s mindfulness of the shortness of time and the distress of the age indicate about his anticipation of Christ s return? How does that resonate with your own sense of Christ s return? In Paul s closing remarks on this subject, he addressed the case of the widowed woman. He was careful to identify the same two options that he did for the engaged man immediately before. The one added stipulation was that, if she chose to remarry, she did so only in the Lord. In other words, the rules for marriage for the believer remained she must marry another believer. Staying true to his balance, Paul concluded by saying he felt that she would be happier if she remained unmarried. Session 5 7
Conclusion Paul s writing regarding marriage and singleness translates from ancient to modern culture. The issues of marriage and singleness are no less pertinent to the church today than they were to the Corinthians of the past. Paul put forth several important considerations for viewing singleness and marriage within the church. First, we must resist allowing non-eternal things to define an eternal being. The labels of married and single are often used to segment not just church, but society as a whole. While the significance of the marital relationship should not be diminished, neither should God s love, will, purpose, and desire to use those who are single. We should be reminded, Jesus and Paul were both single. Marital status does not define the believer, nor is it his or her greatest concern. Paul reminded us that this world is passing away, and eternity waits. Second, there are significant spiritual advantages in being single. However, if we cannot view ourselves as eternally significant and loved apart from marriage then it is difficult to see those advantages. If we understand that God sovereignly created us, desires to use us for His purposes in the world, and calls us sons and daughters, then those spiritual advantages can become reality. Singleness affords opportunity for undivided focus on the things of God and His mission. On a grand scale, these opportunities provide the path to deeper Christlikeness. Third, unity in the body of Christ is paramount. There is no better or worse, preferred or not, in the body of Christ. The temptation to view brothers and sisters in Christ according to marital status can fragment the body. Christ calls us to be unified, without distinctions. This requires a significant amount of bravery because cultural distinctions so easily creep into the church. However, if there is no distinction in Christ, neither should there be in His body. Who do you regularly relate to on a spiritual level that is of a different marital status than you? How does this difference provide opportunity toward growth that some other relationships do not? 8 Personal Study Guide
What are some of the advantages of growing in Christ as a single person? What aspects of pursuing Christ are you freer to say yes to? What passages in the Bible come to mind most readily that speak of God s love for you? Do those passages speak of the distinction of being married or single? Why not? What have been the most helpful ways you ve found to remain heavenly-minded, maintaining an awareness of the imminence of Christ s return? CHRIST CONNECTION: Jesus provided a new identity for all believers as sons and daughters of God. That means believers need not find their identity in marriage or any other relationship. MISSIONAL APPLICATION: Paul wrote of the ability of those who are single to focus on spiritual growth and ministry as a benefit. Recognizing the urgency for the gospel in our day, believers should still view singleness in this light. Session 5 9
FOR NEXT WEEK Session Title --Love is Not a Feeling but a Choice Main Passages --1 Corinthians 13:1-13 Session Outline 1. Love Validates Our Service (1 Corinthians 13:1-3) 2. Love s Nature (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a) 3. Love s Supremacy (1 Corinthians 13:8b-13) Memorize I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but to promote what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction. 1 Corinthians 7:35, CSB 10 Personal Study Guide