REPORT ON UCWLA 2013 ANNUAL RETREAT Have you ever been to Mount Schoenstatt in Mulgoa? If you want to get away from the hustle and bustle of city life for a few hours then a trip to there is well worth the effort. Located in the country, on top of the hill, away from the noise of everyday life, the peace and tranquillity experienced there brings to mind the quote, Be still and know that I am God. So it is no wonder that the Ukrainian Catholic Women s League Australia had chosen this venue for their 2013 Annual Retreat held on Saturday 2 nd November 2013. As we arrived at the Mount Schoenstatt Retreat Centre, we were welcomed by the raucous cicada choir, singing in full voice. It was not the quiet that we had been expecting! Was this God keeping us on our toes to see if we could still stay focused or was it just God s sense of humour? Having refreshed ourselves with a drink and some yummy cakes that the ladies had baked, we were now ready for the first session. After a formal welcome from our President, Olya Chuchula, we started our day with a prayer and a hymn to Our Blessed Lady Радіємо нині з чудес. Our singing was so prayerful that even the cicadas showed some respect by toning down a little. The first session, presented by Fr. Michael Szyjan, was titled Self-esteem/ Who am I? As well as being a priest Michael is also a psychologist, so we were in good hands. He encouraged all of us to contribute and join in the discussions. We talked about how we perceive ourselves and what is meant by self-esteem. Next we looked at the people in the Bible that God had chosen to do his work and came to the conclusion that they were generally people of low self-esteem, e.g. Peter upon whom He built his church. It was a long but very interesting session, which left us feeling that you don t have to have high self-esteem to succeed in life, for God works in mysterious ways. During our lunch break we had a chance to mingle, walk around the grounds, visit the piety store, say a prayer in the little chapel or just eat our lunch. It is said that this chapel is a place of special grace. To find out more you would need to read some of the pamphlets that are displayed in the doorway. We welcomed the nuns, Sister Constantina and Sister Dorothea, as they joined us for the second half The Power of Prayer. Father Simon Ckuj began this session with a quote from Google on the definition of Prayer, which he thought was rather good. (Worth looking up if you were not there.) He spoke about the different ways that we can pray to God, including through the intersession of Mary and the saints, and how we can make our whole day a prayer. Father Simon made a point of saying that in the Ukrainian Church, we do not go to church to hear Mass, but we go to church to pray the Divine Liturgy [Mass]. In other words, the whole congregation should be joining in the responses so that everyone is praying, not just the priest, the nuns or the choir. We finished our Retreat with a Moleben, a beautiful prayer service to our Blessed Mother Mary. Our singing in the little chapel attracted foreign visitors in the grounds, who reverently joined us in prayer. During the service, even the cicadas stopped to listen - peace and tranquillity had been restored, not that we had minded that much! Thank you to the UCWLA committee who organised this day. We all benefited from being there and being a part of it. Irene Ostrowsky 1
WHAT IS SELF-ESTEEM? Part of being human is to form an identity. I reflect upon who I am and, perhaps less so but also as important, about what others think of me. When we were younger our identity tended to be future oriented and now that we are older it tends to be a reflection on the past. We all have or had goals both short and long term. We reflect and reminisce on the goals and decisions made and the outcomes. Over time we create an overall evaluation of ourselves of our worth this process or outcome we call self-esteem. The outcome could result in positive self-esteem I think I have done well, or negative - I have not achieved my goals things didn t go the way I would have liked. Positive self esteem leads to contentment, self-acceptance and perhaps even joy in what I have achieved, while negative selfesteem leads to a disquiet and dissatisfaction with my present state. With negative self-esteem I may be unhappy with some of the things I have done or parts of who I have become. I wish I could be different, I wish I could discard those parts of me. The outcome of our self-evaluation also profoundly affects the way we will relate to the world. If we see ourselves as positive then we feel we have something to contribute to those around us, while the more we evaluate ourselves negatively, the more we distance ourselves from others and isolate ourselves. Another way of looking at it is the more we reject parts of ourselves, the more we reject others. Although the thought of negative self esteem is something one wants to avoid, we realise none of us are perfect and realistically speaking each has a mix of both. We hope that for the most part we have positive self-esteem and a dose of negative to keep us humble and on our toes. SELF EVALUATION - KNOW THYSELF The ancient philosopher Socrates said, The unexamined life is not worth living. While the Ukrainian philosopher Hrihory Skovoroda wandered the countryside saying to people, Know thyself! Let us follow their advice and spend a few minutes reflecting on our life. Who am I? Perhaps pull out a piece of paper and list four of the things you feel define who you are. MY IDENTITY For some people being a mother was most important, while for others it may have been being an aunty or caregiver or husband or father or being a Christian or a member of the Ukrainian community. To help, you may want to think about the things that you invested most time and energy in as these will most likely indicate where your heart and soul was and is. 2
MY RELIGIOUS IDENTITY MY MISSION I would also like you to reflect on your religious or spiritual identity your mission on the journey to your Heavenly Father. Each one of us as baptised members of the church was given a special calling a request to fulfil our unique spiritual destiny. Our daily journey should be one that includes a conversation with Jesus or our Heavenly Father about our identity and mission. MISSION AND SELF-ESTEEM IN THE BIBLE To better understand our spiritual identity, mission and self-esteem, a look at a few well-known figures in the Bible can be of help. In the Old Testament Moses was asked by God to challenge the great Pharaoh of Egypt. Quite a formidable task. He politely declines the offer saying that he has a speech impediment (stuttering). Our Heavenly Father reconfirms that he has recruited the right person for the job and sends him off. Stuttering and stammering, but with the assistance of his brother Aaron, he obtains freedom for the Jewish people. Noah, another Old Testament figure, is somewhat of a curiosity to his neighbours he is building a very large boat because the rain will flood everything. God commanded him. His neighbours thought him as delusional if not psychotic. Job, another Old Testament figure, appeared to be doing rather well blessed by God with a wife, family, cattle, however the devil gets the better of him (with God s permission) and he loses all. He is confused and despondent but maintains his faith. He endures the trials and God again rewards him. In the New Testament the Apostles have the front row seat with Jesus but consistently just can t seem to understand his lessons and instructions. They can t walk on water or multiply loaves and fishes or exorcise the demons as Jesus does. They are not passing the grade. It takes a world wind of the Holy Spirit to change them from frightened, unsure personalities to men of insight, conviction and courage. Although they had never travelled more than a few kilometres, they end up travelling to the ends of the earth to preach Jesus Christ. Quite a change. And lastly, St Paul, who in his zeal for the Jewish faith, was killing Christians until knocked off his horse and promptly told he was persecuting Jesus. Paul changes from murderer to missionary for Christ. JESUS AND SELF-ESTEEM Jesus was both God and Man and as a man he exhibited human qualities. He developed his humanity and his self-esteem followed. He had moments of reflection and prayer (went up to the mountain), experienced challenges (temptations), had moments of hesitancy (miracle at Cana), was surprised by the faith of others (Centurion, Canaanite mother), moments of despair (Garden of Gethsemane), an experience of profound unity with our Heavenly Father and moments of divine affirmation (the resurrection). CONCLUSIONS ABOUT SELF-ESTEEM IN THE BIBLE It seems that God makes a special point of choosing people who lack sophistication, power or eloquence to do his work. The chosen ones are overwhelmed by the request of the Heavenly Father or Jesus. One could say that they suffered from low self-esteem. No worries - just have faith, I am with you and what appears impossible will become possible because we will be working together. Positive self-esteem comes when one has faith and works with God. Positive self-esteem comes - but only after hearing what God is asking of me (my mission), knowing God is with me and enduring the challenges that are encountered along the way and then experiencing the moments of Divine affirmation when lifted up by the Holy Spirit - I then realise I am fulfilling my mission. I feel good about 3
myself. Through the Holy Spirit I converse with God and he tells me Well done servant! God grants me positive self-esteem not I. God is the measure of my worthiness not I, and it is God who waits for our entry into the Kingdom where he is ready to embrace us and invite us to join with him and all who have fulfilled their mission. RECLAIMING MY SPIRITUAL SENSE OF SELF As Christians when we continue to develop our spiritual sense of self, so also does our self-esteem develop. This requires continuous assessment of our standing before God, a thirst to broaden our knowledge of our faith (Bible, our Church history, spiritual heritage, moral teachings), to reflect upon the relevance of our faith in everyday life, to access the sacramental gifts of the Church, to fill the spiritual void in our soul and heal the wounds we carry. To assist us on this journey I propose a prayer that many have found to be a helpful guide: God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that You will make all things right, If I surrender to Your will, So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen. (By Reinhold Niebuhr) 4
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