Let s Get Ready to Humble

Lesson 30 Let s Get Ready to Humble Scope and Sequence New Testament Book Study The Book of James Lesson Objective Students will learn how to pursue humility rather than destructive selfish desires. Sticky Statement End the rumble by being humble. Key Verse James 4:10 Definitions Hedonism: A philosophy that considers the pursuit of pleasure to be of ultimate importance. Checklist 1. A PowerPoint is available for this lesson. 2. Paper, cardstock, or poster board for the Worldly Ways activity. Resources 1. A Instances for friendly fire from Point 1: https://teachersource.wol.org/resource/sbs18/30-1/ https://teachersource.wol.org/resource/sbs18/30-2/ 2. A Youth Worker s Commentary on James by David Nystrom and Les Christie. 3. Holman New Testament Commentary Hebrews & James by Thomas Lea and Max Anders. Oh Grow Up! Page 301

Lesson Overview End the rumble by being humble. I. The source of friendly fire: Selfish Desires James 4:1-3; 1 Peter 2:11 Hedonism is a philosophy that considers the pursuit of pleasure to be of ultimate importance. II. Selfish and worldly desires put us at war with God James 4:4-6 The solution to both our fights with the people around us and our war with God is simple we must humble ourselves. III. How to humble yourself James 4:7-10 A. Submit to God (v. 7) B. Resist the devil (v. 7) C. Draw near to God (v. 8) D. Cleanse your hands (v. 8) E. Purify your hearts (v. 8) F. Grieve, mourn, weep; turn your laughter into mourning (v. 9) G. Humble yourself before God (v. 10) End the rumble by being humble. Hook Teacher s Note: This opening activity is simply designed to introduce the idea of a fight. Although if competitive arguing creeps into the game, that will allow for an even better illustration of how our selfish desires lead to fights. This is basically a thumb wrestling tournament. Students will need space to move around the room. When students have been eliminated, encourage them to root for others still competing. You should start each round by loudly saying, One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war. This ensures that everyone plays their rounds at the same paces. The winner is the last undefeated competitor. If your group is too large for everyone to have time to compete, consider selecting 10-12 students to compete up front instead. Keep a close watch on the time, as some matches may stalemate. To keep things moving you may want to give a 60 or 90 second time limit to each round. Matches that are tied can be paired up with a different opponent in the next round. Take no more than 5 minutes on this entire activity. Today we re going to start our time off with a good old fashioned thumb war. The rules are pretty simple. Everyone is going to pair up and link hands in the standard thumb wrestling stance. Each round will officially start when I say, One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war. You win by pinning your opponent s thumb for a count of 3. If you lose, you re eliminated, and should go to the side/back of the room and cheer for your next favorite competitor. If you pin your opponent, get ready to pair up and play another round. We ll play until there is one undefeated champion. So, pair up right now so we can begin. One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war. Oh Grow Up! Page 302

Teacher s Note: Keep playing until you have one undefeated winner or until time runs out and you have multiple winners. Congratulate the winner(s) and ask everyone to return to their seats. Most of us have been playing thumb wars since we were little. All you need is an opponent and the desire to win. Oh, and a thumb you also need a thumb. And just like that you can fight all day if you d like. Today s topic is another type of fight we ve been experiencing since we were young as well. And you don t even need thumbs for this battle. Lesson Content We re continuing our study of the book of James and our final lesson in the Oh, Grow Up Series. We ve already seen how God uses trials in our lives to make us mature and complete from James chapter 1. From James chapter 2 we saw how hurtful playing favorites can be. James chapter 3 taught us the importance of watching our words. Turn in your Bible or Bible app to James chapter 4, where we are going to learn about the source of fights and quarrels. In this passage James helps us first understand what causes fights amongst us. He then shows how these same things put us at war with God. Finally, he teaches us that we can end the rumble by being humble. [Have a student read James 4:1-3.] James begins by diagnosing the source of fights among Christians with a rhetorical question. Notice that he doesn t ask if there are fights between Christians. He assumes what many of us here know all too well that Christians fight, even in church, even in our youth ministry. It s an unfortunate reality. In military terms, this is called friendly fire. Friendly fire is when you are attacked by someone when you re not at war with that person. In recorded military history, this accounts for anywhere from 2%-20% of all casualties in battle. For instance, during the Iraq War, US Army Specialist Mario Lozano, in an accidental act of friendly fire, killed both an Italian intelligence officer and wounded an Italian journalist. The journalists had been held hostage and had just been rescued. SPC Lozano fired upon the car as they passed through a military checkpoint, killing one and wounding the other. Perhaps he was confused, or fearful of a car bomb. Whatever the reason, the results were the same. Bullets can hurt and kill, even when it s friendly fire. It s the wounds from friendly fire that James is warning us about. While we may wonder what caused a US Army specialist to fire on a friendly Italian vehicle, James doesn t leave us wondering about what causes friendly fire among Christians. He tells us that it comes from our selfish desires that war within us. I. The source of friendly fire: Selfish Desires James 4:1-3; 1 Peter 2:11 James tells us that we fight with others simply because we want to get something, and we re willing to hurt people around us to get it. Simply desiring something or praying for something personal isn t wrong nor is it hurtful to others. When we delight in the Lord, God says He wants to give us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4). What James is warning us about here are selfish desires. James is warning us about passions, desires, or pleasures. The original Oh Grow Up! Page 303

term is where we get our English word hedonism. Hedonism is a philosophy that considers the pursuit of pleasure to be of ultimate importance. James is warning us about selfishly seeking our own pleasure. When we do this, we re likely to put our own selfish desire above the needs of others. When this happens, people are bound to get hurt. Selfish desires lead to friendly fire. First Peter 2:11 brings us a similar warning about selfish desires. [Read 1 Peter 2:11.] Peter tells us to avoid passions of the flesh because they wage war against our own souls. Pursuing our personal pleasures doesn t only hurt others around us or ourselves though. James goes on to tell us that God won t give us what we want when we ask for things selfishly (James 4:3). According to James, when we ask with selfish motives, we won t get what we want, even if we fight everyone around us for it. If we re not careful, it can feel like we shouldn t ask God for anything we want for fear of being too selfish. Ultimately it comes down to our motives, and why we re asking for something. It might be helpful to recognize the difference between asking God for something for good reasons versus asking God out of selfish reasons. There are plenty of good things that we can ask God for without any selfish motives. For example: We could ask God for a good grade on a test we ve studied for. Assuming our motive is to do our very best for God, that s a great thing to pray for. We could ask for God to heal a family member. Even though that s something we personally want, it s also a request motivated by care and concern for others. We ought to continue to ask God for good things and evaluate our motives when we pray. Sometimes it can be difficult to evaluate our motives. James actually helps us assess our motives to see if they re selfish or not. Our motives and the things we re chasing after are clearly selfish when we re willing to sin or fight others to get what we want. For instance: I could want to get a good grade on a test. Getting good grades that s good. But, if I m willing to steal the answer key or cheat off a neighbor s work, then I m clearly being selfish and sinful. I could want to win and beat my friend at miniature golf. Competition can be a healthy thing. But, if I m willing to lie about the score or argue about how many strokes I had on the last hole, I m clearly being selfish and sinful. So, a good way to tell if my motives are selfish or selfless are to ask what I m willing to do to get what I want. If I m willing to sin to get it, that s definitely a problem. Going back to the beginning of this passage, James is certainly concerned about the fighting that goes on among Christians. But he goes on to explain that these same selfish and worldly desires have a greater consequence on our relationship with God. [Have a student read James 4:4-6.] Oh Grow Up! Page 304

II. Selfish and worldly desires put us at war with God James 4:4-6 James argues that when we have selfish desires we want things of this world rather than the things of God. When we fight for what we want, we re pursuing our will for things of this world, not His will for our lives. James says this is very serious. He calls it adultery. Now, adultery is a term that we usually use in relation to marriage. A married person committing adultery is cheating on their spouse. Similarly, a Christian who is living for this world and themselves is committing spiritual adultery. He is cheating on God. When we re cheating on God we place ourselves in a position of enmity with God. That simply means that when we choose to side with this world we re also choosing to make ourselves God s enemy. Being God s enemy is a very dangerous thing when we consider how powerful He is. The Apostle John gives us a similar warning about siding with the world instead of God s will for our lives. [Have a student read 1 John 2:15-17.] The things of this world have great appeal and a strong pull on our lives. While there are many good things in this world, it s a dangerous thing to desire worldly things more than God or the people around us. Let s take a few minutes to brainstorm what kind of worldly things James and John could be talking about. Teacher s Note: For this Worldly Ways Activity, students should be in groups of about 3-4. Each group will need a sheet of paper, cardstock, or poster board. Half of the groups will work on A) Outward Actions and the other half will work on B) Inward Attitudes. Have each group draw a rough picture of a body. The A groups will draw a stick figured person then brainstorm and write/draw, outside the body, as many outward actions and activities that we would identify as worldly. The B groups will draw an outline of a body then brainstorm and write/draw, on the inside of the body, as many worldly inward attitudes and ideas that we would identify as worldly. If you have the resources, you could give each group a large piece of paper big enough for the B group to trace the outline of a body. Give them approximately 3-4 minutes total to work together. This activity will help them recognize that worldliness is both internal and external as well as identify various forms of worldliness. You might consider having the A groups draw their answers on the outside of the body while the B groups draw their answers on the inside of the body. To help us identify the various ways that worldliness can creep into our lives, we re going to work together in groups of 3-4. Each group should have a piece of a paper/cardstock/poster board to write or draw your ideas on. Each group should start by drawing a body. The A groups should draw a stick body while the B groups should draw outline of a body. Half of you will be in A groups, while the other half of you will be in B groups. You ll need to work together and quickly as you only have about 3-4 minutes. At the end we ll share some of our findings. Group A Outward Actions: Your goal is to brainstorm as many outward activities and actions as you can that we would identify as worldly. Write or draw these on the outside of the body you drew. Group B Inward Attitudes: Your goal is to brainstorm as many inward attitudes and ideas as you can that we would identify as worldly. Write or draw these on the inside of the body you drew. Oh Grow Up! Page 305

Teacher s Note: When the time is up, sample the groups to get a summary of their findings. You likely won t have time for each group to share all of their ideas. Take no more than 5 minutes. Great job working on that together. I d like to hear some of the things that you came up with. As we can see, worldliness is all around us the struggle is real. It s so easy to get caught up with our own desires for the things of this world. That s why I m so grateful that James reminds us that God is gracious (James 4:6). That simply means that God is willing to give us what we don t deserve. Time and time again we choose to be selfish. Too many times, out of our selfishness, we hurt the people around us. And because of our selfish desires and siding with the world we ve become God s enemies. God s enemies deserve judgment. But according to James, if we re willing to humble ourselves, God will give us grace. We must realize that we can end the rumble by being humble. The solution to both our fights with the people around us and our war with God is simple we must humble ourselves. While that may sound simple, it s certainly not easy. That is why James finishes this section with a list of imperatives or commands that help us do just that humble ourselves. Connection Teacher s Note: Have a student read James 4:7-10. Time will likely not allow a full explanation of each of these commands. However, a short description of each should help the students prepare for the Decision. III. How to humble yourself James 4:7-10 James tells us, through a rapid-fire style of commands, how to humble ourselves. Each of these commands will help us avoid the friendly fire of fighting with one another as well as repair our relationship with God. Each of these commands help us humble ourselves and humility gives us a fighting chance to be at peace with God and the people around us. Humility also helps us take steps to mature, to grow up. A. Submit to God (v.7) This is a conscious decision to place God in charge of your desires and life rather than yourself. It s a matter of who s in control. B. Resist the devil (v.7) Whether you recognize it or not, the devil is constantly enticing us with worldly pleasures, which is why we must continually resist him. We must recognize and resist his temptations. This has great power, as God promises that the devil will flee if we simply resist. Oh Grow Up! Page 306

C. Draw near to God (v.8) Perhaps God has felt very distant to you lately. You can actively do things to grow closer in your relationship with Him. Taking time daily to pray and read the Bible are great places to start drawing near to Him. D. Cleanse your hands (v.8) Here James is talking about cleansing our lives from any outward sinful activities. E. Purify your hearts (v.8) Cleansing our hands was talking about external actions. Purifying our hearts is talking about cleaning up what s on the inside our thoughts and attitudes. We must purify our hearts so we crave the things of God more than those of the world. F. Grieve, mourn, weep; turn your laughter into mourning (v.9) Sorrow is a healthy part of repentance. This isn t the superficial sorrow that comes from being sad at getting caught doing something wrong. This is the deep sorrow that comes from recognizing that what we ve been doing has hurt people around us and disappointed God. This response shows we take our sin seriously. G. Humble yourself before God (v.10) Humility is key. When we humble ourselves, God lifts us up. The previous commands are various steps in the humility process. Admittedly the solution that James prescribes for us isn t fun, but the results are much better than that alternative. If we remain in our selfishness we ll continue to fight with friends and be at war with God. The solution to our selfishness requires us to obey a number of challenging commands, but they re all for our benefit. God promises to do His part too. Notice that He promises to draw near to us (v. 8) and lift us up (v. 10). Decision Whether you re in a fight with a friend right now or not, selfishness and worldliness are constantly tugging at our hearts and lives. I want to challenge you this week to make humility before God a priority. We have to humble ourselves if we re going to have a fighting chance. One practical way we can do this is by obeying the commands for humility that James prescribes for us. Take a moment now to look over the list of commands again. Oh Grow Up! Page 307

What step will you take? Submit to God Resist the devil Draw near to God Cleanse your hands Purify your hearts Grieve, mourn, weep Humble yourself before God Which of these do you think God wants you to work on this week? Go ahead and choose one now. Share your answer with your small group leader this week and ask him to check up on you this week to see how you accomplished it. Next week when we meet you can talk about how you chose to end the rumble by being humble. Sticky Statement End the rumble by being humble. Small Group Discussion Questions Teacher s Note: Some of these questions require students to evaluate their hearts and motives. That can be a difficult thing for any person to do. Introspection and self-evaluation are challenging. Be patient as your students wrestle through this. Possible answers are provided to help get your discussion started, if needed. 1. According to James 4, what causes fights? (The goal is to help the students recognize that fights come from our selfish desires. If they need help, refer them to James 4:1-2. Possible answers: selfishness, passions, desires, etc.) 2. James taught us that friendship with the world means we re cheating on God. What are some ways we can cheat on God with the world? (If students get stuck, remind them to think back to the answers they wrote earlier around the drawing of the body. Possible answers: wealth, popularity, pleasure through illegal (or legal) substances, seeking physical/sexual gratification outside of marriage. Remind them that some things aren t bad necessarily. But when we re willing to fight or sin to get them, then we have a problem.) 3. At the end of our lesson you were asked to identify the command you think God might want you to work on. Which of the commands did you select? In what ways is this humbling? (The commands were: submit to God; resist the devil; draw near to God; cleanse your hands; purify your hearts; grieve, mourn, and weep; and humble yourself. Answers will vary significantly. As they share, have them explain how this shows humility. If they get stuck on this, prompt other students to help them. Be sure to ask permission from each student to follow up with them this week to see if they accomplished this.) Oh Grow Up! Page 308