WEEK TWO: RECONCILING GOALS To reflect on our individual experiences of living in a society that is largely divided and unreconciled. To share honestly about these experiences and build empathy towards others struggles and pain in these areas. To find vision, hope and encouragement in the Gospel to move towards genuine reconciliation. TIPS We are on a long journey together as a church community. This series is not going to resolve long-held and deeply-felt issues, but by God s grace it will help us move towards helpful resolutions. Don t feel pressure to cover (or fix) everything tonight. This is one of many, many steps. Tonight is far less about arriving at solutions to these difficult issues, and more about understanding what it means to engage each other on these issues with humility, compassion and honesty. Make it a priority to create a safe space for the evening. Lead the way in demonstrating the kind of humility, compassion and vulnerability that will allow people to share honestly about where they find themselves. HEADLINES
(These headlines serve as a reminder to you as a discussion facilitator of the basics of the Sunday sermon, as well as functioning as a helpful suggested introduction to your discussion.) In our first week, we looked at how God calls us to embrace diversity and not to see it as a liability. This week, we are considering the very real implications of what this means in a country in which division and separation are far closer at hand than unity and harmony. How do we continue to take those steps forward in the journey of reconciliation that we believe God has called us to? What does it look like to have difficult conversations that are saturated by the grace of Jesus? The video provided as part of the resources for this week presents a discussion between Richard Lundie of Common Good and Mahlatse Mashua of Ravi Zacharias International Ministries. It is divided into two sections. The first section focuses on the experiences of a range of people living in South Africa. The second section speaks into the hope that the Gospel gives us for a reconciled society. The video is there to help generate discussion. We can achieve only so much preaching from the front - the relational space of small group is where a necessary deeper and more personal engagement can happen. This evening is a prime opportunity for people to share their own experiences and thoughts honestly, and in a safe environment. Suggested steps for the evening Pray and invite God s Spirit to guide your discussions Hear from some different perspectives (from the first part of the video or the end of these notes) Create a moment for personal reflection (in writing) Share responses and discuss Watch the second part of the video Discuss Pray PRAYER Open in prayer.
REFLECTION Different perspectives: heads and tails You can either show the first part of the video - it will tell you when to pause - or you can read the different perspectives at the end of these notes. These perspectives are shared in the video. This is an individual exercise that allows people to express their thoughts in writing before sharing them verbally. Aim for about 8 minutes, but give as much time as is necessary for people to complete their thoughts. 1. What parts of the perspectives shared stood out most to you? Why? 2. How would you describe your current experience of living in South Africa? (Use the perspectives given in the video or at the end of this guide as examples.) DISCUSSION 3. Ask people to share from what they have written down about their experiences of living in South Africa. If this takes the greater part of the evening, it is time well spent. 4. What makes it difficult or easy to share honestly from your experiences? (You can ask this at the same time as the previous question.) A caution is to not get into justifying our views, but to rather reflect on where our hearts are right now. People will likely share at a level they are comfortable with, and hearing others struggles is immensely helpful in normalizing how difficult this is - and how we need gospel truth to speak into these areas of life. 5. When sharing your story, how did you want people to respond? What can you learn about listening to others stories? A Gospel perspective Show the second half of the video. Alternatively, you can go straight into question 6. FURTHER DISCUSSION
6. Why would reconciliation in this country matter to God? (You can reference such scriptures as 2 Corinthians 5:14-21; Galatians 3:26-28; Ephesians 4:2-6.) 7. What gives you hope to see meaningful reconciliation in this country? 8. What discourages you or makes you doubt that reconciliation is possible? 9. How can we help each other as Christ followers and members of a local church community to pursue reconciliation? PRAY First, pray for each other, asking God to help us each move forward in this journey. Ask God for divine interactions and moments for softening your heart and growing in courage to pursue this. Second, pray for our church, asking God to help us become a picture of the future that God would have our nation become. Third, pray for our society, asking God for grace upon the hostile, the hurting and the helpless. AND These are shared in the video. As a white Afrikaner in this country, my identity is always under attack. The rituals that affirm my culture are heavily scrutinised and despised. My language is under attack on TV, at University and other social spaces. I am not a racist and I want to contribute towards making this country a better place. I am prepared to do so economically, but I have no place at the table in the national dialogue of this country. My only place, it seems, is to apologise and repent of my white privilege, feel ashamed of my whiteness and make restitution to a system that does not separate between my hard work and my inheritance. I am told that I am not African or will never be African enough which means that I ve also lost the right to define who I am
You should stop feeling sorry for yourself, welcome to the reality of South Africa. You are only experiencing a piece of what many black people have had to live with their entire lives through generations. You are not welcome at the table because, in keeping with your colonialist attitude, you want to dictate the terms of the dialogue. Your recently-found generosity and desire to give back is a way of pacifying your guilt and infantise black people by playing the role of their saviour and their helper. * * * * I was the first in my family to go to university. My parents starved themselves to get me through my studies. I am haunted by the bill that I was served at the end of my studies on top of the pressure to provide for my family. I have to build a roof for my parents, school my siblings and feed my family. I will be trying to build a career while living under such crushing social pressure. I worked two jobs while studying so I can help my parents pay for my education. I don t deny the wrongs of the past and our need to right those wrongs, but it is painful to get less recognition for my hard work or have my struggles condescended upon because I am white. I have fewer prospects of getting a job or a promotion because of corrective policies. I still believe and say this is my country, but laws like affirmative action erode my sense of belonging here. * * * * I feel like as a post-apartheid young person, I still live under the cloud of an excluded black person. I feel like an outsider in a country I keep being told we won back. When will I be South African enough not be stared at when I m in certain social and academic spaces? As a post-apartheid young white person, I feel like the social spaces where I won t be judged and rejected for my whiteness are fast being taken from me. I don t stick around on campus because I want to be in places where being a white person is not a curse, but just normal and I am accepted just for being me. * * * *
Foreigners are only coming here to live in our country illegally. They commit crime, they take our healthcare, our jobs, our women. Many of them are living better than us in our own country. We are already living like peasants and we don t have enough. We can t afford to have more of them. They must go back. I left my country that is being ravaged by war and poverty. It was hard to leave my identity, my wife and children without knowing if they would someday join me. I have two degrees in Psychology but I am grateful that I can work as a car guard. Work is work, especially when you don t have to fear that you will be killed with a panga while doing it. I am reminded every day that I don t belong here. I am so homesick. My hope is that my children will not know what the sting of war and alienation feels like; that they will have a fresh start. I know that people here have their own problems and challenges, but they don t know that while I am at the bottom of this society, it is still much better than being in my home country.