CAPITAL BIBLE CHURCH May 31, 2009 SERMON NOTES PASTOR BILL HAKEN Total Forgiveness How to Forgive & Love your Enemies Matthew 5:44 Not Everyone We Must Forgive Is an Enemy Sometimes we will have to forgive people who do not know they hurt us, or if they do, they have done so unintentionally. But we must forgive anyone toward whom we feel anger, because it is us, not them, who are in need of healing and help. I ve had to forgive people who distanced themselves from me because they did not need me anymore, or who forgot what I did for them last month or last year! They say, what did you do for me today? I have to forgive those who no longer approve of my message or ministry. I ve found that I can t please everybody for some I m too liberal, for others I m too dogmatic! Oh well like my father taught me, you can never please all the people all the time, but if you ll preach the Bible to please God, you ll also please the people who are pleasing God. I ve also had some real enemies who not only opposed me and my preaching, but actively sought to bring me down, lied about me and tried to destroy my reputation. I ve had to forgive them totally, and by God s grace I believe I have. Here s a great principle that I ve found to be true: The greater the hurt, the greater the blessing that will come with forgiveness. The chief motivation to forgive is not only the promise of mercy that God extends to us, but also the greater reward that is promised, either here or in heaven. Listen to what Jesus said: Matthew 5:11 Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12a Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven If you have a real, relentless, genuine enemy someone who is not a figment of your anxiety or imagination you should see yourself as sitting on a mine of 24 carat gold. Not everybody is that blessed! Thank God for this person! This could be the best thing that ever happened to you (if you handle him correctly )! What do we mean by an enemy? A person who wants to harm you or hurt you or your reputation someone who would rejoice at your downfall or lack of success. They would never pray that God would bless or prosper you, but rather that God would bring you down.
An enemy is a person who hates you, although very few would admit to the word hate. They just don t like you, or despise you, or can t stand the sight of you in other words, they hate you An enemy is somebody who will despitefully use you and take unfair advantage of you. If they know you are a Christian, who will not retaliate and sue them, they will take advantage of you in business and exploit your kindness. They might even say libelous things in print because they know you will not sue. An enemy will often persecute you; the Greek word for persecute means to follow or to pursue. Enemies will pursue you because they are obsessed with you, much like King Saul was obsessed with David because he was more popular than Saul. The persecutor s main tactic is to discredit you and kill you, not with a sword or a gun, but with the tongue or a pen. Why in the world would I say you are blessed to have an enemy? The blessing of having an enemy. Well, because this doesn t happen to everyone. You are chosen, for behind your enemy is the hand of God. God has raised up your enemy, maybe just for you! King Saul s pursuit of David was the best thing that could have happened to him at that time it was a vital part of his preparation to become king. He had the anointing of the Lord through Samuel as told in 1 Samuel 16:13, without the crown, and God wanted to make sure that when the day came for him to wear the crown he would be ready. Remember, I shared with you before the quote from Martin Lloyd-Jones: The worst thing that can happen to a man is to succeed before he is ready. God raised up Saul as an enemy to David to keep him on his toes, to teach him to be sensitive to the Spirit (1 Samuel 24:5), and to teach him total forgiveness. When you and I totally forgive our enemy, we cross over into the supernatural realm. I say this because it is not natural to forgive and love our enemies. I believe that we are talking about the highest level of spirituality that exists. It is a feat greater than climbing Mt. Everest, because forgiving an enemy is to climb the spiritual Everest. It marks the highest watermark in anyone s spiritual pilgrimage. And it is within reach of anyone of us. You do not need anything special, no higher education or special background is needed for us to do this exceedingly rare thing forgiving and loving an enemy which defies natural explanation. And when you do that the blessing you receive is beyond words to describe. Now, you might wonder
Why do I have enemies? You ll notice that since Jesus said love your enemies He assumes that we will have some, and most people do. Sadly, many, if not most of them will be from within the community of faith, from the family of God. Much persecution comes from those who claim to believe in God as much as you do. Usually the things that divide Christians are not theological, but personal your enemy just may not like you! Your personality, the way you are too quiet, too talkative, too loud, too soft you get the idea It s often not something you can do anything about, and it s no fault of your own. They might be angry with God for blessing you, or putting you where you are. There will always be someone who will be jealous and seek to bring you down. If you ve been blessed with a good reputation, or good background or family, don t be surprised if someone resents it. Unfortunately, your enemy usually doesn t know that he or she is probably angry with God While a case could be made that the motivation behind your enemy is the devil, along with the sinful flesh, the ultimate reason you and I have an enemy is that it fits God s purpose. Why? It s what we need. It helps to humble us lest we take ourselves too seriously. An enemy shows us what we are really like. God often raises up an enemy to see if we really want to be like Jesus. So, don t be angry at your enemy God is at work in your heart. But, you might think, doesn t God want me to succeed? The answer is yes, if your success comes from Him. Psalm 37:4 If your goals stay the same, the longer you love God it may be a good sign that you will reach them in His timetable. 1 Peter 5:6 says that God will exalt you in due time. God gives us enemies to keep us on our toes, and on our knees. Remember, He is sovereign and He knows exactly what we need. Whether your enemy is temporary or a life sentence, never forget that God is at the bottom of it all. Your enemies objective may be to punish, to put you in your place they may even think they are doing God a favor by doing this. But even though their motives may be carnal or fleshly, God s purpose is for our sanctification, our holiness. Jesus gives us the greatest challenge there ever was simply put, to love (agape) our enemies. This is selfless love, self giving love not based on how you feel. Love is not what you feel it is what you do it is a conscious choice to forgive, even when we don t feel like it. If you wait until you feel like, you probably never will forgive. You must do it because it is right, because it is a choice that you have made based upon an act of your will, not your feelings.
Nelson Mandela is often asked how he emerged from all those years in a south African prison without being bitter. He gave this simply reply: Bitterness only hurts oneself. Sadly, many people realize that bitterness is self impoverishing, but they continue to harbor it. How did Nelson Mandela overcome his feelings? He said, If you hate, you will give them your heart and mind. Don t give those two things away. The paradox in total forgiveness is that it simultaneously involves both selfishness and unselfishness. It is selfish in that you do not want to hurt yourself by holding on to bitterness; and it is unselfish in that you commit yourself to the well-being of your enemy. Really, as Christians we have been forgiven so much, that we forfeit our fellowship with God and blessings here on earth if we do not forgive. The mistake we make is that we try to justify our unforgiveness by comparing it to someone else whom we think, is much worse a rapist, a murderer, a child abuser, a murderer. But the problem is, we fail to realize and remember that God not only knows the sins we have committed, but also the sins we are capable of, that we would commit if we knew we could get away with it without being caught. The truth is, given the right circumstances, pressure, temptation and timing, any of us can match the evil we ourselves have to forgive in others. If we deny this, it is because we don t believe and understand what the Bible means when it says in Jeremiah 17: Jeremiah 17: 9 The human heart is most deceitful and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? 10 But I know! I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve. Now, God could say, you better forgive or else, but instead of that, He lovingly, gently gives us some very practical reasons for forgiving. Reasons for loving and forgiving our enemies: 1. Consequences if you do forgive In one word, the answer is Peace, Freedom, 2. Consequences if you don t forgive. Jesus put this very strongly when He said in Matthew 6:15 that if you will not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. That doesn t mean you lose your salvation or your place in heaven. It means you lose the fellowship with God, the relationship is broken because you have an unforgiving spirit. Also, often times your
health is hurt, countless physical ailments come from this, as do sleepless nights, premature aging, lines on your face, and terrible anxiety. Also, as we saw last week, Satan gains an advantage over you (2 Cor. 2:11). And the Holy Spirit is grieved (Eph. 4:30), and that results in a loss of spiritual power or anointing on your life. Steps in Totally Forgiving (in first sermon 4.19.09) 1. Tell no one else about it. 2. Be gracious to the offender. 3. Say nothing to make them feel guilty (Joseph & his brothers) 4. Let them save face. 5. Protect them from their greatest fear exposure 6. Make it a lifelong commitment If we say we have no sin (bitterness) we deceive ourselves 1 John 1:8 Do not judge and you ll not be judged, do not condemn and you ll not be condemned, forgive and you ll be forgiven. Luke 6:37 7. Pray for them not a perfunctory prayer, not a God deal with them prayer, but a prayer for God to forgive them and bless them. John Calvin said, doing this is exceedingly difficult. And as Chrysostom said, it is the very highest summit of self-control. This is the hardest thing of all for 3 reasons: 1. It goes totally against your flesh. 2. Nobody will every know you are doing it. 3. Your heart could break when God answers your prayer and truly blesses them, like nothing had happened. 5 Stages in praying for our enemies: 1. Duty because you have to. 2. Debt you are conscious of what God has forgiven you, your own debt of sin 3. Desire you start to pray for them because you really want to 4. Delight a step further; you love doing it! 5. Durability it becomes a lifestyle, it has become a habit and it no longer seems extra-ordinary. Jackie Pullinger said, To the spiritual person, the super natural seems natural. All this is done in secret, behind the scenes. The consequences are that God might answer your prayer! Your enemy might become your friend! You say, I don t want them as a friend! That s ok; God might change your heart as you pray and change them. Why
one good rule of thumb to follow is Treat your enemy now the way you will be glad you did should you become friends. The greatest positive consequence is the knowledge that you have pleased God. Nothing pleases God more than loving and praying for our enemies. It is significant that Job s troubles stopped when he prayed for his friends who were persecutors and tormentors during his suffering. Job 42:10 After Job prayed for them, God made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before. Forgiveness is not total forgiveness until we have prayed for our enemies and asked God to bless them. A wonderful phrase in Hebrews 9:14, and 10:29 how much more The course taught in Leeds, was paid for by a grant from the John Templeton Foundation, on the belief that forgiveness can be good for your health. Holding a grudge leads to illnesses ranging from common colds to heart disease because of all the stored up anger and stress. Dr Sandi Mann, a psychologist at the University of Central Lancashire, believes that there is a strong link between our emotions and our immune system. Now, if the world is catching on to the teachings of Jesus about forgiveness and gaining health, and peace and happiness from them, without even acknowledging Him or the Holy Spirit how much more should Christians experience this? Ten Steps to Freedom over Bitterness 1. Stop excusing, pardoning or rationalizing. 2. Pinpoint the actions that have hurt you. 3. Spend time thinking of ways in which your life could be more satisfying if you would let go of your grievances. 4. Try replacing angry thoughts about the badness of the offender with thoughts about how they are also a human being and vulnerable to harm. 5. Identify with the offender s probable state of mind. Understand the offender s history while not condoning their actions. 6. Spend some time developing greater compassion for the offender. 7. Become more aware that you have needed other people s forgiveness in the past. 8. Make a heartfelt resolution not to pass on your own pain.
9. Spend time appreciating the sense of purpose and direction that comes after steps 1 8. 10. Enjoy the sense of emotional release and freedom that comes when the burden of a grudge melts away. Enjoy too the feeling of good will and mercy you have shown. The course taught in Leeds, was paid for by a grant from the John Templeton Foundation, on the belief that forgiveness can be good for your health. Holding a grudge leads to illnesses ranging from common colds to heart disease because of all the stored up anger and stress. Dr Sandi Mann, a psychologist at the University of Central Lancashire, believes that there is a strong link between our emotions and our immune system. Excerpt from London Daily Express article, Can You Learn to Forgive? by Susan Pape, (June 5, 2000).