THE PICK UP LINE written by Scott Nelson 1735 Woods Way Lake Geneva, WI 53147 262-290-6957 scottn7@gmail.com
FADE IN: INT. BAR - NIGHT is a early twenties white woman, tending bar. She is tall, and very pretty. The bar is small, fairly nondescript. A couple men sit at the bar. A few couples are at small tables around the room. MUSIC plays in the background. walks in. He is tall, thirties, white. He doesn't draw much attention as he enters, and heads to the bar. Signaling Jenn, she comes over. Get ya something? Beer. Whatever you got. She goes to get him a glass of beer, and returns. (CONT D) Quiet evening? 'Bout normal. You look like you could use a little company. OK, now just hold on buddy. You just walked in and already you are kicking a pick up line at me? What? Me? No, no. I just said that you look like you could use a little company. That's all. Can't we all use a little company? She thinks about this, and relaxes. OK. Sorry. But you can understand. I hear them all back here. Every pick up line you can imagine. I get a little defensive.
2. No apologies needed. But, you know, if I wanted, I could use a pick up line that would be almost guaranteed to work. Really? Yep, really. OK. I like your moxie. Go for it. Give me your line. He looks around to make sure no one can hear him except Jenn. I'm a time traveler. Really? That's your line? Yep. I'm a time traveler. From seventy five years in the future. So what'd think? I think that's a miserable pick up line. Why? She leans in. Because it tells me you're crazy. Or a liar. Or both. And I wouldn't go out with either one. But what if it's true? Wouldn't that make for an interesting date? Playing along for a sec. Yeah, sure, that would be really cool. But there's just one problem. What's that?
3. She laughs. You see, I'm from Saturn. And we Saturnians don't date time travelers. Ahh, ok. Very cute. Very cute. But I know you're not from Saturn. Really? How? You don't have five legs and three eyes. Fair enough. But I also know you aren't a time traveler. How can you be so sure? Come on! That's not possible. Everyone knows that. It wasn't possible back here, now. It will be in about fifty five years. Well, you can't prove it. She starts to walk away. (CONT D) Wait, maybe you can. How? Show me a coin. From the future. He hangs his head a bit. Can't.
4. Why not? Coins are gone. Been gone a long time. OK, well, then, tell me about the future. Tell me who wins the Super Bowl this year. I have no idea. Ha! You see. No time traveler. No, I have no idea because it's a rather unimportant event over time. Let me ask you, who won the World Series in 1989? I don't know. He takes out a coin. Exactly. You know big things, like Presidents and such. But those smaller events, for a particular year, you don't remember them. Don't you have some sort of fancy database in the future? Someplace you can look it up? I mean, Google still exists, doesn't it? Yes, we do. But those databases don't exist, and they run on machines that haven't been invented yet. And no, we don't have Google anymore. Then pick something else. Show me you can tell me the future. OK. How about this.
5. Ha! You do have coins. Let me see that. She grabs the coin. It reads 1975. (CONT D) Oh, this is old. Yep. Family heirloom. That is why I carry it. Coins have been gone for a long time. He takes the coin back, flips it, and catches it, covered. Jenn looks at him, waiting. (CONT D) This coin is heads. He takes his hand away. It's heads. Jenn bursts out laughing. She sizes him up. She pauses. You have got to be the worst time traveler I have ever seen. So you admit it? That you are terrible at this? Yeah, I admit that. (CONT D) I got to admit, I'm not sure what to make of you. (CONT D) Tell me this, IF you are a time traveler, what are you doing back here? Maybe I'm here just for you. Me?
6. Yep. What if I told you that in the future you are very important? And men all want to meet you and be with you? What if I told you that you're a regular Helen of Troy? Did you meet her too? Good one, good one. Very funny. She gets a bit more serious. Really? Is that all true? I have no idea. She reacts to being suckered in. (CONT D) But it might be. I don't know. So you didn't come to see me? No, but that's a fortunate benefit of having come back. No, I am more of, what I guess you could call me, a historian. I am here to study this time period, this place. Why? Why not? Her eyes get big. Well, nothing special happens around here. Nothing special has happened... yet. Is something big about to happen?
7. She kind of smiles. So you believe me? (CONT D) OK. Time to bring out the big guns. Oh? What if I told you that we have already had this conversation, about one hour from now? We have? I mean... we will... Wait, what? Yep. We covered all this ground already. And I just couldn't convince you then. So, we agreed that I would come back one hour, to before I showed up in the first place. And, I would give you, this. He holds up a folded note. What's that? It's from you. To you. He hands her the note. She opens it, very puzzled. It reads "I think that this guy is a complete nut case. But if you are reading this, he's telling you the truth. Jenn". She looks stunned. How... how could you...? I just delivered the note that you wrote. So, what do you think? Am I telling the truth? I don't know. Maybe, but I don't know for sure. (MORE)
8. (CONT D) (She looks long at the note.) But I have to admit, you have piqued my interest. At least a little. So it worked? My pick up line? She gives him a big smile. Yeah, I guess it did. Good. You free for dinner? Tonight? Yeah, I could eat. I get off in about two hours. Mind if I hang out and wait for you? Couldn't you just jump ahead until I am done? Cute. He looks around. Sure, hang out. We don't need the barstool. Just keep ordering, OK? Wait, won't you run into you, I mean, in an hour and all? Don't worry about that. I will take care of... me. (CONT D) Say, where is the washroom? She signals toward the back, and he gets up. (CONT D) Be back in a sec. He looks over at, an older, middle aged guy sitting nearby.
9. (CONT D) Careful with that glass, buddy. He heads for the washroom Chad is clearly a barfly. He looks over at Jenn, who makes eye contact. Wow! And what was that comment about my glass? No idea. That was all pretty weird. But there's something cute about him. I don't know. You be careful sweetie. You know how guys are that come in here. Like you? Exactly like me. That's why I say to be careful. (CONT D) So? You believe him? I don't know. It's just so crazy, maybe it's true. Hell of a line, I gotta give him that. She laughs as she checks on other customers. He takes a drink. The glass slips out of hand and shatters, cutting his hand. Jenn runs over. He pauses. God, damn it! You OK? Let me get you a band aid. Yeah, yeah. I just wasn't careful..
10. (CONT D) Didn't that weird fellow say that I should be careful? The two look at each other, a bit confused, a bit of realization dawning. INT. WASHROOM - NIGHT Aaron wanders into the restroom. As he enters, he doesn't notice the two AGENTS who wait in the room. The are middle aged, sullen, dressed in dark clothes, military haircuts. As the door closes AGENT 1 moves to block the door, and Aaron becomes aware of them. AGENT 2 What are you doing here? Hey! Guys. I didn't think you would find me. At least, not this fast. AGENT 2 You know the rules. No time traveling without authorization. But guys, did you see that girl out there? That's Jennifer Olsen. IFER OLSEN! Do you know what that means? Jennifer Olsen! AGENT 2 Don't care. Rules are rules. He reaches for a device on his wrist, and pushes a button. A bright white light appears, then fades and all three are gone. INT. BAR - NIGHT The light is visible from under the door, and then is gone. No one sees it. Jenn continues to work the bar, checking the clock from time to time. First it reads nine, then nine fifteen, nine thirty, ten to ten. Chad sees her watching. He has a band aid on his thumb.
11. I think he got cold feet. She seems anxious, and looks at the note from before. You checked the bathroom? Yep. No sign of him. I'm sorry kiddo. I think he snuck out. She seems disappointed. At that moment, another guy walks in. It is Agent 2 from the washroom, but now we know him as. He sits in the same seat. Beer, please. She brings it over. Chad leans in. (CONT D) You look a little down in the dumps. Something wrong? She got stood up. Oh, sorry to hear that. But this may be your lucky day. Oh, really? Yes, really. I didn't think this was how our first date was going to go, but whatever. Our first date? Yes. Pretty sure of yourself, aren't you? Well, you're Jennifer Olsen, right?
12. She recoils, scared. Lewis is stunned. What are you, some kind of stalker? Hardly. But what I am is much more fantastic. I know you aren't going to believe what I'm going to tell you, but it's all true. Let me guess. You're a time traveler. Why, yes I am. I haven't been here already, have I? She shakes her head and walks away, crumpling up the note as she does. THE END FADE OUT.