For I Will Give You Rest By Edward Kurath Copyright 2010 Divinely Designed

Workbook For I Will Give You Rest By Edward Kurath Copyright 2010 Divinely Designed 1

Introduction How Can Your Life Change? The purpose of this workbook is to help you apply the biblical truths taught in I Will Give You Rest, for the rest of your life. There are two steps that have to occur for you to experience change in your life. 1. You first need to learn about the provision Jesus has made (read and study the book). 2. Then you need to apply those truths to your life (pray about your own bitter roots). For most of us in our culture, studying the content of the book is more comfortable. Applying the truths is much more uncomfortable; but without it, your life won t change. Because Content and Application are such different parts of the process, we are including questions to help you with both steps. Copyright Permission This Workbook is copyrighted, but you have permission to print and duplicate it in any quantity for personal or ministerial use. Permission is not given for you to reproduce the workbook for sale. The Content Questions were developed by Stacey S. Myers, M.S., M.Div. with minor editing by Edward Kurath. She is an Associate Pastor at Latter Rain Christian Fellowship, New York City, and co-facilitated a weekly adult bible study of I Will Give Your Rest. The Content workbook was used to reinforce the study, provide opportunity for reflection, and to focus the small group discussions. The Application Questions were developed in conjunction with Beth Shewchuk, MS, NCC. Beth is a Christian counselor in Spokane, Washington. She has taught seminars based upon I Will Give You Rest. You may contact her at counselorshewchuk@gmail.com. 2

Table of Contents Chapter Page Chapter 1 4 Chapter 2 6 Chapter 3 9 Chapter 4 13 Chapter 5 17 Chapter 6 21 Chapter 7 26 Chapter 8 29 Chapter 9 34 Chapter 10 40 Chapter 11 45 Chapter 12 53 Chapter 13 56 Chapter 14 60 Chapter 16 64 Chapter 17 65 Chapter 18 66 Chapter 19 67 Appendix B 68 3

Content Questions: I Will Give You Rest Chapter I I Will Give You Rest Ed Kurath says that Jesus has provided two miraculous gifts. First, He provided a way for us to get to. Second, He provided for us. Ed Kurath went on to say that despite these two miracles, he found that he couldn t live a life of faith without experiencing misery, pain, failure and condemnation. He said that our Christian life is not what we know it should be and that the harder we try, the more we fail. Do you share his viewpoint? If so, describe what makes you feel this way. If not, describe what makes you feel this way. What does Ed Kurath say is at the heart of our dilemma? a) We don t read the Bible enough b) We prefer to figure things out on our own c) God has to reveal His Word to us d) We are not familiar with the ways of God HOW? The provision through Jesus exists, but you need as to to lay hold of those promises. Above all, apply the. Jesus provision can your life, but you need to if you are to appropriate what He has provided. To be healed, you first need to, but then you need to by speaking. 4

Application Questions 1. Have you tried to be a good Christian, and failed? 2. If so, have you become discouraged and wondered if it was even possible for you to please God? 5

Content Questions The Reality God Created Chapter 2 Why You Are Stuck When God created the universe, He created it to operate in an orderly way in accordance with unchangeable laws. According to Ed Kurath, the three realms of experience include: 1) 2) 3) We cannot or the laws or laws with our. And we need a that exceeds. Jesus goes on to say the way we can keep the of God is to be into. The Illusion of Our Willpower Our is so firmly in our and that whenever we are in, without thinking we on our and. In spiritual matters, we have to: the problem in the powerful provision Jesus has given us to stop the operation of God s laws against us. by praying. God s Laws Bring Good or Bad If we our lives with what brings (we the Law ), we receive consequences ( ). 6

On the other hand, if we our lives with what brings (we the Law ), we experience ( ). The System That Has Enough Power According to Ed Kurath, who was sent by the Father to provide a way out for us? What is the only cure for our sins?!!!!!! The Blood and the Cross Even though Jesus paid the penalty for our sin when He died on the cross 2000 years ago, we need to do something to bring the benefits of that provision into our lives. Only when we (we pray to repent and are forgiven) do we from the provision He has for the of our. There Are Two Ways to Stop Bad Behavior There are two possible sources of bad behavior. One is in the realm and the other is in the realm. To undesirable behavior we need to use the that is effectual in that. Undesirable behaviors in the realm are manifest in our and. (Look at the Chart on p. 33) Undesirable behaviors that have their source in the realm are, and and resist our efforts to overcome them. Bad Roots and Bad Fruit Read Matthew 7:17-18, 20 - What does this Scripture say to you? 7

By their very nature, bad roots produce whereas good roots produce. Fruit will always reveal the root!! Steps to Freedom Once you that your willpower is to stop the bad behavior, you can recognize that you are dealing with a problem in your life (bad fruit). Then you must find the (the bad root). You must track from the bad to the bad (from the behavior to the cause). Since the fruit always comes from a bad root, and fruit always comes from a good root, the only way to stop the tree from bearing bad fruit is to remove the bad root and substitute the good root (Jesus). Application Questions 1. Where in your life have you experienced good results with psychological will power? 2. In what areas has your will power been unsuccessful? 3. Is there a pattern you dislike that is frustrating you? 4. How do you feel about these things you have tried to change and failed? 5. What do you believe you need to be victorious? 8

Content Questions Chapter 3 Remove All the Bad Roots Ed Kurath says that often Christians erroneously believe that we re cleansed one time like a when we accept Jesus into our heart. Instead, he said, we need to see our cleansing like that of a, where we invite Jesus into each compartment and in so doing become healed. This is a process, and not a event. Once Jesus has taken up in that particular place in our, He produces the automatically, because can do nothing but produce good fruit. As He that part of our, His nature actually ours in that area. In your own words, describe what God promises to do in Ezekiel 36:27: We need to continue being as God shows us areas in our that need. Ripeness Ed Kurath says that the sanctification process can go slowly. What explanation does he offer for the slowness of this process? 9

Describe an experience you ve had in the healing of your heart. Where there layers that were removed over a period of time? How did you experience the love of the Father throughout the process? Inside-Out! John 14:15 says, If you Me, keep My. How can we reconcile this with what we have been discovering about our inability to keep His commandments in our own strength? Read John 15: 1-10 We can only God by first being changed into the of and then we will the commandments because that is now our new. The has to change first, and then the will change. Changing our does not change our. 10

Keeping God s Commandments Ed Kurath encourages us to focus on the and not the which can lead to striving to keep the commandments in our own strength. When we find it difficult to obey a commandment, we have three choices: 1) We can the command 2) We can the command in our own strength 3) We can have the Lord deal with the through the blood of Jesus. We Plant New Bad Roots What sin does Ed Kurath say will produce the most damage and destruction? What does Matthew 7:1-2 say? Not Just a Sick Few Romans 3:23 says: Even though we have the tendency to sin often, we have the living presence of Jesus, and he provides His blood to wash us clean every time. There is no shortage of the blood of Jesus. Through this provision, He has provided the way for us to be set free from the sins that beset us, by changing us into His image. 11

Application Questions 1. How do you experience your honeycomb (pg40)? 2. Have you ever thought: I ve tried so hard to keep God s commands to fill in blank and always fail; what kind of Christian am I? 3. Write down specific details of areas where you see that your life is not going well. Note them in your journal or notebook. 4. How do you react to this chapter? 5. If you have further questions you may check out the footnotes and endnotes on chapter 2 & 3. 12

Content Questions Chapter 4 Judging Causes Problems According to Ed Kurath, what sin causes the most problems in our lives? There is Both Good and Bad Judging Judging is not always sin. There are four types of judging (three of which are good and one that is sin). What are the three types of good judging? a) b) c) What are the characteristics of the one type of bad judging? The Sinful Judging is Destructive When we find ourselves the things that we, the that is causing this is almost always a. Adam and Eve took the because something of them wanted to be like. When we another we are taking the of. We are doing the because we do not to take of us and to others when they against us (and therefore ). We we must take the into our own ; because if we don t, we nobody will. 13

Our Weakness When we that we have been, we react with, and. Since in this world entails lots of, we do a lot of. Ed Kurath points to the good news in our weakness. He says, As as you, you can and be. The root can be out as soon as it is. How Can You Tell the Difference? How can I tell whether I have judged someone in the way that I am not supposed to?. When I realize that I have him in the way that I am not supposed to, I can him and be by Jesus. Ed Kurath notes that when we the, our will know and tell us ( ) by a feeling of in place of. Perceived Wounding The author made the statement, we automatically respond to perceived wounding with bitterness, judgment, and blame. It doesn t matter whether the other person actually, factually, wounded us. What counts is that we feel that they did. How do you respond to this statement? 14

My wounds and judgments make me more to how others around me. As the Lord these areas, I will often, because I will less wounding often. He further states that we don t react less often because that tendency has gone away or is being healed. What reason does he give for this change of heart? How Judgments Plant Bitter Roots in Us Allow the Holy Spirit to reveal any areas of woundedness and minister to your heart as you review the chart on page 58 It is God s Mercy That We Feel Emotional Pain! If we did not the emotional, we wouldn t there is something inside, and the would remain in us. THANK GOD FOR OUR FEELINGS!!! God Changes us Into His Image What is God s intention for those who believe? It is therefore important to realize that what is going in our life is not because of what others, but it is because of our to what they did. The good news is that there is a cure for the damage the sinning has caused. Application Questions 1. Who has treated you unfairly in your lifetime? Make a list of them in order of how strongly you feel toward them. 2. How would you feel about letting them off the hook? 15

3. When you cut your finger (or other mistakes) who do you usually blame? 4. Over this next week make a note of when something does not go right for you. 5. Where do you see things going wrong because of judgments? 16

Chapter 5 Forgiving Ends These Problems Content Questions Forgiveness is Essential According to Ed Kurath, the only way to be set free from the influence of bitter root judgments is: Forgiveness is essential because it is the only way we can be changed into the image of Jesus. What Does it Mean to Forgive? Most Christians have been influenced by the definition of forgiveness which may not be the same as. Do you think it s possible to forgive and forget? Once you what God meant when He told you to, you will find it much easier to from your. What Forgiveness is NOT Forgiveness is not: 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) 6) 17

What Forgiveness IS Forgiveness is deciding not to hold the other person in debt. It says, Even though you me and owe me a, I am it off. A Second Obstacle to Forgiving Not only can we misunderstand what forgiveness really is, but we may also that if we give up our that we won t be. We Are the Ones Who Suffer What does Galatians 6:7 say? And, what does this Scripture say to you? Remove Bitter Roots Immediately What does Ed Kurath say happens when bitter roots are not dealt with immediately? Who Do We Need to Forgive? While it is necessary to forgive our parents, siblings and anyone that we may have judged, we also need to forgive and because of judgments we have rendered. Importance of Forgiving God It is the perception of wrongdoing, rather than the reality, that has caused us to judge God. But because our perceptions are our reality, we need to forgive God. 18

Allow the Holy Spirit to reveal any areas that you may need to forgive God. Importance of Forgiving Yourself Do you find yourself more inclined to judge: Others Yourself self-judging is very destructive. The thing that feels about speaking to in forgiveness is not that we are to ourselves, but that we are saying things. Elements For Accomplishing Forgiveness R C R F A F A T L T F B R How to Pray Jesus always on the, not the, and we can t Him. Therefore it is always important that we as we feel led by the, and NOT simply recite a prayer, as though it were a formula. The Importance of Words The words that I bring my into. How to Forgive God and Yourself According to Ed Kurath, when you judge you have two things to do: 1) 2) 19

Application Questions 1. Think about some things that went wrong this last week. How did you react? 2. Reflect on an experience where you did not receive forgiveness from someone you care about. How did that feel? 3. Go over the names of the people you feel strongly toward (the list of people resulting from Chapter 4, Application Question #1). By each name write one word which summarizes the conflict. 4. Start through the list of people, forgiving them, one at a time, in prayer. Take your time. 5. After you pray for an individual, think about that person again. Now how do you feel about them? Write a one word description of how you are now feeling towards them. Is it different than before you forgave them? 6. Are you having trouble forgiving some of them? If so, could the barrier be some misconceptions on your part of what it means to forgive? If so, review pages 63-64 for what forgiveness is and is not. After you go back over those pages, try forgiving them again. Then see how you feel about them. 7. Had you written your name on the list for Chapter 4, Application Question #1? If you didn t, should you have? Are there things you need to forgive yourself for? 20

Content Questions Chapter 6 God is on Your Side Ed Kurath says that our sins set in motion God s laws. What are your thoughts regarding this statement? He goes on to say that the pain and bad fruit in our lives would be unbearable, but that God is Protecting Us God most of the reaping that we would otherwise. He only us to reap what will us, what will us to our. He only allows us to what we are to, so that the will bring about in our lives, rather than. God is Raising His Children God is your Father, and He is raising you like a good father raises a child. How have your experiences with your earthly father influenced your perception of God? 21

In what ways has your relationship with the heavenly Father reinforced or challenged the influences of your relationship with your earthly father? God Does Not Afflict You God allowing you to some of the or your own is very than God. Look at James 1:12-18 and in your own words describe God s character and our own. What is the Purpose of Your Life? Truly, is and when you don t know what plan is for and what He from you. Possible Purposes For Your Life: The List The List contains those things that Christians are supposed to do with our lives. Does The List overwhelm you? If so, why? If not, why not? 22

Jesus Kept the Whole List According to Ed Kurath, Jesus was able to keep the whole list because How Can We Possibly Keep The List? It is when our becomes like that we will be able to keep The List. As we are in the of being into His image, we will each gain His nature, and will then as He does,. Why Does God Want This For You? What do you believe is God s primary motivation for wanting us to become like Jesus? Being Saved Has Two Meanings Record below the two meanings that being saved has: 1) 2) God is Very Personal With You Keep in that the Lord s paramount is to you into the of, and else is secondary. This Sanctification Process Can Feel Grievous Ed Kurath notes that the process of being changed into His image is very difficult. If everything in our life went smoothly, we would become, -, and. Therefore, each of us needs,, and to God s goal for us, because these things us. 23

God uses the minimum maximum amount of pain and challenge to accomplish change. What About the Devil? God is sovereign, and He is greater than the Devil. God protects those who belong to Him. So as God s child, Satan does not have access to you unless God allows it. Random Use of Authority Can Be Dangerous! If you use your to a when that is not what does want you to do at that moment, you may find yourself getting in the way of. Or worse yet, you may find yourself in and learning a. If God has not directed commanded you to do this kind of spiritual warfare, you are engaged in. A Change of Attitude Results From This New Awareness Once you realize that God is in all the you face, your whole will change. Instead of against what He is, you will tend to ask, O.K., Lord, I don t this at all. But what are You trying to in me through this? Sin Has Consequences If we begin to think we are so from the of our sin that we can and get with it, God will know this and us accordingly. God looks at the, and we can t Him. If We Resist What does Ed Kurath say will happen if we rebel against the lesson God is teaching? God only expects us to deal with the areas of sin that He knows we are ready to work on. 24

The Christian Walk is Not a Set of Rules. We Have a Living God our living God will give us the we need when we need it, if we are and. His will be to us for that in our life, will promote what is for us, and will always be in line with His. Profoundly Different, But True! God me too much to let me in my that I can. Why it is So Important to Know About God s Plan for Your Life According to Ed Kurath, what is at the core of God s plan for your life? God is personally committed to this process in each of His children. He tailor makes the plan for each individual, and He personally oversees it as it proceeds. Our sanctification is not a mechanical or random process, so we can rest in the sure knowledge that our loving Father is in charge. Application Questions 1. When you first came to the Lord did it feel like things were going well or going poorly? Was it good that God allowed you to get to this point? 2. When you try hard to keep the List, what are you feeling? 3. List two times when it felt like God was against you. 25

Content Questions Chapter 7 Decisions that Bind Us Does Ed Kurath s illustration of George help to shed any light on the relationship between judgments and inner vows? Please say more. The Nature of an Inner Vow An is a that we make that contains the words and. Ed Kurath compares an inner vow to the functioning of a railroad track that keeps a train on a specific route. Similarly, an Inner Vow doesn t for any from the path specified by the person s. The difference between the and an is that the was made in our, whereas the was made with our. When we made an Inner Vow we were, and it is the of the of that gives the Inner Vow its. Ed Kurath stated that it is not the Inner Vow itself that is sin. What does he say causes us to be in sin? 26

Summary of Features of an Inner Vow 1. It is a. 2. It is in nature. 3. Typically, Inner Vows were made when we were. 4. We usually aren t of them. 5. There is evidence of an Inner Vow because of. 6. Inner Vows are always connected to. Once the Inner Vow is in our. It operates and. How to Stop the Operation of an Inner Vow The good news is that the power of an Inner Vow can be broken!!!!! Since is what gave it, first we need to deal with the. How? Recognize that we Forgive from the Recognize that we may have judged the Inner Vow A Common Fear According to Ed Kurath, we can be reluctant to renounce an Inner Vow because we fear losing control, when indeed we actually are set free from bondage. What about Good Inner Vows? Sometimes we are to see that good Inner vow is a, but Inner Vows create for us. Good inner vows us to establish our, whereas came to express righteousness us. 27

How to Know that an Inner Vow is Present There are two ways to identify the presence of an Inner Vow. Directly: by the symptoms it produces Indirectly: by searching out the judgment that led to an Inner Vow According to Ed Kurath, how do we erase an Inner Vow? Application Questions 1. Have you ever made a New Year s resolution, only to break it soon after? 2. Do you find yourself saying always or never with intensity? 3. How have you described yourself as I am always or I never or I have to do it on my own? 4. Are there Inner Vows that you thought were good and might question now? 5. Is there a pattern in your life that you would like to break, but have not been able to? 28

Chapter 8 That It May Go Well With You Content Questions The Fifth Commandment Honor your father and mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the Lord your God is giving you. Deuteronomy 5: 16 If we do not honor our parents, there will be for us as we reap from the of. There are exceptions to this. There is a if we are able to our parents: that it go with. Two Extremes Ed Kurath states that there are two extremes that we tend to take with regard to the fifth commandment: honor at any cost or abandon the relationship. What are some of the implications of either action? Not Fair Our sense of fairness may cause us to question the fifth commandment. What steps have you taken to reconcile your feelings with your faith? 29

God is Fair Because God is and is the God of and, His must. What Did God Mean? The of our parents is based on -- that if we towards them, they will again us. Dishonoring Differs From Judging We are commanded not to judge nor dishonor our parents. The command not to judge only carries a. On the other hand, the command to honor parents carries a. Can you judge and honor your parents at the same time? What do you think? Recap of Major Features of Honoring Parents Review the seven statements summarizing the features of honoring parents and allow the Holy Spirit to speak to you concerning areas where inner healing may be needed. Honoring your parents relates to your to pursue the relationship! What Does All This Mean For You? After panning for gold, list at least three good qualities of your parent(s). 30

Each parent is not (though may that way), but or also have, if you will for them. What This Mandate to Honor Parents Does and Does Not Mean After prayerfully reviewing what honoring parents does and doesn t mean, what areas do you find most challenging to work through? And why? The Nature of Parent-Child Responsibilities Change Over Time Children in their parent s home are a very circumstance than children who have the home, and makes these. Read and reflect on Endnotes 8.2. Family Relationships Are Always Reciprocal Describe how you see reciprocity (give & take) being played out in Colossians 3:20-21. 31

There Is Always a Way You Can Honor Parents Though parents aren t perfect, according to Ed Kurath, what is the key toward honoring them? There Is No Formula Therefore, honoring is an issue, and as result you will need to with the what honoring would like in your situation. Finding the limits of the is sometimes a and quest, but it is a you so that may go for you. How We See God How we view and relate to our parents determines how we see God. This is probably one of the why it is so that we father and mother. We all to God as really is. What About Honoring Other People? and are the only for whom there is a clear to honor in the way that the requires. What is the only sure guide for determining who we are to honor? It is important that we see the truth about them. Seeing their faults is not dishonoring. However, we are not free to ignore their good attributes. 32

We are not free to reject them in total because of their faults, but we must keep seeking to uncover and recognize what is good in them. We need to keep panning for gold, because there is always gold somewhere. Application Questions 1. What is your automatic gut reaction when you think of your parents? 2. List some of the main strengths and shortcomings in your parents. 3. Looking at these shortcomings, have they influenced your ability to honor your parents? 4. When a painful event happened lately, how did you experience God in that? 5. Do you see the similarities between the shortcomings in #3, and the way you relate to God? 6. Could you confess your lack of honoring your parents to the Lord and trust Him to shield you? 7. If you look at yourself truthfully, can you relate any of your talents or skills to your parents influence? 33

Content Questions A Diagram of You Chapter 9 There is Buried Treasure When the Lord created you, He created a place hidden down inside of you where he placed several attributes, such as your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, and your. Take some time to think about these attributes and their operation in your life. Are there any surprises? What Do We Call These Two Places? According to Ed Kurath, the attributes of personal spirit, emotions, creativity, curiosity, imagination, intuition, masculinity or femininity, spontaneity, gifts and talents belong to the place he designates as the. And the attributes of willpower, intellect and consciousness belong to the place he designates as the. He states that there is a third place that also impacts us. This he calls the and it is initially influenced by our. Our experiences are what the relationship between these parts (between our and our ) and how all these parts are going to. The Dynamics Your head receives messages from your and the. We need the attributes that are in places, and somehow they all need to together. 34

Match the items in Column A with the characteristics in Column B: A Treasure Inside World B Overt Awareness Feelings In Your Face Sensations A Problem That Causes A Disconnect After reflecting on Ed Kurath s illustration in this section, can you think of a message that you may have received as a child that caused you to build a wall? Walls are built when the message that we receive from the World (initially our parents) and the Treasure Within are in conflict/do not agree. What Our Experience Should Be Like After reading the illustration about Janet how important do you believe affirmation is? What steps can you take immediately to become more affirming? 35

What Happens When We Were Not Heard What conclusion did Mary draw from her mother s response to her needs? Interactions with the happen a number of times to every little as they grow up. The result of this can lead to either in the to hear what is coming up from the, or a growing to those messages. The Wall God for us to be so that we can be like. We need the that are in both our and our. Without access to those attributes inside, we fail in some aspects of our life. The Wall is a big problem for us, because it prevents us from being whole. We are unable to access those important gifts which are inside. Separation From God When we can God s, we will be guided by Him and from. We will be able to Satan s and the deceptions of the. When we are off from, we have to on our, which is - to good and evil, right and wrong. 36

Separation From Self Our is meant to be the of our and greatly when cut off from this relationship. The comes about because we have decided that we are in the isn t. Separation From Others Are there instances when you purposely kept relationships on a superficial level? What do you believe may have been behind your actions? Men and Women Differ Ed Kurath notes that there is a difference between men s and women s responses. Which of the following three describes the difference? men have a hard time shutting down women are more sensitive the thickness of the Wall How Can You Know If You Have A Wall Inside? According to Ed Kurath, you can tell by the fruit demonstrated in your life. To be we always need to The, and this should be the most in Inner Healing. How Can You Remove the Wall? The Wall is made up of and against. First, we need to f. Second, we need to r the Inner Vow. Third, we need to r the. 37

Ed Kurath says that your relationship with yourself is the most important human relationship you have. What are your thoughts about this statement? Loving Yourself What steps can you take to be more loving toward yourself? The Big Hurt Ed Kurath defines the Big Hurt as the pain that results from judgment of, and alienation from, our Treasure Inside. Ways to Cover Up The Pain People are into all sorts of in order to keep from this pain of. We can choose to cover the pain or fix the source of the pain. The Big Hurt Gives The World Power Over You When you are at inside, you are by the. When you the and begin to live your life yourself, the loses its over you. What About the Bad Part? The Treasure Inside is all good because he/she is made in the image of God. Below my level of consciousness there are both all good (Treasure Inside) and all bad parts (the flesh). 38

Why Should You Want To Remove The Wall? To have the inside. To the resources in our. To be like. To obey. Application Questions 1. Think of a recent time when you made a mistake. What did you say to yourself? 2. Put a name on this feeling. Do you see a judgment in it? 3. Are you confident that you hear God s voice? Why would shutting off your Treasure Inside also shut out God s voice? (pg142). 4. Have you experienced rejection by someone you loved deeply? How did that feel? 5. If you treated your friends the way you treat yourself, how many friends would you have? 6. Do you identify with the Big Hurt (pg 144)? 7. Where might you need to forgive yourself? 8. Write an honest note/letter of forgiveness and appreciation to yourself. If you are not a writer, speak it out verbally. 39

Content Questions Chapter 10 Your Worst Trauma Ed Kurath states that We were built for love. Love is the thing that makes us tick, and we need lots of it to function. Without we are terribly. In fact, research is now showing that the is much more than is the that happens to us. How does this statement sound to you? The Lack of the Good is Trauma Trauma is something that us. Ed Kurath identifies two different types of trauma. The first type occurs when bad things happen to us. The second type occurs when we do not receive the good things that we need. Type B trauma= Type A trauma= He goes on to say that we can get comfortable living in a neutral place, which is simply the absence of the bad, because we don t know that there s more. It should be noted that when Type Trauma is in a family, Type Trauma is present; because a parent cannot be to a child. 40

Starvation Ed Kurath describes as being in a place where both the bad and the good are absent. Neutral is a place to be for. He uses the analogy of food to describe the place of starvation, but can you think of a personal experience that also illustrates his point. Why Is The Lack of the Good So Devastating? When we a of the, we build for two reasons. 1. 2. We See the Treasure Inside as the Problem In the first instance, we believe that the problem is our own fault. Children know that give to what is to. When don t us, we there is a. Finally, decide that the they are not us is because we. What is the conclusion that gets drawn from this experience? 41

We Have to Find a Way to Stop the Pain Did you take a moment to remember how you felt when you were rejected? If so, what did you feel? If not, what made this so difficult? Ed Kurath goes on to say that this type of pain is what the child that is ignored feels all the time. They can t make their, so they are with. Though the child can t that part from which the arises, he or she can ( ) find a way to the pain. How does Ed Kurath say the child responds to this pain? We Can t See It Living from now feels to, so I can t that was in my. Ed Kurath states that it is difficult for us to see the consequences of Type A Trauma for two reasons. What does he state causes this difficulty? 1. 2. To the that we were successful in The Wall, to that degree that we became that there was ever a! What is Normal? The Endnote 10-1 talks about what is normal. Review it to expand your understanding. 42

I not be able to normal, because of my against, or because I may have never experienced. How do you respond to this statement? Bonding When bonding occurs, the that become a part of the are: Someone is me, so I must be loveable. When bonding does not occur, the message become into the child s : Nobody is, so I must not be. These perspectives then color all of our subsequent life experiences. What We All Need The 5 things that we needed as children and continue to need as adults are: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Though the Absence of the Good causes deep wounds in our very foundation, God s provision for us through the blood and the cross of Jesus is sufficient to heal us. Hallelujah and Amen!!! 43

Application Questions 1. How would you honestly evaluate your early home life? 2. How were your emotional and spiritual needs met at home? 3. How did you usually deal with the pain or trauma of childhood? 4. What parts of the Blessing (pg 165-167) are you especially hungry for? 5. Is there someone in your life you could bless in one of these ways? 44

Content Questions Chapter 11 Emotions Are Your Friend Ed Kurath describes emotions as a bit mysterious and that we don t know what to do with them. How do you respond to this statement? What Are Emotions? Ed Kurath uses the comparison of a burglar alarm to serve as a warning of an intrusion to our emotions which alert us to what is going on inside of us. The burglar alarm was designed to be to because it is important that the stop. Some of our are ear-splittingly, because they are giving us information that we must not. the of all of our feelings is to us aware of that is going on our of consciousness. If God had not given your feelings to you, you would not have any way of knowing the status of what is going on inside of you. Our Attempts At Bringing Peace Check the response that most corresponds with Ed Kurath s statement. When we encounter strong negative emotions, we tend to try to find a way to: ( ) avoid dealing with them ( ) blame others for our pain ( ) reduce the pain 45

Our efforts usually don t fix the cause of our emotional pain. Just as physical pain is our friend because it lets us know something is wrong, emotional pain does the same. Tom experienced difficulty recognizing the source of his negative emotions and found himself overreacting to his wife because of an accumulation of bad feelings. Have you ever found yourself behaving similarly? What steps can you now take to reduce the likelihood of engaging in this type of behavior? We Are Needy God made us with needs. When our needs are not, we are and for our in any we can, perhaps including ways, or for whatever crumbs we can. Ed Kurath states that when we become so empty inside, we are driven to accept inappropriate substitutes to stop the screams coming up from inside us. Can you recall an instance when you accepted a substitute? What was the outcome? The Code How does Ed Kurath say that God intends for us to end the turmoil of negative emotions? 46

There are therefore two things we need to know about eliminating our emotional pain. Record them below: 1.) 2.) While we may not have been taught how to do either of these, we can learn how to eliminate the cause of our emotional pain. Understanding The Language Of Our Emotions Before learning about the language of the Treasure Inside, we are encouraged to consider several characteristics of our emotions. A negative emotion may be telling us about: An unmet appropriate emotional need A root of sin that we have just planted inside An older root that we have not yet eliminated All negative, both and, are to the need. The of our emotions is made up of little which are to the nature of the. Familiarize yourself with the feelings recorded in Endnote #11-1. Take time daily to identify both your positive and negative feelings. Do you notice any patterns? If so, what do they point to? 47

Eliminating the Cause Of The Pain When the of the is sin, there is only code that. The code that has provided is the for the away of our through the provided by the of Jesus. Ed Kurath states that when we forgive and are forgiven, the negative emotion stops because the wound that the pain was warning us about has been healed. Do you recognize at least one area where the Lord has brought healing since reading this book? Please reflect and record below. Feeling the gives me an to what I did and thus to be from the of the bitter root. It Is Complicated, And Yet Simple Ed Kurath notes that the code to end negative emotions is very complex as many of our bitter root judgments are old and often forgotten. But it is not too complicated for Jesus, and He will lead me in this process of finding the bitter roots and being healed. He points out the role that parents are to play in equipping their children to recognize and respond appropriately to their emotions. Even if you missed this opportunity with your parents, we can still bless Jesus as we now come into this understanding and appropriate His cleansing blood! Are Bad Emotions Sin? We may believe that having bad emotions is a sin. But, The is simply the. There is a sin present, but the is not the. Rather, it is the act of judging that is sinful and causes a bitter root to be formed. 48

The of sin exists, and the is just the telling us about the. Read Ephesians 4:26-27. How do you understand this Scripture? Repressing Emotions Hurts Us When we the emotions to keep from feeling, we miss out on the that inside needs. Whatever is inside will come to the in some fashion, because the inside will become too to. Are you aware of problems that you have experienced as a result of your emotions coming out sideways rather than straight out? The Paradox Of Selfishness It is pleasing to God for you to always give up your own needs for the benefit of others. ( ) True ( ) False Through our reading we have discovered the appropriate response, but before completing this section, how often had you found yourself being driven by this notion. 49

When a need is ignored, the Treasure Inside gets louder until it can no longer be ignored. In our motivation to meet to need, we become more selfish. On the other hand, when we seek to meet legitimate needs and are able to meet them in appropriate ways, the focus can shift from ourselves to others. The paradox here is that, Unmet needs at them for. Met needs bring about, freedom, and the ability to others as they themselves. The Role of Positive Emotions God made positive emotions so that we would whatever causes them. it is important that we have a way of knowing what is for us so we can it out and it. Feeling both and emotions is therefore meant to be one of through. Jesus Felt His Emotions Look at Matthew 9:36, Mark 35, Luke 19:41and John 11:33; 38. What did Jesus do with His emotions? Can You Rely On Your Emotions? In what way are our emotions always accurate? Because of old and the that are by their, our may not be an measure of what is going on of us. Whenever my emotions are not appropriate to the circumstances, this is an important clue that there is a wound inside me that needs to be taken care of. 50

Leave No Negative Emotion Unexamined Be that negative emotions also give you information. For of us, these sorts of happen many times a day, and we therefore need to many times a. If we do this we don t have to the of those reactions, because takes them. We then experience the that Jesus promised. A Strange Language If you have not been listening to what your emotions are telling you, their language will likely be strange to you. How often have you expressed conclusions rather than your feelings? What steps can you now take to reconcile the two when needed? Application Questions 1. What was the attitude toward emotions in your family of origin? 2. How do you feel toward someone who is emotionally expressive? 3. Where do you think that opinion of emotional expression has its roots? 4. When you have felt an uncomfortable emotion, what have you done with it? 5. Why would you want to listen to your negative emotions? 6. Have you considered that you may have made an Inner Vow to not feel? 7. Work on the Negative Emotion exercise. If you will listen to every negative emotion and pray accordingly, the Lord will be able to use 51

that as a way to lead you through your healing, day by day. This takes the mystery out of your process, and means that you do not have to figure out what needs working on. Go to www.divinelydesigned.com, and click on Free Workbook, and scroll down to the exercise to listen to every negative emotion. 52

Content Questions Chapter 12 The Good Part of You When you reviewed the questions on page 185, were you surprised by any of your responses? Elaborate below. Who Does God Say We Are? God doesn t agree with this view we may have of ourselves. You are a. You are in the of, and that part of stills exists you. God s Image Did Not Leave Us When Adam and Eve Sinned Thank You, Lord!!! The point for us to is that there is, and, a part in of us that is in the of God. Humility and Pride According to Ed Kurath, what does humility really mean? He notes that Jesus saw Himself the way that God the Father saw Him. He the will of the, not, because the was. 53

Humility is about. We are not to ourselves as than are, nor than we. We are valuable because we are valuable to God. is to see as more than am. According to Ed Kurath, we have no basis to be prideful. Why is this so? Why Do We See Ourselves As Worms? According to Ed Kurath, what causes us to see ourselves as worms? Other Voices The voices that wounded us are from: 1. 2. 3. 4: What does Ed Kurath say contributes to siblings wounding each other? Our also tells us how we are Our culture is with being, and to be is seen as a thing! According to Ed Kurath, The Church has also tended to focus on the bad, giving us the impression that there is nothing good that dwells in us. How do you respond to this statement? 54

Further we see of our own is that we are not to the laid out for us by the. Deep we know we are short, and we feel that are more as. But these voices are all wrong. God sees us differently, and He is always right. Aren t you glad! How Can We See Ourselves As God Sees Us? What will enable us to feel differently about ourselves? Application Questions 1. Look at the list on pg 185, did you answer yes to many of these? 2. How would you describe your strengths and gifts to someone without reference to what you do, but only to who you are? 3. Do you experience the truth about who God says you are in your head, but you really don t believe it in your heart? 4. Have you been telling the truth about who you are? 5. If you have judged your Treasure Inside as worthless or evil, spend some time talking to God about this. Write down the results of this conversation. 6. Are you clear about the fact that there is within you both the image of God, and a God-wannabe ( flesh ) as shown on page 200? 55

Content Questions Chapter 13 The Bad Part of You Although we tend to associate the flesh with those things that are bad, Ed Kurath points out that this is not always so. What illustrations does he give to support this statement? When Flesh is Not Bad, there are ways that (the Greek word sarx) in the refers to something that is. Flesh can refer to: 1) 2) 3) ; and 4) Fuzzy Words Based on your reading, how would you define fuzzy words? Many of the important in the are explained using. We can gain an understanding paying to the, to what the is about at the. 56

The Bad Part When flesh is referring to the it can be to one of possibilities. 1) _ 2) _ 3) _ The Common Denominator Ed Kurath states that there is a common theme behind these three tendencies. What does he attribute it to? The Primal Sin The to take place, to be our own is to our in this. This desire and is therefore the the of our side. For me to try to be by my is not just futile, it is in fact ; and the to do this comes of my the. The Wall Just a refresher-- what is the Wall made up of? Ed Kurath states, My flesh, the bad part that impelled me to react as I did, is part of my fallen nature. I will never lose the tendencies that spring from this bad part as long as I walk this planet. What is his prescription for this dilemma? 57

Don t Throw Out The Baby With The Bathwater When we ourselves, or try to, It is because we have to see hidden inside us as. Ed Kurath notes that it is important to recognize that within each of us is a good part and a bad part. There Are Multiple Places Inside Us Ed Kurath identifies three hidden areas beneath our level of consciousness. There is the Treasure Inside (good part), the Honeycomb (wounded part) and the flesh (bad part). Which two areas does he describe as unchangeable and why? Which area can be changed and how? Where Does Die to Self Fit In? Ed Kurath notes that there is often a misunderstanding with the concept of dying to self? What does he say that is? This creates a deep of inside, including the. Thus they attempt to build The in order to all that is. 58

Creating An Insolvable Dilemma To the that they in The, they all the that creates. To the degree they do not succeed, they feel and. In order to avoid this misunderstanding, Ed Kurath recommends avoiding the use of the term, die to self, and replacing it with the concept of Jesus pulling out the bitter roots and replacing them with His presence inside. What are your thoughts concerning this distinction? Pride The sin of pride can be repented of and washed in the blood of Jesus. Then it is gone On the other hand, what I have described as the bad part is not pride It is our sin-nature, and it is in every human being... And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed. John 8:32, 36 Application Questions 1. Are you clear about the fact that there is within you both the image of God, and a God-wannabe (the flesh) as shown on page 200? Was that a surprise? 2. When you misbehaved as a child, or was not able to be as good as your parents wanted you to be, did you judge yourself as being ALL bad (page 199)? 3. If you did judge yourself, with this knowledge, get quiet and apologize to your Treasure inside; and ask the Lord to forgive you for judging him/her. 59

Content Questions Chapter 14 Face to Face with Jesus You were built for love. God is love. Because you were made in His image, you need love as much as you need air to breathe. It is the lack of real love that has wounded you, and it is the presence of real love that has the power to heal. In what ways have your experiences with Jesus brought healing to your heart? What does Ed Kurath say distinguishes real love from the counterfeit? Jesus is always the. It is. If you could His, you would be with from the, because the is always from to. One be in presence without being profoundly. come out of such an with a whole new of they are, and they in the of their that Jesus them. An Impediment What is it that can hinder our ability to experience the presence of the Lord? What needs to be done to address this problem? 60

It Takes A Miracle Or, more correctly, it may take a series of miracles. You may with many ; and as each is, your to and with Him gradually becomes more and more. As you reflect on Mark 8:23-25, do you see any similarities with your own experience of healing? the way you may see, but gradually your with the becomes. The factors that affect our journey include: When you at the place where you can to leading, you can down the path of He has out for you. This is the path of changed into image. To Those Who Already Hear God What does Ed Kurath recommend for those who are able to hear God s voice? 61

We Are Healed in Relationship We, like God, are relational beings. We were wounded in relationships, and we can only be healed in relationships. our to the of the is enhanced by the of others of Christian. What do you think might cause a Christian to move toward an It s me and God position? He Wants This For All Of Us Does God want a personal and intimate relationship with us? You know it!! After reflecting on John 17:21-23 and the Father s love for you, capture your response in the space below: 62

Father, I desire that they also whom You gave Me may be with Me where I am, that they may behold My glory which You have given Me. (John 17:24a). Application Questions 1. How have you experienced God s love? 2. Are you able to sense God s presence sometimes? 3. Does it seem to you like an impossible dream for you to have a close walk with Him? 4. Can you now see that is what He wants with you? 5. How do you think that you can actually have a living relationship with Him? 63

Chapter 15 A New and Living Way No workbook questions Content Questions None Chapter 16 Deliverance and Inner Healing Application Questions 1. When bad things happen in your life, do you assume it s caused by Satan and/or demons? 2. If you answered no, skip to #3 below. If yes, answer this: if you really knew that God was next to you at the moment the bad thing happened, would you feel the same way? 3. If you were aware that the one standing next to you in the bad time was your parent, how would you feel at that moment? 4. What might it take for you to accept that God is on your side and is protecting you (hint it relates to your parents)? 64