Study Guide March 1-22, 2015
Table of Contents Emojis (Introduction)...5 Fear (Lesson 1, March 1)...6 Psalm 3 Grief (Lesson 2, March 8)...8 Psalm 88 Anger (Lesson 3, March 15)...10 Psalm 11 Guilt (Lesson 4, March 22)...12 Psalm 51
Emojis (Introduction) Emotional Shortcuts Communicating through printed words has its limitations. Words without tone and body language can be easily misinterpreted. So, to help mitigate this, we have invented emojis. When we text or email or post, we can insert a quick smile, frown, tear, thumbs up, or any number of other graphics to communicate how we are feeling. Emojis serve as shortcuts for us to express what s going on inside of us when our written words don t seem to get the job done. With each new version of the iphone (and other devices) the number of emojis grows. While at first it was limited to smiles and winks and frowns, the spectrum of emojis now includes just about every emotion imaginable. While this might seem like overkill, this growing collection demonstrates the range of emotions that human beings are capable of experiencing. We are not simply happy or sad. We are excited and anxious, angry and distressed, surprised and joyful, depressed and enamored. The capacity of human beings to feel has yet to be exhausted. A Little Advice About Feelings, Kiddo Judith Guest s book Ordinary People was made into an Oscar-winning movie in 1980. In the story, high school student Conrad Jarrett is wading through grief and guilt and anger in the aftermath of his older brother s death. He regularly meets with the psychiatrist Dr. Berger, who attempts to bring out Conrad s emotions. Meanwhile, Conrad does his best to hold everything inside. Dr. Berger advises him, Feelings are scary. And sometimes they re painful. And if you can t feel pain... you won t feel anything else either. Near the end of the story, Conrad finally allows himself to feel his emotions deeply. He begins to experience relief, but he is also overwhelmed. Dr. Berger speaks these iconic words to him: A little advice about feelings, kiddo; don t expect it always to tickle. Conrad s emotions bring him into the depths of his grief and anger and guilt and sadness. But they also allow him to enter back into a full human experience by experiencing the range of feelings instead of suppressing them. Two Bad Options The words spoken by the fictional Dr. Berger are true. Feelings are scary. They re complicated. They can make us feel like we are careening out of control, like a train that has slid off the tracks. Moments of great emotion bring us our greatest joy and our deepest pain. It can be confusing to figure out how to handle feelings. Because our emotions can bring us such highs and lows, most of us tend to deal with them in one of two ways: we either ignore them or we bow to them. We either deny them or we are defeated by them. A number of us simply ignore and suppress our emotions. We treat them like the enemy. We avoid highs and lows. We find ways to calm ourselves down. We move through anger and grief and joy like a knife moving through soft butter. We keep ourselves unfazed by feelings. A number of us, however, take an opposite approach. Instead of ignoring our emotions, we bow to them, giving them complete control over our lives. We are tossed around by our highs and lows. We re flying high with joy one minute, and we re in the pit of despair the next. We see our emotions as the pilot flying our airplane. Sometimes we are brought into peaceful and scenic spots, but sometimes we seem to be heading for a crash.
Emotions and Christianity Those of us who are Christians are often just as confused about emotions as the average person. On the one hand, we may think that the Christian life is all about willful decisions to do what God says. This leads us to see emotions as the enemy. On the other hand, joy and peace and passion seem to be commanded in Scripture. This leads us to believe that our emotions are important. But most of us are not sure how to cultivate these emotions without letting them run our lives. Scripture teaches us that God created human beings in his image. Bearing God s image means that we are more than an intellect and a will. Our emotions are a core part of who we are. Scripture consistenly affirms this. Jesus himself showed deep emotion during his time on earth (Matthew 9:36, Mark 3:5, John 11:33-38). God consistently demonstrates anger (Romans 1:18), pleasure (Matthew 17:5), jealousy (Exodus 34:14), sadness (Genesis 6:6), and joy (John 15:11). The Psalms in particular are full of men and women bringing their deep and profound emotions to God and trusting him to lead them through them. The Christian answer to our emotions is neither to deny them nor to be defeated by them. Instead we are invited to bring our full selves (including our guilt and joy and sadness and anger) to a God who is powerful and faithful enough to stabilize us. Our emotions are neither our enemy nor our master. They are gifts from God that are needed in order to fully experience what it means to be created in God s image. Emojis There are four lessons in this series. Each lesson will walk through a psalm in which the author is bringing his unfiltered emotions to God. In Psalm 3 we will see David approach God when he is filled with fear. In Psalm 88 we will see the writer bring his authentic grief to God. In Psalm 11 we will see David bring his anger and desire for vindication to God. And in Psalm 51 we will see David bring his guilt and shame to God. In each psalm, the author does not pretend that things are fine. The authors vent and complain and speak openly about what is happening inside of them. They believe that the solution lies somewhere in their connection to God. As you approach this series, open yourself up to what God has for you. If you tend to deny your emotions, be prepared to dig in and allow yourself to feel. If you tend to be defeated by your emotions, be prepared for God to stabilize you. As you read and study, prepare yourself for a new way to approach one of the most important aspects of being created in God s image: Emotions. 5
Fear (Lesson 1, March 1) Psalm 3 Main Point The solution to our fear is not to ignore it, but to bring it to God and to trust him for deliverance. Introduction A number of years ago while I was in college I went with a group of students on a rock climbing trip at Joshua Tree National Monument. I remember listening to our climbing instructor for about two hours as he went over all the necessary instructions for having a successful climb going down a large rock face using ropes, a braking system, and other assorted climbing tools. As I watched others go before me down a 30-foot rock face, I kept thinking, I ve got this! and, Hurry up! When I was finally strapped to all the gear and the helmet was placed on my head, I started to inch backwards over the drop. All of a sudden my mind began to flood with questions that weren t there before. How does the braking system work? How fast should I descend? Who is holding on to my safety line if something goes wrong? That looks a lot further than 30 feet! As all these questions and doubts began to take hold, I froze and couldn t go forward or down. Fear had grabbed a hold of me, and it was stronger than any force of gravity. It took the wisdom of the climbing instructor to help me to focus on his words and take it one step at a time (literally) as I slowly inched backwards down the rock. It got easier with each step and by the end I felt like a Navy Seal dropping in on some unsuspecting terrorist. It s amazing how fear can affect us. The doubts you have about your abilities begin to stop you before you even get started. As you look at Psalm 3 we see that even someone as brave as David (killed a bear and a lion as a young shepherd, took down Goliath, fought in hand to hand combat with his men) still faced fear and had to deal with its affects. David wrote this, in all probability, while actually fleeing for his life from Absalom. As a result of his sin with Bathsheba David was promised trouble in his house. What came he could scarcely have imagined -- his own son Absalom attempted to take the kingdom from him by force. The situation became so grave that David actually left the walled fortress of Jerusalem to flee across the Jordan River. It was a desperate time. The king did not know who was with him and who was against him, who would come to his side and who would fight against him. All he could do was flee and hope that he would have the time necessary to regroup and get organized. Mark Roberts This lesson will help us to see how we can face our fears and instead of paralyzing us, or denying it, we can take another path. The path that David learned to help him grow with himself, the people he led, and the Lord. Question for Family Discussion 1. Share a time you experienced fear. How did the experience affect you physically? Emotionally? Getting Started 2. What do you think is the root of most fears? 3. Do you tend to deny fears or do you feel ashamed when you have them? Digging In Read Psalm 3. 1 LORD, how many are my foes! How many rise against me! 2 Many are saying of me, God will not deliver him. 3 But you, LORD, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high. 4 I call out to the LORD, and he answers me from his holy mountain. 5 I lie down and sleep; 6
I wake again, because the LORD sustains me. 6 I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side. 7 Arise, LORD! Deliver me, my God! Strike all my enemies on the jaw; break the teeth of the wicked. 8 From the LORD comes deliverance. May your blessings be on your people. 4. What are David s fears in verse 1? Wrestling With Issues 11. Our fears often result from not trusting God. How can these fears move us in a positive direction? Taking it to Heart 12. What are some fears that you need to bring to God? 5. How is the fear in verse 2 different? 13. Which of the following verses help you the most in dealing with fear? Psalm 56:3-4; Psalm 27:1; Psalm 23:4; Isaiah 41:10; John 4:18 6. As David is fleeing from Jerusalem he is confronted by Shimei. Read II Samuel 16:5-12. How does David respond to the verbal attack of Shimei? How do you think his fears in verse 1 affected his thinking about the curses? 14. What are some practical ways you can trust God to lead you through your fears? 7. What does David recognize about God in verse 3? 8. What 2 actions does David take in verses 4 and 5? How does either of these actions help in a time of fear? (Read II Samuel 16:13-14) Notes 9. What truths in verses 7-8 does David recognize about God that seem to turn his fears to boldness? 10. In verse 8 David sees that deliverance comes from the Lord. How does this help him in how he views the people he leads? 7
Grief (Lesson 2, March 8) Psalm 88 Main Point God heals our grief through our full expression and experience of it. Getting Started 2. Share about something or someone you lost, and share about how this loss brought you grief? Introduction In the book of Genesis, Jacob makes a powerful statement to his sons. Already having lost his son Joseph, he fears what will happen to his son Benjamin if he accompanies his brothers on a trip to Egypt. He says, My son will not go down there with you; his brother is dead and he is the only one left. If harm comes to him on the journey you are taking, you will bring my gray head down to the grave in sorrow. You will bring my gray head down to the grave in sorrow. Sorrow and grief can be so overwhelming that we can think they will consume us and bring us death. Sadly, this sometimes takes place. People fade into illness or suicide through deep depression because of a loss they have suffered. This danger explains why many of us feel anxious to move past our grief as quickly as possible. We pretend that the loss wasn t that bad, and we suppress feelings of sadness and grief. When our two alternatives to loss are death and denial, these do not seem like good options. Thankfully, God gives us a different approach in his Word. Through Psalm 88 we will see a man full of grief who neither denies his emotions, nor is he defeated by them. Instead of finds powerful healing and strength as he brings his full grief to God. Question for Family Discussion 1. Are you more likely to overreact or to underreact when you find yourself experiencing sadness? 3. What is your normal way for dealing with grief? 4. How do you think God wants his people to deal with their grief? Digging In Read Psalm 88:1-5 1 LORD, you are the God who saves me; day and night I cry out to you. 2 May my prayer come before you; turn your ear to my cry. 3 I am overwhelmed with troubles and my life draws near to death. 4 I am counted among those who go down to the pit; I am like one without strength. 5 I am set apart with the dead, like the slain who lie in the grace, whom you remember no more, who are cut off from your care. 5. What does the psalmist say at the beginning about his attitude toward God? 8
6. What are some of the key words and images that the psalmist uses in verses 3-5 to describe what he is experiencing? 10. As you can see, the psalm ends without resolution. Why do you think God led the psalmist to end his plea in this way? Read verses 6-12. 6 You have put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths. 7 Your wrath lies heavily on me; you have overwhelmed me with all your waves. 8 You have taken from me my closest friends and have made me repulsive to them. I am confined and cannot escape; 9 my eyes are dim with grief. I call to you, LORD, every day; I spread out my hands to you. 10 Do you show your wonders to the dead? Do their spirits rise up and praise you? 11 Is your love declared in the grave, your faithfulness in Destruction? 12 Are your wonders known in the places of darkness, or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion? 7. In verses 7-8, what does the psalmist say about what he believes to be God s role in his suffering? 8. The psalmist asks a series of questions in verses 10-12. What do you see as the point he is making with these questions? Wrestling With Issues 11. Throughout Psalm 88 the psalmist expresses his frustration with God, and yet he continues to cry out to God for help. How do you think it is possible to be confused by God and yet still to see him as someone who could help? 12. When you think of the suffering and loss you have faced in your life, in what ways do you feel that God is to blame? Taking it to Heart 13. Throughout Psalm 88, the psalmist clearly does not downplay his grief and agony. What areas of grief have you downplayed, and how do you think God is calling you to give them proper weight? Read verses 13-18. 13 But I cry to you for help, LORD; in the morning my prayer comes before you. 14 Why, LORD, do you reject me and hide your face from me? 15 From my youth I have suffered and been close to death; I have borne your terrors and am in despair. 16 Your wrath has swept over me; your terrors have destroyed me. 17 All day long they surround me like a flood; they have completely engulfed me. 18 You have taken from me friend and neighbor darkness is my closest friend. 9. Despite the psalmist s frustration with God, what action does he take in verses 13-14? 14. The psalmist copes with his grief by crying out to God with great passion. When you experience grief, what are some alternative ways that you try to cope? How can these coping patterns end up hurting you? 15. Take some time to identify an area of grief and to write out your sense of loss and sadness. Don t hold back. Give full expression to what you feel. Bring this grief to God and pray for his healing, his perspective, and his comfort. 9
Anger (Lesson 3, March 15) Psalm 11 Main Point God s solution to our anger is his justice. Getting Started 2. What makes you angry? Introduction Amidst the current frenzy of superhero movies stands the Incredible Hulk. For decades the Hulk has served as a suggestive icon for what happens inside each of us when we get angry. While, unlike the Hulk, we don t manifest our anger through a physical transformation, most of us can relate to the way that anger seems to take over our bodies and minds and spiral out of control. We often feel that we are an observer watching ourselves as we turn into a rage-monster, consuming everything in our path. Anger is scary, but it is also a part of every person s life. Some of us feel like we are helpless victims of our anger, driven to act out in revenge (even if only in revenge fantasies). Others of us deny our anger and stuff it down deep, hoping that it won t later rear its ugly head and demand payment. Our coping mechanisms for anger often leave something to be desired. Anger is real and it is universal. God does not call us to deny it, but he does lead us to deal with it. In this lesson s psalm we will see David bring his anger and indignation to God. Instead of pretending that he is fine, and instead of plotting his own revenge, he allows God to lead him in a wholly different direction. Question for Family Discussion 1. When you are feeling angry, how do you typically deal with it? 3. Think of times when you have acted or spoken in anger. During those times, what have you been trying to accomplish? 4. When you see a small child get angry, what is your normal response to them? How do you think this scenario might relate to God s attitude toward us when we are angry? Digging In Psalm 11:1-3 1 In the LORD I take refuge. How then can you say to me: Flee like a bird to your mountain. 2 For look the wicked bend their bows; they set their arrows against the strings to shoot from the shadows at the upright in heart. 3 When the foundations are being destroyed, what can the righteous do? 5. With what attitude does David begin this psalm? 10
6. According to verses 1-3, what advice has David been getting? Wrestling With Issues 11. How could a person delight in someone else s downfall without being spiteful? 7. What is revealed about David s circumstances in verses 2-3? 12. How can a person discern the difference between appropriate anger and selfish anger? Read verses 4-7. 4 The LORD is in his holy temple; the LORD is on his heavenly throne. He observes everyone on earth; his eyes examine them. 5 The LORD examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion. 6 On the wicked he will rain fiery coals and burning sulfur; a scorching wind will be their lot. 7 For the LORD is righteous, he loves justice; the upright will see his face. 8. In verse 4, David seems to be reassuring himself of reality in the midst of his difficulty. What reality does he use to calm himself down? Taking it to Heart 13. How does this psalm give you guidance on how to honestly and appropriately deal with your anger? 14. Think of a time that God brought you vindication and justice when you had been wronged. How does this memory impact your attitude toward anger that you are experiencing right now? 9. How do verses 5-6 reveal the anger that David is experiencing? 15. Write about a situation that has brought anger into your life. Bring this anger to God in an honest and forthright way. Ask him to intervene, and also ask him to search your own heart and your own motives. What impact did this activity have on you? 10. How does God s righteousness help David to deal with his anger? Notes 11
Guilt (Lesson 4, March 22) Psalm 51 Main Point God s solution to our guilt is neither to rely on minimizing nor to rely on atoning, but rather to rely on God s grace and mercy. Getting Started 2. Do you feel that you experience more or less guilt than the average person? Explain your answer. Introduction In Edgar Allen Poe s short story The Tell-Tale Heart, a man commits a murder, trusting that his conscience will not drive him to confess. As the police investigate, however, he finds himself suddenly surrounded by outward and inward signals that remind him of his guilt. Finally, despite the fact that he is not under suspicion, he blurts out his confession to the surprised policemen. In the end his guilt was more intolerable than whatever consequences he would face for his crime. Guilt is universal. While some of us seem to be more sensitive to it than others, we all experience feels of shame over things that we have done. Because we sometimes experience unnecessary shame, it can be a temptation to explain away our feelings of guilt by minimizing or justifying our actions. If we can just convince ourselves that we aren t objectively guilty, we can try to force our emotions to get in line. Other times we can t seem to shake our guilt, even if we have confessed and been forgiven. We feel plagued by the weight of wrongs we have committed. In the psalm featured in this lesson, David is experiencing guilt. And his guilt is not imagined, but very, very real. He never minimizes his guilt, but he brings it to God in an effort not to be crushed by it. This psalm powerfully leads each of us in how we can deal with our emotions surrounding guilt without denying them and without being defeated by them. Question for Family Discussion 1. When you are feeling guilty, how do you typically deal with it? 3. In our culture, what are some of the main ways that people deal with their guilt? 4. Are you more likely to feel overcome by guilt or to ignore guilt? Digging In Read Psalm 51:1-9. This psalm was written by David in the aftermath of his affair with Bathsheba. Read 2 Samuel 11-12 if you want the background for David s situation here. 1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. 3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. 4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge. 5 Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. 6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place. 12
7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. 8 Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushes rejoice. 9 Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. 5. According to verses 1-2, what does David see as the solution to his guilt? 8. What does David ask God to do in verses 10-12? What does David promise to do in response in verses 13-15? 9. According to verses 16-17, what is more important to God than ritual sacrifices? 6. What do David s words in verses 3-6 reveal about his attitude toward himself and his sin? 10. In verses 18-19, David s requests go beyond himself to Israel as a whole. What do you think led David to plead with God in this way? 7. According to verses 7-8, what does David believe will be the result if God shows him mercy and takes away his sin? Read verses 10-19. 10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 11 Do not cast me away from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. 12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. 13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you. 14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, you who are God my Savior, and my tongue will sing of your righteousness. 15 Open my lips, Lord, and my mouth will declare your praise. 16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. 17 My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise. 18 May it please you to prosper Zion, to build up the walls of Jerusalem. 19 Then you will delight in the sacrifices of the righteous, in burnt offerings offered whole; then bulls will be offered on your altar. Wrestling With Issues 11. What do you think is the relationship (if there even is one) between God bringing forgiveness and the forgiven person seeking to make up for their sin? 12. What do you think it looks like to be humble and contrite about your sin without being miserable and self-loathing? Taking it to Heart 13. David appeals to God over and over again for forgiveness. Today, what basis do you have for being confident that God will remove your guilt? 13
Guilt (continued) (Lesson 4, March 22) Psalm 51 14. Think again about whether you are more likely to deny your guilt or wallow in your guilt. What are some practical things you can do to protect against either of these tendencies? 15. Write to God about something that brings you feelings of guilt and shame. Be specific with him and don t hold back. Pray for his cleansing, not based on your goodness, but based on the sacrifice of Jesus.How did this activity impact how you are feeling? Notes 14