To Be Like Jesus Father s Day 2016 Let us pray... O Gracious Father, bless now the words of my lips and the meditations of our hearts. Breathe your Spirit into us and grant that we may hear, and in hearing be led in the way you want us to go. We ask this in the name of your son Jesus the Christ. Amen. Someone noticed that the word "father" appears in the dictionary just before the word "fatigued" and just after the word "fathead." So to all us fatigued, fathead fathers, Happy Father's Day! One time a little boy was asked to define Father's Day and he said, "It's just like Mother's Day, only you don't have to spend as much on the present." I recently found a site called Kids Speak a Different Language. Parents frequently make the mistake of thinking they speak the same language as their children and we see this kind of misunderstanding all the time. Even though we Americans and the Brits supposedly speak "English" there are often misunderstandings. For instance, when an American says "bonnet" they mean a kind of hat. When the Englishman says "bonnet" they mean the hood of a car. The same is true when talking with your children. At first it seems we are all speaking English but, on closer inspection, it becomes clear that children and parents speak entirely different dialects. In the interest of better transgenerational communication, here are some key phrases and their translations: "I cannot finish my hamburger." Meaning: Your son has eaten enough. Page 1 of 8
Or, "I cannot finish my fish." Meaning: Your daughter, who does not like fish in the first place, figures she's eaten enough to satisfy you and still get dessert. "I can't finish my dessert." Meaning: Your child is defiantly sick and should be taken to the doctor ASAP. "I didn't do it." Translation: It has not been conclusively proven that I did do it. "Frankie Smith is such a no-good rotten liar!" Meaning: Expect a call from Frankie's parents. "Mom said it was okay." Translation: I'm going to ask Mom as soon as you say "yes." "Dad, can I have a dog?" Meaning: Your son wants a dog. "Dad, can I have a boa constrictor?" Meaning: Your son wants a dog, but figures asking for something really awful puts him in a better bargaining position. I think that all parents can testify that their children or grandchildren do speak a different language than they do and it is one of the reasons that it is very difficult to bring up children. There are other reasons of course, but I don't want to go into those today; rather, I want to speak to the men who are here, both fathers and grandfathers, about some of the things we can do to make ourselves better parents and grandparents. There is a wonderful wisdom saying in Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV) 6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. Regardless of the translation you choose, NKJ, AV, ESV, NAS - they all say the very same thing. Page 2 of 8
No one is talking perfection here; we dads can be pretty hard on ourselves when it comes to looking back and evaluating ourselves on childrearing. Train up educate. In the same way you would teach them to throw a ball, shoot a hoop or kick a soccer ball, dads are to educate their kids in the way they should go. I had asked you all to keep me in prayer a couple of weeks ago because the next day I would be officiating a funeral for an unsaved 73 year old man. He had two grown sons. He had divorced their mother when they were only 6 and 3 years old and only saw them a brief couple of times a year. Although they were burying their dad that day, they were burying their dreams of ever having a meaningful relationship with their father. It was never going to happen now! I so admire the fathers, that even if they divorce, they make sure that they are close enough to their kids to make a Proverbs 22:6 impact on them. In our Ephesians study a few months back we read Ephesians 6:4 (NKJV) 4 bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. In his letter to young pastor Timothy, Paul reminded him ~ 2 Timothy 3:15 (NKJV) 15 and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. When teaching your kids to throw a ball, you explain it and then you model it. And you do it over and over so that they can get it. Teaching our kids and grandkids to pray and then model it - pray with them, or read the Bible, or go to church, or walk the walk. We love our children and grandchildren and treat them well, yet sometimes they turn away from us; sometimes they do journey on roads that we do not understand or approve of. But in the end, if our hearts are open, if the foundation is well laid, we see them return to us much like the Prodigal Son returned to his Father. Let s take a quick look at that wandering sons return to see how he had been trained Page 3 of 8
Luke 15:17 24 (NKJV) 17 But when he came to himself, he said, How many of my father s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, 19 and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants. 20 And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son. 22 But the father said to his servants, Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. 23 And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; 24 for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. And they began to be merry. This seems to be the road many of our kids take. That s why it s so important, especially these days, to make sure we re training our kids for a spiritual future in addition to training them to throw the ball. Then if the door is open, they will normally pass through it, back into our lives again and back into a relationship with them again. I think part of the problem we have as parents is not that we have difficult children or even that they speak a different language than we do, though all this is very often true. I am convinced a portion of the problem is that many parents today often do not know the way their children should go themselves. One generation and then another, has shunned their God-given responsibility and today kids are have no clue as to the way they should go. But more importantly, even when fathers know the way, they often fail to live it. The unbelieving man whose funeral I did a couple of weeks back had a father who was a believer, but never, ever lived it out because his wife was very antagonistic against God. And unfortunately she trained him. Poor training causes children to become angry, distant, alienated from us and from God. So what is the way? Page 4 of 8
As men, we must actually live Godly lives. We must keep promises concerning our relationship to the Lord. We must keep our promises with our relationship to our family and our relationships with other people. We must be mature in the faith and be the spiritual head of the family as God has called us to be. Too many young men have the wrong idea of what it means to be the head of the family ; they act like it s my castle and as king everybody does what I say. To be the head of a family is like being the Head of the family of God, the church. Obviously Jesus is the Head of that family and He gives of Himself, He serves, He dies for others, He washes feet. We as men must commit ourselves to building strong biblical marriages and support the mission of Christ with our time, our talent and with our prayer. As men of Christ we must devote ourselves to demonstrating the love of Christ in our home, church and community. As men of Christ we are to live moral and virtuous lives based on scriptural principles. The result will not only be the renewal of our own lives as men; it will bring renewal to our families, to our churches, to our work places, our community and ultimately to our world. And it is working; it s working because the secret of all successful marriages, of all successful parenting always rests in two sets of hands. First and foremost, in the hand of God; and secondly, in our hands. If we allow those hands to be linked together, the results are incredible. Lives are changed, lives improve, families are healed, neighbors come to faith in Christ. If we lead godly lives then the odds are that our children will lead Godly lives. Page 5 of 8
Now there are times when we men do not always say what we mean. Ladies, please allow me to translate for your future benefit: When a man says, "It would take too long to explain", he generally means: "I have no idea how it works." When a man says, "Take a break honey. You are working too hard", he really means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner". When we say, "I heard you", it means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and I am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you will not spend the next 3 days telling me I never listen to you." When a guy says, "That's not what I meant", he means: "If something I said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, I meant the other one. And lastly, when a guy says I can t find it'', he means: "It did not fall into my outstretched hand, so I am completely clueless". Am I speaking the truth here ladies? In Colossians Paul shares the word that he received from the Lord concerning children and their parents. He writes Colossians 3:20 (NKJV) 20 Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Then he writes Colossians 3:21 (NKJV) 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. These last words are surely inspired. Do not provoke, do not exasperate your children, do not break your promises to them, do not neglect them, or mindlessly indulge their every whim so that they lose all respect for you. Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Someone once said, "A boy loves his mother, but will follow his father. Page 6 of 8
Ok, let s address an uncomfortable scenario for just a moment. Some of us dads didn t come to the Lord until we had already messed up our lives, divorced our kid s mother and have had a strained relationship with them ever since. Here s the deal: I saw it on the face of those two young men in their early and mid- 40 s a couple of weeks ago; I heard it in their voice. They never had a relationship with their dad, and though they may have been angry with him for abandoning them as small kids, the kid in them wanted that relationship still. As a Christian father, with the help of God, it s NOT TOO LATE. Start building that relationship today. Parenting is never easy. It is not easy being a father or a mother. It has incredible challenges, incredible pains, as well as incredible joys. We can do no better thing for our children than personally walking in the way we should go. To be mature in the Faith and to be continually open to the transforming power of Christ. Some time ago I heard a touching story about a humble, consecrated pastor whose young son had become very ill. After his boy had undergone an exhaustive series of tests, the father was told the shocking news that his son had a terminal illness. The youngster had accepted Christ as his Savior, so the minister knew that death would usher him into Glory, but he wondered how to inform one in the bloom of youth that he soon would die. After earnestly seeking the direction of the Holy Spirit, he went with a heavy heart through the hospital hallways to his son's bedside. First he read a passage of Scripture and had a time of prayer with his son. Then he gently told him that the doctors could promise him only a few more days to live. "Are you afraid to meet Jesus, son?", asked his devout father. Blinking away a few tears, the little fellow said bravely, "No, not if He's like you, Dad!" Page 7 of 8
Guys, the best thing that we can do for our children and grandchildren is for each one of us to personally be right with God and to walk in the way of the Lord. To be like Jesus! To never be satisfied, but to continually seek to be transformed into the image of Christ. To finish this marathon of life, the race laid before us and to finish well. To give our all and when we cross over to the other side of eternity, to collapse into our Savior s arms, knowing we had no more to give. And to hear our Savior s voice: "Well done good and faithful servant. You have fought the good fight, you have finished the race." Page 8 of 8