A SPIRITUALITY OF LISTENING (OBEDIENCE) Your obedience is the openness to listen and respond to God s Will wherever and however it may be expressed. (FP) Hearing sounds from our Formation Field: Symphony Lecture The nightly news Football game Friend in casual conversation Doctor s report Someone in pain or suffering Someone speaking about their spiritual life Advice of a friend A sound machine white noise - trying to concentrate or go to sleep Ocean surf, crackling fire or waterfall Birds or turkeys in the yard A television commercial Radio in the middle of the night Inner self-talk, the running commentary we make Silence in a dark room Summary of some of the sources that speak to us: Our Formation Field speaks to us and our hearing is one way in which we stay in contact and relate to what is both within and outside of our own consciousness. What we hear may be too loud, too soft or masked by distortion and noise. We can miss what it s trying to say to us due to our pre-occupations. Inner Talk what we say to ourselves or what we hear going on in our mind and heart Inner commentary running day and night past hurts, fidelity, failures Other people written and spoken words of living and deceased individuals Friends, collaborators, community, authors, masters Situation our immediate experience - the physical and situational world in which we live: nature, where we live, where we work, commitments, life form / style. World which is mediated to us - the more remote influence of the culture and wider world TV, Internet, government opinions, Church hierarchy, culture Voice of God s Spirit speaking in all of creation God s will, wherever and however it may be expressed Always a subtle, nuanced form of I Love You. 1
Spontaneous, everyday comments we make about hearing/listening: Hush... do you hear that? You have to listen very carefully to hear it. You're not paying attention to what I said. Who's talking (in classroom or on the phone)? Please speak up. I didn't hear what you said. What's making that noise? Tell me a little more about what's going on? Don't listen to him, he doesn't know what he's talking about. I heard the lecture, but "I don't get it." That was a beautiful symphony / birdsong Who does he think he is to speak to me that way How we listen: Our comments give us an idea about how we pay attention to what we hear? How are we pre-disposed to listen (Our listening bias). Vital listening: listen for safety / danger or for pleasure (smoke alarm, beep of car horn, bird song, symphony) Functional listening: listen for information that helps us to plan, manage, control, perform, create, master our life situation. (classes, how-to books, information that helps us to be able to vote wisely. Listening in common: listen to others for connection, relationship, care Spiritual listening: to gain insight for life formation, direction, conversion, communion Our listening can be an overlapping blend of these listening styles. 2
LIFE FORMATION (An ongoing process ( a dialog) that demands listening and response) Christian Spiritual Formation: The graced, life-long process of disclosing (discovering) and incarnating (liberating) the image of God that each person and each community of persons most foundationally and most uniquely are. The formation process takes place in relationship with one's inner self, others, situations and the world, and ultimately in relationship with God who permeates and transcends the entire field of formation that is the person's life. It is an ongoing process that tends toward the realization, both progressively and approximately, of a final transcendent, transparent, self-forgetful form of life. (Studies, Vol. 1, p. 138 and Text Vol. 1, pp. 306-307) Christian Spiritual Formation: The graced process of a prayerful search for and of a tentative, gradual incarnation in all dimensions of one's life, of the foundational form or unique image of Christ one is called to realize. This ongoing search is guided by a divine direction which is gradually disclosed by the Holy Spirit as speaking in the Church, in the life situation, in one's formation tradition and in one's own soul. (Studies, Vol. 1, #1, Glossary) PRESENCE Need to show up physically, be present, be open and available to avoid living obliviously. There is in all of us an inclination to order our environment, including its human members, from our own axis outwards. In the matter of persons, then, if we were to attempt to characterize this further dimension of presence that goes beyond locatability, we would have to speak of its posture as a readiness to respect and to stand in wonder and in openness before the mysterious life and influence of the other. It means, to be sure, a power to influence, to penetrate, to engage with the other; but it means equally, a willingness to be vulnerable enough to be influenced by, to be penetrated by, and even to be changed by the experience. If this is an accurate account of what actually takes place on the deepest levels of love and friendship, it also means that out of the long loneliness of life there are possible some luminous moments of profound communion, of truly coming in to the presence of the other. And when they do come, all efforts to measure their worth seem superfluous. (Douglas Steere, On Being Present Where You Are) Listen carefully to the Master s instructions and attend to them with the ear of your heart. Welcome it and faithfully put it into practice. This message is for you if you are ready to give up your own will once and for all (The Rule of St. Benedict) Transformation of will-ful-ness to willingness to participate in ongoing / lifelong formation. 3
FOUNDATIONAL DISOSITIONS REQUIRED FOR OBEDIENT LISTENING To listen is to create a space where obedience to the truth can be practiced. (Palmer, To Know as We Are Known, p. 69) Foundational Disposition: The willingness to participate in lifelong / ongoing formation. Receptive dispositions: Show up in a familiar place. If the place is too exciting, interesting or exotic it may interfere with openness. (Onceness) Be fully present. Be attentive. Create space through silence and stillness. Practice the asceticism of self-forgetfulness. Listen to what we receive from otherness. Be reflective and listen carefully to what reverberates whether resonance or resistance. Demands patience and dwelling in order to hear this reverberation. **** (Appraisal Bridge) **** Responsive dispositions: Courage to face conversion, the disintegration and reformation of our lives. Humility to do what you can without discouragement or pride. Face the solitude of a unique response (individually or communally) loneliness. Don t constantly search for someone to tell us what to do. Practice small surrenders / responses (acts of asceticism). Answer the phone politely / with hospitality Sit patiently, silent attentive for the duration of one cup coffee Listen without interrupting another speaker (someone we don t like) Yield to another person s convenience (if no critical issue is involved) Don t try to justify a mistake or failure when we know we have been wrong (hasty hurtful words) 4
THREE OPPORTUNITIES FOR SPIRITUAL LISTENING (LIFE FORMATION) 1. Listen to your own life: In solitude reflection, meditation, prayer 2. Formative spiritual reading: Pay attention to the words of a Master 3. Listening in common: Listen and speak in the presence of others who are engaged in and committed to the process of ongoing life formation. 5
1. LISTEN TO YOUR LIFE: (the inner word) OBSTACLES: a. Noise: Inundated in an external world of constant, loud noises which are always trying to catch our attention; constantly, frequently, rapidly and insistently. (television, computer, cell phone chatter, radio, music from a passing automobile ) Inundated in an inner world of self-talk and chatter, an inner running commentary which spontaneously connects us to our past experiences and our reactions to them Can we discover and enter a silence behind the noise? Can we gradually begin to hear the Voice that speaks within the silence? In times of reflection and / or prayer: When standing before God, you rush to speak, your heart bursting with needs and urgency. You crowd the air with words of praise and pleading. You leave no room for Silence and none for hearing. It is not God you worship, but your own voice and opinion. Better to stand in Silence. Do not rush your words, but seek to quiet them. With a quiet mind, a heart still and silent, you will see the infinity of God and the finity of self. Humility will embrace you, and you will fade into That Which Is All That Is. Your words will be few; the Silence, great. There is room then for listening. Willing to die, You give up your will Keep still, until Moved by what moves all else You move. (Wendell Berry) (Shapiro, Ecclesiastes 5:1) 6
b. Preoccupation with speed and production: Hard to sit still for any length of time waiting Sitting still doesn t seem to be productive. Seems a waste of precious time. Better to use time to achieve a tangible product or result. c. Need to be in the presence of others who agree with me or who I agree with (premature bonding my club) who I feel depend on me or who I depend on to give me a sense of belonging and importance. Try to avoid the loneliness of a unique call and response. Often we strive for many superficial connections to avoid aloneness or silence. Yet we have a very different experience in the presence of someone we love and care for. Words don t seem adequate to describe this deeper communion and as the relationship deepens words actually seem unnecessary and even interfere with deep presence. d. Tendency to judge our life experience: We judge the events of our lives based on the tapes and videos that we created in the past in our attempt to find meaning, significance, consistency and coherence in our lives. (Like constantly trying to earn a father s attention. Like refraining from close relationships to avoid loss). We fail to let the unfolding events and relationships of our lives re-constitute and re-configure our understanding of our life direction and spiritual identity. We resist what we cannot understand and refuse to permit and foster the formative disintegration of our lives that makes possible its re-integration as a fresh incarnation of the fullness of life promised by Jesus. (Congeniality, compatibility and compassion) I have come that they may life and have it to the full. (Jn. 10: 10) FACILITATING CONDITIONS: Be quiet: Be still: Practice: Find a place apart from outer noise. Put the old videos and tapes on pause. Do nothing. Don t try to achieve anything. Don t judge success or failure. Be simply present. Set up a routine in which you show up again and again to let your life speak to you. Don t make your practice and experience a topic of casual conversation 7
2. FORMATIVE SPIRITUAL READING: (the written word) ORIENTATIONS FOR LISTENING TO COMPREHEND: In this orientation, words are seen as vehicles of information. Words are static and have a clear, single-meaning. We collect and accumulate these words to support our desire to feel competent, creative and successful; to be in control and to master our life situation. We are pleased when we can say I get it, when we have solved something or figured it out. We have a sense of accomplishment and pride and specialness in belonging to a select group of others who also feel that they Get it. (Calculus, New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle, the writings of Thomas Merton, a work of art, a book on prayer, a joke, a passage from scripture, Dallenbach s Cow) TO UNDERSTAND: In this orientation, we stand under the word. Words are pliable, resilient and rich with depth and meaning. We hear Living Words, words which are intimately connected to life. These words draw me out of myself and into their own unknown, wider and mysterious world. In this form of listening, I never fully Get it. This can be a source of frustration but it also can provide an opportunity for humility, openness, appreciation and gratitude. These words invite me into a dialog with others who similarly don t fully get it but who also understand the word without full comprehension. We experience a different sense of relatedness with these others - a sense of communion which allows and even celebrates the uniqueness and difference of each ones understanding. (a work of art, poem, parable, Koan, community, documents like the FP or Charism description) 8
OBSTACLES TO LISTENING IN FORMATIVE SPIRITUAL READING: If we objectify the word and take it only in its static sense, we will tend to act as a master of the word. We will be inclined to stand over the word and judge it, either accepting it or rejecting it based on: If I comprehend it; If I agree with it; If I like what I hear If I don t get it; If I disagree with it; If I dislike what I hear ACCEPT REJECT/DISMISS In this mode of listening, there is little room for mystery or the willingness to be challenged and formed by a word which we stand under (under-stand). there is a belief that the more we accumulate, the better off we are and will be. there is little tolerance for different reactions and responses to the word there is a firm conviction that we can comprehend the word in its entirety, based on our own personal knowledge and life experience. What might these reactions sound like in everyday speech: I already know that. I know what that means. I ve heard that before. That s old-fashioned and outdated information. I can t do anything about that. There s so much information to gather. I have to read so much and so quickly that I have to be satisfied with summaries and sound-bites. I don t have time to listen to what everyone else thinks about everything. 9
FACILITATING CONDITIONS FOR LISTENING IN FORMATIVE READING Words can become formative when I become a subject rather than a master of the word. When I don t get it, something else becomes possible. I can then begin to try to understand the word rather than master it. I can enter a dialog, a relationship with a living word and be formed by it. Nurture a disposition of mature naiveté (child - likeness): humility, appreciation, awe and acceptance of what is given in the everyday, ordinary, unspectacular flow of life. Nurture a tolerance and appreciation for the familiar, for that which has withstood the test of time and still remains relevant. (Onceness.) Daily practice: Take time (receive time) each day to stop for a few moments and waste some time in simple attentiveness. Listen to what calls to you, what appeals to you: both what you are attracted to as well as what you resist. Practice the art of repetition: Keep re-hearing the words that speak to us. Let that word resonate and re-echo so as to penetrate our hearts and spirits more deeply with each repetition. Put informational reading at the service of formation. Re-read informational material with a formative disposition. 10
3. LISTENING IN COMMON: (the spoken / shared word) In the beginning was the Word The Word was with God And the Word was God And the Word was made flesh And lived among us To all those who accepted (listened to) Him, He gave power to become who they really were Children of God. (John 1:1-14) FINDING DIRECTION IN COMMON (Listening to living words) This might be described as the practice of listening in the presence of others for threads of common foundational experiences. It requires that openness and special attention be given to resonances and resistances which might point to foundational spiritual directives. What we experience in common leads to personal appraisal, tentative response, and finally a committed response. Direction in common can serve our personal formation by opening us to the insight and experience of others. It provides an opportunity to engage with others in active community and communion. In this sense, listening can be a formative experience in the life of the listener. Similarly, the experience of being listened to, can be formative in the life of the one being listened to. I suspect that each of us has had the experience of being in the presence of someone who is a good listener; who is fully present to us attentively and non-judgmentally; who does not see our life as a problem or constantly give advice; who appreciates and respects the mystery of our life and our freedom and capacity to engage in our ongoing life formation. Each of us can hear the same sounds and the same words but they are not the same words. (Recall the experience of Pentecost when each heard the Word in his/her own language.) Words are living and their directive formative meaning may change depending on the historical/social context of our lives; our receptivity, our capacity and our potency for appraisal; the action of the Spirit in each unique life. Every human utterance is surrounded by a mystery. It is part of our nature not to be able to express the whole truth in words. Within the realm of creative silence the individual does not notice any opposition between oneself and the community, for the individual and the community do not stand against each other, but both face the silence together. (Max Picard, The World of Silence) 11
OBSTACLES: To listen with an informational bias. To feel that we have to do something about what we hear To judge the word by our reaction to the speaker and not to the word spoken. He / she thinks she knows so much more than I do. I know more that he / she does about that. To assume we know what the speaker s words mean in the context of the speakers own life based on what it might mean in the context of our personal life. To constantly look for new and clever insights and miss the simple, time-tested foundational truth. FACILITATING CONDITIONS: Listen for foundational and universal truth, in the common, ordinary and unspectacular words of others. Don t constantly look for novelty, the newest, latest thing on the block. Keep in mind the deeper communion that we share, each one standing under the Word. Do not judge others or yourself. Stay open and attentive. (Listen to your brothers, ff.) like any other meaningful effort, the ritual involves sacrifice, the suppression of selfconsciousness, and a certain precise tilt of the will, so that the will becomes transparent and hollow, a channel for the work. (Annie Dillard, Teaching a Stone to Talk, p. 68) 12
FORMATIVE READING / LISTENING Find a quiet, comfortable place where you can be physically comfortable and not self-conscious. Relax for a few minutes. Select a relatively short passage and read it slowly, reflectively, meditatively. What do you think is the message of this passage? What is the author trying to say? Now re-read the passage and as you read, underline any words or phrases which capture your attention. They may be resonances or resistances to what you are reading. What memories, aspirations, anxieties, anticipations are evoked in you? underlined touch upon your own life? How do the words you What insights arise as you allow the words of the text to penetrate your life experience? Do any of the words affirm you in your attempts to live a whole-hearted and faithful life? Do any of the words awaken you to obstacles which interfere with your generous response to the presence of God in your life? From your reflection and prayer, do you experience any directives or dispositions which might serve the ongoing formation of your life as a disciple of Jesus Christ? APPRAISAL OF DIRECTIVES Show up be fully present and attentive Move slowly - Listen non-judgmentally - with an open mind and heart to that which is meant for you Pause to let the message reverberate and resonate with your life. Does the message seem to be congenial, compatible and compassionate with respect to: Your life history The lives of those with whom you share relationships Your faith and formation tradition Does any directive begin to emerge a direction which points out a way for you to listen and respond to God s presence and call in your life? Consider a tentative incarnation of the directive o The directive may be the decision to offer a time each day for simple listening presence in silence without necessary activity to follow. o It may be the willingness to surrender the need to give advice (which may be a subtle form of pride, control and power over the life of another) o It may be the decision to listen without judgment or comment to another person s life experience. Reappraise and consider a more lasting commitment A QUESTION TO PONDER: Can the practice of Formative Reading and Formative Appraisal be applied to Formative Listening? Where do difficulties arise in trying to apply this practice to formative listening? 13