OFFICE OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY NEWSLETTER Marriage & Family two by two MAY 2014 IN THIS ISSUE Mother s Day celebrates its 100th birthday on May 11th Trivia about Mother s Day The early Christians celebrated Mother s Day on the fourth Sunday of Lent to honor the Blessed Virgin Mary Mothering Sunday began in England in the 1600 s which was observed on the fourth Sunday of Lent, and included the tradition of people returning to their Mother Church as part of the event. May 8, 1914, President Woodrow Wilson signed a Joint Resolution designating the second Sunday in May as Mother's Day, a national day of celebration The giving of carnations started in 1905 when Anna Jarvis (contributed with being the founder of Mother s day) sent carnations to the church on the year her mother died Today, FDT reports it sells $1.9 billion flowers for Mother s Day Hallmark reports over 133 million cards are sent the third most popular holiday to send cards Phone calls increase 37% (AT&T), only behind Christmas Watch this special tribute to Mom s. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kml IO3mBFVU&utm_source=Ascension+Pr ess&utm_campaign=c90eac0bc0thank_you_mom_teaser4_23_2014&ut m_medium=email&utm_term=0_e09e1 2a778-c90eac0bc0350486917&mc_cid=c90eac0bc0&mc_ei d=2ac38be246 Mother s day 100th birthday Two New Saints! Amazing Videos Show Growth of Children Video Of Conception To Birth Is Worth Watching Again And Again America s Funniest Home Video The Five Keys to Nurturing SelfControl Have You Encouraged Your Spouse Today? Fortnight for Freedom June 21-July 4th Successful Sex Pre-selection using Natural Family Planning Discipline: No Surprises Humanae vitae Award Nomination Natural Family Planning Instruction Dates Mary s Coronation LIKE US ON FACEBOOK \\ www.facebook.com/omfstcloud
TWO BY TWO May 2014 2 Two New Saints! From Zenit:, Pope Francis Homily Saint John XXIII and Saint John Paul II were not afraid to look upon the wounds of Jesus, to touch his torn hands and his pierced side. They were not ashamed of the flesh of Christ, they were not scandalized by him, by his cross; they did not despise the flesh of their brother (cf. Is 58:7), because they saw Jesus in every person who suffers and struggles. These were two men of courage, filled with the parrhesia of the Holy Spirit, and they bore witness before the Church and the world to God s goodness and mercy. They were priests, bishops and popes of the twentieth century. They lived through the tragic events of that century, but they were not overwhelmed by them. For them, God was more powerful; faith was more powerful faith in Jesus Christ the Redeemer of man and the Lord of history; the mercy of God, shown by those five wounds, was more powerful; and more powerful too was the closeness of Mary our Mother. In these two men, who looked upon the wounds of Christ and bore witness to his mercy, there dwelt a living hope and an indescribable and glorious joy (1 Pet 1:3,8). The hope and the joy which the risen Christ bestows on his disciples, the hope and the joy which nothing and no one can take from them. The hope and joy of Easter, forged in the crucible of self-denial, self-emptying, utter identification with sinners, even to the point of disgust at the bitterness of that chalice. Such were the hope and the joy which these two holy popes had received as a gift from the risen Lord and which they in turn bestowed in abundance upon the People of God, meriting our eternal gratitude. This hope and this joy were palpable in the earliest community of believers, in Jerusalem, as we read in the Acts of the Apostles (cf. 2:42-47). It was a community which lived the heart of the Gospel, love and mercy, in simplicity and fraternity. This is also the image of the Church which the Second Vatican Council set before us. Saint John XXIII and Saint John Paul II cooperated with the Holy Spirit in renewing and updating the Church in keeping with her pristine features, those features which the saints have given her throughout the centuries. Let us not forget that it is the saints who give direction and growth to the Church. In convening the Council, Saint John XXIII showed an exquisite openness to the Holy Spirit. He let himself be led and he was for the Church a pastor, a servant-leader. This was his great service to the Church; he was the pope of openness to the Holy Spirit. In his own service to the People of God, Saint John Paul II was the pope of the family. He himself once said that he wanted to be remembered as the pope of the family. I am particularly happy to point this out as we are in the process of journeying with families towards the Synod on the family. It is surely a journey which, from his place in heaven, he guides and sustains. May these two new saints and shepherds of God s people intercede for the Church, so that during this two-year journey toward the Synod she may be open to the Holy Spirit in pastoral service to the family. May both of them teach us not to be scandalized by the wounds of Christ and to enter ever more deeply into the mystery of divine mercy, which always hopes and always forgives, because it always loves. FOR MORE INFORMATION - In Church history, he's best regarded as a revolutionary leader. But John XXIII was at heart a man of the people. To view the video click here. http://www.romereports.com/pg156553-thelife-of-john-xxiii-from-a-small-village-to-thechair-of-peter-en Amazing Videos Show Growth of Children Washington, DC (LiveActionNews) I just discovered the wonder of time-lapse videos. I recently saw my first one on YouTube. It s a popular video by Dutch filmmaker Frans Hofmeester called Portrait of Lotte. Hofmeester filmed his daughter Lotte every week from birth to 14 years old. The video shows Lotte going from a smiling toothless baby to a young girl with braces. You can see Lotte talking in the video, but the only sound you hear is sweet background music. Since its release, the video has over 4 million views on YouTube. TIME Magazine reported that Hofmeester makes time-lapse videos as a way to bond with his children. He has another video of his son Vince growing up from birth to age 11. Hofmeester used the time he shot the videos to talk to his kids about their lives and how their weeks were going. I was mesmerized watching the video. As I watched Lotte transform before my eyes, a thought came to mind: This father really loves his daughter. That was the sense I got. He is enjoying every part of her life, and he sees the beauty in every stage of her development. Maybe that s why the video is so popular. It s a picture of a father s love for his daughter. To view the two videos: Portrait of Vince: http://www.lifenews.com/2014/04/24/dad- films-his-son-every-single-week-for-11- years-the-result-is-astonishing/ Portrait of Lotte: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uh1x5ar tjsq
TWO BY TWO May 2014 3 VIDEO OF CONCEPTION TO BIRTH IS WORTH WATCHING AGAIN AND AGAIN Article from Abstinence Clearinghouse Link to video: http://www.lifenews.com/2014/04/16/amazingvideo-of-conception-to-birth-is-worth-watchingagain-and-again/ America s Funniest Home Video These Laughing Quadruplets Won on America s Funniest Home Videos, Watch and See Why: http://www.lifenews.com/2014/04/18/these-laughingquadruplets-won-on-americas-funniest-home-videoswatch-and-see-why/ FAST FACTS 3.8% Nearly half of adolescent crimes are committed by a miniscule 3.8 percent of teenagers. This group of teenagers averaged 278 offenses each over the course of the five-year study, which followed the teenagers from the age of 12 through 16. 16% There is a comparable percentage that is especially crime-averse. With only 16 % who reported having the strongest morals committed a measly 0.5 % of offenses FOR MORE INFORMATION Study: Juvenile Crime Based on Morals, Not Poverty from Cambridge University. Read more at: http://www.movieguide.org/newsarticles/study-juvenile-crime-based-on-moralsnotpoverty.html?utm_source=icontact&utm_medi um=email&utm_campaign=movieguide%c2%a E%20Newsletter&utm_content=DVD+Edition The Five Keys to Nurturing Self- Control by Dr. Todd Cartmel If you want your children on a self-control workout plan that would make even Mr. Olympia proud, here are five keys to building your kids' self-control that you can begin right away. You don't even need a pull-up bar or a gym membership. 1. Foster good habits. What do good habits have in common? First, we don't always feel like doing them. Second, if maintained, they tend to bring positive results. It is the first characteristic that helps to build self-control. Every time your kids engage in a good habit (like brushing their teeth, putting toys away or completing their homework, especially when they don't really feel like doing it), they build their self-control muscle just a little bit more. 2. Encourage responsibility. In an ageappropriate way, allow your kids to be responsible for their own behavior. In other words, if Susie loses a toy that you have repeatedly asked her to put away, don't rush out and buy her a new one. For younger kids, establish a morning and bedtime routine (you can post it in their bedroom and bathroom) and help them learn to complete it on their own. For older kids, assign reasonable household chores and make it their responsibility to remember to do them (although an occasional reminder is OK). 3. Enforce limits. Part of how kids learn self-control is to experience what happens when they do not exercise their self-control. If your child responds in a disrespectful manner toward parents or siblings, then he needs to learn the right lesson, which is that it would have been much wiser had he more carefully considered his choices before acting. A timeout or appropriate loss of privilege will help your child or teen learn that exercising self-control and making a respectful choice is always the best way to go. 4. Hit the pause button. Remember, selfcontrol can be seen in the ability to stop and think before making a choice. Let's take a look at each component. Stop: This means to stop talking and pause all action for a moment. It can be helpful to give your kids something to do while stopping, so taking a deep breath is just what the doctor ordered. (Notice that you can't talk while taking a deep breath.) Stopping and taking a deep breath has never gotten a child in trouble. Think: Once your child has paused, she gives herself the chance to do something important: think. Thinking flexibly means looking at a situation from a different perspective. What follows are four questions your child can say to herself that will help her think flexibly about any situation, build self-control and increase the chances of making a good choice. Customize this list with your child, write it on a piece of paper, and memorize it together so these thoughts become automatic: What is a good way to handle this? What would God want me to do? Is it really a big deal? Should I check with a parent? 5. Encourage delayed gratification. This is the ability to expend effort on a task with no immediate reward. Eating a candy bar, for example, is immediately gratifying. Eating vegetables is often less immediately gratifying (at least from a child's viewpoint), but the payoff is the long-term reward of good health. Be on the lookout for ways your kids can engage in tasks that require delayed gratification, such as saving money, practicing a musical instrument, exercising, studying for tests or (for younger kids) completing puzzles. One final note: When you see your kids working hard on tasks that require delayed gratification, make sure to let them know that you are proud of their effort. A little encouragement goes a long way.
TWO BY TWO May 2014 4 Have You Encouraged Your Spouse Today? To read more on Positive Communication in Marriage, go to: http://www.thrivingfamily.co m/features/magazine/2014/p ositive-communication-inmarriage.aspx Communication is essential to having a good marriage. According to Dr. H. Norman Wright, marital communication should be composed of active listening. Show your spouse that you desire for them to be heard and understood. Some examples include: Listen attentively, don't be distracted by multitasking. Give your spouse encouragement by validating them as an individual. Share freely the aspects about your spouse you especially appreciate. Share genuinely from your heart, and try to find new ways to express your love for your spouse daily. Give your spouse a gift of verbal encouragement and your marriage will flourish. There is no time like the present to give your spouse some emotional validation; start today. Fortnight for Freedom Sunday, June 29, 2014 4 pm at St Mary s Cathedral, St Cloud Holy Hour with Bishop Donald Kettler Successful Sex Preselection using Natural Family Planning Some couples enjoy the excitement of trying to specifically conceive a boy or a girl. With God s grace and the Billings Ovulation Method, they are often able to do so with great success. To learn NFP, visit www.stcdio.org/omf/nfp or call Sheila at 320-252-4721. Following is part of the abstract from a study published in 2011: Abstract: The objective of the study was to test the hypothesis that gender can be preselected by timing coitus in relation to ovulation, the marker of ovulation being the Peak symptom according to the Billings Method. A blind prospective study of 99 couples wishing to preselect the sex of their child was conducted in Nigeria, using the Post-Peak approach of Billings Method for males and Pre-Peak for females. Research co-ordinators examined the post-conception form within four months of conception. This form recorded the timing of coitus prior to conception, and from this, the sex of child was predicted. 94 of the couples had a child of pre-selected sex showing a method success of 94.9%. 78 of 81 predicting a male were successful (96.3%) and 16 of the 18 predicting a female (88.9%) The study indicates that where comprehensive instruction is provided, the sex of a child can be preselected with a high degree of confidence by timing coitus, using the Post- Peak approach of Billings Method for males and Pre-Peak for females (Afr J Reprod Health 2011; 15[1]: 79-84). To read the complete study, visit: FOR MORE INFORMATION http://www.bomausa.org/docs/sex_selection_nigerian_trial_ajr H.pdf
TWO BY TWO May 2014 5 Discipline: No Surprises by Carey Casey One of the biggest challenges for fathers is correcting and disciplining our children. And in today's busy times and with so many outside forces competing for our children's attention and allegiance, training our kids has never been more important. In the moment, we want them to obey us, stop fighting with each other, or maybe avoid destroying property. But we know discipline has a bigger purpose: we want our children to end up as responsible, caring adults who are prepared to thrive in the world. Why is a plan so important? Because it sets clear boundaries and expectations for your children: When you do this, this is the consequence. As a father, when your plan is fully developed, no situation will catch you (or your child) by surprise. You won t find yourself negotiating with your child or trying to think of appropriate consequences; the plan is in place. dad? Is there a general feeling of easiness and acceptance, or tension and distance? All relationships go through seasons where we feel more distant or more comfortable being together. But I think you probably know the overriding mood between you and your kids. I think this is a real challenge for dads. If we aren t giving our children our very best as fathers, it isn t ideal for them as they go through life. Passing on Our Values What s the best way to pass your values to your children? I know that s a huge concern for many fathers. One of my top goals as a dad is that my children would embrace the faith I have tried to live out. And even if religion isn t your thing, today s message still has a big insight for your fathering, so please keep reading. HUMANAE VITAE AWARD NOMINATION May 30th Deadline! Nominate your candidate for the 2014 Humanae vitae Award! Do you know someone who shows great courage promoting the teachings of Humanae vitae in ministry, education, or witness? Submit your nomination by writing a descriptive essay (500 words or less). Visit www.stcdio.org/omf/nfp more information. Send or fax your nomination by May 30, 2014 to: Office of Marriage & Family, Natural Family Planning Advisory Committee, 305 7th Avenue North Suite 100, St. Cloud, MN 56303 E- mail: omf@gw.stcdio.org Fax: 320-258-7658 The Humanae vitae Mass and Award Reception will be July 24, 2014. Furthermore, you can relate to your child with empathy instead of anger, since the plan is what is making his life difficult, not you. Proverbs 3:11-12 provides a good perspective on the attitudes surrounding the disciplining of our children: My son, do not despise the Lord s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. It might seem odd to connect love and delight with discipline, but it s very appropriate. Love for our children motivates us to see the bigger goal of our discipline long-term responsibility and we can do it without being harsh. Keeping a Warm, Close Connection I have been thinking about this groundbreaking insight, and I believe there s more I can do to help you apply this in practical ways with your children. For example, what is a warm relationship with your child? What does it look like? How can you tell if you have one? I was talking with another dad on our staff about this, and our discussion led to questions like, What s the atmosphere when you re together? Are you approachable as a In the recent book Families and Faith: How Religion Is Passed Down Across Generations, Vern Bengtson presents some eye-opening discoveries about religious transmission. Based on his research involving more than 3,500 people whose lives covered more than a century, he found that the pivotal factor in whether children continue their parents faith is a strong bond with their father. When it comes to training kids in matters of faith and morals, we might typically think of teaching them right from wrong, emphasizing obedience to specific rules and expectations, and being a reliable role model for right behavior. But Bengtson found that, while all those things are significant, they aren t sufficient if there isn t a strong emotional bond between the parent and child. A warm, close relationship with one s father makes the most difference in regard to passing on beliefs and values even more than a good relationship with one s mother. The same also appears to be true in nonreligious families: a strong emotional father-child bond creates the best chance for transmitting beliefs and values on to the next generation. Natural Family Planning Instruction Learn the Billings Ovulation Method today! St. Cloud: June 5 at 6:30 PM Little Falls: June 3 at 7:30 PM St. Michael: June 3 at 6:00 PM For additional sites, information and to register Visit www.stcdio.org/omf/nfp or contact Sheila Reineke 320-252-4721 sreineke@gw.stcdio.org Mary s Coronation May Devotions to the Blessed Virgin Mary refers to special Marian devotions held in the Catholic Church during the month of May honoring the Virgin Mary as "the Queen of Mary.