Self-Care: Refresh Your Spirit Presented by: Mary L. Hill, BSN, MA, JD Vice President of Ethics, Avera 1
Learning Objectives 1. Participants will consider the importance of self-care for persons who serve in helping professions. 2. Participants will gain greater insight about their current level of self-care by completing a self-care assessment. 3. Participants will engage in an interactive reflection exercise as one example of a self-care practice. 2
The Importance of Self Care 3
A Soul Weariness That Comes from Caring There is a soul weariness that comes with caring. From daily doing business with the handiwork of fear. Sometimes it lives at the edges of one s life, brushing against hope and barely making its presence known. At other times, it comes crashing in, overtaking one with its vivid images of another s terror with its profound demands for attention; nightmares, strange fears, and generalized hopelessness. Beth Hudnall Stamm, Ph.D., Secondary Traumatic Stress, 1995. 4
The Importance of Self-Care Inadequate Self-Care Increases Risks of: Health problems physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual Anxiety, stress, depression, compassion fatigue and burnout Dissatisfaction Absenteeism Leaving caring professions Errors and substandard care Developing secondary traumatic stress Reduced ability to be empathic Counseling and Development : JCD, 89(2), 163-171; Anne Fisher, contributor April 2, 2013 Fortune 500 Magazine 5
Self-Care Assessment 6
Self-Care Assessment 1. Please place a question mark? next to all activities in which you scored 1, 2 or 3. 2. During the coming weeks, reflect on the possible reasons/resistances for not engaging in these low-scoring activities. 3. Notice what insights emerge. 7
Caregiver Quotes 8
Exhausted when saying yes, guilty when saying no. Thomas M. Skovholt, The Resilient Practitioner, 2001. 9
The expectation that we can be immersed in suffering and loss daily and not be touched by it is as unrealistic as expecting to be able to walk through the water without getting wet. ~ Rachel Naomi Remen, MD 10
Secure your own oxygen mask first before helping other passengers. 11
You can t give what you don t have. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d59zkr6evec Silver or gold I have none, but what I have I give you. Acts of the Apostles 3:6 12
Reflection Exercise 13
Diagramming Your Journey (Thus Far) 1. What is your favorite quote or motto? Please write it across the top of a sheet of your sheet of paper. 2. Think back to the first job you held. At the top left hand corner of the paper, draw a picture, symbol or diagram which depicts that job. 3. In the bottom right hand corner of the paper, draw a picture or diagram depicting your current job/role. 4. Now, think about some of the significant events and decisions which led from your first job to your current role. Illustrate these events with pictures, symbols and/or words to form a journey diagram. Be the change you wish to see in the world. 14
The Power of Reflection Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. Søren Kierkegaard 15
God Working Through Our Stories 16
Identifying Your Calling Seven Ways to Identify Your Calling: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zjiqo7tzhi The Call Of Moses: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=615wfm6ief8 17
Identifying Your Calling 7 Ways to Identify Your Calling Characteristics of Divine Call 1. A vision of what could be. 2. Pain or frustration with what is. 3. I feel like I m supposed to do this. 4. Sense of resonance and flow. 5. You will resist your calling. 6. You don t have everything you need. 7. You aren t yet who you need to be. 1. Initiated by God. 2. Personal, by name, uniqueness of gifts. 3. Requires affirmative response. 4. To wholeness; to be somebody, then to do. 5. Means embarking on a mission. 6. Entails genuine cost or sacrifice (known unknown). 7. Benefits the community of God s people. 8. Always in process. Every response sets up another call. Reference: Tara Sophia Mohr, Living Wiser, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zjiqo7tzhi References: The Major Characters of Matthew s Story: Their Function and Significance, by David Bauer, Interpretation 46 (October 1992): 357-67; Biblical Call by Rose Cecilia Harrington, CSJ, CSJ Associate Handbook 2009-10. 18
Seeing Your Calling in Your Journey 1. Review your journey diagram in light of the ways to identify/characteristics of your calling. 2. What connections or new insights do you have? 3. Please note these on your journey diagram. 19
Praying the Releases and Affirmations A way to modify our thoughts, feelings and actions by changing the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. 20
The Releases Acknowledge the pain at the root of our problems. Allows us to chose to overcome the resistance. 21
The Affirmations We turn to the positives about ourselves. Replace the negative with the positive attributes. 22
Praying with Releases and Affirmations Releases I now release the unrealistic expectations I have of myself. I now release the unrealistic expectations I have of others. I now release altering myself to accommodate others needs. I now release the need for recognition and approval. I now release driving myself to perform and achieve. I now release feeling resentful when others don t reciprocate in the ways I want. I now release the fear of being unwanted and unloved. I now release calling attention to what I have done for others. I now release my fear of being condemned for being wrong. I now release my fear of failure. I now release expecting myself and others to be perfect. I now release being angry, impatient and disappointed. I now release exhausting myself with work and responsibilities. I now release. Affirmations I now affirm that I am loved for who I am, not for what I do. I now affirm that others may need to do and learn for themselves. I now affirm my true motivations for doing and helping. I now affirm that I am compassionate and forgiving toward myself. I now affirm that I am compassionate and forgiving of others. I now affirm that I pursue my own personal growth and development. I now affirm that I can directly ask for what I need and want from others. I now affirm my gratitude for all that I have been given. I now affirm that my best efforts are good enough. I now affirm that I deserve to relax and enjoy myself. I now affirm my spontaneity and sense of humor. I now affirm the integrity of others while maintaining my own. I now affirm that I will meditate or pray daily to center myself and remind myself of deeper values. I now affirm that life is a gift which is unfolding in wonderful and miraculous ways. I now affirm. Reference: Transformations, Don Richard Riso, 1993. 23
Some Time Alone 1. Read over the Releases and Affirmations. 2. Circle the one or two in each category that you believe most characterize you. 3. Sit in silence with these. 4. What emerges? What new insights about yourself surface? 24
Questions and Closing Thoughts 25