Forgiveness. Philemon There are some things built in to humanity that are common to all people on the planet. Some needs and desires are shared by all human beings. We all need food and water. We all have a desire for intimacy, sexual and emotional. Which means we were created for relationships. We all have the capacity to love others, even if we struggle to do it. We all desire to be accepted. And we all want to be forgiven when we do what s wrong. We really don t want to be eternally in debt to someone when our acceptance is in the balance because of a wrong we may have done. And I think we all have the desire for justice to be served on wrong doing. Even on ourselves because in a way it frees us from guilt of what we ve done. When a person goes to jail, they pay they their debt to society. And when they are released hope to start fresh. 20 years ago, a well know elected official: All of you know, I am having to become quite an expert in this business of asking for forgiveness. It gets a little easier the more you do it. And if you have a family, and administration, a Congress and a whole country to ask you re going to get a lot of practice. But I have to tell you that in these last days, it has come home to me, again, that in order to get it, you have to be willing to give it. The anger, the resentment, the bitterness, the desire for re-crimination against people you believe have wronged you, they harden the heart and deaden the spirit and lead to self-inflicted wounds. And so it is important that we are able to forgive those we believe have wronged us, even as we ask for forgiveness from people we have wronged. (Bill Clinton. Aug.28,1998. 35 th anniversary of mlk I have a dream speech.) The problem with most of us when it comes to asking for forgiveness is whether we are willing to admit in the first place that we are wrong and need it. And the problem with granting it is whether we are truly willing to free ourselves from having someone indebted to us. We prefer not admitting we are wrong. And we prefer others know they are and we have something to hold against them. Neither of those preferences should characterize a X follower. Tim Keller, in Making Sense of God Author and teacher Rebecca Pippert had the opportunity to audit some graduate-level courses at Harvard University, one of which was "Systems of Counseling." At one point the professor presented a case study in which therapeutic methods were used to help a man uncover a deep hostility and anger toward his mother. This helped the client understand himself in new ways. Pippert then asked the professor how he would have responded if the man had asked for help to forgive her. The professor responded that forgiveness was a concept that assumed moral responsibility and many other things that scientific psychology could not speak to. "Don't force your values about forgiveness onto the patient," he argued. When some of the students responded with dismay, the professor tried to relieve the tension with some humor. "If you guys are looking for a changed heart, I think you are looking in the wrong department." However, as Pippert observes, "the truth is, we are looking for a changed heart." Secular reason, all by itself, cannot give us a basis for a deep and powerful message of forgiveness and redemption. Our short stories series lands in the letter to Philemon this morning. And as the song by one of my fave theologians, Don Henley, said, its time to get down to the heart of the matter, and I think its about forgiveness.
Its 25 verses between Titus and Hebrews. There are 12 different people mentioned in this letter, but it s really only directed at one. Philemon. But the fact that more are mentioned shows the letter is intended to be read in a setting where several of these people would be. Philemon was a prominent leader in the church in Colossae. He had been a Roman aristocrat that was converted to X when Paul came to town on mission. He had a house large enough to host a church gathering. And he had the means to own slaves. Or servants. Or bondservants. One of which was Onesimus. Before we read this letter, let me say some things about slavery. Generally, our modern view of slavery has been influenced by the practice from the 1800 s of men and women from Africa being forcibly put on a ship and brought to America to be purchased by wealthy landowners, primarily in the south. We ve all seen the movies or documentaries of the inhumane treatment these men and women had to endure. It nauseates me to watch them. Because I can t believe my ancestors could be so wrong to devalue another human being that way. It s equally disturbing that even though slavery was abolished, white folks still find ways to devalue black folks. Who are just as much American, equal in rights and dignity, and just as much valued by God as anyone. Sad that sin of racism still rears its ugly head in our community still today. This kind of devaluing of human beings made in the image of God is sin in one of its most evil manifestations. Exodus 21: 16 Whoever kidnaps a person must be put to death, whether he sells him or the person is found in his possession. God used men like William Wiberforce in England and Abe Lincoln in the US to wake us up how wrong slavery was and they were able to politically end it. But there are still hearts prone to devalue people because of their ethnicity. And you cannot be a gospel minded man or woman and devalue anyone, whether due to ethnicity, or gender, or socio-economic factors, or whatever label you want to attach to them. While this is not a message on racism, the fact the Bible mentions slavery, and doesn t seem to condemn it, has caused some to reject the Bible and the Xian faith. Unfortunately, some wrongly use passages that mention slaves in the OT, or passages like this one in Philemon, justify the practice of slavery. The reputation of our own denomination s defense of slavery in the 1800 s is something we still are trying to change, even though statements of confession and repentance have been publicly issued. We should be very careful not to use the Bible as a tool or weapon to justify something we know God is displeased with. But let s go back to what the NT refers to as slavery. Because it is different than what we think of today. In the NT, slavery was not specific to race. Anyone in debt could be a slave to the one they were indebted to. You could sell yourself into slavery in order to pay back a debt. An indentured servant is a good description. You could be born into slavery. You could be a hired servant to train children in the family in the basics of education or in a certain discipline. So you were like a family member. In Paul s day, the majority of the working population could have been considered slaves. Neither Jesus, nor the NT writers had the abolition of slavery as their central mission.
But the gospel clearly eliminates any value distinction or barriers, or withholding of human rights, that existed in the culture between races, and classes, and genders. Slavery of any kind will not, cannot, continue in God s kingdom culture. Gal.3 28 There is no Jew or Greek, slave or free, male and female; since you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham s seed, heirs according to the promise. Eph.2 14 For he (Christ) is our peace, who made both groups (Jews and Gentiles) one and tore down the dividing wall of hostility. Col.3 11 In Christ there is not Greek and Jew, circumcision and uncircumcision, barbarian, Scythian, slave and free; but Christ is all and in all. This one is significant because the same group who hears the letter to Philemon hears the letter to the Colossians. So here s Paul, in house arrest in Rome, awaiting trial and his impending death, visiting with people who come to his house. Writing letters to believers and churches all around his world. Dictating most of them to a scribe or friend who s with him. Responding to their concerns, and questions. Now keep in mind that Paul writes these letters and sends them to churches to be read publicly for all the believers to hear. And in almost every letter he sends greetings and personal words to specific individuals. If you go back to Col.4. 7 Tychicus, our dearly loved brother, faithful minister, and fellow servant in the Lord, will tell you all the news about me. 8 I have sent him to you for this very purpose, so that you may know how we are and so that he may encourage your hearts. 9 He is coming with Onesimus, a faithful and dearly loved brother, who is one of you. They will tell you about everything here. (Tychicus also delivers a letter to the Ephesians.) 2 letters have been delivered to the church in Colossae. One to all the believers there. And one specifically to Philemon. So picture in your mind a large group of X followers in a home listening to this letter that has been brought from Paul in Rome, by Tychicus and this guy named Onesimus. Who was Phil s runaway slave. Read Philemon. 1 Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother: To Philemon our dear friend and coworker, 2 to Apphia our sister, to Archippus our fellow soldier, and to the church that meets in your home. 3 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 4 I always thank my God when I mention you in my prayers, 5 because I hear of your love for all the saints and the faith that you have in the Lord Jesus. 6 I pray that your participation in the faith may become effective through knowing every good thing that is in us for the glory of Christ. 7 For I have great joy and encouragement from your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother. Let s pause there. You can tell from this introduction that Philemon is no hard-hearted, mean-spirited pastor who has a reputation of beating up on his flock. He has a reputation of encouraging the hearts of the saints he shepherds. Paul considers him a co-worker. Paul has joy and encouragement when he thinks about Philemon because of what he has heard about his ministry. There was obviously a mutual respect between the two. Dear friends. 8 For this reason, although I have great boldness in Christ to command you to do what is right, 9 I appeal to you, instead, on the basis of love. I, Paul, as an elderly man and now also as a prisoner of Christ Jesus, 10 appeal to you for my son, Onesimus. I became his father while I was in chains. 11 Once he was useless to you, but now he is useful both to you and to me. 12 I am sending him back to you I am sending my very own heart. (It s as if Onesimus is one with Paul. Representing Paul.) 13 I wanted to keep him with me, so that in my imprisonment
for the gospel he might serve me in your place. (Onesimus now could represent Philemon. BE as valuable as Philemon.) 14 But I didn t want to do anything without your consent, so that your good deed might not be out of obligation, but of your own free will. 15 For perhaps this is why he was separated from you for a brief time, so that you might get him back permanently, 16 no longer as a slave, but more than a slave as a dearly loved brother. He is especially so to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord. 17 So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would me. 18 And if he has wronged you in any way, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. 19 I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it not to mention to you that you owe me even your very self. 20 Yes, brother, may I benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. 21 Since I am confident of your obedience, I am writing to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. 22 Meanwhile, also prepare a guest room for me, since I hope that through your prayers I will be restored to you. 23 Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends you greetings, and do 24 Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke, my coworkers. 25 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Onesimus has done some wrong to his master Phil. We are not told what he did. Paul offers, in v18, to pay back any debt Onesimus may owe. So it may have been that he took some money. The bigger point is that Onesimus has wronged Philemon and Philemon has a legal right to have it made right. But before that could be dealt with, Onesimus goes awol. And he ends up in Rome. And somehow he ends up with Paul. And he s converted to Christ. He and Paul become very dear friends. Close enough friends that Paul equates accepting Onesimus back with accepting himself, his very own heart. 1. The gospel transforms earthly relationships. When Jesus changes a heart, he changes the nature of our relationships. Paul meets this man who has left Colossae with a debt. Paul refers to him as his child. That s how Paul thought of those he was able to lead to faith in Christ. In fact, he would love to have Onesimus stay with him to help with the ministry. But he doesn t have the authority to make that decision at this point. Like a loving father, Paul is willing to assume the debt Onesimus has to Phil. But consider how much this commitment to X changed Onesimus. Paul says he left Colossae useless and he s returning useful, which is what Onesimus s name means. Before X, Onesimus had no reason to return voluntarily and face the music. But after X, he was willing to take this letter back to his owner and stand in front of the house church while Philemon hears Paul s appeal to forgive this wrong and accept his slave back as a useful brother in the faith. He had to humble himself and risk his relationship with all the folks in Colossae, esp with Philemon. Philemon, because of his commitment as a X follower, is expected by Paul to accept Onesimus back. Paul, because of his convictions as a Xian and a brother, is not expecting Phil to just forgive and forget, ignore the debt. Hey Onesimus is a brother now, so take the loss and move on. No. Paul offers to pay Onesimus s debt for him. Just because someone is a X follower doesn t mean you can take advantage of that. We should be the best bill payers. And not expect special treatment. Just as X reconciles sinful man and holy God, the gospel makes friends from enemies and strangers. Gospel transformation moves us to selflessness. To consider others as more important than ourselves. To have the mind of Christ. To die to ourselves for the sake of the gospel. And that applies to both sides of the forgiveness issue.
The first of which is 2. The gospel reveals our need for forgiveness. You must dies to yourself to seek forgiveness. In light of what Christ had done for him, Onesimus really had no other option than to return to Philemon and seek forgiveness. We can only speculate about how this all went down. But with the kind of description we have of Onesimus and Philemon, it would make perfect sense that he went back willingly, humbly, confessed his wrong to Phil. I think he was hopeful of being received back into Philemon s fellowship and Colossian church. I believe he was fully willing to do whatever it took to be reconciled to his owner, now spiritual brother. That may have meant re-entering the slave status. Making restitution for his wrong. I m sure this was part of Paul s discipling of his new brother and friend. Insisting that Onesimus return and seek forgiveness and restoration of the relationship. And if there was any reluctance on Onesimus s part, it wasn t because he didn t see the need for it. This is a first step in believing and receiving the gospel. We first have to see our need for being saved. Confession of our sin. We have to admit we have wronged God. Whenever we decide to live life our way as opposed to God s, we sin against God. Whenever we know the right thing to do and do not do it, we sin. And sin requires judgment. Repentance was a common part of the gospel and kingdom message. In order to repent, you have to admit you have something wrong you are repenting from. And actively turning to what and who is right. If you don t see that you ve done anything that needs forgiving, you will not seek it. Neither will Jesus seek you. Jesus continually pointed out that he came to seek and save the lost. He came for the sick, meaning those who realize and admit their sin, not those who are well, who do not see they have any need for a Savior. Realizing your need for forgiveness is also an ongoing part of our relationship to God and each other. All throughout the NT we are instructed to be at peace with each other in our church. Our right relationship with God makes us strive to be in right relationship with one another. Otherwise we likely do not understand the depths of what God has done for us to make it possible for us to be right with him. In his most famous sermon, Jesus talked about what it means to be a kingdom minded man or woman. He goes into more depth than his religious counterparts in explaining the real meaning of God s law. Listen to Matthew 5. 21 You have heard that it was said to our ancestors, Do not murder, and whoever murders will be subject to judgment. 22 But I tell you, everyone who is angry with his brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Whoever insults his brother or sister, will be subject to the court. Whoever says, You fool! will be subject to hellfire. 23 So if you are offering your gift on the altar, and there you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled with your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Reach a settlement quickly with your adversary while you re on the way with him to the court, or your adversary will hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you will be thrown into prison. 26 Truly I tell you, you will never get out of there until you have paid the last penny. Paul in Romans 13. 8 Do not owe anyone anything, except to love one another, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. Clearly, the NT pattern for believers who have wronged someone, is to go and try to make it right. To seek forgiveness. To make restitution if appropriate and possible. Not only does the gospel reveal our need for forgiveness Finally,
3. The gospel compels us to grant forgiveness when we have been wronged. I love how Paul is always so confident in his letters. Look back at v8. Although I have great boldness in Christ to command you to do what is right, I appeal to you on the basis of love. What love? The love that these 2 men have for each other. And the love they all have experienced from Jesus Christ. Paul says Onesimus is a different man you knew before. He s one of us. V17, If you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would me. In other words, if I had wronged you Phil, you would forgive and accept me. So don t treat Onesimus any different. In v19, Paul guarantees that He will take care of whatever debt Phil is owed. He is writing at least this part with his own handwriting, which is not usually the case with Paul. He does it here as if to say, this is so important I m writing this myself. And you have my signature on the bottom line. Last part of v19 And don t forget what you owe to me brother your very self. He may be referring to Paul leading Phil to the Lord. I don t think Paul is saying, if you ll let Onesimus off the hook, we ll call it even. I think he s saying, treat this new brother like I treated you. Show him the grace you were shown through X and me. 20 Yes, brother, may I benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. 21 Since I am confident of your obedience, I am writing to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. Whatever the case, Paul is reminding Phil that the gospel should cause him to receive Onesimus back, and is confident Phil will do even more than what Paul expects. Maybe give Onesimus his freedom. Or allow him to go back to Rome and help Paul. The point I want us to see this morning is that we cannot receive forgiveness from God for our sin, and withhold forgiveness from someone who has wronged us. Jesus made this clear in the sermon on the mount. The words of the Lord s prayer can slide through our lips without much thought. Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors. But I m not sure we really think about what we re saying there. So Jesus explains it a bit more. 14 For if you forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well. 15 But if you don t forgive others, your Father will not forgive your offenses. A familiar teaching from Jesus in Matthew 18 can help us see this. 15 If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 But if he won t listen, take one or two others with you, so that by the testimony of two or three witnesses every fact may be established. 17 If he doesn t pay attention to them, tell the church. If he doesn t pay attention even to the church, let him be like a Gentile and a tax collector to you. 18 Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will have been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will have been loosed in heaven. 19 Again, truly I tell you, if two of you on earth agree about any matter that you pray for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there among them. 21 Then Peter approached him and asked, Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? As many as seven times? 22 I tell you, not as many as seven, Jesus replied, but seventy times seven.
Here s a few points from Jesus: - Don t ignore sin. - Don t allow allow sin to fester between you and another brother or sister. Don t leave it unaddressed. - Don t expect someone else to address it or confront this brother or sister for you. - You, xian, have the authority and responsibility to represent God s authority to forgive or not, the one who has sinned against you. Here in Matthew, Peter is wanting a measurement so he can feel like he has met the minimum requirement for forgiveness. Basically Jesus said, there is no minimum. And then Jesus tells the parable of the unforgiving servant. I summarize and paraphrase: A king forgives a man s tax debt of a million dollars. That forgiven man goes out and finds a man who owes him $100. He has this guy thrown in jail because he couldn t pay up. When the king heard about this, he has the first man thrown in jail and punished until he could pay his debt. Which would be impossible. Matt.18 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to you unless every one of you forgives his brother or sister from your heart. The point: Since its impossible for you to repay what you owe to God, don t require the impossible from the one who has sinned against you. Forgive them as you have been forgiven. John Perkins, civil rights activist, pastor, and writer from Mississippi said Forgiveness is one of God s most powerful forces for the gospel. On July 12, 1986, Steven McDonald, a twenty-nine-year-old police officer on patrol in Central Park, stopped to question three teenagers about a bicycle theft. The oldest, a fifteen-year-old, took out a gun and shot him in the head, neck, and arm. McDonald was rushed to a hospital, where surgeons told his wife that he would be paralyzed from the neck down for the rest of his life. McDonald spent the next eighteen months in the hospital. A few years later, McDonald made headlines again, this time because he publicly forgave his shooter. Before his death in January 2017, McDonald explained why he forgave his shooter: Looking back, pondering on my life since that time, it's clear to me that God was in charge. All he wanted was the opportunity to use me. He just needed my yes, and that was made possible by prayer. It's that simple, really. Through the family and friends that God put in my life, and their prayers, God spoke to me and said, "Will you love this boy who shot you?" And the best way that I could love him was to forgive him. Left to my own abilities, I don't think I would have done it. And I know that I would have died a long time ago had I not listened to God, said yes to God, followed the example of his Son, and loved and forgiven. A few things I think we misunderstand about forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn t require forgetting. You can t always forget wrongs done to us. Steven McDonald couldn t forget he was paralyzed by this young man. Maybe it s better to say that forgiveness instead requires remembering. Remembering you are forgiven your wrongs. Remembering you have forgiven that wrong done to you. Forgiveness doesn t immediately or automatically restore trust. Depending on how someone has wronged you, it would be wise to have some boundaries and safeguards in place until you know that person s heart
has been truly transformed. But that does require us to have some level of a relationship with them so we can know and discern what God is doing in their heart. Still, forgiveness is not optional. And we must not hold sin against someone in the way we treat them. Back to Philemon. We don t know what happened! We don t know how Phil responded. And we don t know if Onesimus remained a slave or not. We don t know if Paul ended up paying the debt or not. We do know that these were Christ following men and we have to trust they behaved as such. In whatever state they ended up. But here s how I want to end with us this morning. We can end up or continue in slavery if we don t hear what Paul is saying to his friend Phil. We can hold ourselves as slaves to unforgiveness. By not seeking it. And by not granting it when it is sought from us. And by not receiving it when it is granted to us. An unforgiven or unforgiving heart will become bitter, maybe angry, maybe apathetic, lonely, and useless for the cause of X. That kind of slavery will not, cannot, exist with gospel centered people and relationships. ILLUS: Bible scholar and pastor N.T. Wright retells the following story about an archbishop who was hearing a confessions of sin from three hardened teenagers in the church. All three boys were trying to make a joke out of it so they met with the archbishop and confessed to a long list of ridiculous and grievous sins that they had not committed. It was all a joke. The archbishop, seeing through their bad practical joke, played along with the first two who ran out of the church laughing. But then he listened carefully to the third prankster, and before he got away told the young man, "Okay, you have confessed these sins. Now I want you to do something to show your repentance. I want you to walk up to the far end of the church and I want you to look at the picture of Jesus hanging on the cross, and I want you to look at his face and say, 'You did all that for me and I don't care that much.' And I want you to do that three times." And so the boy went up to the front, looked at the picture of Jesus and said, "You did all that for me and I don't care that much." And then he said it again, but then he couldn't say it the third time because he broke down in tears. And the archbishop telling the story said, the reason I know that story is that I was that young man. There is something about the cross. Something about Jesus dying there for us which leaps over all the theoretical discussions, all the possibilities of how we explain it this way or that way and it grasps us. And when we are grasped by it, somehow we have a sense that what is grasping us is the love of God. Is there one you need to seek forgiveness from? Is there one you need to forgive? Don t wait any longer. Sing Amazing Love (You are My King) Read Philemon 25