The Lost Part Within i
Publishing-in-support-of, EDUCREATION PUBLISHING RZ 94, Sector - 6, Dwarka, New Delhi - 110075 Shubham Vihar, Mangla, Bilaspur, Chhattisgarh - 495001 Website: www.educreation.in Copyright, 2017, Nikhil Nannaware All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, magnetic, optical, chemical, manual, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written consent of its writer. ISBN: 978-1-5457-0920-7 Price: ` 240.00 The opinions/ contents expressed in this book are solely of the author and do not represent the opinions/ standings/ thoughts of Educreation. Printed in India ii
The Lost Part Within Peep into Yourself. EDUCREATION PUBLISHING (Since 2011) www.educreation.in iii
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'What is the story of your love?' Abhinav has asked me one day, while both walking on the lawn in the backside of the college. 'Brother, we are the students of Mechanical Engineering', I replied calmly. Giving strange look to each other both laughed. Possibly you might be familiar with the pain of Mechanical Engineers in this sensitive case of love. 'I don't have, but had one in the school', with a sigh, I replied. I walked putting both hands in the pockets of the pant. A whiff of someone's thought passed by touching the mind! v
Contents P Title Page 1. The story begins 1 2. Memories with friends 10 3. Attraction plus smiling session 13 4. A walk in the rain 19 5. Falling for her 27 6. That message from unknown number 38 7. The unknowingly confessed feelings 48 8. Close to her 53 9. The blissful picnic 68 10. Being in love 81 11. The days without her 96 12. Everything is a mess 109 13. The last embrace 126 14. A thing to confess 136 15. While sitting alone 145 - A Note for Someone 155 vi
Prologue P First love is very pure and unforgettable thing! I don't know how true this statement is. But I can tell you, the first love is much pretty thing. The thing that can change you completely! If your first love is with you today, there is no lucky person like you, but not the every person is that much lucky and neither does every first love lasts forever. Especially if it is of the school time! My situation is so strange currently that I don t know myself what is going on with me. Of course everything is fine and nothing will happen wrong, unless and until I do 'ungli' with the life. So I don't get stressed, and let the things happen. But amazing things like, I go to the college with, vii
'Let's know, kya ho raha hai.' And back with, 'BC yeh ho kya raha hai?' This happens every day and keeps me alive! Engineering is my dream and yet I've not able to know what Engineering is all about! I'm not the only person with whom life happened. But it's really difficult to force the smile when you are broken, and even don't want to smile. Some unknown force makes me do this, and surprisingly I do, I smile. But reality is narrowed only within the heart and inner me! One day I was on the lake, watching the waves of water sitting alone in the evening, as I used to generally. Sound of the song from 'Jannat 2' fell on the ears. It was the FM radio, the blurry light sound, "Tujhe sochta hun main shaamo subah Iss se jyada tujhe aur chaahoon tto kya..." The lyrics were able to straighten the heart. The very first time in my entire life I felt alone, the feeling of loneliness... And after that, it became the one inseparable part of the life. I never thought that feelings could be that much heavier, the way I considered them, they were not! I remembered someone; I remembered her. I remembered the lovely precious moments I had spent with my Love; I missed her, wanted her beside me in that moment. viii
It reminded me the day when I was beside the lake and she was with me, the time when I proposed her and she agreed to be with me! What I was feeling currently was just.., just not finding the correct word for the feel... Suddenly raindrops started softly, the slanting sun rays started vanishing, thirst of the soil seemed to be fulfilled, vapors started coming out through it. I ran a bit and went to the nearby tea stall, for the shade obviously! The slight darkness had spread around because of the dense and serried black clouds. Plus it was the calm evening which turned like this and the atmosphere became breezy. The aloft trees on the both sides were leaning because of the storm of wind. The time was compelling me to remember her. That day I was trapped in between the feelings, what I felt just trapped and it made me numb. 'Bhaiyya ek chai dena', I exclaimed. 'Yeh le chhote chai!' That bhaiyya gave me a cup of tea. Tea was in my hand within a minute. Again while having the tea her thoughts were in the mind. Something started haunting me; her love, her memories. The suppressed feelings peeped out with the time. That feeling when I saw her first time. That feeling, when the girl had stolen my heart with each cute smile. And then one day when she went away, ix
I was looking at her helplessly until she vanished from my eyesight completely. And today I'm all alone! Convincing myself from the long time I forgot her, the damn difficult thing. All this was happening because of the rain came a minute or two before and now had gone, just vanished. Perhaps this was the way of rain to remind her to me, to bedabble me, not by the rain but by her memories, and just to get vanished. Waise toh teri yaad har pal sath hoti hai, Par baarish ho, toh jyada satati hai... P x
Nikhil Nannaware 1 P The story begins First day, 9th class The day seemed to be nice; the sky was surrounded by the clouds, and cool breeze blew around. The rainy days were started. The clouds were playing hide and seek with the sun, somewhere shadow, while somewhere light. The leaves of the trees were making the noise and day's sight was beautiful. After the holidays were over, I did not want to come to the school, and was screaming within, that more holidays should have come. I knew that many students will not come, but even then me and my friends were present on the very first day of the 1
The Lost Part Within school. Even if I didn't want, for some reason I had to. I, Akhil and Karan were good friends and we share the same bond from then to now. I don't remember clearly, how eighth grade completed, but I do remember how I had very good and cool friends. Karan was a good looking and tallest among all the three. Helping and kind nature was gift from god to him. He was talented and also sort of sharp minded, he tried to be cool all the time. I was close to Akhil than Karan. Students used to say that we both are brothers and not the friends. Akhil was the one with whom I could share anything and everything. Other than this, one more, fourth person was with us, Mahesh. Standing in one corner of the large playground - which had five-six aloft trees in the middle of it - each from a distance of about ten feet - and twothree benches beneath it - few of wooden and few of iron - looking to the south I stood there putting hands in the pockets of pant - my normal and standard position of standing - the way I just feel comfortable - we were randomly chatting on the random topics - as there was delay for the daily prayer. 'There is no any new maina in the school, it s boring...', said Mahesh. Maina; the term used by Mahesh for the girls. And since there was no 2
Nikhil Nannaware another topic to talk he was talking about the girls, in his language, maina. 'Listen idiot, you can't see anything other than these things. Your mind is spoiled, you have gone nuts', Karan replied to Mahesh. 'Don't waste your time brother', Akhil suggested him. 'Amey, I feel something is wrong with both of these. Whenever I talk about the girls both act weird, are you getting what I want to say..', he teased, looking at Karan. 'Haramkhore... Put your mouth shut or I'll hit you hard', Karan gave him a look saying this. 'You know girls are like, just girls, girls...', Mahesh started providing his FALTU knowledge. I supposed to laugh but it would have proven harmful to my health, Karan would have done that, so I didn't. But Akhil smiled slightly throughout the conversation. Mahesh was completely crazy, we couldn't say anything at what time he would speak anything to anyone. Akhil used to say that we have life and 'dangerous things like love' should not happen with us right now. And Karan believed that 'Naari badi attyachari!' So we should stay away from them. More than all these things I was focused on the studies, but still I had no stand on things like love and girls. 3
The Lost Part Within After few minutes three girls walked inside, through the main gate. The path passed through the same aloft trees to the classrooms. 'Ahaa... three maina...', Mahesh commented and all started laughing. Karan and Akhil ignored then and continued the chat. But I was frozen for a while! Forget the rest of two other girls, I just saw that girl, only her, I didn't paid any attention to rest others. The rest had already become blurred by her side. 'Gorgeous!' I murmured. I didn't want to say that, but did. Only Akhil listened that, I was fortunate! I wanted to look away, but didn't. I just could not! Lost somewhere! Her blinking eyelids made me crazy. I didn't saw the shades in her eyes, but whatever, they looked hazel. For a second I felt blank and at the next moment I was actually blank! She just looked simply sweet. Perfect. Because of the wind, her hairs were coming on the face, escaped from the loosely tied hairgrip, and open to her back, mostly flowed covering her left temple. She adjusted them with her delicate hands slowly, caressingly. The words of Michael, I remembered them, she was as same as the floating feather in the careless breeze! I will not talk about her lips! 4
Nikhil Nannaware I disgust it to discuss about lips. Of course when it comes to 'kiss' you can't disgust it, but... Let it be. As dew glistened, Her trembled lips Her innocent smile, My heart skipped a beat Something was like love at first sight! I thought so, it must be. That feeling, of the cool breeze, or playing guitar music in the background, the slow motion walk, and heart skipped a beat, blah, blah... I considered these things FALTU. These things are just fiction, I considered, till the time my eyes fell on her! It happens actually! It didn't happen exactly but I felt something similar to that. Like feathers floating in the air, my mind which was full of stuffs and so many things turned calm suddenly. Everything seemed peaceful by her dimple on the right chick. Probably she was not that much beautiful, not that much beautiful anyone could fell for her by only one glance at her. But I found her that way, and she was nice. When someone spends time with her, that person would surely fall for her. I felt something for her by only one glance, not sure what was that. 5
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