! He Would Not Grieve Hopelessly

! He Would Not Grieve Hopelessly A. When I was in grade school 1 of my classmates missed school: 1. Not unusual. Kids get sick all the time. 2. But then we learned that her father had suffered a heartattack died at the age of 33. 3. From that day on, I worried about losing my Dad. B. Today, my Dad is 90. But the day Mom calls to say he s taken his last breath, I don t think I ll grieve excessively: 1. I ve been grieving his death since I was 9-years-old! 2. You d never believe how many times I ve woken up in the night weeping -- b/c Dad died in my dreams. 3. And he s had the audacity of living 57 extra years! C. On the night B4 Dad s birthday, I called all of our girls: 1. Tomorrow, Grandpa Thomas turns 90. 2. Would you phone, email or text him? 3. Later, Did you know all three of the girls called? D. I ve been preaching since 1972 and you can t possibly imagine all the things I ve heard/seen! 1. I ve watched adult children come to blows over worthless items b/c of sibling rivalry. 2. And I ve seen other people counting the days til Mom/ Dad pass away b/c they re loaded need the money. 2

E. Is that terrible or what? 1. When someone passes, we find ourselves not so much loaded as lost! 2. There are few experiences in life that shake us more than the cloud of grief. F. The Bible has some things to say about grief and one of the most helpful passages is on the screen: 1 Thessalonians 4:13 We do not want you to be uninformed about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the average person, who has no hope. G. That verse may be familiar but look at it again, carefully: 1. Make sure you don t read it incorrectly. 2. Some believers teach that we aren t supposed to grieve (READ MY LIPS: That is incorrect!). 3. We aren t supposed to grieve like those w/o hope! H. It s perfectly acceptable to grieve! 1. The shortest verse in the Bible says, Jesus wept. 2. We re supposed to walk in His steps. 3. So grieve away! Just don t grieve hopelessly. I. If this is your first visit, we re in a series called What Would Jesus Not Do: 3

1. It s a takeoff of Charles Sheldon s 1896 book titled, What Would Jesus Do. 2. But we ve inserted one word WWJND. J. For example, in John 4 (Samaritan woman) we said that JC Would Not Bypass Opportunities: 1. In John 8 (adulterous woman), we said that JC Would Not Cast Stones. 2. In John 13 (Upper Room w/disciples), we said that JC Would Not Avoid Smelly Feet. K. Today we re in John 11 (Lazarus dies): 1. Mary/Martha, If you had been here our brother would not have died. 2. When JC heard the news (John 11:35), Jesus wept. 3. But he didn t grieve w/o hope! L. I want to focus on one particular week in the life of Christ: 1. JC became friends w/a family of three siblings. 2. Their names were Lazarus, Mary and Martha. 3. The brother, Lazarus, suddenly became ill/died, and JC grieved that loss but he didn t grieve hopelessly. M. This is one of the more emotionally charged weeks of his life: 1. I don t care who you are, it hurts to disappoint people especially family. 2. JC felt the same way! So I want to point out four options we have for handling grief. 4

" I. We Can Face It A. Somebody suggested a new sermon series last week: 1. Sermons w/o sports stories or jokes. 2. I wasn t gonna tell any this week just to prove that I could but I can t! B. Our world views death from a variety of prisms. Let me illustrate: 1. Remember the movie, Field of Dreams? 2. Deceased baseball players walked out of an Iowa cornfield and played baseball under the lights! 3. Is that what heaven is really gonna be like? C. Shirley MacLaine became famous for her belief in reincarnation: 1. I heard about wife who got sucked into reincarnation. 2. Husband said, Does that mean I m gonna come back as a worm in the next life? 3. Wife, No. You can t be the same thing twice! D. Regardless of who you are where you work what you re worth or what you believe 1. Every view of death has one thing in common: you have to face it. 2. Heb. 9:27, It is appointed unto all men once to die, and then the judgment. 5

E. John 10 concludes w/jc on the other side of the Jordan River when word arrived that Lazarus was sick: 1. JC said, Let s go back to Judea. 2. But his disciples protested! They were concerned! The last time he was there the Jews had tried to stone him! 3. When it comes to facing death we avoid it at all cost! F. But JC spoke up and said: 11 Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up. 12 His disciples said, If he s sleeping, he ll get better. 13 Jesus had been speaking of his death, but his disciples thought he meant natural sleep. G. JC ignored their concern and off to Judea they went! 1. His example can serve as a model for one of the difficult steps in the process of grief 2. Facing death. H. I can think of at least two realities we can t ignore: 1. 1 st, Death Is Beyond Escape. 2. In spite of exercise nutrition health food supplements the statistics on death don t change. 3. Everybody dies! Family friends classmates. 6 I. The 2 nd reality is that It Is Beyond Reason:

1. Methuselah is the oldest man in the Bible (969). 2. But when JC was born Herod killed all the other baby boys. 3. Why does one person live and another person die? 4. Why does God heal one person ignore the next? J. I ve been preaching since 1972 here s what I ve learned: 1. Nobody knows why! 2. There are no known answers to the why question. 3. There is no logical reason for God s sovereignty. 4. But it helps to face it the sooner the better. " II. We Can Feel It A. We re emphasizing the difference in the way we grieve from the way the world grieves: 1. And an acceptable form of grief is the pain we feel. 2. Several weeks ago I told you the story of Annie Beiler (Annie Anne Pretzels). 3. The Mennonites teach that you grieve quietly. B. But JC didn t hide his pain: 1. By the time JC arrived in Bethany, Lazarus had been buried for four days. 2. When Martha heard JC was coming, she ran to meet him. 3. If you had been here my brother would not have died! 7 C. Then Mary heard that JC had arrived and she ran to meet him:

1. Want to guess what she said? (vvs. 21/32 are identical). 2. If you had been here my brother would not have died! 3. I think those girls had been talking for four days! D. But please notice how JC responded: 33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 35 Jesus wept. 38 Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. E. Here s my point: 1. When a person feels something deeply, that does not mean their faith is weak. 2. Means? They feel things deeply! F. The day we began to ask for pictures of your loved-ones, Boyd/ Sandy Cope emailed a picture of their grandson: 1. I just saw the picture of your grandson, Daniel. 2. Boyd: I look forward to funerals that are victories. 3. But when someone dies B4 their time, that s hard. 4. Grandparents/parents weren t built to bury the young. 8 G. That s true, isn t it? 1. When the elderly die, they re receiving their reward. 2. Or, their suffering on earth has been replaced w/a new,

healthy, spiritual body in heaven. 3. But there s a tunnel of pain to get to paradise! H. Did you know that on 9/11, 250 British citizens and relatives died in the Twin Towers? 1. Want to guess what the Queen did? 2. She played our Nat l Anthem at Buckingham Palace at the Changing of the Guards. 3. Grief is the price we pay for love. I. Professing faith in Christ does not exempt you from paying the price of pain: 1. JC was omniscient. JC knew Lazarus would rise. 2. But when he saw/listened to Martha Mary and their friends grieve he felt their pain. J. The hardest thing your pastors have to endure is your pain: 1. We ve had more than our fair-share of funerals! 2. Absolute tragedies! 3. People w/great faith! 4. But their faith does not erase the pain; it s the price we pay. 9 " III. We Can Fight It A. Some of us have a stronger will than others to live: 1. I ve seen it w/my own eyes. 2. When some people approach the end, they re ready.

3. But others resist nature s pull and that resistance includes survivors. B. When Martha heard that JC was coming, she ran to meet him: 21 Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask. C. Sometimes, grief makes us mad. I heard about an elderly lady who died and she had never married: 1. She had no children left her estate to her siblings. 2. She was angry! Her will stipulated female pallbearers. 3. They wouldn t take me out when I was alive, so they aren t about to take me out dead! D. There s nothing wrong w/being angry at death! 1. There s nothing wrong w/a good fight! 2. Some of you have a fierce will to live! 3. What the rest of us need to embrace is the response of JC. 4. He did not become defensive! 10 E. Martha/Mary sent word to JC that Lazarus was sick: 2 This Mary was the same Mary who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair. 3 So the sisters sent word to Jesus, Lord, the one you love is sick.

F. John is painting a picture of frustration: 1. Everybody is special but this family felt extra special! 2. They sent word. They expected an ambulance! 3. They knew that JC could prevent their brother s death! 4. So when he delayed they found fault! G. In fact, please notice the response of JC. He said 4 This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God s glory so that God s Son may be glorified through it. H. JC knows that one way we express grief is by righteous anger and fault-finding: 1. If you are a fighter, you identify. You blamed yourself! 2. You questioned the Dr.! 3. Sometimes we become angry w/the deceased or we lash out at God. 11 I. I m here today to assure you that He s big enough to handle your anger. Jesus wept is more than trivia! Psalms 56:8 You have seen me tossing and turning through the night. You have collected all my tears and pre- served every single one of them in a bottle! " IV. We Can Fix It

A. Elizabeth Kubler Ross wrote the book on handling grief: 1. Denial anger bargaining depression and acceptance. 2. That s a good book but I prefer the way JC handled grief. B. I love the story of the little 5-year-old who had a pet turtle: 1. Like most little boys w/a pet turtle, it didn t last long. 2. That turtle died and that 5-year-old sobbed! 3. Mom/Dad did their best to console w/o luck. C. Dad decided to make a little coffin: 1. The son heard the saw and decided to check it out. 2. Dad explained that when people die they re buried. 3. His son listened and then he volunteered to help. 4. Cut wood sanded corners nailed it together. 12 D. By now the boy was really into it: 1. His mother volunteered to make a cake 2. Went to the store for ice-cream 3. His friends came over for the funeral service 4. Youth Minister was called he dropped by w/bible. E. Just as the Youth Minister started to talk, that turtle moved: 1. Then he started to crawl! 2. His Dad s jaw dropped and then he shouted, Son, he s still alive!

3. Boy frowned and said, Let s kill him quick, Dad! F. When you stop to think about it, that s the story of Easter: 1. JC died but he didn t stay dead. 2. Just like Lazarus! G. Martha suggested to JC that if he had not been absent, her brother would not have died: 1. Added: I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask (vs. 22). 2. JC replied (vs. 23), Your brother will rise again. 13 H. JC/Martha were talking about the same thing but they weren t talking about the same time: 1. JC was talking about Lazarus raising from the dead and living again on earth. 2. Martha was talking about the 2 nd coming! I. Jesus said to her 25 I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live. 26 And whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?

J. This passage does not exempt us from death: 1. In fact, JC says that we will die. 2. But we won t stay dead! 3. If we believe his message and if we live for Him we will live again! K. To emphasize this point, JC went to the tomb of Lazarus: 1. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance (vs 38). 2. In vs. 43 JC said, Lazarus, come forth! 3. Barclay: He called his name lest the cemetery emptied! 14 L. That his hopeful grief! 1. You have to face it, even though you don t like it. 2. You will feel the sting of pain (can t get around it). 3. More than likely, you will experience anger. 4. Eventually, over time, you realize that death is temporary. M. BTW, I m combining two series this morning: 1. WWJND and Life Verses. 2. You submitted nearly 50 Life Verses last fall. 3. Jesus Would Not Grieve Hopelessly and I m using someone s Life Verse to close.

N. Today s Life Verse was submitted by Paula Reed: 1. Terry/Paula are the parents of two children. 2. Stephanie Brooks is their daughter; Jordan is their son. 3. Jordan is a 2003 Cville grad and he went to be w/the Lord in 2015. O. Here s a portion of the note she sent last fall: After thinking about your request I realize that there isn t just one life verse I could send you. It seems that my/our life verses have been as different as the seasons of life. We have many go-to verses that have sustained and encouraged us along the way, and yet there are verses that have spoken louder in some seasons than others. In the early days of unspeakable grief, I poured over the entire Psalms, finding comfort in the writers honest lament in suffering and confusion over God s silence. When I couldn t feel God s presence, Psalm 34:18 brought peace. I read again the book of Job to help me see that I will never understand the why but need to trust and focus on the who. As tears continue, Psalm 56:8 is of comfort as I know my tears are meaningful to Him and he must have a really BIG bottle for mine! When grief overwhelms me, Lamentations 3:21-24 gives me fresh hope. If I had to pick a verse for this season in life, it would be Revelation 21:4. 15 P. Revelation 21 4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no

more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. One day, one glorious day, everything sad will be untrue and hope will be unnecessary, as it will be a reality.