YOUR ATTITUDE & BELIEFS and how they determine the life you live PERSONAL PLAN SUCCESS DEFINED ROLES STRATEGY PASSION Live beyond your past CODE OF CONDUCT ASPIRATIONS Your governing attitude has been moulded and shaped throughout all of your life. GOALS VISION PURPOSE DEFINED SUCCESS REDEFINED VALUES As with the shaping of your self-image, each phase of your lifeline has left you with a specific mindset - all of which, together, determine your governing attitude. Now go back to the work that you did in Modules 7 and 15, and remind yourself of your past mindsets, as well as your aspirational mindsets. Consider how your past mindsets have governed your attitude, and the impact that your aspirational mindsets will have on your life into the future. Also, try to develop new insights about your current governing mindsets and attitude. Attitude really is everything. Well, almost. After months of work, it is time for one of the big moments of this programme maybe a big moment in your life overall perhaps even a defining one If you have not yet done so before today, it is time for you to acknowledge that the quality of your life is largely determined by your attitude. Sure, most people know this. But most know it only at an intellectual level. Few understand it at an emotional level. And it s time you do. That s what this Module is about. (I acknowledge though that - as has been the case with much of the content of this programme - a lot of people knew this long before hearing it from me.) It s a popular motivational mantra that you choose your own attitude. I agree. And, from your own past experience, so too should you. But you will also agree then that the result is short-lived. Because you don t just get to choose an attitude at a whim. You do so over time. A long time. Since when you first developed consciousness. And, when you decide to change it, again, it takes time. And effort. Loads of it. Why? Because governing attitude, driven by your mind-set, does not exist in isolation. It is founded, and firmly so, on your beliefs. These beliefs sit at the very core of your being. Copyright 2012 Steve Simpson and Stef du Plessis www.stefduplessis.com 81
Your mindset (or mindsets), and, as a result your attitude, are mere mirror reflections of these beliefs. If you want to change your attitude, you need to change your mindsets (we explored this in Modules 7 and 15 ) and your beliefs. If you do, it will, quite literally, change your life. And that s not motivational hype. But it s a process, not an event. And you ve got to really want to. Because challenging your core beliefs may just turn out to be one of the most challenging things you ll ever do. After all, you are your beliefs. So, questioning this goes to your innermost being. Now for the good news: we re already some way down this path. Because we ve surreptitiously been exploring your beliefs since the early stages of this programme. Now it s time for you to put a spotlight on them, and to name them. Let s begin First, review your lifeline. But now with the benefit of illumination from all of the other work that you ve done (specifically in Modules 7 and 15 ). Can you identify any of your beliefs? Can you name them? Now think back to the work you ve done in more recent Modules. You envisioned who you want to become, what you want to do, and have, and you thought about the legacy you want to leave. But here s the thing: your beliefs not only define who you are. They are also the boundaries for who you can become. If you want to be more than you already are, you will first need to change at least some of your beliefs. Don t want to change your beliefs? No worries. But then also accept that you can t be more than you are right now. No more happy. No more successful. No more content. It follows then that if you want to attain all of your aspirations, you will need to change all of your beliefs. (Personally, I think that changing all of your beliefs will demand super-human power.) Let s agree that in order to achieve, and sustain any personal change or transformation you need to challenge (and probably change) at least some of your beliefs. Once you decide which ones you are willing to change, you can then review your aspirations to fit with what changes you are willing to make. Do you remember that I earlier mentioned that dead-end aspirations (those that you aspire to, but do not have the potential to fulfil) may turn to envy? And that envy is the cancer of the soul? Well, if you have aspirations that are beyond the reach of any limiting beliefs that you hold, and if you can t or do not want to change those beliefs, best then that you let go of the aspiration. Or you will just be miserable. Make sense? Copyright 2012 Steve Simpson and Stef du Plessis www.stefduplessis.com 82
This also means that you may have to review some of your values, your vision, and possibly even rethink your purpose. And you may need to review your 5-Goal summary at the end of Module 29. You may, rightly, be thinking: Stef! Dude! Why didn t you come up with this belief thing in Module 1 already? Because, Stef, if you had, then everything I ve done so far would have been aligned from the get-go! Simple. Because, beliefs are just that. Beliefs. And they are so strongly embedded in our being that it s not easy for us to think outside of our belief framework. In the absence of ample, compelling evidence, most of us just do not have the capacity to confront our beliefs head-on. And so I elected to help you gather your own evidence, gradually, as you made your way through earlier Modules. Hopefully, enough of it by now to make a compelling case for you to challenge, head-on, some of your core beliefs. Also consider this: Your truth is not the truth. It s only your truth. If it is not serving you well, challenge it. And if necessary, change it. It s time for you to try to crystallise your core beliefs. Your beliefs about yourself. About other people, relationships, roles and entitlement. About what other people owe you, what you owe them in return. Beliefs about why your life is where it is (which, by the way is because of choices you made or choices you failed to make - no more, no less). I know it s not easy. In fact, this might be one of the toughest things you ve done in a while. But you want to change, don t you? And you won t if you don t. Jot down some of your core beliefs here. If possible, name them. Try to limit it to 10. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Copyright 2012 Steve Simpson and Stef du Plessis www.stefduplessis.com 83
We (hopefully) already agree that some of these beliefs will not allow you to be more, have more and do more than you already are, have and do. Now frame them so that they will allow you to achieve and then sustain the future you want. Phrase them in the present tense and say them as if they are already true. WHAT I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE GOING FORWARD 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. This takes us as far as I know how. I don t have a formula for helping you to change your beliefs. I m struggling to reframe my own. Speaking for myself, I believe that the quality of my life depends almost entirely on my beliefs. I also believe that the extent of my emotional freedom is determined by my ability to challenge, and where necessary, to reframe those beliefs that are holding me back. It s hard. But worth it. Because if I don t, then nothing changes. I choose not to believe in the use of affirmations as a vehicle for creating new realities (here I m referring specifically to the ritual of repeating self-affirming phrases out loud). Rather, I do my best to be conscious of my self-limiting beliefs and their negative impact on my life. I remind myself as often as I can of the fact that I can change my reality if I change my beliefs. And gradually over time, change does happen. Personally, I choose to believe that doing nothing is not an option. But you need to decide for yourself whether or not any of your own beliefs are holding you back; whether you want to do something about it; and if so, then what. Copyright 2012 Steve Simpson and Stef du Plessis www.stefduplessis.com 84
A PARTING WORD So, in the very end I let you down by not leaving you with a step-by-step solution for reframing your beliefs. Perhaps this is the best of all outcomes: for you to know what needs to be done, but leaving it up to you to figure out this last, critical step of the journey for yourself. I have something else to leave you with though. Maybe even way more valuable than had I connected the last of the dots for you. It s a philosophy for you to live by. One that I learnt from the Ovambo tribe in Namibia... In their tradition, when someone wants something - be it a better life, better relationships, whatever - they typically go to the elders for counsel. First, they share what they want to accomplish. Then the elders offer whatever advice and suggestions they have. Finally, and without fail, the elders will add: Tjiyetau Ombaze. Loosely translated, it means: Go to it. Here s what I know for sure: there is a better way of living. A better way of being. We can do more, be more, have more. Give more, and leave more behind. But you have to live by the code: Live in the moment, without fear of the future or regret of the past. Realise that you can t do it alone. Know that your beliefs create your reality, and do something about those that are holding you back. Stop blaming. Take responsibility for your actions. Choose your own path. Stop living by accident. Live on purpose. And stop waiting for it to come to you. It won t. You have to go to it. The elders are saying that if you want to lead a life of significance, one that you can be proud of, then start by doing all the things that you already know to do. Then commit fully. Set out with resolute determination, and Go to it. Go now! Thanks for allowing me to share the start of this journey with you. P.S. Tjiyetau Ombaze is from my book African Wisdom for Everyday Living. It s available direct from my offices. Copyright 2012 Steve Simpson and Stef du Plessis www.stefduplessis.com 85