Think about how you were parented and if you are a parent, how you parent.

I once heard: Who loves a child first is where their allegiance will be. In the realm of Parenting do you think that this statement is true and does it really matter? Think about how you were parented and if you are a parent, how you parent. As we look back at that statement: Who loves a child first is where their allegiance will be, in the realm of the rest of our lives does it really matter? To start this week we are going to ask a lot of hard questions as it relates to relationships, especially a parent/child relationship. Think back to when you were a child: if you were constantly asking your parent to come here what did they do? Now if you are a parent ask yourself the same question as it relates to you and your child? When you were a child trying to get the attention of your parent what did they do? Now if you are a parent ask yourself the same question as it relates to you and your child and answer seriously what is it that you do? When you were a child and you needed your parent did they drop everything to help you or did they ignore you? No if you are a parent do you drop everything or ignore them and pray they would go away? As a child who did you look up to? Again if you are a parent who does your child look up to? 180 Curriculum 2013 Page 1 of

As a child if you had the opportunity to play with friends at your home or someone else s where did you want to play? If you said you wanted to play at friend s homes, why? If you are a parent: answer the same question about your children, where do they prefer to play? If you say at other children s homes why? Those answers are very important because you and now your children should always want to be at your house. Give me some reasons you/your children would want to play elsewhere instead of at your home: If the reason they or you wanted to be at anyone s house besides your/their own was anything but because they had better toys, you may need to relook at your home life and how you grew up. Especially if the reasoning s are they or you don t (didn t) feel safe, there is fighting always going on. What about too many people coming and going or too many loud noises. Children need a positive role model was that your mother and father in your life? If it was not, why? Again if you are a parent are you that positive role model for your child(ren)? If you are not: What do you need to do to be the role model that your child wants in their life? As you think about your childhood.who was it that told you Good Job, I m Proud of You, You can do it. If you say no one think hard, was there a teacher, a bus driver, a VBS teacher? If you still say no one, think about your child(ren), do you tell them Good Job, I m Proud of You, You can do it? 180 Curriculum 2013 Page 2 of

All these sayings are filling a cup in our inner-selves called a love cup. If your parent did not fill your love cup as a child who or what did you find to fill that cup? You see, that cup is there in all of us and if a child s is not filled by a parent IT WILL BE filled by someone. So if you are a parent who is filling your childs cup? You as a parent may say; well it s not a big deal they are only 3 or 4: it does become an issue when that said 3 or 4 year old grows up into a teenager. Who then is going to fill the daughters or sons love cup? Will it be a relationship that goes too far too quickly, then onto the next relationship? Every time a person enters a relationship they give some part of themselves away, then by the time they are ready to get married there is nothing left for their spouse. What if it s not just one relationship, what if it s the gangs or local drug dealers or worse yet the local would be hero- the knight and shining armor, the Prince Charming that is actually a pimp. I know that you are thinking this would never happen to me or my children but take some time to think about the love cup and its need to be filled, again as it relates to you and or your children. According to Gary Chapman who wrote the book The Five Love Languages for kids. The individual languages are: 1. Quality time 2. Physical touch 3. Gifts 4. Act of service 5. Words of affirmation. So let s talk about them one at a time. When you the words Quality time what do you see? Quality time is about being with your parent and really only being with each other. Kids who need quality time, crave alone time with their parent so that they can talk and bond. 180 Curriculum 2013 Page 3 of

When you hear the words Physical touch what do you think of (remember this is about children)? Physical touch is showing love through hugging, cuddling or simply putting a caring hand on someone s shoulder. Kids who need physical touch want you to hug them; they want cuddle time and always show PDA or public displays of affection to feel that you love them and to demonstrate their love for those they care about. You may think you have a clingy child, well now you may see that their love language physical touch. What do you think of if I say Gifts? The love language gifts, does not have to be large or extravagantly expensive gifts; it can be notes, CD s, flowers or even a cookie. People who need gifts feel validated when you spend money and/or time picking something out for them. In Acts of Service it is exactly that, doing an action for the other. This can be picking up your child s room, cooking their favorite meal or maybe a dessert. By doing that act of service the other person feels love. When you hear words of affirmation what do you think? Words of affirmation are compliments and reassurances that confirm inner love in an outer way. Give me some examples of words of affirmation or compliments: 180 Curriculum 2013 Page 4 of

So now let s look at your child(ren) or even you when you were a child: If you have children fill in the blank with the name(s) of your child(ren) If your child asks, Can I help you? their love language is service. If your child asks, Did I do a good job? their love language is words of affirmation. If your child asks, Do you like the picture I colored for you? their love language is gifts. If your child asks, Can I snuggle with you? their love language is touch. If your child asks, Can I go with you? their love language is quality time. Children want THEIR PARENT more than things So let s go back to our original question: Who loves a child first is where their allegiance will be. Does it really matter? Relationships between a parent and child are very important. Children are our next leaders in any generation, and God put parents in charge not the other way around. Children are also gifts from God. Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him Psalms 127:3(NLT) Parents are also to mentor them in the way of the Lord. Fathers (mothers) do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. Ephesians 6:4(NLT) Looking at the previous verses what has God asked you as a parent to do? So based on what we have just talked and learned about journal your thoughts about how you were or were not parented and if you are a parent what might you need to change? 180 Curriculum 2013 Page 5 of

Goals for the week: 180 Curriculum 2013 Page 6 of

This week you will only have 2 scriptures. I want you to take your time to meditate on these two scriptures and really see how God talks to you throughout the week. Days 1-4 These are the commands, decrees and laws the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. Hear, O Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your fathers, promised you. Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. When the LORD your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant then when you eat and are satisfied, be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. Fear the LORD your God, serve him only and take your oaths in his name. Do not follow other gods, the gods of the peoples around you; for the LORD your God, who is among you, is a jealous God and his anger will burn against you, and he will destroy you from the face of the land. Do not test the LORD your God as you did at Massah. Be sure to keep the commands of the LORD your God and the stipulations and decrees he has given you. Do what is right and good in the LORD's sight, so that it may go well with you and you may go in and take over the good land that the LORD promised on oath to your forefathers, thrusting out all your enemies before you, as the LORD said. In the future, when your son asks you, "What is the meaning of the stipulations, decrees and laws the LORD our God has commanded you?" tell him: "We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, but the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand. Before our eyes the LORD sent miraculous signs and wonders great and terrible upon Egypt and Pharaoh and his whole household. But he brought us out from there to bring us in and give us the land that he promised on oath to our forefathers. The LORD commanded us to obey all these decrees and to fear the LORD our God, so that we might always prosper and be kept alive, as is the case today. And if we are careful to obey all this law before the LORD our God, as he has commanded us that will be our righteousness." Deuteronomy 6(NIV) Day 1 What does this mean to me? 180 Curriculum 2013 Page 7 of

How will this affect my way of thinking? How does this make me feel? What have I done in the last 24 hours that I am proud of and why? What have I done in the past 24 hours that I wish I had done differently? How can I avoid this in the future? 180 Curriculum 2013 Page 8 of

As you finish this day tell God how you really feel (If you do not believe that God is listening, just try it) God today: God I am thankful for: Day 2 What does this mean to me? How will this affect my way of thinking? 180 Curriculum 2013 Page 9 of

How does this make me feel? What have I done in the last 24 hours that I am proud of and why? What have I done in the past 24 hours that I wish I had done differently? How can I avoid this in the future? As you finish this day tell God how you really feel (If you do not believe that God is listening, just try it) God today: 180 Curriculum 2013 Page 10 of

God I am thankful for: Day 3 What does this mean to me? How will this affect my way of thinking? How does this make me feel? What have I done in the last 24 hours that I am proud of and why? 180 Curriculum 2013 Page 11 of

What have I done in the past 24 hours that I wish I had done differently? How can I avoid this in the future? As you finish this day tell God how you really feel (If you do not believe that God is listening, just try it) God today: God I am thankful for: 180 Curriculum 2013 Page 12 of

Day 4 What does this mean to me? How will this affect my way of thinking? How does this make me feel? What have I done in the last 24 hours that I am proud of and why? What have I done in the past 24 hours that I wish I had done differently? How can I avoid this in the future? 180 Curriculum 2013 Page 13 of

As you finish this day tell God how you really feel (If you do not believe that God is listening, just try it) God today: God I am thankful for: 180 Curriculum 2013 Page 14 of

Days 5 and 6 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother" which is the first commandment with a promise "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free. And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him. Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Pray also for me that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should. Tychicus, the dear brother and faithful servant in the Lord, will tell you everything, so that you also may know how I am and what I am doing. I am sending him to you for this very purpose, that you may know how we are, and that he may encourage you. Peace to the brothers, and love with faith from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love. Ephesians 6(NIV) Day 5 What does this mean to me? How will this affect my way of thinking? 180 Curriculum 2013 Page 15 of

God I am thankful for: Day 6 What does this mean to me? How will this affect my way of thinking? How does this make me feel? What have I done in the last 24 hours that I am proud of and why? 180 Curriculum 2013 Page 17 of

As you prepare to meet with your friend/mentor or your group be prepared to share so that people can hold you accountable to reach your goals. Also if you have thoughts you want to share jot them down here: And if you are doing this with another person or group here is a place to put down prayer requests. If you want them to be prayed for by AtG please send an email to prayer@atghope.org 180 Curriculum 2013 Page of