Living For Eternity Part I: Living Each Moment for Maximum Impact Rabbi K vod Wieder Rosh Hashanah 5779 As a rabbi, one of the greatest privileges I have is to officiate at funerals. I don t feel this way because I have a morbid fascination with death, but because at funerals, I get to be a witness to how a person s life and choices live on through the people they love. Listening to a person share about how their loved one s support kept them going through hard times, how their loved one s faith in them gave them the confidence to take risks, how their loved one s hard work and determination was a model that laid a foundation for their own successes - it has become crystal clear to me that our choices and actions endure way beyond the moment in front of us and even beyond the grave. Much of the time, our choices seem insignificant because we either think they only affect us, or we think that their effects will be washed away in the tide of an ever-changing world, or that no one is really paying attention. But at a funeral, when people take time to reflect on who a person is and how their life has been impacted by them, we realize that there is an eternal dimension to every moment - that every choice is like a stone being dropped in an infinite pond, where the ripples go farther than our eyes can see. 1
Funerals are among the experiences where we might ask ourselves, What will they say about me when I m gone? It can be a sobering moment where we are inspired to lead lives of greater impact and purpose - where we realize that the clock is ticking and if we are not engaging the question of how our lives can be the greatest vehicle for love, justice, and truth, then we are just wasting time. But how long does that motivation last? How do we take those moments of inspiration and make a lasting change so that if we were to look down at our own funeral from above, we would feel a sense of satisfaction and contentment that we truly lived our greatest vision for ourselves? Rabbi Daniel Cohen teaches that we can effectively respond to this question by reverse engineering our lives. In the conventional sense, reverse engineering a product is the process of discovering the technological principles of a device, object, or system through analysis of its structure, function, and operation. It often involves taking something apart and analyzing its workings in detail, and then trying to make a new device or program that does the same thing without using or simply duplicating the original. When we reverse engineer our lives to truly maximize our potential of what we are put here on earth to do, we start with both our best vision of who we are and who we could be. We start with writing our own eulogy. 2
What would we want others to say about us? I always felt I could go to my Dad for support - he was always a great listener. My mom was not afraid to stand up for what she believed in. She worked tirelessly so that underprivileged families would have access to medical care. I worked with so-and-so for 40 years and he always went out of the way to let me know what he appreciated about my work. Our eulogy is our product. To reverse engineer it, we have to break it down - what are the moment to moment decisions that will lead to creating a person who will live on in others, continuing to be a light and inspiration. And, then how do we design our lives to achieve our vision of ourselves? The third book of the Torah is entitled Vayikra - And God called and speaks to the reality that all of us are called for a unique mission and purpose here on earth. For some of us, our purpose is found in our work - our vocation - which comes from the Latin root vocare - meaning to call or be called. Rabbi Isaac Luria -the great Kabbalistic master of the 16th century shares how we will be judged by God at the end of our lives. The most haunting question will be: Did we realize our mission in this world? However, our mission does not have to be just one thing. Take the following story from about a student of the Baal Shem Tov (an 18th century Jewish spiritual master). The student felt that after much 3
preparation, he was deserving of a vision of the prophet Elijah. Elijah was a prophet appointed by God who appeared periodically throughout history to shepherd the Jewish people. Like an angel, the presence of Elijah promises a touch of the Divine and magical guidance to help us through our journeys. The student s master, the Baal Shem instructed him to visit a certain town and ask to be hosted at the home of a specific family. Make sure to bring them food, the Baal Shem Tov added. The student eagerly packed a wagon full of food and set off. Upon arriving, he was directed to an old, dilapidated house, the home of a poor widow with many young children. The student spent Shabbat with them and was only too happy to share his mountain of food. But Elijah never showed up. The Baal Shem Tov then instructed the student to try again the next week. As he approached the door, he heard a child s voice say, But what will we eat on Shabbat? A reassuring parental voice replied, Don t worry. Just like Elijah came last week, he ll come this week again! The student set out to find Elijah in some remote location only to realize that Elijah lay within. It was in that moment of recognition when he realized that he was the one the family was waiting for. He was the agent of kindness. In that moment, he realized that he embodied a mission beyond himself. Rabbi Cohen calls these Elijah moments. If we were to discover these moments every day, not only would we lead more impactful 4
lives, but the world would be a radically different place. We can never know who we will be an Elijah for, but if we live with this idea in mind, we can maximize our opportunities. Jewish mystics suggest that not only do we have a mission in life, but one that changes from one day to the next. Just as God renews creation every day, God also renews our responsibility to the world. Every day, we encounter either new people, new circumstances, or new opportunities, and we are called upon with the gifts and talents we possess, to rise to the occasion. There s no room for complacency. This is the bar. It s very high. What did each of us do today to uplift another soul? What can we do today to be an Elijah? It can be at the Trader Joe s, or showing up to make a minyan at our Tuesday healing service. It could be as simple as a call to offer support to a coworker, friend, or family member. Each of us can be an Elijah. If we want to live lives of infinite impact, then we need cultivate the mindset of the Elijah Moment. It s about realizing that one person cannot change the world, but we can change the world of one person every day. It s about living with the heightened awareness that each day offers a new opportunity for meaningful connections and service. But this won t happen by itself. Being profitable in business doesn t happen without setting goals, benchmarks, evaluation processes. Being healthy and fit doesn t happen without a routine of regular exercise and cultivating 5
regular healthy eating habits. To create an ongoing mindset where we recognize Elijah moments, we cannot wait for external circumstances to jolt us into action, but we need to cultivate an ongoing mechanism to keep our ideal self front and center. One obstacle to creating this mechanism is that we live in a world bombarded by noise. Wherever we go, we re confronted by sounds and sights vying for our attention. Even if we are by ourselves, often our personal electronic devices are constantly notifying us to pay attention to something else. We need to develop the discipline to create ongoing moments of silence and reflection. There is a great story about a farmer who lost his watch somewhere in his barn. He had his whole household and everyone who worked for him scour the barn -searching top to bottom for the watch and after an entire day of looking, no one could find it. When his teenage son arrived home from school that day, he immediately went into the barn and found the watch. His father asked him - how did you find it so quick? His son said that he waited until everyone had left the barn and it was quiet, and then put his ear to the ground and heard it ticking. 6
If we are able to take regular time-out to get quiet, we can better hear our deep values and priorities speaking. Imagine taking fifteen minutes by yourself every morning - to sit silently. Maybe you engage the prayers of our tradition, maybe you just ask God help in finding your Elijah moments today - maybe you affirm the person that you want to be today. Starting out the day with that focus makes it more likely that as the fullness of the day unfolds with all its details, you will better notice the opportunities to give, to shine some light, and will take them. The key to success is making this quiet, reflective time a habit, a part of our routine, like brushing our teeth. We are more likely to invest our time like this if we understand how to most effectively use this time. We are also more likely to make this a part of our lives if we feel connected to other people who are also prioritizing meaningful connective time. To help us be able to better live in this conscious way, we are launching the Temple Beth El Center for Meditation and Jewish Spirituality - an intentional effort to organize already existing programs and create new ones to give us the teachings and tools to uncover our Elijah moments and deepen our reflective and meditative efforts. This program center includes classes, monthly meditation sessions, our special Jerusalem Shabbat service, weekend meditation retreat, as well as an effort to cultivate small 7
congregant groups who wish to have this focus. You can find the full list of offerings in our Temple talk. We are also beginning on our small groups campaign a three month period where you meet four times with a group of congregants and get to know each other around the topic The Relevance of Judaism in the 21 st Century. Youtube videos from Rabbi Miller and myself, music from Cantor Young, and a discussion booklet will guide you in sharing yourselves with each other in a meaningful way. You can sign up online to be the one to host people in your home, or sign up as a participant to be hosted. You can form a group around already existing friends, or request to meet new people. If you d like to host, you can pick up a discussion booklet on your way out today. But either way, sign up online to participate. And, if you are looking for a more dramatic Elijah moment, consider coming with Cantor Young and myself to an 11 day trip to Israel next June. It will be a mind blowing, heart-opening multi-generational trip that will have separate tracks for adults without children and parents, engaging experiences for children, and journeys we will take together as one intergenerational family. This memory making together will connect us to our history, our heritage, and this world-wide people that we are a part of. 8
There is no question that this will be a once in a lifetime experience. You can read about the full itinerary at our webpage online. One of the names of Rosh Hashanah is Yom HaZikaron - the day of memory. As we begin the new year, we are asked to consider - what are the memories that we want to create. If I believe that my choices and actions live on eternally through the memories that others have of me, what do I want those memories to be? If I am open to the possibility that the memories I create with others have the potential to make a lasting impact, to lift up another, to improve their lives, what do I need to do today to make that a reality? As we begin another year together, we can move forward with the joy and the knowledge that this community is here to lift each other up and create memories of sweetness and blessing. 9