Sufferology : Counseling Toward Adjustment in Suffering HOWARD E. DIAL* Suffering is a universal experience. But suffering in the life of a Christian has special significance, and the effective counselor must know the biblical teaching regarding suffering. Practically all counseling situations involve some degree of affliction on the part of the counselee. It may be physical (e.g., loss of health) or mental (a hurting conscience). Economic stress, disappointments, loss of a loved one, living with an unsaved spouse, and job pressures all qualify as suffering. One may be undergoing great pain because of a misguided pursuit of happiness. Solomon s experience recorded in Ecclesiastes is a vivid account of sorrow which comes from going down the dead-end streets of life. A life without God is wearisome (Eccles. 1:8), sorrow (1:18), vanity and vexation of spirit (2:26). It is important, therefore, to be able to help the counselee make the biblical adjustment to suffering. Failure to help will allow unresolved conflicts to continue and hinder any progress. For example, if Mary is married to an unloving and nonunderstanding husband, and has to bear the major responsibility for rearing the children and managing the house, she must understand her experience as suffering (of which she is probably well aware). Mary must know the difference between disciplinary and non-disciplinary suffering. She must know why one suffers and how the believer is to adjust to suffering in a Christ-honoring way. She must put affliction in biblical perspective before she can begin working on her marriage. In essence, all counseling deals with suffering to some degree, and the counselor must know his sufferology. I. Why does the believer suffer? I hurt, but why am I hurting? The Bible gives some answers. * Howard E. Dial, M.Div., Th.M., is pastor of Berachah Baptist Church, Atlanta, Georgia. He is a graduate of Columbia Bible College and Grace Theological Seminary. 19 1979, The Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation All rights reserved. No portion of this publication should be reproduced, copied or utilized in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from The Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation. Inquiries should be made in writing, addressed to CCEF, 1803 East Willow Grove Ave, Glenside, PA 19038.
First, some general reasons for suffering. The Christian suffers because he lives in a sin-cursed world (Rom. 8:22; Gen. 3), because he possesses a sinful nature (which does not improve with age) (Rom. 7:7-25), because he is identified with Christ and is therefore hated by Satan and the world (John 15:18-19; I Pet. 5:8; Col. 1:24), and because the believer is identified with other members in the body of Christ (I Cor. 12:26). Suffering in the believer s life actually falls into two categories: disciplinary and non-disciplinary. A. Disciplinary suffering There is a sense in which all suffering may be described as disciplinary in that discipline in its broadest sense is training in God s school of wisdom, but I am using discipline here in its narrower sense of chastisement. Sometimes it is necessary for God to apply corrective discipline because of unchecked sin in the believer s life (I Cor. 11:28-34; Heb. 12:4-11). It will be necessary for the counselor to draw attention to the recognition of and response to this type of suffering. It may be diagnosed by careful self-examination. This spiritual inventory should look for unconfessed sin(s) of commission or omission. Are there sinful habits that have been ignored? Have I sinned against another believer? Once diagnosed, the treatment must be applied. The biblical response to divine discipline includes: (1) Recognition of its source. It is an affirmation of my sonship. God is dealing with me as a son out of love (Heb. 12:5, 6). (2) Repentance (I John 1:9; James 5:15). There can be no adequate treatment of pain, be it physical or mental, until sin has been acknowledged (Ps. 32:5, 1). (3) Realization of its purpose. God applies necessary pressure for unconfessed sin to promote holiness of life (Heb. 12:10), to produce an obedient spirit (Heb. 12:9), to promote the fruit of righteousness (Heb. 12:11), and to prevent further complications brought on by sin. The following principles should also be kept in mind when it comes to an accurate appraisal of divine discipline. Sin always brings consequences, and these may be viewed as part of God s chastening. The longer sin goes unchecked, the more severe the discipline becomes (I Cor. 12:29-30; I John 5:15, 16). God may use the authority of government, home, school, or church to discipline the believer (I Pet. 3:17; 4:15; Eph. 6:1-4; I Cor. 5:1-8). God does not discipline His children for sins committed prior to conversion (though the results of such sin may still be experienced), nor does He discipline for sin already confessed and handled biblically (I John 1:8). He is just. God does not put us in double jeopardy. And finally, disciplinary suffering becomes non-disciplinary when one s sin is confessed. 20
B. Non-Disciplinary suffering All suffering is not disciplinary in nature. The suffering counselee must come to know this. The where - there - is - woe - there - is - wickedness philosophy dominates the attitude of many Christians. Job received this kind of counsel from his friends, like many since his day. Though we may tend to suspect the presence of sin where there is suffering, we must not allow this tendency to eclipse other primary reasons for the experience of pain in the Christian s life. In a given occasion of suffering, any or all of the following divine purposes are present: 1. The promotion of spiritual maturity (James 1:2-4). 2. To promote endurance the ability to turn adversity into spiritual prosperity (James 1:2-4). 3. To promote wisdom the ability to relate truth to experience (James 1:5-8). 4. To produce humility (James 1:9-11). 5. To provide the opportunity for rewards (James 1:12). 6. To prove the genuineness of our faith (I Pet. 1:6-8). 7. To manifest the fruit of the Spirit (II Cor. 4:11; Gal. 5:22, 23). 8. To provide opportunities to witness for Christ (I Pet. 3:15; Phil. 1:12). 9. To learn contentment (Phil. 4:11). 10. To help others who suffer (II Cor. 1:3-24). 11. To rebuke believers guilty of pride and spiritual cowardice (I Cor. 4:9-16). 12. To demonstrate the power of God in our lives (II Cor. 11:24-33; John 9:2). 13. To learn obedience to the will of God (Heb. 5:8). 14. To vindicate the character of God before Satan (Job 1:6-12). 15. To vindicate Job before Satan (Job 1:6-12). 16. To instruct the believer in the holiness of God s character (Job 42:5, 6). 1 These spiritual realities will help the sufferer put his affliction in perspective. He is then on a positive footing and is now ready to learn how to adjust to suffering so that God s purposes may be realized in his life. II. How is the believer to adjust to suffering? First of all, how not to respond to suffering: (1) Don t jump to hasty conclusions. Views based solely on one s observation or experience can be dangerous (remember Job s three friends). (2) Don t misapply Scrip- 1. General editor s note: This is an important list; counselors would do well to reproduce it (together with the biblical references) in their Bibles for quick reference in counseling. 21
ture (e.g., trying to find a verse which I can claim to get me out of the affliction). (3) Don t indulge in anger or self-pity. (4) Don t be passive and think this is patience. (5) Don t think God is obligated to remove the suffering if I ask Him to. (6) Don t think pain is alien to the Christian way of life. Our hedonistic culture may influence us wrongly. The greatest good in the Christian life is not freedom from pain. It is the development of Christ-likeness. Peter s first epistle was written to suffering churches in Asia Minor. In chapter 4 are 11 principles which will enable the afflicted to orient their circumstances. It is like flying by instruments. Inclement weather and night-flying demand directions based on objective factors such as the altimeter, air-speed indicator, turn-and-bank indicator, etc. One cannot rely on hunches or hearsay. The same is true when one faces adversity. The child of God must handle it God s way or suffer the consequences. 1. The Christian should have the same attitude toward suffering that Christ had (I Pet. 4:1). He says arm yourselves (oplixo, equip, get ready for battle). The aorist imperative stresses the urgency of the command. At least two qualities were a part of Christ s attitude toward suffering acceptance (Matt. 26:39) and endurance (Heb. 12:2). His endurance exemplified itself in His forgiving spirit, concern for those suffering around Him, and a clear sense of purpose. 2. The Christian should put his suffering in proper perspective (I Pet. 4:7). This involves sound judgment and a sober spirit. Stability and self-control mean that the sufferer will make doctrinally based judgments and will not fall victim to mental intoxication, i.e., he will not act under the influence of false values. The experience of affliction may bring deep sorrow, but biblical objectivity should not be surrendered. Escape is not the answer to suffering. The way out of testing is through testing (I Cor. 10:13). 3. The Christian should utilize his prayer privilege in a time of suffering (I Pet. 4:7). The proper mental attitude toward suffering makes intelligent praying possible (eis proseuchas). One major incentive for this is that we have a high priest who can sympathize with our weaknesses (Heb. 4:15, 16). The pastor should teach his people to pray in a time of suffering. This will help prevent the kind of emotional and unbiblical praying often engaged in by believers when tragedy strikes. 4. The Christian should demonstrate love for others in times of suffering (I Pet. 4:8). This is a high priority (pro panton). Self-giving prevents those sins to which one is especially vulnerable when afflicted (bitterness, jealousy, anger, self-pity, etc.). 5. The Christian should demonstrate hospitality in times of suffering (I Pet. 4:9). This is one of the evidences of love at work. A willingness to help others while I am hurting is an indication that I am courageously 22
enduring. Personal suffering should not become the occasion for an unhealthy preoccupation with myself, but rather I should become more sensitive to the needs of others. 6. The Christian s spiritual gifts should continue to benefit the body of Christ (I Pet. 4:10.11). Whether one s gifts fall into the category of speaking or serving, they should flourish in the hot house of affliction. It is highly rewarding to relate the gifts of the Spirit to the context of suffering (e.g., mercy how can I provide assistance? faith let s trust God to work in a special way). 7. The Christian should rejoice in a time of suffering (I Pet. 4:12-13). Suffering should not be something alien to the Christian life ( do not be surprised ). It is not an intruder and is not by accident. To the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing (present active imperative). James says consider it all joy when you encounter various trials (James 1:2). What does it mean to be joyful in suffering? It certainly is not trying to make an emotional high out of the situation. Genuine joy must have biblical content to it, otherwise it may be nothing more than emotional sublimation, i.e., simply trying to change what is undesirable into what is acceptable to others. One may try to be happy in order to cover up misery (Prov. 14:13). But joy is not synonymous with laughter. It is first of all an attitude (Prov. 15:13). It is a state of mind with associated emotional patterns. More specifically, it is a satisfied delight in God and His goodness. Therefore, when one rejoices in suffering, he is pleased with what God is doing in his life. I can hurt and be sorrowful and still be joyful all at the same time. Only sin disturbs this harmony. 8. The Christian should identify the reason for his suffering (I Pet. 4:15-16). He must engage in some serious reflection in order to determine possible reasons. Am I suffering because of unconfessed sin in my life? Am I suffering because I have violated a law of man or God (e.g., the rights of another person, laziness, abuse of the body, etc.). Do I have any habits which dishonor the Lord? Have I prepared myself for affliction? These kinds of questions have to be considered if God is to be glorified. 9. The Christian must glorify God in his suffering (I Pet. 4:16). God is glorified when His perfect character is exalted and recognized by others. Suffering is designed to provide occasion for manifesting God s love and righteousness. The fact that I don t complain, but exercise patience says something about the work of God in my life. The suffering saint must learn to respond immediately to adversity by asking himself, How can God be glorified in this? 10. The Christian should commit his soul to God in a time of suffering (I Pet. 4:19). Let those who suffer according to the will of God entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right. The verb 23
entrust (paratithemi) is a banking term and indicates an act of depositing for safe keeping. This is done when the believer turns his trials over to God, trusting Him to do what is right and allowing God to bring spiritual dividends in his life. God as Creator is ultimately responsible for the effective operation of His creation by ruling and overruling. It is God s desire to cause adversity to be good to those who love God (Rom. 8:28). 11. The Christian should seek out the feeding ministry of a local church in preparation for adjustment to suffering (I Pet. 5:1-3). God has designed the church to build up the child of God. It is the responsibility of the elder (pastor-bishop) to care for the flock entrusted to him. Both privately and publicly he is to eagerly prepare them for affliction by teaching and example. Christians must know in advance the why and how of suffering (I Thess. 3:2-4), for when it comes they will be able to orient themselves to it and not forfeit its advantages. One final word is in order. If a Christian knows how to handle suffering, he can establish a problem-solving environment. The reasons for his predicament can be put into perspective. The willingness to see God s purposes worked out in one s life makes it possible to turn adversity into spiritual advantage. As that Christian teenager looks into my face and describes the difficulties of trying to live in a home with a surly, insensitive father and a frustrated, nervous mother plus the pressures of growing up, I can and must point out that the answer lies not in breaking ranks and running, but in facing the flaming missiles of adversity. This is done by explaining how one is to use the shield of faith and the sword of the Spirit (Eph. 6:11-17). Only this approach will enable the Christian to assess properly his afflictions and to understand their significance. Otherwise, one may engage in continuous counseling, provide some immediate help, but in the process may allow a hurting counselee to continue thinking that the final solution is getting out from under the suffering. Biblical counseling does not ignore suffering and sing a song to a troubled heart (Prov. 25:20), but comes to grips with it in the context of God s Word. 24