The Messenger Congregation Shalom Bayit JANUARY 2019 Tevet Shevat 5779 congregationshalombayit.com President Cathy Colt 951-392-5380 cathycolt@verizon.net Treasurer & Newsletter Steve Benoff 310-413-4896 steve.benoff@verizon.net Recycling Leon & Nancy Darling 951-769-6815 ndarling7147@gmail.com Vice President Marty Hoffman 951-769-3830 martyhof@hotmail.com Religious Practices Carol Sherman 951-769-7514 carollois21@gmail.com Sunshine & Tribute Cards Nadine Greenberg 716-289-2192 & Sandy Zwick Member At Large Judi Margolis 951-769-2953 ljay58@aol.com Fundraising Joan Frost 951-845-9757 mjfrost9@verizon.net Membership Kay Ross 951-845-3070 kaysunlakes@gmail.com Secretary Leslie Diamond 909-553-9544 Jayles2@verizon.net Sisterhood Carol Sherman 951-769-7514 carollois21@gmail.com Rabbi Kenneth Milhander 714-392-2201 roshpina@sbcglobal.net Havdalah January 5 Potluck 5:30 pm Please call Carol at 951-769-7514 to let her know Which dish you will bring. This Havdalah is sponsored by Cathy Colt & Jeff Silver. Oneg January 18 is sponsored by Leslie & Jay Diamond.
President s Message Happy New Year to everyone. Hope your holidays were peaceful and what you wanted them to be. Occasionally we expand our expectations to the point where nothing could satisfy them and that can be a recipe for unhappiness. We had a great Chanukkah Havdalah in December including a full house of attendees and some very creative and fun songs by the rabbi. That said, I feel I must comment on the low number of people who came to services in November, and that that seems to be the standard now. Why? I am hoping someone, anyone, will come forth with suggestions on how we can boost our attendance. Even if you want to remain anonymous, please give us some feedback. I can t guarantee we will be able to carry out all suggestions, but I do guarantee we will listen to you and consider them. A number of members have expressed concern about the retirement of Pastor Paul and how that might affect Congregation Shalom Bayit. Our Savior s Lutheran church has been a steadfast friend to Shalom Bayit, and I don t see that changing in the future. The church and its master synod have a very specific process for replacing a retiring pastor, but it takes quite a long time possibly 1 ½ to 2 years. Their first change will be to welcome an interim pastor who will preside until the permanent pastor is hired. The interim pastor is expected to arrive just after the first of the year. After that, the church will conduct its own small committee meetings to articulate what the congregants want to see in their next leader. Eventually the synod will send several pastors for interviews and sample services. From those, the church will choose their permanent pastor. I strongly believe we will not see any change in our reception by the congregants or their new pastor and look forward to meeting and working with that person in a constructive way. Well, in the words of a movie I was never really fond of help me help you. Let me know how we can do a better job of getting our members to services and more active in the temple. We re the only game in town for Jewish life; let s not risk it disappearing for lack of engagement by our members and potential members. Shalom, Cathy Colt President Page 2
From the Rabbi January 2019 Shalom Chaverim, Last month, controversy raged across the country. What were people so angry and upset about? A few radio stations decided to remove a song from their 24-hour Christmas music playlist. In the #MeToo era where sexual harassment and assault are no longer tolerated the song was viewed as unacceptable by some. The overwhelming reaction on social media was swift and unwavering: Don t mess with my Christmas! Ironically, the radio stations which made the decision not to play the song did not want any publicity, but when local media got wind of the story, not only did the backlash begin but the song gained even more popularity. To be sure, if you read the lyrics of Baby, it s cold outside they are (or at the very least, certainly should be) totally cringe-worthy and unacceptable in the context of today s society. Now I totally understand that change is hard. As I get older, I am more and more reticent to change anything. There is comfort and familiarity with things I know and as things change, I feel as though I lose more and more control over my life. This is especially true with respect to religion. With all the other changes in the world and in our society, people want some things to remain the same. And because religion is rooted in history and tradition, change in religious ritual or belief is even more difficult to accept. With respect to Jews and Judaism, however, our ability to change and adapt over the centuries not only allowed but enabled us to survive to this very day. After the destruction of the Jerusalem Temple, our ancestors were at a crossroads. How to continue a faith based on the priesthood and sacrifice without a centralized place of worship? As Jews were dispersed all over the globe throughout the centuries, how were we able to continue as a people? Given the tragedy of the Holocaust and miracle of the re-birth of the State of Israel in the last century, many things changed for our people, both for the good and for the bad. Because we were for the most part subject to the will of others throughout our history the king, the Czar, or the Church we had to find ways to change and adapt if we were going to survive. The majority culture, of course, does not have that same history or reality. The majority culture has the luxury of saying Don t mess with my Christmas! with respect to a song which speaks of sexual harassment and assault. Judaism has never had that luxury and neither have those of other minority religions, races, cultures, women, or the LGBTQ community. Yes, change is difficult, but sometimes change is necessary if we are going to create a more perfect Union or truly live up to the rights provided to all citizens in the Constitution and Bill of Rights. As we all know, Judaism has changed a lot over the centuries. If Moses or Rabbi Hillel were to come visit us today, they would not recognize many of our rituals, practices, and beliefs. To me, that is the beauty and uniqueness of Judaism that we take the past and reinterpret it through a modern lens, we take our ancient words and make them new again, we stand upon the shoulders of those who came before us, we are not handcuffed by the past but build upon it, and where and when change is necessary, we are not adverse to it. Now because so many things in Judaism have changed over the centuries, there are many rituals, practices, and beliefs with which we are no longer familiar. My Havdalah program this month will feature Jewish rituals, practices, and beliefs you probably never heard of. I hope to see you on Saturday, January 5th for this interesting presentation and of course on January 18th for our Shabbat service. Lech L shalom May you go in peace, Rabbi Kenneth Milhander Page 3
Sisterhood News Sisterhood board: Carol Sherman, Pres; Nadine Greenberg, VP; Martha Benoff, Secretary; and Joan Frost, Treas. Kay Ross & Martha Benoff are co-chairing "Programming." We meet on the Tuesday which follows our Sabbath Services, unless otherwise announced. Most of our meetings are in the Atrium Dining Room at Sun Lakes and you will be notified of any changes. The time of the meeting is 11:30 a.m. Death of Ilona Karmel, literary chronicler of the Holocaust November 30, 2000 When Ilona Karmel died on November 30, 2000, she was remembered as the author of the novel, An Estate of Memory. It is considered one of the most significant novels in English to address the experiences of Jewish women during World War II. Born in Cracow in 1925, Karmel was interned along with her mother and sister in three different labor camps after the Nazi occupation of Poland. She sustained severe leg injuries during the war and required years of recuperation before immigrating to the United States in 1948. Within four years of arriving in the United States, Karmel graduated from Radcliffe College, won a fiction-writing contest sponsored by Mademoiselle magazine, and completed her first novel, Stephania. Stephania focused on the physical and spiritual recovery of a young woman who had survived the Nazi concentration camps. In 1969, Karmel published An Estate of Memory. Reviewed on the front page of the New York Times Book Review, it was one of the earliest significant literary treatments of Jewish experience in the Nazi camps and remains one of the most significant novels to address Jewish women s experiences during the Holocaust. It was reissued by the Feminist Press in 1986. Karmel taught creative writing at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology for many years where an annual writing prize that she established has been renamed in her honor. Source: Jewish Women in America: An Historical Encyclopedia, pp. 723-724. Page 4
James Darling Elsie Friedman Harry Brandt Mollie Berger Roth Ruth Roth Samuel Berman Bernard Sherman Fred Shulkin Sandy Hoffman Leslie Diamond David Greenberg Jeff Sliver Marty Hoffman Joan Frost Yahrzeits Father of Mother of Father of Mother of Step-mother of Uncle of Husband of Husband Birthdays Leon Darling Marvin Friedman Adele Kiefer Fran Rayner Fran Rayner Hannah Riceberg Carol Sherman Sandra Shulkin January 12 January 14 January 16 January 18 January 24 January 27 Anniversaries Marvin & Roz Friedman January 12 Yahrzeit Donations Kay Ross in memory of her mother Marion Kaner Kay Ross in memory of her husband Joel Frank Kay Ross in memory of her husband William M. Ross Diane Stone in memory of her grandson Jarrod Autterson Emmy Bell in memory of her grandfather Mitchell Alexander Emmy Bell in memory of her step-father Bernie Cohen Sandra Shulkin in memory of her mother-in-law Dora Shulkin Sandra Shulkin in memory of her husband Fred Shulkin Jay & Leslie Diamond in memory of Jay s mother Lee Diamond TREE OF LIFE order a leaf as a memorial or an honor. $18 for members. $25 for non-members. Please contact Cathy Colt. Please note the purpose of your donations on your checks to the temple. Tribute Donations Shalom Bayit offers all of us the ability to memorialize or honor friends and loved ones. Tribute donations can be made in honor of a bar/bat mitzvah, the birth of a baby, a birthday, an anniversary, a graduation, a wedding, or any special occasion. Donations in memory of loved ones help us remember that person in a special and meaningful way. Also, tribute donations are a thoughtful way to say thank you. Your donation should be sent to the address on the back of the Messenger to the attention of Treasurer and will be acknowledged with a card to the recipient of this tribute. It will also be listed in the Messenger, unless you request otherwise. Page 5
Havdalah and Oneg Sponsors Havdalah We need sponsors for April, June, and the rest of the year. Sign up sheets are at every service. Oneg We need sponsors for June and the rest of the year. Sign up sheets are at every service. Celebrate a Birthday, Anniversary, or other special occasion. Remember someone who is gone -- honor them by sponsoring an Oneg or Havdalah. Sign up at a service or Call Carol at 951-769-7514. IF YOU KNOW OF ANYONE IN OUR CONGREGATION WHO IS ILL OR IN NEED OF SYMPATHY OR ENCOURAGEMENT, PLEASE CALL OR EMAIL NADINE GREENBERG (716-289-2192, nygreenberg@gmail.com) SO A CARD CAN BE SENT. RECYCLING. Please bring your separated cans and plastic bottles (no glass please) to temple events. You can also write a check in lieu of your recycling. Call Nancy or Leon Darling (951-769-6815) for recycling information. BOARD MEETINGS are open to all temple members. You are encouraged to attend. The more participation the better. January 2019 SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY 1 2 3 4 5:30 1:30 Board Mtg. Havdalah (Potluck) 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 5 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 7 :00 - Shabbat 23 24 25 26 11:30 Sisterhood 27 28 29 30 31 2 Page 6
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