SESSION 5 STOP JUDGING, LOOK WITH COMPASSION BEAT 5: THE WAY OF COMPASSION Lifewords 2018 79
BEFORE THE SESSION TASKS: Send encouragement and reminders to participants Decide who will lead various session activities Print session 5 hand out (Or remind participants to bring their Ninefold Path Notebook) Set up space Gather supplies LEVEL UP. If you have the time and you re meeting somewhere that allows for this, you might want to plan to go out and do the Eyes of Compassion experiment together as part of the group exercise. SUPPLIES: Ninefold Path Notebooks or Session 5 Hand Outs Nine Beats to the Bar album (recommended tracks: What Can Love Create? Kosi, Song For the Earth) Television or video projector (if you plan on showing slides and video) Name tags (optional) Light refreshments (optional) FACILITATOR ROLES: TIME: ACTIVITY FACILITATOR : Hospitality & room set up : Pre session team meeting : Welcome and gathering prayer : Practice check-in : Beat 5 invitation : Group exercise: Eyes of compassion : Introduction to the Lab practices/commitment : Closing mantra : Team evaluation : Follow up note to participants : Next session planning and communication Lifewords 2018 80
Hand Out LAB PRACTICES THE NINEFOLD PATH SESSION 5: THE WAY OF COMPASSION STOP JUDGING LOOK WITH COMPASSION Journal: Let go. Forgiveness is a process that may take some time, but is worth the effort. Use these questions to help you step into the way of compassion, and journal your responses: What are the mistakes and limitations you struggle to forgive yourself for? What would you tell a friend who was feeling this way about themselves? Who do you struggle to forgive? What limitations might have lead them to treat you this way? What resentment do you carry? How has holding on to this shaped you, and are you ready to let it go? When during the coming week are you going to reflect on your process of forgiving others and yourself? Put it on your calendar. Daily habit: Positive speech. How we talk reveals a lot about how we see ourselves and others, and spoken thoughts often reinforce attitudes of contempt and judgement. Make a daily commitment to only speak and write words of compassion and affirmation about yourself and others, avoiding critical and disparaging comments. Who do you live and work with that you can tell about this commitment to keep you accountable? What will be your daily reminder? Experiment: Eyes of compassion. At every moment, we make decisions about how we perceive others, and then act on those thoughts and feelings. You can look through eyes of jealousy, contempt, resentment, lust, judgement, or mercy it s your choice. This week, go on an hour-long walk, somewhere you can be in a crowd and watch people pass by. Intentionally try to make eye contact with each person you encounter. Pay attention to how you look at people, noticing the thoughts and feelings that rise to the surface. Make a choice to suspend evaluation. Receive people as they are. Silently whisper the prayer: Beloved child of God, may you be well. When and where will you go to practice an hour of compassionate seeing this week? Put it on your calendar. Lifewords 2018 81
FACILITATOR: GATHERING PRAYER (2 minutes) Gather everyone and invite the group to move through the ninefold path prayer postures. Have someone read each beatitude and then have the group respond by saying, Lead us in the way of while adopting the appropriate posture. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for justice, for they will be satisfied. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Lead us in the way of TRUST (Open hands) Lead us in the way of LAMENT (Head in hands) Lead us in the way of HUMILITY (Bow with hand on heart) Lead us in the way of JUSTICE (clinched fists crossed) Lead us in the way of COMPASSION (Make heart with hands) Lead us in the way of RIGHT MOTIVE (Jazz hands) Lead us in the way of PEACEMAKING (Reach out to embrace, clasp hands) Lead us in the way of SURRENDER (hands lowered and crossed) Lead us in the way of RADICAL LOVE (Extend arms in posture of crucifixion) Lifewords 2018 82
FACILITATOR: PRACTICE CHECK-IN (25 minutes) Divide into groups of three and have each person spend 5-7 minutes responding to the following questions about the practices from the last session. (It can be helpful to set a timer). If you didn t all follow through on one of the practices you committed to, spend some time reflecting with your group on the internal resistance or external obstacles that you encountered. If viewed properly our struggles and failure can be tools for learning and growth. Journal: Power to do good. Share a few of your I want to live in a world where statements. What excited or surprised you about this exercise? Daily habit: Make one change. What small change did you make in your daily habits to live justly? If you invited someone to take this step with you, what was the impact of doing this with another person? Experiment: Stand in solidarity. What did you do to stand in solidarity with those who suffer and struggle? How did your conscious attention to justice transform your attitudes and interactions this week? Lifewords 2018 83
FACILITATOR: BEAT 5 INVITATION: The Way of Compassion (10 minutes) Read the following or show the Beat 5 video invitation from the slides. Jesus said, Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Most of us live with a sense that something inside us is broken. We don t always treat other people the way we want to be treated, and people don t always treat us with the love and respect we feel we deserve. Our sense of what is right and wrong is offended. How we handle these mistakes and failures really matters. We are faced with a choice. Allow our failures to define us and others, live with self-loathing, shame, and resentment; or let go of the desire to punish and take revenge. This beat invites us to give up our judging and contempt, to look at ourselves and each other through eyes of kindness and compassion. Mercy dares us to believe that the truest thing about us is not that we are broken or flawed, but that we are beloved. Being merciful takes strength and courage and opens us to the possibility that we, and others, can grow and change. For what in your life do you need mercy? (pause to allow each person an opportunity to share) Who is in need of your forgiveness? (pause to allow each person an opportunity to share) The promise of this beatitude is that as we learn to see others through eyes of compassion, we will experience the love and unconditional acceptance we so deeply long for. Reality is that we are deeply loved. Mercy triumphs over judgement, promising us kindness that goes beyond the consequences of our actions, or the retribution we might feel others deserve. Right now, make the shape of a heart with your hands. Picture looking through the heart at a person you struggle to forgive, remembering that the person you re seeing is beloved. Imagine yourself being looked at in the same way, through that lens of kindness and love. How does it feel to be seen with such compassion? Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. So today we stop judging. We remember we are beloved and we look with love, following the way of compassion. Lifewords 2018 84
FACILITATOR: Further Wisdom about the Way of Compassion (Optional) If it s helpful for your group, have someone read these texts aloud. Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. (Luke 6:37) Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. (Luke 11:4) The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. (Matthew 6:22) "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. (Matthew 7:1-5) Stories from the life of Jesus that illustrate the Way of Compassion: Jesus and the woman caught in adultery. (John 8:1-11) Jesus looks with eyes of compassion: Jesus looked at him and loved him. (Mark 10:27) When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her. (Luke 7:13) When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them. (Matthew 9:36) Lifewords 2018 85
FACILITATOR: GROUP EXERCISE: Eyes of compassion (20 minutes) A politician s name comes up in conversation and you feel contempt. Or someone walks into the room and certain thoughts and feelings rise to the surface. You pass someone on the street and immediately start to evaluate. If you are like most people your first instinct is to label and judge: fat, skinny, ugly, attractive, smart, dumb, rich, poor, safe, dangerous, like me or not like me. With practice, most of us have become very good at judging, which involves how we see, what we think and also what we say about others and ourselves. Jesus invites us to see ourselves and others in a whole new way. "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. (Jesus) TURN AND TALK Take a few moments to consider the thoughts that pop into your head, and the judgements you tend to make about yourself and others. Turn to the person next to you and spend two minutes responding to the following questions: How do you tend to measure and judge others? How do you tend to measure and judge yourself? Gather the group back together and invite groups to feed back. The way of compassion invites us to see ourselves and others as we truly are, without making judgements or having contempt (the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn). At every moment we make decisions about how we perceive others and then we act on those thoughts and feelings. So loving action starts with cultivating a compassionate attitude. Those who wrote about Jesus life made special note of how he looked at people: Jesus looked at him and loved him, When the Lord saw her, his heart went out to her, When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them. Jesus taught that the The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. How you see has a huge impact on how you experience life and interact with others. You can look through eyes of jealousy, contempt, resentment, lust, judgement or mercy it s your choice. Love begins with learning to see the world, ourselves and others through eyes of compassion. When you look in the mirror, or at another person, what do you see? Lifewords 2018 86
Practice paying attention to how you see others. As a group stand up right now. Make the shape of a heart with your hand and look directly into the eyes of another person, Make and hold eye contact. Keep looking. Silently whisper this prayerful intention, Beloved child of God, may you be well. Continue looking at the other person, and silently consider these questions How does looking with eyes of compassion change the way I see this person? How does it feel to be looked at and seen in such a conscious and compassionate way? Repeat the exercise two or three times. Have people move round and choose a new person to make eye contact with. FACILITATOR: INTRODUCING THE LAB PRACTICES: (8 minutes) In this session we ve explored steps we can take to see others with compassion. Reality is that each of us is deeply loved, and mercy triumphs over any judgement we have of ourselves or others. I m inviting you to take on three practices this week that will help you deepen your experience of the way of Compassion. Journal: Let go. Forgiveness is a process that may take some time, but is worth the effort. Use these questions to help you step into the way of compassion, and journal your responses: What are the mistakes and limitations you struggle to forgive yourself for? What would you tell a friend who was feeling this way about themselves? Who do you struggle to forgive? What limitations might have lead them to treat you this way? What resentment do you carry? How has holding on to this shaped you and are you ready to let it go? Daily habit: Positive speech. How we talk reveals a lot about how we see ourselves and others, and spoken thoughts often reinforce attitudes of contempt and judgement. Make this formal commitment to only practice positive speech and share this decision with the people you live and work with: I promise to practice positive speech. For the next seven days I will only speak and write words of compassion and affirmation about myself and others and avoid making critical and disparaging comments. Experiment: Eyes of compassion. If we tend to judge ourselves and others, it s a habit that we ve learnt by practising it over time. We can change this habit through practice, and learn to see through eyes of mercy and compassion instead. This week, go on an hour-long walk, somewhere you can be in a crowd and watch people pass by or make a commitment to practice this each day on your commute on public transport. Try to make eye contact with each person you encounter. Pay attention to how you look at people, noticing the thoughts and feelings that rise to the surface. Make a choice to suspend evaluation. Receive people as they are. Silently whisper the prayer: Beloved child of God, may you be well. Lifewords 2018 87
PRACTICE COMMITMENT (8 minutes) FACILITATOR: We re now five weeks into the learning lab. Finding time each week to do the practices can be hard work, but it s worth it! Reflect on what s worked for you so far about when and where you ve done the practices, and what s helped you stick to them. Is there anything else the group can do to help you succeed with the practices? Take a few minutes to check in with each other about what you ve noticed so far. Journal: Let go. When during the coming week are you going to reflect on your process of forgiving yourself and others? Put it on your calendar. Daily habit: Positive speech. As a group, write out and sign your commitment to positive speech. Who do you live and work with that you can tell about this commitment to keep you accountable? Elect someone from your group to message everyone once a day to help you all remember your commitment. Experiment: Eyes of compassion. When and where will you go to practice an hour of compassionate seeing this week? Put it on your calendar. FACILITATOR: CLOSE: Ninefold Path mantra The way of Compassion is a step on the ninefold path. We are deeply beloved and accepted and can reflect this reality to one another. Read this expression of intentions together, assuming the posture of each beatitude as you speak it. Today I want to: Live with open hands Mourn what s broken Serve with self respect Use my power for good Look with compassion Walk in honesty Reach past difference Suffer for love and live fearlessly following the way of radical love Lifewords 2018 88
POST SESSION FOLLOW UP TEAM EVALUATION (5 minutes) FACILITATOR: What went well and what did we each do well? Where did the group have the most energy? When did the group struggle? What can we do differently to make the next session stronger? Hello, FACILITATOR: SEND A FOLLOW UP MESSAGE TO PARTICIPANTS. On the day after this session, send an email or message to each participant reminding them of the three practices. You may want to send additional encouragements and reminders via text messages throughout the week. In this session we explored the tendency we have to judge others and ourselves. Reality is that we are deeply loved. Mercy triumphs over judgement, promising us kindness that goes beyond the consequences of our actions, or the retribution we might feel others deserve. We each committed to doing three practices before our next session. Journal: Let go. Reflect on potential next steps to forgive others and yourself, and take a step to forgive. Daily habit: Positive speech. For the next seven days I will only speak and write words of compassion and affirmation about myself and others and avoid making critical and disparaging comments. Experiment: Eyes of compassion. Go on an hour-long walk or practice compassionate seeing on your daily commute. Silently whisper the prayer: beloved child of God, may you be well. Setting aside the time to do these practices is essential to this learning journey, so we encourage you to calendar when you are going to do each one and set up reminders. Forgiving someone and letting go of resentments is sometimes a long and messy process. If this session has brought up questions for you, take time to talk to a friend or someone you trust from our group. All the best! Lifewords 2018 89
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