HOW I LIVE 14. THE NEW WAY OF LIVING: Children, Parents and Workers Ephesians 6:1-9 The New Testament opens with the four Gospels; four News Accounts! Matthew, Mark, Luke and John are the written proclamation of something that happened. They tell us about the virgin birth, sinless life, sacrificial death and bodily resurrection of Jesus. The Gospels are followed by a selective history of early church which is followed by 21 letters, called epistles. They were written by specific authors to specific readers for a specific reason(s). Each of them are an explanation of the proclamation of the Gospels. Paul begin this letter by explaining everything God accomplished for us in with through and by Jesus. Woven into that stunning theology is the theme of identity WHO WE ARE! After establishing WHO WE ARE in Jesus Paul began the second great theme of his letter: There is a new way of living attached to our new identity HOW WE LIVE for Jesus in a world living without Him. Tonight, we come to the end of that theme where Paul describes what this new way of living looks like in the reciprocal relationships between children and parents, and between slaves and masters (employees and employers). Ephesians 6:1-9 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. 5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, 6 not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, 7 rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, 8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free. 9 Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him. By inspiration of the Holy Spirit Paul moves from the home to society outside the home; from family to factory (if-you-would). This is super important to the advance of the Gospel because in the economy of God society holds together from the home outward. 1
QUOTE: James Gillis The salvation of society is in the family.the family is the nucleus of all society. You can have no prosperous state unless the family is healthy. You can have no effective church unless the family is sound... The family is the organic cell from which all human societies are constructed. 1 In my preparation I came across a pastor who referenced an article in the Journal of Education. The article told of a school teacher who handed in her resignation with the following comment. "In our public schools today the teachers are afraid of the principals, the principals are afraid of the superintendents, the superintendents are afraid of the board members, the board members are afraid of the parents, the parents are afraid of the children and the children are afraid of nobody." I love to observe people when Valerie and I are out and about, especially when we re travelling. One thing I ve observed is that in our culture today there are a lot of parents who obey their children. Ephesians 6:1 Children, Anyone ever find it interesting that Paul actually addresses children in this letter? Ephesians sure does feel like a letter written to grown-ups! Guys Scripture does break the world into three categories: believers, unbelievers and children. We have children s church because children are as much the recipients of the promises of God as adults. The way we live our motive for obedience is our response to grace! Paul is going to instruct the children how Gospel living looks for them. PARENTS This command is not all about you! Here s what I mean For parents obedience is synonymous with staying out of trouble in other words, we love this command because it makes our life easier! But this command is for them. QUOTE: Handbook on Ephesians as believers you should obey your parents or as followers of the Lord you should obey your parents or because you belong to the Lord you should obey your parents 2 1 James M. Gillis, The Ten Commandments (New York: The Paulist Press, 1931), p. 49. 2 Bratcher, R. G., & Nida, E. A. (1993). A handbook on Paul s letter to the Ephesians (p. 150). New York: United Bible Societies. 2
As believers, children obey their parents because it s the expression of the new life they have in Jesus. WHO THEY ARE determines HOW THEY LIVE. Ephesians 6:1-9 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Paul s immediately ties the command Children, obey your parents to the 5 th commandment (Exodus 20:12). So we ll get back to obedience in a bit. 2 Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. FIRST It s right because honor gives reason for obedience. Let s walk around in this for a bit. The Ten Commandments are absolutes they re true for everybody at all times. Every relationship, society as a whole, our lives, are to be built on them. The 5 th commandment doesn t say, Love your parents in the sense of feeling affection for them. That s because God knows that some parents are evil. The 5 th commandment doesn t say, Trust your father and mother because God knows that some parents are unstable (psychologically unstable, unstable because of substance abuse, pathological liars). The 5 th commandment doesn t say, Admire your father and mother because God knows that in some parents there is nothing to admire. The 5 th commandment doesn t say, Obey your father and mother as an absolute rule, because your relationship with your parents changes. There comes a time when have to get out from underneath your parents authority. As we saw in Paul s description of marriage, the married couple leaves their father and mother and they cleave to one another. Marriage doesn t end the relationship between a married person and their parents it changes the relationship. The adult child doesn t owe their parent obedience, but they do owe their parent honor. That tells us that Paul is talking about children living in the home! The 5 th commandment God says Honor your father and mother. Honor isn t the mushy sentiment on a Hallmark card. Here s how one guy framed it: 3
Honor is the unsentimental moral nucleus for your relationship with your parents. Honor is a decision to treat your parents with dignity. The word used here for honor literally means to place value on something, to attribute status. To honor is to esteem and value. How much are your parents worth? Before you jump to answer that question, you need to ask, How much are they worth to God? That is how much you honor them. Here s something we need to see This honor isn t rooted in the fact of biology. It isn t, I honor my father and mother because they re my own flesh and blood. Here s why I say that Christianity has adoption at it s very core! Some of our most heart shaping, worship evoking moments in our study of Ephesians took place as we looked at everything Paul wrote about the adopting love of God. God loves us the way He loves Jesus. This honor isn t based in the fact that parents are wiser than children, because that s not always the case! For sure, parents are wiser than their children when their children are really young. But some parents are so unwise that their kids pass them up at the age of 5! This honor is not based in genetics or pragmatics. Sandwiched between the command for children to obey and the restating of the 5 th commandment to honor their parents, Paul says for this is right. There is a moral order in the universe. Therefore, honor is a moral choice HERE S THE DEAL Obedience is the application of honor. The command, Children obey your parents, is based on a command to all children, at all times in all cultures Honor your father and mother. As the adopted children of God, our obedience should never be a matter of external conformity to God s commands. Our obedience is to be rooted in our desire to honor God who is creator and redeemer. In the same way, Paul is saying that the child who knows Jesus shouldn t confuse external conformity to the demand of their parent with obedience from a willing heart. God doesn t want children to settle for obedience. A child can grudgingly obey without honoring. I m getting just a little ahead of myself but it needs to be said here: Our children don t come out of the womb knowing what true obedience is what it looks like. They need to be taught that true obedience always begins with the heart it s a willing submission of my heart to God s authority in my life and the authorities He has placed in my life. The Jews divided the commandments in 4
two sets of five, seeing the law to honor your father and mother more as a duty towards God than a duty towards man. THAT BRINGS US TO the command: Children, obey your parents What does "obey" mean? The word comes from a compound Greek word: The prefix means under and suffix means hear. Literally it means to come under the hearing of another. It means listening and learning, then doing. It s no mistake that Paul has something to say to parents in verse 4. This is the reciprocal nature of the parent-child relationship. The children have the responsibility to obey, but parents have responsibilities 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, By the way the Gospel absolutely revolutionized family behavior! In the culture of the 1 st century Roman Empire the father s authority was absolute. But the Gospel introduced a New Way of Living! By inspiration of the Holy Spirit Paul tells us that the feelings of our child should be taken into consideration in the way we exercise authority. More on this in a bit. but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. bring them up This is the same verb used back in Ephesians 5:29 where Paul tells us that Jesus nourishes the church. PARENTS especially dads, are to supply their children with what they need to grow up that s what Christian parent do. bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord discipline to train. It means to hold someone accountable. It means to hold their feet to the fire. It means, when necessary, to punish. instruction of the Lord The whole purpose of parental authority in the family is not to get your children to obey so you can have a happy home it s to teach your children with your life and with your words the truth about God. Bottom line everything foolish and flawed in our children is at its core deeply theological. 5
So, with our lives and with our words we teach our children the truth about God: That He is that He is holy and loving, merciful and gracious. We re to tell them the story of the person and work of Jesus over and over and over again. All to the end that child grows up and can make decisions for himself or for herself in light of the Gospel. QUOTE: Jonathan Edwards (on his deathbed to his daughter Lucy) I want you to tell your other brothers and sisters it is about time they look to a Father who does not die. The word instruction is a wonderful word. It s the word which actually means to counsel. Parents are to impart to their children the counsel, the wisdom of God. That means the parent has to be operating from an existing relationship to the Word of God. Their counsel is informed by the counsel they have received from the Lord. QUESTION Are you being instructed by the Lord? Is the Word of God your final authority? Can your children see the Word of God instructing you? Can they see in you do my children see in me how beautiful, protective, practical, helpful, and good God s wisdom really is? Do they see us humbly acknowledge the times we have chosen to live outside of God s wisdom and humbly receive correction from God and grace from God? Do they see in us a how beautiful and good God s authority actually is? QUOTE: Edith Schaeffer in her book, What Is A Family? "...A family is a perpetual relay of truth...it is a place where principles are hammered and honed on the anvil of everyday living...where character traits are sculptured under the watchful eyes of moms and dads...where steel-strong fibers are woven into the fabric of inner constitutions." Back up to the beginning of verse 4 If you want to provoke your children to anger make your parenting all about discipline without instruction. Make it about you and not about God. By the way you can fail in raising your children if you re instructing your children but you never discipline them. The trend in contemporary culture is for parents to constantly reason with their children but never discipline them. That s not a good choice It s not a good choice to smack Billy over the head with your Tonka Truck You need to make good choices, But they never 6
discipline the child for making the bad choice once. You can over-discipline or you can under-discipline. A Christian is someone who has had their life made new from the inside out. That new life changes the way they live in the world wherever they live, whatever they re doing. A Christian might have the same job as an unbeliever but they don t do their job like the unbeliever. Paul s been unpacking that from chapter 4 forward from the general to the specific. Paul moves into an area of life that dominates the vast majority of every-day living WORK! 5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, 6 not by the way of eye-service, as peoplepleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, 7 rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, 8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free. 9 Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him. 5 Slaves He s talking to slaves who had become Christians and he wanted them to know how they should live their lives. He s immediate. He s practical. He s dealing with how they are going to process life in light of their relationship with God. We have to remember that. Because Paul says nothing to condemn slavery is he endorsing or condoning it? There have been two kinds of enemies of the Gospel who have really misused this passage. The first kind were professing Christians. If you want to go back in the 1850s and 1860s, you will find in the United States church members and clergymen, especially in the South, justifying the institution of slavery on the basis of this passage. The other kind of enemy of the Gospel is the person who says There are a lot of good things in the Bible, but there are things in the Bible that are really bad therefore it s an unworthy, unreliable text that must be rejected. HERE S THE DEAL The Bible will not even talk to you about most issues until you decide what you think about Jesus. There s a sense in which the New Testament writers say, We re going to answer those questions. First, what do you think of Jesus? It s ridiculous for someone to say, I don t know if Jesus is God, but I want to know what the Bible and Christianity says about slavery because if Jesus isn t God, who cares what the Bible says about slavery or about gender and 7
sexuality or about anything for that matter? If Jesus isn t God, who cares what anybody thinks? It s just all matter of opinion. A history professor who did his doctoral dissertation on abolitionism in the States said You know, a historian doesn t think the way normal people do. A historian doesn t look at the abolition of slavery and say, Why did people put up with it that long? The historian asks the question, Since everybody everywhere did it, as far back as human beings can ever remember, if throughout history the strong enslave the week and the conquerors enslave the conquered why did it ever get into anybody s mind that it was wrong? People in America and England got the idea that it was wrong from the Bible. In Britain William Wilberforce led a life-long battle to get slavery abolished in the British Empire. Why? Not because he found a verse prohibiting slavery in the Bible. He deduced it from broad teaching of the Bible from the Ten Commandments from Love your neighbor as yourself. He deduced that we don t have the right to own people, to sell people, to kill people; that we should treat every human being with dignity because every human being is created in the image of God. The first thing Paul is going to say to slaves isn t, Well, let s debate whether or not it s right or wrong for you to leave, whether we should start an abolitionist movement. That s not the first thing he says. The first thing he says is, Tomorrow, if you re filled with the Spirit, how s that going to affect the way in which you deal with your master? Bishop Moule The Gospel found slavery in the world; and in many regions, particularly the Roman and the Greek, it was a very bad form of slavery. The Gospel began at once to undermine it, with its mighty principles of the equality of all souls in the mystery and dignity of manhood, and of the equal work of redeeming love wrought for all souls by the supreme Master. But its plan was not to batter, but to undermine. So while the Gospel in one respect left slavery alone, it doomed it in another. There are two false views we don t want to miss as we walk through this: 1. work is a curse 2. leisure is the meaning of life. You see If God is out of the picture, either leisure is the meaning of life or work is the meaning of life. 5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, 8
The words as to Christ change our entire perspective as workers. It reminds us that our work can and should be done as if we were working for Jesus because we are! In Greek culture manual work was despised and the goal of being successful was getting to the point where you never had to do any work. This isn t how it is in God s kingdom, where hard work and manual labor are honorable. We are not to work with eyeservice (working only when the boss is looking) or as men-pleasers (those who only care about pleasing man), but as servants of Christ, Whatever we do we are serving Jesus in it! doing the will of God from the heart, Wherever you are you re there by the will of God so you do it with all your heart. TO Jesus and FOR Jesus! WHOLE heart! The Christian should be the best employee in the company giving his employer a full day s work for his pay. To do anything less is not just stealing from your employer it s robbing Jesus of your best! 7 rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, 8knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free. God will not allow our hard work to go without reward. He will return to us in the measure that we have worked hard for others 9 Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him. Employer or employee the Gospel leaves its message of absolutely equal obligation in Jesus Christ. 9