Inner Court Magazine I S S U E 6 J U N E 2 0 1 8 In this issue: WHAT A FATHER DOES by: Dominique Henderson You supply what we need to sustain us as your children You are the example natural fathers should be for their children; related by blood or not.
JUNE 2018 Inner Court Magazine 3 5 Examples Are Examples Articles GITTYS AD Your Daily Bread ON THE COVER 7 Home Or Father Hotel Good, Good 9 Beyond The Does Veil What A Father 11 Dear Dads A child and a father showing us that men are called to direct and guide their children and their family. Inner Court Magazine Twitter: @innercourtmag Facebook: Inner Court Magazine Website: www.innercourtmag.com
EXAMPLES ARE EXAMPLES by: Xavier Small Harden not your hearts, as in the provocation, in the day of temptation in the wilderness: When your fathers tempted me, proved me, and saw my works forty years. Hebrews 3:8-9 What should have taken Israel a little more than a week ended up taking them 40 whole years. This generation of Israel had murmured, complained, and bucked the man of God too many times. Because of this, God punishes the whole generation by making it so that they never see the Promised Land, doomed to wander in the wilderness until they died. So now the next generation is on the scene, and God gives them the run down of what happened to the ones that came before them. The people that came before them weren t just any people, they were their fathers. A father has a lot to shoulder in his home. He must instruct, provide, and lead as his Godgiven role requires him to. However, there is an old expression that goes, More is always caught than there is taught. The meaning? You are setting an example to follow, whether you want to or not. You are setting an example whether it is good or not. In Israel s case, a bad example was set, and God warns that new generation to not make the same mistakes that their fathers did. Father, if you re not careful, you can fail your children and set an example that could set your children up for failure. Here are some things you need to do when trying to rear your children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. 1. Trust God, don t tempt Him. Israel saw God do amazing things. Manna fell from heaven to feed them. When they were dissatisfied, He sent them quail. He gave them a pillar of cloud by day to give them guidance and shade while also giving them a fire by night for warmth and guidance in the dark. I N N E R C O U R T M A G A Z I N E 3
As long as they followed God and trusted Him, they were fed, protected, and cared for. But Israel didn t always do that. They tempted God. They constantly complained. They wished to be back in their slavery and would rise up against the leader He put in place after ample examples of his love, care, and provisions for them. Father, your child is seeing the way you handle God. Your children watch how you talk to God, and how your faith is in Him. They watch your devotion or the times you shake your fist at Him. They see whether you read your Bible or if it s collected dust. They see when Mom gets them ready and takes them to Bible study while you stay home. They catch those things. When you re constantly criticizing God and shaking your fist at Him because He didn t give you something you wanted, or believe you needed, they catch that. You re teaching them to tempt or scrutinize God, more than you are teaching them to trust and obey Him. 2. Keep a Consistent Faith. God was GRIEVED with Israel because they constantly found a way to roam from the Lord. Your faith is the evidence of things unseen. The moments when your family is really going through is when they see where your faith really stands. It s when they see how much you really love the Lord. Many people remember the faith of their parents, what will your children remember of yours? That you gave up on God with every hardship? That when God gave it wasn t enough for you? Don t teach them to grieve God! Your faith is foundational for the people that come behind you. Generations of children remember the faith of their father and grandfather. What kind of example are you setting? While your lack of faith cost the people who come after you, theirs? You cannot fail to be an example. You can only fail to be a good one. I N N E R C O U R T M A G A Z I N E 4
YOUR DAILY BREAD B y : J e r i a n H a r d y But when you pray, go into your most private room, close the door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees [what is done] in secret will reward you. And when you pray, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. So, do not be like them [praying as they do]; for your, Father knows what you need before you ask Him. Pray, then, in this manner: Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done. On earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. Matthew 6:9-13 Jesus rendered a model prayer. Pray in this way (King James says Pray in this manner ). This statement alone should free you from any reservations or stigmas about praying. It is not the length of our prayer, the logic of our prayer, or the language, but the faith, the focus and the force of our prayer that causes it to be heard in Heaven. There are many daily life demands: work, wife, children, business, etc., but the one thing that matters more than anything is daily communication with God, your Heavenly Father. In Him, we also were made [God s] heritage (portion) and we obtained an inheritance; for we had been foreordained (chosen and appointed beforehand) in accordance with His purpose, who works out everything in agreement with the counsel and design of His [own] will. (See Ephesians 1 and 2 Corinthians 9:10 AMP) In the opening passage I quoted, Jesus stated that The Father knows our needs. He already knows what you need, every answer to every question or, situation. He is your deliverer and strength as you grow through every test or trial, so when you pray your priority should be: 1. Thy Name 2. Thy Kingdom 3. Thy Will I N N E R C O U R T M A G A Z I N E 5
In Jeremiah 1:5, God said, Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you to be a prophet to the nations. He was speaking to Jeremiah, but this passage is applicable to you. Each day should begin with private time with The Father because He has set you apart to do something for Him. Each day through His presence and His Word you will receive daily bread, the necessities for the sustenance of life. In John 6:48, Jesus said, I am the bread of life. In John 6:35 it reads, Jesus answered, I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to Me will never hunger, and whoever believes in Me will never thirst, and in Matthew 6:33 Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. The Bible states to seek Him early, before trouble or early in the morning, so will you will have that peace that surpasses all understanding. Psalm 119:147 says, I rise before dawn and cry for help, I have put my hope in your Word. When you seek the Lord daily, calling on His name, inviting His Kingdom and His will to be done on earth and in your life, you will be blessed with eternal life and your daily portion of help and strength. I N N E R C O U R T M A G A Z I N E 6
GOOD, GOOD FATHER B y : M o n i q u e M c G i l l God has many names such as El Shaddai (God Almighty), Yahweh, Jehovah, Jehovah-Rapha (The LORD is my Healer), Jehovah-Jireh (The LORD is my Provider) and the list goes on and on. It s amazing that we have a loving God that refers to us as His children, meaning that He is our Father. A good father loves, cares for, teaches and disciplines their child. Parents love their children so much that they d do anything for them. Jesus clues us in on that in perhaps the most quoted Bible verse ever in John 3:16: "For God loved the world so much that He gave His only Son so that anyone who believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. I held a conversation with some friends the other day about God and I realized that God had forsaken Jesus on the cross, but tells us He will never forsake us. He had to forsake Jesus because sin separates us from God. God gave His only begotten Son, Jesus, up for us and left Him, but told us He will never leave us. It reminds me of his promise in Deuteronomy 31:6: Be strong! Be courageous! Do not be afraid of them! For the Lord, your God will be with you. He will neither fail you nor forsake you. God loves us more than we can ever imagine. We know God cares for us because He sent Jesus to die on the cross for our sins while knowing that not everyone would repent and accept Him as Lord and Savior. His love for us is unconditional and it s not subject to any conditions. Paul states so in Romans 5:8: But God showed His great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. God didn t just leave us here to figure things out on our own. He gave us the Holy Spirit and the Bible. The Holy Spirit is our Comforter, Guide, and Counselor. John 14:26: But when the Father sends the Comforter instead of me and by the Comforter I mean the Holy Spirit he will teach you much, as well as remind you of everything I myself have told you. I N N E R C O U R T M A G A Z I N E 7
I am sure you have heard somewhere that the Bible stands for Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth and it would seem so because it teaches us how to live a life that s pleasing to God. Paul helps us understand as much in 2 Timothy 3:16: The whole Bible was given to us by inspiration from God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives; it straightens us out and helps us do what is right. When I was a child after I got disciplined, my dad would always tell me I m only doing this because I love you and it never made sense to me. It wasn t until I got older when I realized discipline is good for a child. Hebrews 12:6-7: For when He punishes you, it proves that He loves you. When He whips you, it proves you are really His child. Let God train you, for He is doing what any loving father does for His children. Whoever heard of a son who was never corrected? After getting disciplined you think twice about doing what you know would get you in trouble. The point of discipline is to produce a change in you. God disciplines us because He loves us and wants us to change. He wants us to get on and stay on the right path. He truly is a good, good Father. I N N E R C O U R T M A G A Z I N E 8
WHAT A FATHER DOES B y : D o m i n i q u e H e n d e r s o n Joshua 14:6-13 AMP 6 Then the [tribe of the] sons of Judah approached Joshua in Gilgal, and Caleb the son of Jephunneh the Kenizzite said to him, You know the word which the Lord said to Moses the man of God concerning me and you in Kadesh-barnea. 7 I was forty years old when Moses the servant of the Lord sent me from Kadesh-barnea to scout the land [of Canaan], and I brought a report back to him as it was in my heart. 8 My brothers (fellow spies) who went up with me made the heart of the people melt with fear; but I followed the Lord my God completely. 9 So Moses swore [an oath to me] on that day, saying, Be assured that the land on which your foot has walked will be an inheritance to you and to your children always, because you have followed the Lord my God completely. 10 And now, look, the Lord has let me live, just as He said, these forty-five years since the Lord spoke this word to Moses, when Israel wandered in the wilderness; and now, look at me, I am eighty-five years old today. 11 I am still as strong today as I was the day Moses sent me; as my strength was then, so is my strength now, for war and for going out and coming in. 12 So now, give me this hill country about which the Lord spoke that day, for you heard on that day that the [giant-like] Anakim were there, with great fortified cities; perhaps the Lord will be with me, and I shall drive them out just as the Lord said. 13 So Joshua blessed him and gave Hebron to Caleb the son of Jephunneh as an inheritance. Joshua 15:13-19 AMP 13 Now to Caleb the son of Jephunneh Joshua gave a portion among the sons of Judah, as the Lord commanded him, namely, Kiriath-arba, Arba being the father of Anak (that is, Hebron). 14 So Caleb drove out from there the three sons of Anak: Sheshai and Ahiman and Talmai, the children of Anak. 15 Then he went up from there against the people of Debir; Debir was formerly named Kiriath-sepher. 16 Caleb said, I will give Achsah my daughter as wife to the man who attacks Kiriath-sepher and captures it. 17 And Othniel the son of Kenaz, Caleb s brother, captured it; so he gave him Achsah his daughter as a wife. 18 Now it came about that when Achsah came to Othniel, she persuaded him [to allow her] to ask her father for a field. Then she [rode up to Caleb and] dismounted from her donkey, and Caleb said to her, What do you want? 19 Achsah answered, Give me a blessing; since you have given me the [dry] land of the Negev (South country), give me springs of water, too. So he gave her the upper springs and the lower springs. Pop, What A Father Does... As I read your Word, I understand you more. There are a few things you ve pointed out to me while reading these two specific passages of scriptures and I also see a double entendre within them. Pop, you supply what we need to sustain us as your children You are the example natural fathers should be for their children; related by blood or not. I love how you give an example of both; how our heavenly Father sustains us and how our natural fathers should. You showed your sustaining power in Caleb. Dad, you sustained Caleb long enough for him to even give land to his daughter as a wedding gift when he was 85, after being enslaved (to the Egyptians) and freed but still bound (wandering in the wilderness). I read about how you brought those with willing hearts through the wilderness to the land you promised. I N N E R C O U R T M A G A Z I N E 9
You supplied all their needs, whether it was instruction, power or confidence, you supplied it. Caleb was 40 years old when he left Egypt, spent 40 years wandering in the wilderness and spent 5 more years conquering land you ve laid out for them. There is nothing too hard for you. Furthermore, you give an example of how our natural fathers on this earth should do the same for their children as you do for your children. Caleb, similar to you, supplied Achsah, his daughter, with what she needed in order for her and her husband, later family, to be sustained. Achsah only asked for a (singular) blessing. Caleb then responds by giving her the upper and lower spring. The conversation between Caleb and Achsah also reminded me of Matthew 7:11 AMP. It reads, If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! This entire story taught me that there s absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help, for the blessing that may be disguised as a challenge or problem. This taught me to ask for the grace to sustain it and know that not only do you already have exactly what I need to maintain it, but I ve received it. Dad, I thank you for being the greatest example of a Father. You re THE ultimate Dad. I love you, Your child. Happy Father s Day To All of The Amazing Dads and Amazing Dad Figures!! If you re new at this, don t fret. God has all the answers. Just ask! Matthew 7:11 I N N E R C O U R T M A G A Z I N E 1 0
DEAR DADS B y : K o f i H o u s t o n Dear Dads, We (at Inner Court Magazine) want to affirm you. What you are doing for your household is important and necessary. The impact your presence alone has cannot be measured and do not think that what you do is not important. Sure, there are a lot of men out there that give the rest of us that actually try and want to do what is right by our family a bad name, but we want to encourage you to keep going. Keep doing what is right no matter how hard it gets because your family needs it. The impact a father has on their family is undeniable. I had worked with kids for many years and I have seen the difference between a kid having a dad in their lives and those that don t. The way they behave in school and their confidence in themselves is in stark contrast to those that don t. As a kid without dad around, I can attest to the anger, bitterness, and confusion that arises. The kid will ask many questions about why dad isn t around and the lack of satisfactory answers could potentially cause them to spiral out of control. But that is where surrogate fathers step in. Whether you are a man that has kids or not, but you invest in children as a teacher, coach, volunteer/mentor, then you deserve to be celebrated as well. You are important and have a great impact as well. Your guidance, wisdom, and love help kids all over obtain their goals and believe in themselves. I, for one, have had many influential men come and go in my life, but they all had contributed something positive. So, don t ever think that your efforts are in vain. We may not get the results we want at that moment, but I am a witness to how those seeds blossom over time into a beautiful harvest. Even though the world is in flux and a lot of the ire is towards men, we just want to encourage you to continue being awesome and positively affecting the lives of all of those around you. Just be sure to remember these key things: I N N E R C O U R T M A G A Z I N E 1 1
Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Colossians 3:21 Sometimes we can be too hard. We need to find the balance. In our world today, and most likely in the ancient world, we view manhood as being this rough and tough nononsense male. We kill our food with our bare hands and the only cologne we wear is either our own testosterone or sweat. Not the case. We must find the balance in how we interact with our kids and find more ways to encourage them then speak negatively in such a way that we kill their spirit. It is also important to remember that Life and death are in the power of the tongue. What this means is that what we say can either encourage them to new heights or lower them to extreme depths. I have seen both ways play out. I have seen kids abused so much that they feel like they are worthless or the scum of the Earth whereas other children feel like they can conquer the world. It is amazing what encouragement can do. This reminds me of my tenure in coaching basketball. I was old school at first. I thought coaching meant you just yelled, stomped, hollered, and gave orders. It wasn t until I sat down with more experienced coaches and mentors that I learned a valuable lesson in how to speak and get kids to run through a brick wall for me. I could be stern, yes, but it is in how I said it whether the job got done or not. One of my most challenging tasks was coaching middle school girls basketball. I had to juggle so many emotions and had to really choose my words carefully. It reminds me of this one time early in my tenure. (I tell this story all of the time.) My girls team was facing one of our rivals. They were really good and it was a close game the entire time. I think we actually had the lead. Anyway, one of my post players was playing lazy and I got upset. I really wanted to win (for selfish reasons mainly). I don t know what it is about girls, but they rarely jump. I needed her to grab rebounds and we lost some rebounds we could ve had because she didn t jump. I called a timeout and laid into her. I asked her in my best interpretation of Bobby Knight, Why aren t you jumping?! We need those rebounds! Then suddenly, in the middle of my tirade, she started sobbing. I paused, looked at the other kids, and then back at her asking her why was she crying. She said it was because I was yelling at her. I had a choice at that moment. I could ve either been like, if you don t suck that mess up and play or I could accurately assess the situation and meet this kid where she was. She was usually one of those giving me all that she had. The moment was big and emotions were high. So, I swallowed my pride, apologized for yelling at her, but still reinforced my command of her needing to jump to get rebounds. She went out there and did just that and we won the game. I often joke about this and tell people how I felt like Tom Hanks in the movie A League of Their Own. There s no crying in basketball! I N N E R C O U R T M A G A Z I N E 1 2
I have so many other stories that I am not going to get into, but the point is that once I learned how to encourage and build up, I began to have more success and loyalty. I saw kids that had very little talent become decent basketball players. They worked hard, believed in themselves, and gave all that they had. Of course they gave me attitude, but in the end, they knew that I cared for them and they cared for me. Children need to be handled with care. There is a time to be tough and there is a time not to be. May The Lord give us the discernment on when we need to be what. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of The Lord. Ephesians 6:4 I N N E R C O U R T M A G A Z I N E 1 3
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