SESSION 5 THE PRESSURE OF CONFLICT 48 SESSION 5
What conflicts and competitions do you find compelling? BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 49
THE POINT Overcome the pressure of conflict by humbly submitting to Christ. THE BIBLE MEETS LIFE Franklin Roosevelt once said, There is nothing I love as much as a good fight. Fighting comes naturally to many people. On any given day they d rather go for the jugular than give in. James wrote that we often find ourselves in the midst of fights, arguments, quarrels, or some kind of dispute. We feel the pressure to fight each other over politics, relationships, work, and church. We quarrel over money, religion, sports, you name it. We even fight ourselves. We feel pressure caused by a lack of contentment and a restlessness in our spirits that can t seem to be satisfied. We even feel pressure to fight God. You may be in conflict with God right now, stubbornly refusing to yield, foolishly holding on tightly to the lesser things of this world. James teaches us how to handle the pressure of conflicts so they don t become quarrels or wars. 50 SESSION 5
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY? James 4:1-10 (HCSB) 1 What is the source of wars and fights among you? Don t they come from the cravings that are at war within you? 2 You desire and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. You do not have because you do not ask. 3 You ask and don t receive because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your evil desires. 4 Adulteresses! Don t you know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? So whoever wants to be the world s friend becomes God s enemy. 5 Or do you think it s without reason the Scripture says that the Spirit who lives in us yearns jealously? 6 But He gives greater grace. Therefore He says: God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. 7 Therefore, submit to God. But resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, sinners, and purify your hearts, double-minded people! 9 Be miserable and mourn and weep. Your laughter must change to mourning and your joy to sorrow. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you. Key Words Adulteresses (v. 4 ) In spiritual adultery, people choose substitutes over God. the proud (v. 6 ) The term refers to those who align their hearts with anyone or anything other than God, thus making Him their rival. humble (v. 6 ) The term conveys a n attitude of lowliness, poverty, lack of power. Humble people have the right view of God and themselves. Rather than align themselves against God they learn from Him, trusting His leadership and will. BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 51
THE POINT Overcome the pressure of conflict by humbly submitting to Christ. James 4:1-5 James began chapter 4 with a question. Where do our conflicts come from? If you are going to stop a fight, the best way to do it is to stop it at its source. James noted three sources of conflict: Self-centeredness. The lusts and pleasures in verse 1 come from the Greek word from which we get our word hedonism. Our fleshly bodies long for pleasure sexual or otherwise and a life of ease. The pleasures of this world try to choke out God s Word in your life (Luke 8:14 ). They act like soldiers waging war against our soul (1 Pet. 2:11 ). Selfcentered desire for pleasure makes us demanding, unfaithful, greedy, possessive, murderous, covetous, and envious. Prayerlessness. We fight because we don t have, and we don t have because we don t ask. Too often, we are so busy fighting that we don t have time to pray. Or we pray for the wrong things (v. 3). God is the giver of every good and perfect gift (Jas. 1:17 ). But we never know God s provision because we don t take time to pray. When we do pray, James says we don t always get because we ask from a bad place. Actually from a cruel, evil, sick place. We give our wish list to God with one aim in mind: satisfaction of our own evil and selfish desires. James says that wastes (that s what the word spend means in v. 3) God s blessing. What cravings most often lead you into conflict? QUESTION #2 Worldliness. Verses 4-5 refer to embracing the world s values, living for the here and now, and seeking the world s treasures, glory, and recognition. Seeking the things of the world brings us into conflict with God. When you long for the things of this world, you commit adultery against God. Believers are the bride of Christ, and to turn from Him is unfaithfulness. Seeking the world also shows hostility toward God; we act hatefully and in opposition to Him, similar to before we knew Jesus (Rom. 8:7, Col. 1:21 ). To make God your enemy literally means to stand against Him. 52 SESSION 5
CHECK YOUR MOTIVES PRAYING FOR SELFISH MOTIVE CHRIST-CENTERED MOTIVE Praying for more money Praying for a car Praying for someone's salvation How do motives relate to conflict? QUESTION #3 BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 53
THE POINT Overcome the pressure of conflict by humbly submitting to Christ. James 4:6-10 James offers five practical ways to overcome the pressure of conflict: 1. Humble yourself. God is opposed to the proud. When we persist with arrogant, self-centered, selfseeking actions, then conflict and fights remain part of our experience. The pain of conflict is great, but James promises that God s grace is greater. And His grace His help, favor, and blessing are given to those who choose to be humble. Humble people are teachable. Humble people don t demand their way. Humble people admit their needs to God and others. Humble people don t seek the things of the world to validate them. Humble people find grace from God to start over and receive new strength. When you humble yourself in the presence of God, He will exalt you. 2. Submit to God. Submission is a command (v. 7). The verb submit is a compound word in Greek that means to align yourself under something or someone. Think of an organizational chart or a military formation. Christ is the head and we align ourselves under Him. Christ is our commander and we carry out His orders. We avoid and resolve conflict by laying down our rights and following Jesus. 3. Resist the Devil. The word devil in verse 7 is the Greek word diablos. It s where we get our word diabolical. It s a compound word that means to throw or hurl against. Satan casts insults and accusations against you. He whispers : Demand your way, Give them a piece of your mind, You deserve better, You can t let them get away with that, and many other lies and temptations. But the diabolical one only steals, kills, and destroys (John 10:10 ). So, stand against him. Take every thought captive to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5 ). Put on the armor of God (Eph. 6:10-17 ). Hide God s Word in your heart (Luke 4:1-12 ). My wife and I have learned that when our tempers burn hottest and we are really going at it, the only one winning is Satan. We ve learned to stop and acknowledge that. My spouse is not the enemy; Satan is. We call that out for what it is: spiritual warfare. And then we work together to reject his attempt to devour our marriage. What is involved in resisting the Devil? QUESTION #4 54 SESSION 5
When you resist the devil in the name of Jesus, he will flee. Why? Because you surrender to God and hide yourself in Him Satan wants none of Jesus. That battle is already won. 4. Draw near to God. The Bible offers several ways to foster close fellowship with God: Read the Bible. It is God s love letter to you. It shows how to draw near to God s heart and plan. Listen to God. God welcomes and enjoys your conversation. Like any relationship, both listening and talking are a must. Bible reading is how God talks to you. Set a daily time to read and pray. Doing so will re-adjust the altitude and attitude of your heart, and shed the selfishness and worldliness that so often lead to conflict. Worship. Whether worshipping with your church family on Sunday or focusing on God during the week, keep God in your mind. When you draw near to God, He draws near to you. 5. Get rid of your sins. James commands us to cleanse our hands and purify our hearts. For conflict to end, we must own our faults and wrongs, and seek to be made right. Invite the Holy Spirit to take over. He aligns your hands and heart with God, the essence of holiness. Cleanse your hands through repentance. Purify your heart by letting Him make your heart holy. The word purify translates to the Greek word holy. James adds that we need to purify our hearts because we are double-minded. More accurately, we can be double-souled. Our flesh and Satan appeal to our soul to turn from God. But the Spirit of God within us beckons us to yield to God and follow after Christ. The most miserable person in the world is the one who claims Christ, yet follows the flesh. We are not to have a divided soul. What helps you draw near to Christ and humble yourself before Him? QUESTION #5 " In every encounter we either give l ife or we drain it. There is no neutral exchange." BRENNAN MANNING BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 55
David felt like he was all alone with a story no one in our small group could understand. Brittany cut her wrists last weekend. I don t believe she intended to take her life, but I definitely heard the cry for help, he said. When I Steven s response? Why, so I can be like you, when John urged Steven to look for a job. asked her why, she said, It isn t like you would Dad? You have a lot of great stuff, but I want to miss me, Dad. You ve always been so busy with have a better relationship with my kids than I your career. I ve felt for a long time that I m have with you. invisible to you. To his surprise, David quickly discovered he THE HAVE-IT-ALL MYTH was far from alone. John s relationship with his The Boomer parenting style was influenced by son Steven hadn t reached a crisis point, but it our own distant relationships with our fathers, brought its own share of pained conversations whose core anthem was brought to painful light in songwriter Harry Chapin s haunting hit Cat s career that would provide personal satisfaction in the Cradle. How did we end up as the second and material goods. We believed in ourselves and verse to the story of a man so busy chasing his in our pursuits, and we naively hoped our kids dreams he missed connecting with his young son? would understand. The you-can-have-it-all myth had a lot to do They did not. with it. It s not just the women of our generation who bought into the idea that they could not just our things. They wanted us to believe in They wanted us, our interest, and our interaction have everything, from bringing home the bacon them as much as we believed in our dreams. to frying it in the pan. Men did, too. Many of us Just as in that Harry Chapin song, we ve thought we could find fulfillment by building a arrived in the second half of our lives and want a 34 MORE LIVING NOVEMBER 2012 NOVEMBER 2012 MORE LIVING 35 THE ADOPTION OPTION FEBRUARY 2013 U.S.A. $3.95 USE YOUR SKILLS TO SERVE YOUR CHURCH My Daughter s FOR GRANDPARENTS 5 Boomer Leaders Tell It Like It Was (and is) THE POINT Overcome the pressure of conflict by humbly submitting to Christ. LIVE IT OUT When the pressure of conflict begins to rise in your life, take action. Based on the principles in James 4:1-10, consider these steps: Check your motives. Evaluate your desires to determine if they are self-centered or Christ-centered. Submit to Christ. Give up every thought and desire to the lordship of Christ. Keep a prayer journal. Keep the proper focus by identifying how each request can specifically honor Jesus. Conflict may be compelling in the sports arena, but not in your life. Quit competing with God and live humbly under Jesus Christ. Start Here Healing relationships with grown children sometimes means dealing with past failures to move forward. Start Here by Bill Farrel PHOTOS: GETTY/BLUE IMAGES David felt like he was all alone with a story no one in our small group could understand. Brittany cut her wrists last weekend. I don t believe she intended to take her life, but I definitely heard the cry for help, he said. When I asked her why, she said, It isn t like you would miss me, Dad. You ve always been so busy with your career. I ve felt for a long time that I m invisible to you. 7 DAYS WITHOUT Google? REFILL YOUR EMPTY NEST DO WHAT MATTERS Wedding Day: PRAYER ANSWERED A GRAND NAME GAME Talking About My Generation To continue reading Start Here from More Living magazine, visit BibleStudiesforLife.com/articles. WWW.LIFEWAY.COM 56 SESSION 5
My g roup's prayer requests My thoughts BIBLE STUDIES FOR LIFE 57