Aim to Be a Good Friend KEY VERSE 1 Samuel 20:42 STICKY STATEMENT Friendship is forever. LESSON OBJECTIVE Children will learn to be genuinely loyal to their friends in order to develop lifetime relationships. CHECKLIST 1. A PowerPoint is available for this lesson. 2. Bow and 3 Arrows (Body) 3. A hand-knit scarf or other knitted piece of clothing (Body) 4. Visual 5 as a take home paper 5. Video: Friends Forever, https://teachersource.wol.org/videos/oly18/18-1/ (2:16) (Body) 6. Poster board or bulletin board with a target labeled Aim to be a Good Friend. 7. Visual 1 8. Print Visuals 2-4 and cut out each arrow. LESSON OVERVIEW In this lesson we will use David and Jonathan s friendship as an example of true friendship based on love and loyalty that the children could model for their friendships. The lesson encourages them to think of qualities that will help them make friends, and also how to be a good friend. Encourage them to develop forever friendships with other Christians. Younger Adaptation Teacher s Note: At the end of the body of the lesson before the Application, show the song, Friends Forever https://teachersource.wol.org/videos/oly18/1 8-1/ (2:16). Listen to this song about how God wants our friendships to be like David and Jonathan s. 18. Aim to Be a Good Friend (Module 5 Role Model) - 127
INTRODUCTION Everyone wants to have good friends that really care about us. Today we will talk about how to have and be a best friend. But first let s name some reasons why people become friends. Teacher s Note: Divide the poster board or bulletin board in two. Put reasons to be friends on one side and reasons not to be friends on the other side. Allow children to tell why they became friends. (For example: Same age. Like the same things. He/she is nice to me. Our families were friends.) Next, allow kids to tell why they are not friends with some other people. (For example: That person always wants their own way all the time or they are selfish with games or toys.) Sometimes we have a friend for a while and then something happens that changes your friendship. Can you name some things that might weaken your friendships? Teacher s Note: Some ideas to help students: Your friend or you have moved away. You both make new friends and your prior friendship fades over time. You have a fight about something or one becomes jealous of the other. You are interested in different things so you just don t spend as much time together as before. BODY In the book of 1 Samuel chapters 18-20, we learn about a very special friendship between two men, David and Jonathan. Most of you have heard the story about David the shepherd boy who became a hero when he killed the evil giant, Goliath. When David returned from killing the giant, the leader of the army took him to see King Saul. The king commanded that David come to live in the palace. Jonathan was King Saul s son, and he and David immediately became best friends. Listen to what the Bible says about how their hearts were connected to one another. [Read 1 Samuel 18:1.] The Bible says that their hearts were knit together. Have you ever seen your mom or grandma knit? [Hold up hand-knit item.] Look at the threads and how they are woven together. You couldn t possibly get them all apart without destroying the whole thing! That is how connected David and Jonathan were. The two made a covenant or a promise that they would be friends forever. David did everything that Saul commanded him to do, and he did his job well. David bravely fought and won many battles. Soon the people of Israel loved David so much so that the women began to sing songs about him. When King Saul saw that David was getting more glory than him, Saul became very jealous of David. As a result, Saul tried to kill David several times. This broke Jonathan s heart because of his friendship with David. Even though Jonathan was supposed to follow his father as king, he realized that God wanted David to be the next king. To show that Jonathan accepted David as the next king of Israel, he gave David his sword, his belt, and placed his own royal robe on David. At first Jonathan couldn t believe that his father really wanted to kill David, so the two men came up with a plan. It was like a secret code! See if you can figure out this special secret message. Teacher s Note: Hand out the David and Jonathan Secret Code papers and pencils. Give the students about 3 minutes to decipher the code. Younger students may need a little more time. What was the secret message between Jonathan and David? Our friendship is forever. Now let s find out about their secret plan. Jonathan told David he would find out what was really in the heart of his father. The plan was that Jonathan would send David a secret message by shooting arrows. David would hide in the field. Then Jonathan, along with a young boy, would shoot three arrows, then tell the boy to go find the arrows and bring them back to him. 18. Aim to Be a Good Friend (Module 5 Role Model) - 128
Teacher s Note: Hold up the bow and arrows. Draw back the bow and pretend to shoot. One. Two. Three arrows. If it was safe for David to return to Saul s house, Jonathan would say to the boy Come back this way, the arrows are closer. If Jonathan said, Go out farther. The arrows are beyond you, then David would know he needed to run away because Saul was truly trying to kill him. So, let s open our Bibles to 1 Samuel 20, and we will see what happened next. [Read 1 Samuel 20:35-42. Show Visual 1.] David and Jonathan made a promise to each other that their friendship was forever. They would always love and be loyal to each other s families in the future, no matter what happened. Teacher s Note: You may choose to include the Younger Adaptation here. Show music video, Friends Forever https://teachersource.wol.org/videos/oly18/18-1/ (2:16). APPLICATION Teacher s Note: Use the arrows on Visuals 2-4 that have the words with missing letters for the following activity. Do this activity together or divide into groups. Put in the missing letters to complete the words. You can glue the arrows to a poster board around a target labeled, Aim to be a Good Friend. If you have wall or bulletin board space, you can put the target and arrows on it. The words are: listen, loving, loyal, share, smile, show respect, common interests, encouraging, fair, funny, nice, says sorry, and prays. How would you aim to be a good friend? To find some of the qualities for being a good friend, let s finish the words by filling in the missing letters. [Allow the children to help you fill in the missing letters.] Which qualities are you already showing? Which ones do you need to work on to help you find and keep good friends? Teacher s Note: Comment on the qualities of being a good friend as you put them on the poster board or bulletin board. All of these qualities describe the relationship between David and Jonathan. Instead of choosing jealousy like his father, Jonathan chose love and loyalty toward David because he understood this was God s chosen one. Do you allow jealousy to stand between you and your friends? Are you honest with each other and respectful of your friend s feelings? A good friend doesn t talk behind their friend s back or say something that would get them in trouble. You probably will have many friends during your lifetime. Some will be Christians, but some might not be. If you really want to be forever friends, you will share Jesus with them and hopefully your friend will know Jesus as their Savior. A real friend encourages you to do what s right. Real friends stick up for each other, and real friends should pray for each other. If you and your friends have trusted Christ as Savior, you will naturally feel closer because you have a common bond in Christ. You may hear adults say that their friends are their brothers or sisters in Christ because they know that their friendship will continue even after they go to live in Heaven forever. This week, choose to be a good friend to someone new by doing some of the things that we talked about. Ask God to help you show love and loyalty to all your friends so that your friendships are forever. [Close in prayer.] 18. Aim to Be a Good Friend (Module 5 Role Model) - 129
PERSONAL TRAINING TIME Goal of this Personal Training Time Help the students think of ways to put others before themselves showing love and loyalty to their friend. Discussion Questions 1. What did Jonathan give to David as a sign of his friendship? (Belt, robe, sword) What can you share with your friends to show them that you love them? (Discuss with the children how they should act friendly to others. Some of the things that they can share are: games, toys, candy or other treats.) 2. Name some qualities that will help you to be a good friend. Which ones are you doing? (Friends should listen, share, be encouraging, loving, be loyal, show respect, say sorry, be nice, be fair, have fun, pray, share the same interests, and smile.) 3. How can you show loyalty to a friend? (Real friends stick up for them when someone else talks about them; they encourage each other when they feel sad or lonely, and they pray for each other.) PARENT CONNECTION One desire of every parent would be that their children have a relationship with their siblings that goes beyond genetics or blended family ties. Help children become more than just relatives but lifetime friends. Look for opportunities this week to remind children to show love to siblings by sharing, taking turns, giving gifts, or just being kind to one another. Just like David and Jonathan in our story this week had a secret code, it might be fun for your kids to invent a secret handshake that would be unique to them. Sometimes our closest friendships may not be genetically related but are founded in our common relationship with Christ. 18. Aim to Be a Good Friend (Module 5 Role Model) - 130
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