BOY MEETS GIRL Song of Solomon 1:1-8 Dr. Jon McNeff, Senior Pastor April 17, 2016 Note: The following are the pastor s notes used in preaching this message. This is not a complete, word-for-word transcription of what was preached. These notes serve as a companion to the complete message, which is available by listening to the audio version. Bible quotes are primarily from NASB and ESV, respectively. Tony and Maria in West Side Story at the dance everything stops! Normal for all of us I had several serious girlfriends Janet, Marcia, Diane then I got to Jr. Hi! Then I met Anne! Song of Solomon speaks to this issue through Hebrew poetry very different from ours Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme but this one don t! Hebrew poetry is like that doesn t rhyme arranged by topic graphic word pictures Song of Solomon is written by a man from the perspective of a woman! 53% are the words of the woman 34% from the man 6% from the daughters of Jerusalem 7% other very intimate probably sentiment shared by the woman with her husband after they were married Solomon records her words spoken to him telling him about her thoughts the night before their wedding Song of Solomon 1:5 indicates she is speaking in the presence of the daughters of Jerusalem confidants girlfriends from Jerusalem she told Solomon about their girl talk I. PHYSICAL DESIRE First thing Solomon mentions is physical desire it s the normal desire for sexual intimacy many think this isn t worthy of being in the Bible but it is some think sex is dirty, but it isn t these are observations not mandates A. Kissing Shulammite s opening line is a longing for their first sexual union to take place. While she is getting ready for the wedding feast, she is already longing to go beyond the feast looking forward to the bridal chamber itself. Thus her first desire Let him kiss me for his sexual love is better than wine is actually a desire for their first sexual union in order to consummate the marriage. Kissing here is used in the sense of foreplay in preparation for sexual love. 1 Song of Solomon 1:2 May he kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! Kissing is an intimate expression more intimate than handshake or hug this is not a peck on the cheek it s on the mouth! Natural desire when boy meets girl but in most cultures this is reserved for married couples it s the beginning of sexual foreplay leads to something else Shulammite is ready to begin with the first kiss! First kiss between a man and a woman in Scripture is in Genesis 29:9 when Jacob arrived at the home of his uncle Laban after fleeing Esau when his cousin Rachel approached the well where he was talking with some shepherds, he kissed Rachel, and lifted his voice and wept. Genesis 29:11 So overcome with emotion of finding the family he was looking for but we also know Rachel was a beautiful young woman Jacob later bargained with her father Laban to work for seven years for her hand in marriage A girl thinks a kiss is innocent boy thinks something different first step to getting his engine started! Natural desire is to go further ends in sexual frustration, immorality, or marriage [First kiss ninth grade Sue Powell in the Tunnel of love at Kansas State Fair implication secrecy in the dark] B. Intoxicating The reason she wanted him to kiss her is because your love is better than wine. Three different words for love in Song of Solomon dod is equivalent to eros in Greek refers to erotic or sexual love other Hebrew words 1983), 8 10. 1 Arnold G. Fruchtenbaum, Biblical Lovemaking: A Study of the Song of Solomon (Tustin, CA: Ariel Ministries Press, 1
for love ra eyah equivalent to phileo in Greek = to guard, care for, tend, delight in someone emotional response to friendship ahavah parallel to agape in Greek not as emotional speaks of the will to love just like Christ s love for us when we were dead in our trespasses and sins The word here is dod obvious sexual connotation root word means to cause to boil up speaks of contents of a boiling pot being stirred vigorously 2 - the word is plural, indicating the various aspects of making love used is positive way in Song of Solomon But dod is also used in a negative light in Scripture it s the love of the harlot expressed in Proverbs 7:18 Come, let us drink our fill of love until morning; Let us delight ourselves with caresses. Ezekiel 23:17 The Babylonians came to her to the bed of love and defiled her with their harlotry. Unfortunately, negative attitudes toward sex have permeated the church it was the dominant view of the Catholic Church throughout the Middle Ages Tertullian and Ambrose preferred the extinction of the human race to its propagation through the sin of sexual intercourse Augustine said the sexual act was innocent in marriage but the passion that always accompanies it is sinful Origen took Matthew 19:12 so literally that he had himself castrated before being ordained 3 - eventually the Church issued edicts forbidding sex on Thursdays, the day of Christ s arrest; on Fridays, the day He was crucified; on Saturdays, in honor of the Blessed Virgin; and on Sundays in honor of the departed saints also included bans on sex for 40 day fasts before Christmas, Easter, and Pentecost ended up with only 44 days a year available for sex 4 - led Catholic church to allegorizing Song of Solomon to remove sexual inferences also led to perverted view of Virgin Mary and celibacy for priests Continued in Victorian England Queen Victoria, the head of the Anglican Church said sex was dreadful and spoke of it as the animal side of our nature. She advised women who had to have sex with husbands to lie back and think of England. 5 Luther rescued marriage from the perverted clutches of the Catholic Church by marrying Katie Von Bora and having six kids if not for the Reformation, the perverted attitude of the Catholic Church might still be prevalent There is nothing Satan wants to counterfeit more than sex most enjoyable of all acts for human beings it s the foundation of society creating another life is the closest thing we get to participating in a miracle and the love of a man and woman in marriage is a picture of Christ s love for the church In our culture sex has become a right, not a privilege we demand sexual gratification it s a basic need just like food so we treat it like food supersize it our plates are mounds of calories our sex-saturated society is like that but sex is like a river beautiful within its banks but destructive when it overflows! II. PHYSICAL CARE Her speech moves from talking about him to talking to him figurative like we do when we talk to ourselves one moment she s thinking about him the next moment she s talking to him in her imagination Song of Solomon 1:3 Your oils have a pleasing fragrance in the hot desert climate in Israel during Solomon s days men rarely bathed water was scarce and precious they used variety of oils and lotions to keep skin from drying out and to smell good simply put the guy brushed his teeth, combed his hair and put some foo-foo juice on to smell good nothing wrong with that The Bible doesn t condemn good grooming Exodus 30:23-25 elaborate preparation of spices and perfumes to be used in the Temple as a sweet savor to God God wanted His Temple to smell good! Proverbs 27:9 Oil and perfume make the heart glad Ruth 3:3 when Naomi gave instructions to Ruth on getting noticed by Boaz she 2 Carl Friedrich Keil and Franz Delitzsch, Commentary on the Old Testament, vol. 6 (Peabody, MA: Hendrickson, 1996), 512. 3 Leland Ryken, Worldly Saints: The Puritans As They Really Were (Grand Rapids, Michigan: 1986), 40. 4 Philip Yancey, Holy Sex, Christianity Today (October 2003), 48-49. 5 Gary Inrig, Whole Marriage in a Broken World (Grand Rapids, MI: Discovery House Books, 1996), 198. 2
said, Wash yourself therefore, and anoint yourself and put on your best clothes, and go down to the threshing floor; but do not make yourself known to the man until he has finished eating and drinking. John 12:3 Mary anointed Jesus feet with very costly perfume Matthew 6:17 even when you are fasting Jesus instructed us to anoint your head and wash your face i.e. go about your normal pattern of daily grooming which includes washing and making yourself smell good Of course this must all be kept in balance 1 Peter 3:3-4 Your adornment must not be merely external braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. Neither is there anything wrong with beauty itself Genesis 12:11 Sarah was a beautiful woman Genesis 12:14 the Egyptians saw that she was very beautiful Genesis 24:16 Rebekah was very beautiful Genesis 29:17 Rachel was beautiful of form and face. Esther 2:7 God chose Esther, who was beautiful of form and face to prevent the slaughter of the Jews III. PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP A. Reputation But Shulammite is impressed with more than Solomon s physical traits first he has a solid reputation she continues in Song of Solomon 1:3 Your name is like purified oil name = sem root means to mark or brand refers to something that distinguishes one person from another 6 - like the old West branding of cattle to determine ownership Name represents the totality of a person not what they think they are nor how they want to be perceived but what other people actually think of them purified oil referred to the first pressing of the oil from the olive trees around Jerusalem was designated for the lamp stand that burned in the Temple day and night intended for Temple use only therefore, it was the best oil given to God Solomon s reputation was like purified oil it was sterling the best and it was because of his devotion to God 1 Kings 11:4 when Solomon was old, his wives turned his heart away after other gods and his heart was not wholly devoted to the Lord His God but for now, it was B. Respect Second she notices the way her girlfriends respect him Therefore the maidens love you. it s not just Shulammite maidens = almah refers to unmarried virgins the general circle of her unmarried girlfriends it s always a good sign when your friends have the same opinion you do not talking about a player previous conquests of women isn t a good sign of respect but others should see something good in your man They love you not dod this love doesn t refer to sexual attraction it s ahavah this is love of the will points to the choices we make to commit to the people we love not based just on our feelings this is family commitment love describes the commitment of Abraham and Isaac (Genesis 22:2) Ruth loved Naomi her mother-in-law (Ruth 4:15) Elkanah loved his wife Hannah (1 Samuel 1:5) Rebekah loved her son Jacob (Genesis 25:28) also refers to a slave who loves his master and wants to indenture himself to his master for the rest of his life (Exodus 21:8) 7 This love is respect the maidens are drawn to Solomon with the deep respect because of his character and integrity 6 Walter C. Kaiser,, ed. R. Laird Harris, Gleason L. Archer Jr., and Bruce K. Waltke, Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament (Chicago: Moody Press, 1999), 934. 7 Robert Alden,, ed. R. Laird Harris, Gleason L. Archer Jr., and Bruce K. Waltke, Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament (Chicago: Moody Press, 1999), 14. 3
Solomon was a handsome man but he was so much more he was a man of godly character and integrity men and women don t be fooled if you fall for someone based solely on their looks you might be disappointed someone who is hot doesn t mean he has godly character a beauty queen doesn t mean she loves the Lord the saying beauty is skin deep is true indicates someone who is in love with themselves IV. PHYSICAL PRESENCE Song of Solomon 1:4 Draw me after you and let us run together! The king has brought me into his chambers. reveals her natural desires natural desire of every woman and man reflects God s evaluation Genesis 2:18 It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him. this passage indicates that the woman also had a desire to be intimate chambers = heder compartment or room which affords privacy used to describe obvious place for private sexual encounter Joel 2:16 describes it as the bridal chamber in Judges 15:1 is describes the bedroom of his wife 8 Implications the desire for sexual intimacy in the heart of a woman is proper and good may have been damaged for some women through abuse or incomplete sexual instruction husband needs to know this if so, the woman needs to seek a trusted older woman for counsel before she gets married The desire to be alone in sexual commitment is natural but the timing must be protected usually by the woman why? She will bear the responsibility of pregnancy if they are alone outside of marriage Shulammite knew that this verse must be seen in light of Song of Solomon 2:7 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the hinds of the field, that you do not arouse or awaken my love until she pleases. Ahavah not dod she doesn t even want to get into a romantic, emotional attachment until it is the right decision to make until the time is right why? She knows that dod will overwhelm ahavah it s that powerful! Shulammite affirms that in Song of Solomon 1:4b Solomon records what she and her girlfriends thought of him We will rejoice in you and be glad; We will extol your love more than wine. Rightly do they love you. The love extolled is dod sexual love the love affirmed is ahavah emotional attachment because of character That s why young love must be nurtured publicly that s the focus of Song of Solomon 1:7 Tell me, O you whom my soul loves, where do you pasture your flock, where do you make it lie down at noon? For why should I be like one who veils herself beside the flocks of your companions? Shulammite remembers her first encounter with Solomon he had noticed her they had begun a conversation she wanted to get to know him but she didn t want to be known as one who veils herself beside the flocks of your companions refers to prostitutes who followed shepherds desperate woman who needed money or were looking for a husband in the wrong way she was too moral to act like that! She wanted their relationship to develop out in the open not secretly Solomon responded in Song of Solomon 1:8 If you yourself do not know, most beautiful among women, go forth on the trail of the flock and pasture your young goats by the tents of the shepherds. Being in the bedroom is the culmination of a relationship not the beginning this means: Develop your profile of a spouse in advance don t start with the physical look at character and reputation never deviate don t let your emotions dictate your choices Start with a group don t express your feelings openly if you like someone keep it to yourself and see what his reputation is like if he/she doesn t meet your list then tell your feelings to cool it believe me God will provide someone Don t date someone you wouldn t marry Stay away from private place couch while watching movie cars at night empty houses being alone with you never the way to start if boyfriend or girlfriend pushes you to be alone away from family and friends this indicates they are emotionally immature and possessive run from them! 8 Carl Philip Weber, 1, ed. R. Laird Harris, Gleason L. Archer Jr., and Bruce K. Waltke, Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament (Chicago: Moody Press, 1999), 265. 4
V. PHYSICAL ASSESSMENT Song of Solomon 1:5-6 I am black but lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem, like the tents of Kedar, Like the curtains of Solomon. Do not stare at me because I am swarthy, for the sun has burned me. My mother s sons were angry with me; they made me caretaker of the vineyards, but I have not taken care of my own vineyard. She was different black but lovely tents of Kedar were a nomadic tribe in northern Arabia that made their tens out of black goat hair just like the curtains of Solomon were also dark why? Nothing to do with nationality the sun has burned me she had a great tan! Desired by many today but not then the daughters of Jerusalem were inside girls never had to work in the fields pampered their skin with ointments and lotions white was right She was self-conscious Do not stare at me because I am swarthy (black in comparison to their creamy white skin) She had family problems brothers were angry with me no father around probably dead She had social problems the brothers made me caretaker of the vineyard But she said she was black but lovely where did that come from? Brothers? Mother? daughters of Jerusalem? I think it came from Solomon she had not taken care of my own vineyard sunburned skin, chapped hands, uncombed hair, grubby clothes she was as farmhand! Important lesson for men and women he looked past the physical appearance, social status, family background and saw a gem! She didn t sell herself by sex appeal and worrying about physical appearance This may be perceived as an ideal but what if you ve failed? God will hold me fast QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION 1. Where do you think most people learn about sex? 2. Why does Solomon begin the book with such intimate expressions in Song of Solomon 1:2? 3. What significance does your name and the maidens have in Song of Solomon 1:3? 4. What is the woman saying in Song of Solomon 1:6? Why does she bring this up? 5. What is being expressed in Song of Solomon 1:7-8? 6. Which of the points in the outline spoke most to you? 5