The Forgiven Forgive. Reading: Matthew 18:21-35. The Forgiven Forgive Forgiveness from the heart is one of THE hardest things to do in life! What do I mean by forgiveness? Forgiveness is the complete pardon of any offense committed against us and for us to be reconciled to the person. It s the complete pardon of any offence committed against us and for us to be reconciled to the person. When we re hurt, it can be hard to forgive. When we re deeply hurt, even by those we know & love the best, it can be harder to forgive. When My dearly beloved and I were married, Leo, the guy who married us, gave us a large framed verse of scripture as a gift with a request that we put it above our bed in our bedroom. So, what s the verse? Ephesians 4:32. The Forgiven Forgive Page 1 of 22 15 th April 2018
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. What was he thinking? Was he thinking that we d need reminding that we d forget to be kind to each other? That we d need to be reminded that Dot and I would need to be tender-hearted or compassionate to each other? That we d need to forgive each other? What was he expecting, fights, conflict? Obviously, he d been married long enough to know what we d need. The text on the verse that was above our bed when first married as long since faded, and the verse has become one of our family s go to verses. But the weight and meaning of the verse has not left Dot & I. [DP] Conflict happens, even in in the most ideal situations, even with people that you really like and love. When conflict happens, often, quite often, there s some relationship mending that has to occur. Today, we re looking at the biblical approach to forgiveness. In Ephesians 4:32, the call s there for Christians to forgive each other, but the standard is just as God has forgiven us. Forgiveness is not an easy subject to cover in one sermon, and I know that I won t be addressing everything today. Today, we ll be looking at God s forgiveness, and then from that we ll see how we re to forgive. The Forgiven Forgive Page 2 of 22 15 th April 2018
Today what I d like us to remember is this; Christians are to graciously forgive as we ve been forgiven by God. The Radical Power to Forgive God s Forgiveness. The Radical Mark of the Forgiven Our Forgiveness. The Radical Power to Forgive God s Forgiveness. Last week we looked at conflict, and the biblical way of approaching this. We looked at conflict in the Clash of Kingdoms, and we saw that the source of conflict is from the desires and passions of our hearts. From the desires from our hearts, we can have make idols that rule our hearts, that rule our lives. We can make our own kingdoms based around these desires. The problem is that these desires shape and direct our decisions, thoughts, actions, and words. And because each of us can be in pursuit of our own desires, each of us pursuing our own passions, each of us pursing the desires of our own little kingdoms, this brings a clash of kingdoms, this brings about conflict between people, because we re all pursuing our desires, not God s desires. We saw that the underlying cause of us pursuing our own passions being that we ve lost the delight in God that we should have and that this delight in God has been overshadowed by something else. The remedy for this was to start with our own hearts, by examining our lives in the light of the cross of Christ. The Forgiven Forgive Page 3 of 22 15 th April 2018
At times of conflict we need to challenge ourselves by asking the question, whose kingdom am I serving at this moment? Mine or God s kingdom? This brings us to today, when conflict happens, somewhere there s going to have to be some sort of relationship mending that has to happen. The Radical Power to Forgive God s Forgiveness. The question of this morning is how as Christians are we to forgive? In today s reading in Matthew 18, that s the question Peter is asking of Jesus. We read that together in verse 21. Then Peter came up and said to him, Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times? Here in Matthew chapter 18, there s a bunch of teaching to do with how the disciples, and by connection, how we re to live as people in God s kingdom. Actually, it s interesting to note that this section of teaching comes in immediately after the disciples ask a question that was burning in their minds. They were wanting to find out who was going to be the top dog, the top disciple in God s new kingdom. Instead Jesus points out that you cannot even think about entering heaven unless you humble yourself and become like a child. Forget about trying to sort out who gets what in the kingdom of God. This s upside down to the disciples thinking children need to be led, not to lead but that s the point as children need to be humble in needing to be cared for and for them to be protected that s the way we need to approach God, not full of our own sufficiency, just humbly relying on God s love and grace. It s in the context of kingdom living and this lesson of humility, that this question of forgiveness comes up. In verse 15 Jesus says If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. In verse 21 Peter seems to pick up this thread of thought, asking this question Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times? The Forgiven Forgive Page 4 of 22 15 th April 2018
Peter thought he was being rather generous, as in those days the common teaching was to forgive 3 times, but the fourth time you re sinned against you don t. A slight extension on the three strikes and you re out, to four! Peter was probably thinking this is nicer, this is a generous number seven times the number of perfection. But Jesus s response is as equally dramatic for the disciples as was the lesson with the child earlier. In verse 22 Jesus said to him, I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. In some versions it s put as seventy times seven, it s not the number that s important here. This isn t Jesus upping Peter s stakes - 77 times and you re ok, but on the 78 th time, you re out here! No, Jesus was pointing out that we re NOT to keep account, we re not to track the number of times we grant forgiveness. Jesus is teaching that as people of His kingdom, forgiveness is to be a way of life. Jesus illustrates this with a parable, that gives us a picture of what God s forgiveness is like. Reading with me from verse 23, Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything. 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. In this parable, the king represents God, the servants are God s people. The settling of accounts is a metaphor for judgement. The ten thousand talents would ve been an enormous debt. A talent was the largest measure of weight used in those times. Ten thousand, is the largest number that could be written down at the time. It s from this term in the Greek that we get the English word myriad It gives you the picture that this debt was huge. In other words, this bloke owed gazillions of dollars, and there was no way that he could pay it back in this lifetime. The Forgiven Forgive Page 5 of 22 15 th April 2018
As many people know that when you have a home loan, which can be a fair-sized sum, often it can feel as if we re owned by the bank. We work, earn some money only to fork it over to the bank to keep a roof over our heads. Here this guy owed so much, that he became the property of the king, along with everything he had. Even selling everything he had including the better half & kids wouldn t settle the debt. This may seem harsh in in today s standards, but in those days, the wife, kids and possessions belonged to the man. So naturally if he was sold, so was everything else, including the family. Also, it was common for people at that time to become slaves and work to repay debt. The problem was for this bloke there s no way possible that he d be able to do this, such was the size of the debt. Picture this, to pay back the ten thousand talent debt, earning one denarii a day as a slave, which was the award rate of the time, is equivalent to 60 Million days of work. And you thought your week goes slow! Imagine that, 60 Million days of work. Without having a day off or a holiday it d only take 164,384 years to pay off the debt! Ok, better get started then, there s a bit to be done! Obviously to think about paying back Ten thousand talents was an impossibility. The weight of debt was huge. In verse 26, we see the guy pleading for mercy, and in verse 27 the compassion of the king is shown by the servant being released from slavery, from judgement and being forgiven of the debt. This parable speaks to us of the totally unmerited grace of God. It s the grace of God which forgives His people more than they could ever imagine as they are unable to help themselves. There s a huge weight of debt that we owe because of our sin. The Bible tells us of God creating a perfect creation, with Adam and Eve given responsibility over God s creation. Things were great until Adam & Eve turned and rebelled against God. The Forgiven Forgive Page 6 of 22 15 th April 2018
Because of this, not only was their relationship with God wrecked, but the relationship with themselves and all humanity was affected as well. As a result, we re all born sinners, and we choose to sin. The Bible goes onto tell us that there s a penalty for sin, it says that the wages of sin is death, there s consequences eternal punishment for sin. Often, we compare ourselves to others and think we re traveling ok. But compared to a Holy God, the one we do owe a debt to we fall short, without a hope to repay the debt, without a hope to fix the things through our own effort. Much like the guy in the parable there s no hope, but for the kindness of the king. Fortunately for us God is kind, compassionate and merciful. It says in Ephesians 2 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ by grace you have been saved Ephesians 2:4-5. As we sometimes sing here: Everyone needs compassion A love that's never failing Let mercy fall on me Everyone needs forgiveness The kindness of a Saviour The hope of Nations. This forgiveness is a gift that He is offering to all, but it s only accessed through faith in Jesus Christ. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. But there is a cost to this forgiveness. In the parable, who bears the cost of the forgiveness? It s the king isn t it? And so it is with the forgiveness that s offered to us by God, He s the one who carries the cost. It cost the death of God s Son, Jesus Christ, He bore our sins in His own body for us. [1 Peter 2:24] The Forgiven Forgive Page 7 of 22 15 th April 2018
In him [Jesus Christ] we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God s grace. Ephesians 1:7 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation [The atoning sacrifice] for our sins. 1 John 4:10. I m not sure where you are today regarding God. Do you have forgiveness of your sins? Not sure if you re aware of the weight of sin in your life, maybe you are. Possibly you re acutely aware of your sin and failings. If we averaged how 100 sins we do a day, how long do you think it would take to rack up 60 Million sins? Some of you are thinking that s conservative, it wouldn t take me long at all! The lustful thoughts, the envy and jealousy of others and other people s possessions. Maybe it s things you ve done that your ashamed of, or things you ve said that you wish you hadn t. As great as the sin and disobedience to God is in our lives, there s no limit to the forgiveness that God offers. But it is conditional. For us to gain the forgiveness of our sin is conditional on us turning in repentance from our sin to God, and trusting in Jesus Christ [Acts 20:21b] It s interesting to note that the guy in the parable asks the king for patience, for more time to repay the debt. But the king gives more than is asked. Out of mercy the servant is released not only from slavery, but also from debt. The servant is released as if he had no debt owing. This is the blessing of all who are forgiven through dependence in Jesus death for sin. We are declared justified as if we ve not sinned. The Forgiven Forgive Page 8 of 22 15 th April 2018
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 5:1 From being justified, declared not guilty, we re brought into peace with God we re reconciled to God though Jesus Christ. This is a huge step from those who think that the debt of sin that they have is simply too great to get forgiveness. The good news is that the grace of God is greater than our greatest sin. The ability of our God to forgive is greater than our greatest sin. You can have forgiveness even today, by turning in faith, in trust, in dependence to Jesus, and His sacrifice for sin. We can have forgiveness from the judgement, from the punishment due because of our sin. The forgiveness we receive from God is the complete pardon of any offense committed by us against Him and through this forgiveness we ve been reconciled to Him. There s two aspects of divine forgiveness The judicial forgiveness of our sin deals with our sin s penalty. It s the Judicial forgiveness frees us from the eternal judgement, from condemnation as there s no condemnation for those who are in Christ [Romans 8:1]. The second is the Parental forgiveness God grants as our Father. This deals with the ongoing consequences of sin that the believer has in this life [Hebrews 12:5-11], enabling us to come to God daily in repentance and confession [1 John 1:8-9]. It s through God s forgiveness to us through Christ, it s through gratitude in our hearts knowing that the massive debt of our sin against a Holy God has been pardoned, that we get the radical power to forgive. It s this that Jesus is seeking to tell His disciples and us, that forgiveness is what should mark us disciples of Jesus Christ. The Forgiven Forgive Page 9 of 22 15 th April 2018
The Radical Mark of the Forgiven Our Forgiveness. Returning to the parable in Matthew 18. We left the story half way. For the servant who d been forgiven, how did he react? The servant, well he turns out to be a bit of a weasel Reading with me from verse 28. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, Pay what you owe. 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, Have patience with me, and I will pay you. 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. 31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you? 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart. This servant, the weasel, who d been forgiven, goes out debt free, but finds someone who owes him a sum of money. Now it s not as if this is something insignificant, like a couple of bucks like you owe me a coffee. This is equivalent to 3 months wages, for us it d be several grand then. The forgiven servant then starts to choke the life out of the guy, and has him thrown into prison, despite the pleas for mercy. Note that the plea was the same that the forgiven guy pleaded before the king, you can see that at the end of verse 29 Have patience with me, and I will pay you. The Forgiven Forgive Page 10 of 22 15 th April 2018
But unlike the king, the weasel guy has no mercy. Even though the guy who owed the 100 clams had a real chance of actually paying back the debt, unlike captain weasel. And as we read, the report of this got back to the king, who then punished the weasel servant for his lack of forgiveness toward others. The actions and the words reveal the heart of the servant. You would ve thought there would ve been some gratefulness considering the great debt that he was forgiven of. In comparison what was owed him was so little. A hundred days of debt compared to 60 Million days of debt. It s laughable. We might shake our heads at this, but first let s look at our own lives. Do you, do I, have weasel like tendencies? A tendency to not forgive? Now we might look at some situations and say no, no problem here. But are there times, or situations where this is difficult? It might be over money, it might be over what people have said or done to us. Not sure about you, but I have to say there s been times when I have! [DP] The Forgiven Forgive Page 11 of 22 15 th April 2018
When I was a younger bloke, well let s be frank, a MUCH younger bloke It was around 1985. I was in my third year of an apprenticeship as an electrician. I was working with another guy, who I found really hard to work with. He always seemed to be yelling at me telling me that I was an idiot or words to that effect, even though I did precisely what he asked. No-one else would work with him. At lunch or at morning tea, he d go off and sit by himself, not wanting to mix with the other trades that were there. He did this because he thought all the other blokes and trades were worthless and idiots as well. There was conflict. How was I going to go about dealing with this? I found it hard to turn up to work when this is going on, and it s not like I could go off and work somewhere else either. I had to work with this guy. Initially I tried to go back at him, not a good move, it didn t make things easier at all. I even tried to point out that I did do exactly what he wanted, even if I saw it wasn t right, but that didn t work either. I tell you, my prayer life flourished during that time as I realised I couldn t do this in my own strength. Initially I was bitter about being treated that way. But then I tried to press on in the circumstance trying to show the love of God by action and deeds, by just doing and enduring. Forgiveness in some circumstances can be hard, it can be really hard. But Jesus is teaching us that those who profess to follow Jesus must then have this quality of forgiveness toward others. The reality is, whatever someone has done to offend us always pales into insignificance in comparison to what we ve done to offend God. It is much like the 100 days of debt versus the 60 Million days of debt. The Forgiven Forgive Page 12 of 22 15 th April 2018
How then do Christians forgive, what steps do I need to do, what happens if I find it really hard to forgive? How Christians are to Forgive. Firstly, be humble and Remember. We re sinners we need to examine our own hearts carefully. We need to remember that we re all sinners, we ve offended a Holy God, and it s only by His Grace, His provision through Christ that we re forgiven. Forgiveness must be possessed before it can be expressed. When we ve got a real appreciation of what we ve been forgiven of, then we ll be able to forgive others. Secondly, As Children of our great God and King, forgiveness is to be part of our DNA, part of our nature. Just as you know a duck is a duck because it quacks, so the mark of a Christian is to be forgiveness. We re to have an attitude of readiness to forgive, we re to be generously forgiving, like our heavenly father. The Forgiven Forgive Page 13 of 22 15 th April 2018
Therefore, as God s chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive. Colossians 3:12-13 NIV Thirdly, what circumstances do I let offences go, and in what circumstances do I speak to people? Does every offence have to be confronted, or do you let everything go? This is where things get harder, where the rubber meets the road in forgiveness. [DP] Where most of Christian living happens is in unconditional forgiveness. Related to this is Unilateral forgiveness forgiveness from your heart with-in yourself. This deals with the majority of minor offences, where we choose to overlook an offence against us. 1 Peter 4:8b says love covers a multitude of sins. Ephesians 4:2 tells us to bear with one another in love. Proverbs 19:11 says it is to one s glory to overlook an offense. This can happen when your praying, Mark 11:25 says, The Forgiven Forgive Page 14 of 22 15 th April 2018
And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. Mark 11:25. This unconditional forgiveness is a choice, it s a decision. It s not a feeling or involuntary response. There s no transaction, no seeking of forgiveness, no formal granting of pardon, no words said. It s a decision to forgive from the heart, as taught in today s parable. It s a choice to set aside the other person s offence, and not to cause it to break the relationship or create bitterness. It s the practical outcome of bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive. [Colossians 3:13] [DP] This can happen at any time, your standing there waiting to brush your teeth and your dearly beloved squeezes the tooth paste tube from the top. again Or your brothers in Christ make yet another quip about QLD winning State of Origin again Even if it s for the seventh time that day! However, it maybe that someone has spoken to you harshly or possibly ignored you as you walked into church. Whenever possible, particularly if the offence is petty or unintentional, it s best to forgive unilaterally. The Forgiven Forgive Page 15 of 22 15 th April 2018
What happens if it s not, or if you re not sure? How do you go about deciding if I just overlook it? Well that depends it does come down to discernment, a wisdom question. Some questions to consider in this, before continuing ask: 1. Have I checked my own heart first? Often with any conflict or any dispute there are faults on BOTH sides. [Matthew 7:3-5.] We need to check our own motives [Proverbs 16:2] 2. How Sure am I that I m right? Even if genuinely offended, right & wrong may not be always clear, if it s not clear, it s usually best to drop the matter Love covers a multitude of sins 1 Peter 4:8. If its someone that you have regular contact with and there is an underlying sin issue, it will come up again, so talk about it at that time. If you think that your always right, you may have a pride issue. 3. How important is this? It it s something like the order of knives forks and spoons in the cutlery draw, it really isn t an important issue to fight over. If you think everything IS important, maybe your too sensitive. 4. Is this a pattern of Behaviour? If it s out of character, if there s other issues perhaps you need to let the matter go. But if it s a regular pattern, like if they re ALWAYS late, there s possibly a level of selfishness, however a time Nazi can be upset each time someone arrives late. 5. What input does wise people have? Don t use this to gossip to other. Speak to elder, pastor, HG shepherd, Grace group leader. Ask them to see if they consider it worthwhile on pursing 6. What s going on in the other person s life? Sometimes there s issues happening that you re not aware of causing pressures that can in turn affect behaviour. The Forgiven Forgive Page 16 of 22 15 th April 2018
If you decide to drop it don t go on a speaking circuit about it with others don t say another word about it. If someone else comes to you saying how badly they ve been treated by that person, don t pour fuel onto the fire by launching into your experience. [DP] What about those who have offended us? After going through the check list that I ve just mentioned. Then carefully keeping the words of Ephesians 4:32 in mind, in kindness and compassion Rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, 4 and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, I repent, you must forgive him. Luke 17:3-4. If someone one comes to you to point out a fault, it s not easy is it? We need to be humble and gracious, knowing that we re all sinners. We need to use the check list on our hearts too. We need to respond as one of God s chosen ones in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience [Colossians 3:12-13]. The Forgiven Forgive Page 17 of 22 15 th April 2018
[DP] What do you do if you ve upset someone by something you ve said and done? Seek to be reconciled as soon as you can. Matthew 5 says So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23-24. This s what needs to happen if you know you ve been in conflict with someone and have been part of the cause of upset, particularly if you know you ve been wrong.. This is what should happen at times with family members and friends. [DP] I know I ve had to do this as a dad, and husband, and even at times with friends. Sometimes parents, dads can be harsh. We can make judgements on our kids without all the facts Sometimes we can say things that aren t loving or kind. Even to our spouse or our kids. When this happens, we need to ask forgiveness of what we ve done from our spouse, but also from our kids. The Forgiven Forgive Page 18 of 22 15 th April 2018
When we do, particularly with our kids, don t give an excuse or attempt to justify your actions. This can be: I m sorry I was angry with you, I was angry because you did This can happen even between friends. So if you know you ve said hurtful words or actions have been done, seek to be reconciled as soon as possible. With forgiveness, reconciliation is the goal. Just as our relationship with God is restored by the forgiveness of our sins through faith in Christ So, through forgiveness of offences relationships are restored, reconciliation is gained, there s peace. If there was more forgiveness practiced in families in relationships, there d be more peace in families, there d be more peace with all people. It takes two people to have a fight, but for Christian forgiveness to happen it takes just one person. Forgiveness is and event AND a process. When you forgive someone, it is a decision to pardon them that s the event. The ongoing part of forgiveness is this; You don t keep it to bring up to use it against them at some stage in the future. You don t keep it to bring it up with others. You don t keep it to bring it up and dwell on it yourself, causing bitterness. Not sure if you have one of these in your Family tree. There s a relation that seems to have an incredible memory. And when there s been an issue to sort out, EVERYTHING come out. Sometimes from years ago, events that some had thought to have been dealt with long ago. It seems at time some sort of evidence file is created to record and tally all the wrongs. We can all be like this at times. We need to The Forgiven Forgive Page 19 of 22 15 th April 2018
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Ephesians 4:31. NIV We need a fresh vision of what Christ has done, and to rejoice in that. For those who find it hard to forgive, we need to look back at the cross, we need to remember the parable. We need to remember the huge debt that we ve been forgiven of, from this we ll get the radical power to forgive. Nancy Leigh DeMoss in her book Choosing Forgiveness includes this testimony from a wife: I was trembling all over and almost numb with pain. I could only think of Christ on the cross and how He asked His Father to forgive those who were killing Him. I chose to forgive my husband that night, even though he had NOT asked me for it. I could never work up forgiveness like that! I am weak and sinful, and I realized during those tough times that God was pouring His grace out on me to give me the ability to forgive.... Something amazing happened The Forgiven Forgive Page 20 of 22 15 th April 2018
in my life as I continued to forgive my husband. God gave me such freedom and joy in the midst of the pain I was experiencing. Somehow God let me see the whole forgiving-experience, not as something to despise, but as a gift to embrace. There s no way, humanly speaking, to explain it. Obviously, there s some things I couldn t get to today. If you do have further questions, please don t hesitate to speak with me or email me. This is a tough area for many. I d like to leave us with this quote: The Gospel is a message of forgiveness: it could not be otherwise, because it is the Gospel of God, and God is a forgiving God It is to be expected, then, that those who receive the forgiveness which God holds out in the Gospel, those who call Him their Father, will display something of His character and show a forgiving attitude toward others. FF Bruce. Forgiving others and asking for forgiveness are supernatural works of Grace. Genuine forgiveness happens when God s forgiveness captivates our hearts. This celebration of God s grace must happen daily. Let s Pray. The Forgiven Forgive Page 21 of 22 15 th April 2018
The Forgiven Forgive. [Matthew 18:21-35 15th April 2018] Main Point: Christians are to graciously forgive as we ve been forgiven by God. Please pick a few relevant questions from each section and ensure that most of the time is focussed on application. General Questions: 1. What things were happening in Matthew Chapter 18 and how do they relate to the passage on forgiveness [vv21-35]? 2. It you were rewriting the parable Jesus told for an Australian audience today in 2018, how would you do it? What characters would you use and what comparisons would you draw? 3. What is the difference between Judicial and Parental forgiveness, and what roles do they play in our lives as Christians? 4. Why is the forgiveness of God central to us forgiving? Application Questions: 1. What things can we do that will keep the forgiveness of God central to our thinking? 2. How does humility play a central part in forgiveness? [Both in asking and granting forgiveness] 3. What s the difference between a minor offence and a major offence? When would an unconditional, unilateral forgiveness work? When would it not? 4. Discuss how to approach in a biblical way the following scenarios: [Use the situation questions to step through each situation] A. Someone has spoken harshly to you for being late to an appointment. B. You have walked into church for a wedding and your best friend ignores you. [There may other scenarios that you may wish to consider] Situations Questions 1. Have I checked my own heart first? [Am I at fault here? What s my motive?] 2. How sure am I that I m right? [Is this a clear right/wrong? Am I always right?] 3. How important is this? [Is it that important? Am I too sensitive?] 4. Is this a pattern of behaviour? [Is it out of character? Is it a regular pattern?] 5. What input does wise people have? [ What does a mature Christian think about it?] 6. What s going on in the other person s life? [Are there other issues happening in the life of the other person?] 5. When you approach someone about an issue, what would be good to remember? 6. When someone approaches you about an issue, what would be good to remember? 7. Forgiveness is an event and a process. What s the difference and how does that work in our lives? 8. Are there any forgiveness issues that you have that needs to be expressed to friends or family? Consider the Situation Questions above and pray about what step to take next. The Forgiven Forgive Page 22 of 22 15 th April 2018