BEIN HAMETZARIM Rabbi Shlomo Francis The three weeks of mourning beginning on Shiva Assar B Tamuz and concluding on Tisha B Av is the time period known as Bein Hametzarim. It is during these weeks that the Romans laid siege on Yerushalayim and ultimately destroyed the Bais Hamikdash on Tisha B Av. As the day of Tisha B Av approaches, the laws of mourning intensify. Accordingly, Bein Hametzarim is divided into three phases: 1) Shiva Assar B Tamuz until Rosh Chodesh Av 2) Rosh Chodesh Av until Shabbos Chazon (the Shabbos before Tisha B Av) 3) Shavua she chal bo the week of Tisha B Av Most of the restrictions that apply during Bein Hametzarim are based on minhagim that have developed over the years. According to the Gemara, no restrictions apply before Rosh Chodesh Av, and there are only two levels of mourning. Accordingly, beginning on Rosh Chodesh Av, one must abstain from acts of Simcha (e.g. making a wedding). The week of Tisha B Av is considered a time of actual mourning. The Chachamim therefore implemented restrictions similar to those that apply to an avel one mourning for a deceased relative. Accordingly, it is forbidden to wash ones clothes, take a haircut or bathe during this week. Our custom, based on the Shulchan Aruch, Rama, and later achronim, is to begin refraining from certain acts of simcha beginning on Shiva Assar B Tamuz. Therefore we do not make weddings, dance, or listen to music. We observe the laws of aveilus mourning beginning on Rosh Chodesh Av. Therefore one may not eat meat, drink wine, wash ones clothes, or bathe from that day forward. (See M.B. 551:40 which discusses that these activities were not prohibited for the entire duration of the three weeks, since that would be too difficult for most people. Not taking a haircut during this period is less difficult and is therefore prohibited) LISTENING TO MUSIC: Our minhag is to refrain from listening to music during the three weeks because it creates a festive atmosphere and results in simcha. Often, people listen to music for reasons other than simcha, such as to stay awake while driving or to remain focused while performing a prolonged monotonous activity. Additionally, many recorded children s stories contain songs and music that are secondary to the story. In all of these situations, one is listening to a kli shir (musical instrument). However, the festive atmosphere usually created through music is lacking. Is one allowed to listen to music in such situations?
The answer to these questions and many other fundamental musicrelated questions, depend on how one understands the prohibition of kli shir. Hagaon R Shlomo Zalman Aurbach and Hagaon R Moshe Feinstein differ in their understanding of this issur, and therefore differ in their opinions of many practical halachic applications in these areas. The Magen Avrohom (551:10) writes, it appears to me that it is forbidden to dance from Shiva Assar B Tamuz and onwards. The Aruch Hashulchan (493:2) and Shu t Minchas Yitzchak write that listening to music results in a feeling of simcha even greater than that of dancing and is therefore included in the prohibition of dancing. Since the prohibition of music is derived from the prohibition of dancing according to Hagaon R Shlomo Zalman Aurbach and other poskim, music is only forbidden where the nature of the music can bring one to feelings of simcha (festive rejoicing). Therefore, listening to recorded music while driving or performing prolonged monotonous labor is permitted. Recorded children s stories that are primarily stories but also contain a few songs with music are also permitted (Mikdash Yisroel 22). Listening to stories even with the accompaniment of a few songs does not bring one to the type of simcha that is prohibited during this period. Children s tapes that are comprised primarily of songs are prohibited for children who are old enough to mourn the loss of the Bais Hamikdash (Mikdash Yisroel ibid). The sefer Mikdash Yisroel writes that it is permitted to listen to recordings of Chazanus even with musical accompaniment. In this case also, the pleasure or enjoyment one derives from such music is not the type of simcha (festive rejoicing) that is prohibited. Because the prohibition of listening to music is actually due to the resulting simcha, Hagaon R Shlomo Zalman Aurbach prohibits singing lively songs even without musical accompaniment, as this too can lead to strong feelings of simcha. Others permit singing any type of songs without musical accompaniment, as presumably this would not result in simcha equal to the simcha of actual music. Hagaon R Moshe Feinstein writes that one may listen to someone singing any type of song. Music, however, is prohibited, both live and recorded. In his tshuva, R Moshe seems to ignore the effect of music and whether there is simcha that results from listening to the song or hearing music. When I mentioned this observation to Hagaon R Dovid Feinstein, he responded that indeed his father did not differentiate between the level of simcha derived from the various types of music. Although the purpose of this minhag may have been to minimize the feeling of simcha during the three weeks, the minhag nevertheless addresses all types of music, even where the nature of the music does not result in simcha. According to this understanding, listening to a children s recorded story with
secondary songs and music is prohibited for a child who has reached the age of chinuch (as heard by the author from Harav D Feinstein). Music is prohibited in all situations, and therefore, according to R Moshe, one may not listen to music while performing prolonged monotonous labor. If one feels fatigued while driving he should take a break or perform other activities to alleviate his fatigue. However, the driver may not resort to listening to music unless there is no other way to avoid a dangerous situation (Hagoan R Dovid Feinstein). Listening to songs without musical accompaniment is not included in this minhag. Such songs would therefore be permitted, even if the songs bring about great simcha. Nevertheless, it is against the spirit of the law to engage in any activity that results in excessive simcha. The sefer Mikdash Yisroel suggest that a microphone used to amplify a song may have the status of a kli shir (an instrument for producing song), and should therefore not be used to amplify songs to a level beyond ones natural capacity. A CAPPELLA: As discussed earlier, Hagaon R Shlomo Zalman Aurbach and other poskim understand the prohibition of music as being a catalyst to simcha. According to this view, a cappella music is no different than genuine music as they both result in simcha and therefore forbidden (Hagaon R Shlomo Miller). According to Hagoan R Moshe Feinstein, however, only music produced by a kli shir (musical instrument) is included in this minhag. A cappella is not accompanied by instruments and may therefore be permitted. With this in mind, it is wrong to create and/or listen to tapes specifically designed to help people avoid mourning the destruction of the Bais Hamikdash as it skirts the spirit of the prohibition against simcha during Bein Hametzarim. Listening to a cappella music for a reason other than enjoyment e.g. in order to keep awake while driving, is permitted according to all opinions. ENTERING A STORE WHERE MUSIC IS PLAYING Listening to music is only prohibited where one intends to listen to music. One may enter a store to shop even if music is playing. However, one should not intentionally focus on the music being played. One listening to the radio is not required to turn it off to avoid a commercial with some musical accompaniment. CHILDREN One is required to be mechanech (train) children in the performance of mitzvos. The requirement of chinuch begins when the child is mature enough to perform that mitzvah. For example, the Magen Avrohom writes that a child must hear Kiddush when he can comprehend the concept of Shabbos. Similarly, a child old enough to comprehend the loss of the Bais Hamikdash (age 7 or 8 depending on the child s comprehension) may not listen to
music during the three weeks (Chinuch Yisroel 1:14:25 ). One may, however, turn on a tape for a younger child. In such a case, it is preferable to turn on recorded music designed for children such that it will not bring simcha to the adults who are present (see Eishel Avrohom Buchatch end 552). If this is not possible and the child cannot be soothed or entertained in any other way, one may play adult-oriented recorded music. In such a case, adults should try to avoid listening or deriving pleasure from the music. During the nine days, however, the atmosphere of mourning requires that even children who are too young to comprehend the churban practice aveilus. During this period, music is forbidden for children of all ages. (Mikdash Yisroel 21) WEDDINGS AND OTHER PARTIES Weddings are prohibited during the three weeks, even if no meal will be served. Other seudas Mitzvah such as a siyum, bar mitzvah, sheva brachos, or vort are permitted. One should consult a halachic authority regarding banquets, parlor meetings, or goodbye parties during the three weeks. Dancing, and according to some poskim, singing may be prohibited even at a seudas mitzvah. A rav should be consulted on how to conduct any type of simcha. HAIRCUTTING AND SHAVING An aveil mourner, may not take a haircut or shave, and similarly during the three weeks it is prohibited. Most of the laws of aveilus such as bathing and refraining from eating meat are permitted until the nine days, because of the difficulty involved in refraining from these activities for an extended period of time. Haircutting, however, is not necessary on a constant basis and is therefore prohibited during the entire three weeks (M.B. 551). When everyone, including young children, refrain from haircutting, the feeling of mourning is intensified among Klal Yisroel. It is therefore forbidden for even very young children to get a haircut. However, in case of a great necessity one may cut a child s hair until the week of Tisha B Av. The Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 310:5) allows a woman who is in aveilus (in this case, actual mourning for a death) to cut her hair. The practical halacha, however, follows the opinion of the Ramah who forbids women from cutting their hair while in aveilus for a deceased relative. Since the aveilus during the three weeks is more lenient than the aveilus one observes for a relative, and the Igros Moshe rules that in case of great necessity a woman may be lenient and cut her hair during the three weeks. Rabbi Felder explains that the premise for the Shulchan Aruch to permit a woman to take a haircut during this period is to prevent her from appearing unkempt before her husband. He therefore reasons that removing body hairs that are more bothersome than hair on the head may be permitted, even according to
the Ramah. Accordingly, Hagaon R Moshe Feinstein and Hagaon R Elyashiv permit married women as well as girls of marriageable age to shave their legs when necessary. Plucking a few hairs (e.g. from around the eyebrows) is not considered Taspores haircutting and is therefore permitted (Hagaon R Shlomo Miller and Halichos Shlomo). Cutting ones nails is also permitted. The halachos of the nine days are more stringent and therefore the above guidelines should not be applied during the nine days. SHAVING TO PREVENT A LOSS: Hagaon R Moshe Feinstein writes that one may shave if he may loose his job or incur a financial loss as a result of appearing unkempt. However, he may not shave simply to avoid embarrassment. During the week of Tisha B Av, the prohibition of shaving is more severe. One should consult a halachic authority regarding shaving during this week. Many restrictions of aveilus (e.g. bathing or cutting ones nails during the nine days) are permitted in honor of Shabbos. It should follow that cutting ones hair for Shabbos should be permitted as well. The Magen Avrohom writes, however, that because haircutting is not performed on a constant basis and therefore it was unnecessary to permit shaving and haircutting on erev Shabbos. The Even Yisroel (7:27) points out that those who shave regularly would be allowed to do so on Erev Shabbos. The minhag, however, is to refrain from shaving on erev Shabbos, even if one shaves regularly. Hagaon R Shmuel Kamenetzky ruled that there is a basis to permit shaving likovod Shabbos. He therefore instructed someone who had to shave for a business meeting, to schedule the meeting for erev Shabbos and to shave likavod Shabbos as well. SHEHECHIYANU: During the three weeks (until Rosh Chodesh) one must avoid reciting the brocha of shehechiyanu (e.g. one should not eat a new fruit or buy a new suit that would require a shehechiyanu). In the bracha of shehechiyanu we thank Hashem who has allowed us to reach this time. Saying this during Bein Hametzarim is not appropriate, as it may sound as though we are giving thanks for reaching a time of tragedy and mourning. The Arizal (quoted in M.A. 551:42) ruled that shehechiyanu should not be recited during this time, even on Shabbos. However the Gr A, permits one to recite shehechiyanu during the three weeks, even on weekdays. The Mishna Berura therefore concludes that the minhag is to avoid shehechiyanu during the three weeks but to permit its recital on Shabbos. One occasion when shehechiyanu is recited is upon eating a seasonal fruit for the first time that season. Nowadays, most seasonal fruits are available year round due to refrigeration and importing. Some poskim question whether one can make shehechiyanu on seasonal fruits if they are
available in local stores year round. (Igr m O.Ch. 34 Vizos Habracha 18 see also Halichos Shlomo Tefillah 23:n 31). One should consult a rav regarding which fruits require a shehechianu. One who obtains a new fruit that requires a shehechiyanu during the three weeks should put it aside until Shabbos when a shehechiyanu may be recited. A shehechiyanu on clothing is only recited if the garment is of significant value and one feels enjoyment upon acquiring it. Nowadays, because most people buy clothing more frequently than in earlier times, we do not feel the same degree of pleasure when obtaining new clothes as people used to. Consequently, shehechiyanu is not recited on most garments (e.g. undergarments, shoes, pants, or shirts). Some people do not feel a significant amount of simcha even when purchasing a new suit, and therefore do not recite shehechiyanu then earlier. When one is unsure as to whether a particular garment warrants a shehachiyanu, he should follow the principals of Safek Brochos Lihakel (when in doubt one does not recite a brocha) and not make a brocha. The bracha of shehechiyanu is a reshus-an optional brocha, and it should certainly be avoided in case of any doubts. The bracha of shehechiyanu should be recited immediately upon acquiring the garment. If, however, the garment can not be worn without alterations the bracha should be recited upon wearing the garment for the first time. During the three weeks (excluding the nine days) one may purchase and wear any garment that does not require a shehechiyanu. Even an expensive garment that requires a shehechiyanu may be worn for the first time provided that the bracha was recited before the three weeks (e.g. the garment did not require alterations and therefore the shehechiyanu was recited at the time of purchase). If shehechiyanu was not yet recited, the garment should be worn for the first time on Shabbos when shehechiyanu may be recited. SHOPPING: One may purchase household items and other possessions during the three weeks (until Rosh Chodesh) even if doing so will result in simcha. The purchase of an expensive item that results in a great simcha, such as a car, requires a shehechiyanu. Hagaon R Moshe Feinstein therefore rules that if only the buyer will benefit from the item, a shehechiyanu is recited, and the item should not be purchased. In case of great necessity, one should consult a rav. However, when other people, such as the wife or family of the buyer will also benefit from the purchase, the bracha of hatov v hamativ replaces the bracha of shehechiyanu. Hatov v hamativ may be recited during the three weeks, and hence the item may be purchased.