RESOLVING CONFLICTS BETWEEN EMPLOYEES

Developing great leaders...by design not by chance RESOLVING CONFLICTS BETWEEN EMPLOYEES SUPERVISION LESSON #7 Given the strong opinions and personalities that exist in our diverse, dynamic, and sometimes pressure-filled workplaces, conflict between employees is inevitable. Properly managed, it can even be productive and generate worthwhile results. Left unresolved, however, it can produce a host of undesirable side effects, such as wasted energy, ill will between employees, erosion of team and firm unity, and damaged firm culture. Helping employees resolve significant differences is something few leaders look forward to doing, and most do it at a mediocre level. However, with an understanding of key principles and essential steps, leaders can improve their conflict resolution skills and help the firm avoid the damaging effects of contention in the workplace. NOTE: AGN MEMBERS MUST PURCHASE THIS LESSON FROM UPSTREAM ACADEMY AT THE SPECIAL AGN PRICE BEFORE USING INTERNALLY COPYRIGHT 2007, UPSTREAM ACADEMY

RESOLVING CONFLICTS BETWEEN EMPLOYEES SUPERVISION LESSON #7 Whenever you re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude. Timothy Bentley Don t be afraid of opposition. Remember, a kite rises against, not with, the wind. Hamilton Mabie Can you settle a bet, Wellman? Herb says 53% of all statistics are meaningless and I say it s 56%. In the frank expression of conflicting opinions lies the greatest promise of wisdom. Louis D. Brandeis 2 LEADERSkills INSTITUTE

R obert Townsend has observed, A good manager doesn t try to eliminate conflict; he tries to keep it from wasting the energies of his people. Few things sap employees energy more quickly or completely than unresolved conflict, and as leaders we have a key role to play in preventing that from happening. Given the strong opinions and personalities that exist in our diverse, dynamic, and sometimes pressure-filled workplaces, conflict between employees is inevitable. Properly managed, it can even be productive and generate worthwhile results. Left unresolved, however, it can produce a host of undesirable side effects, such as wasted energy, ill will between employees, erosion of team and firm unity, and damaged firm culture. Helping employees resolve significant differences is something few leaders look forward to doing, and most do it at a mediocre level. However, with an understanding of key principles and essential steps, leaders can improve their conflict resolution skills and help the firm avoid the damaging effects of contention in the workplace. When faced with feuding employees, many leaders apply the strategy of hope, believing that a subtle hint here or a discreet suggestion there will, along with a lot of optimism, somehow fix the problem. Others Given the strong opinions and personalities that exist in our diverse, dynamic, and sometimes pressure-filled workplaces, conflict between employees is inevitable. take just the opposite approach, believing that strong direction to two upset employees to resolve their differences right now (or else!) will somehow produce the desired effect. Neither method is particularly effective and can actually exacerbate rather than solve the problem. There is a better way. Let s listen in now as Jack, an audit partner for Strike Hook and Land, finds himself in the middle of a dispute between two of his best employees and audit managers, Kathy and Tom. UPSTREAM SNAPSHOT The day had not started well for Kathy. How do pets always know the worst possible day to get sick? she had wondered aloud as she made a quick phone call, followed by a not-so-quick trip to the vet that morning. As it turned out, her prized retriever was experiencing nothing more serious than a reaction to his new dog food, but it had been enough to throw Kathy s morning into chaos. Unfortunately, the change in morning routine had also placed her in front of Tom s slightly ajar office door at exactly the wrong moment. She hadn t overheard more than ten seconds of his conversation with Laurie, but that had been quite enough. Now as she stood in Jack s office, the door closed, staring intently into his somewhat startled-looking face, she could once again feel the anger rising within her. It s either him or me, Jack, she said simply. I don t think we re talking about the tooth fairy here, are we? Jack said, trying unsuc- The signs of outstanding leadership appear primarily among the followers. Are the followers reaching their potential? Are they learning? Serving? Do they achieve the required results? Do they change with grace? Manage conflict? Max De Pree Resolving Conflicts Between Employees 3

cessfully to lighten the mood a bit. So what s going on, Kathy? NOTES: You can t shake hands with a clenched fist. Indira Gandhi It s Tom, she replied. I ve had it I ve reached my limit. I know you two have had your differences in the past, he began, but the one of us has to go solution sounds awfully severe. Will you please tell me what happened to make you so angry? Sure, Kathy responded. It s called undermining and showing no respect for a fellow manager and team member. I had the misfortune to walk past Tom s office a little while ago. It was obvious he was counseling Laurie on some audit review points I had written, and as I walked past his door I heard him tell Laurie that I have and I quote a well-earned reputation for killing budgets because I and again I quote can t resist over-auditing. Kathy noted the look of surprise in Jack s eyes and continued. Yeah, that was my reaction, too, she said. Jack, you and I both know there s no truth to what Tom told Laurie. If this was the only time this type of thing had happened, I guess I might be inclined to ignore it. But it isn t. It s just the first time I ve heard it with my own ears. Several others have come to me privately in the past and told me about his negative comments. I suppose I just didn t want to believe them. Well, now I believe them. The room was silent for a moment as each pondered what to say next. Kathy spoke first. So Jack, I ve had it. Either Tom goes or I go, she said. Which is it going to be? 4 LEADERSkills INSTITUTE

SNAPSHOT DISCUSSION What thoughts entered your mind as you read the scenario? Change means movement. Movement means friction. Only in the frictionless vacuum of a nonexistent abstract world can movement or change occur without that abrasive friction of conflict. Saul Alinsky The conflict between Kathy and Tom obviously did not begin with the most recent incident. What are some possible root causes of that conflict? How should the fact that this is not the first time these two individuals have experienced difficulties in their working relationship affect Jack s approach to helping them resolve their conflict? How should Jack respond to Kathy s declaration, Either Tom goes or I go. Which is it going to be? Resolving Conflicts Between Employees 5

UPSTREAM INSIGHTS NOTES: Whenever two good people argue over principles, they are both right. Marie Ebner von Eschenbach RESOLVING CONFLICTS BETWEEN EMPLOYEES Presented by SAM M. ALLRED, CPA FOUNDER, UPSTREAM ACADEMY As much as we might wish otherwise, conflict is a normal part of work life. Appropriately managed, it can be both healthy and productive. Where all think alike, no one thinks very much. Walter Lippmann However, left unresolved and allowed to fester, conflict in the workplace can produce many problems: angry exchanges between employees wasted energy and lost productivity division into camps murmuring, suspicion, questioning of motives poor communication veiled attempts to undermine or harm diminished cooperation WHERE DOES CONFLICT BEGIN? Honest disagreement Personality differences Poor communication Differing value systems and perspectives Change Weak leadership Lack of accountability Feeling of being powerless Differing styles (management, decisionmaking, etc.) 6 LEADERSkills INSTITUTE

NOTES: Although often highly visible, conflict between employees can also be subtle. Here are some danger signs to watch for: uncomfortable or aggressive body language withholding information barbed comments in the presence of others gamesmanship significant attitude changes unusual absences Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means. Ronald Reagan Acknowledging others feelings and seeing their side can be difficult for some individuals. A solid process can be a powerful tool for accomplishing these important tasks and resolving conflicts. Remember, however, that there are times when one person is clearly at fault and simply needs correction. RESOLVING CONFLICTS: THE VITAL STEPS 1. Seek first to understand 2. Arrange a joint problem-solving meeting 3. Allow individuals to give their views 4. Get consensus on the problem 5. Require each person to recommend solutions 6. Obtain commitments 7. Set a follow-up meeting 8. Hold people accountable 1. SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND Understanding the issues and individuals involved is critical to resolving employee conflicts. Gaining this understanding requires good listening skills. Consider separate meetings with the individuals in conflict, discussions with those peripherally involved, and getting help from others with expert knowledge. Resolving Conflicts Between Employees 7

2. ARRANGE A JOINT PROBLEM-SOLVING MEETING NOTES: Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional. Max Lucado As you arrange a meeting of those involved, be sure to: let them know how their conflict is affecting performance set a proper meeting time and place clearly explain the purpose(s) of the meeting state your expectations for their behavior at the meeting 3. ALLOW INDIVIDUALS TO GIVE THEIR VIEWS Failure to allow people to state their case will only make the problem worse. Your role as a leader is to: be impartial, honest, and direct protect people from interrupting or blaming each other focus discussion on the problem ensure the parties are really listening to each other deal with emotional behavior 4. GET CONSENSUS ON THE PROBLEM It s pointless to look for solutions until those involved can agree on what the problem is. Summarize the different perspectives and ask for agreement. Better yet, have each person summarize the other s views and then get agreement. 5. REQUIRE EACH PERSON TO RECOMMEND SOLUTIONS Ask all parties to state what they need for the solution to work for them. Require each person to contribute ideas for solutions. As a leader, your job is to see that the solution not only solves the problem, but also meets everyone s needs to the greatest extent possible. 8 LEADERSkills INSTITUTE

NOTES: 6. OBTAIN COMMITMENTS Once the best solution has been identified, all parties must understand their specific responsibilities for implementing the solution. Have everyone clearly state what they are going to do, how they plan to do it, and when it will be done. Carefully record these commitments. 7. SET A FOLLOW-UP MEETING Have you learned the lessons only of those who admired you, and were tender with you, and stood aside for you? Have you not learned great lessons from those who braced themselves against you, and disputed passage with you? Walt Whitman Setting a follow-up date sends an unmistakable message that you expect results. Make sure the date is entered on calendars and avoid re-scheduling. 8. HOLD PEOPLE ACCOUNTABLE Without personal accountability, the entire conflict resolution process will be little more than an empty exercise. If people are not prepared to be held accountable for what they do, it is unlikely that they will achieve much. To choose a goal without being prepared to be accountable for progress towards it is to choose nothing. David H. Maister Conflict is the primary engine of creativity and innovation. People don t learn by staring into a mirror; people learn by encountering difference. Ronald Heifetz Resolving Conflicts Between Employees 9

Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict. William Ellery Channing UPSTREAM SNAPSHOT The PowerPoint presentation discusses the risks of allowing conflicts to go unresolved, identifies some of the root causes of conflict, and lists signs that may point to difficulties between employees. In addition, it teaches an eight-step process that can be used successfully to resolve many conflicts. At the conclusion of the before snapshot, Kathy presented Jack with an ultimatum: Either Tom goes or I go. Which is it going to be? The after snapshot below portrays Jack s response. Kathy, you ve always been a great team player, which I m sure must make Tom s actions all the more frustrating, Jack replied. But I think you ve got the question wrong. Isn t the issue really, How can we resolve this problem in a way that serves the best interests of the firm? Having attempted unsuccessfully to force Jack to side with her in the dispute with Tom, Kathy was momentarily taken aback by his question and unable to respond. When she did respond, it was with even greater fervor than before. But Jack! she protested. I told you what he said, and you know it s completely untrue. How can you let him get away with that? Nobody s talking about letting anyone get away with anything, he responded evenly. You simply posed the wrong question; I m telling you the right one. The conflict between you and Tom needs to be resolved, and the sooner the better. I m just trying to put the issue into the right context. Now, let me explain how I propose to bring both of you to the table to resolve this. Fifteen minutes later, a still upset but considerably less enflamed Kathy returned to her office and Jack headed down the hallway to meet with Tom. He closed the door behind him as he entered Tom s office. Oh-oh, this looks serious, Tom said, smiling as Jack took a seat opposite him. Actually, it is, Jack responded. I just had a lengthy visit with Kathy. I d like to share with you what she told me, and then we ll decide where we go from there. Jack then recounted his conversation with Kathy. Jack, I can t help it if Kathy was hanging around outside my door and heard something she wasn t supposed to hear Tom began. That s not the issue, Tom, and you know it, Jack interrupted. I don t think you believe Kathy was eavesdropping any more than I believe that. The real issue is that you violated our core value about teamwork in an atmosphere of mutual respect. When two players on any team have serious unresolved differences, everyone is negatively impacted, and the effects go far beyond the department to include clients and the entire firm. We need to settle this, and the best way I know to do that is to get the two of you together in the same room so we can pinpoint the problem, discuss solutions, and make the commitments necessary to end the conflict. In preparation for our meeting, I ve asked Kathy to write down what she believes to be the issues between the two of you, and I need you to do the same. So, let s meet at 2:00 tomorrow afternoon, in my office. 10 LEADERSkills INSTITUTE