The Quest for Authentic Manhood Module 1 Session 4 The All Alone Wound
The All Alone Wound I. Three Significant Relationships that bless and energize a Man s life A. The Side-by-side Friend. B. The Admiring Mentor. C. The Needy Protégé II. The All Alone Wound Defined A social, emotional and spiritual loss caused by the lack of healthy male comradeship that results in Loneliness and Discouragement Foolish behaviors and blind spots Short-sighted masculinity. III. Every man benefits from the company of other Men A. The Significant Downside to Isolation 1. Warped perspectives on life. 2. Loose living. 3. Loss of motivation for the noble things in life. Bartley Christian Church Page 1 of 7
4. Loss of opportunities for much needed transparency. B. What the Scripture has to say I. Proverbs 27.17 II. Proverbs 18:24 III. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 IV. Proverbs 17:17 V. Hebrews 10:24 VI. 1 Samuel 20:17 C. What You can do 1. Learn the 3 Keys to friendship I. Loyalty II. III. Faithfulness Encouragement 2. Reach out to other men 3. Challenge men you like to meet regularly with you to get better 4. Get real and share your heart. 5. Enjoy life together. IV. Exploring the Rich Concept called Mentoring Bartley Christian Church Page 2 of 7
A. From Dad to Whom? The Quest for Authentic Manhood 1. Dad can only take you so far. 2. Male mentors are specialists. B. Comments about a Mentor 1. He is one who supports rather than competes with you. 2. He is one who is primarily a cheerleader, not a critic. 3. He is one who seeks to encourage the development of your gifts while seeking to protect you from costly mistakes. 4. He is one who admires and delights in you because he instinctively recognizes your value and untapped potential. 5. He is not necessarily a close friend but he is a close confidant. C. What a Mentor brings to the table 1. Wisdom through experience. 2. Warnings 3. A belief in you 4. Cheers for your achievement Bartley Christian Church Page 3 of 7
5. In some instances. a proven hero. V. The Bible is filled with Mentors and Mentoring A. Some Examples I. Exodus 18: 14,17-19 II. 1 Thessalonians 2: 8,11-12 VI. Marks of a Good Mentor (Dr. Howard Hendricks, As Iron sharpens Iron, Moody Press, 1995) A. This man clearly has what you personally need. B. He chooses to cultivate a relationship with you. C. He is willing to take a chance on you. D. He is respected by other men. E. He has a network of resources. F. He is consulted by others. G. He both talks and listens. H. He is consistent in his lifestyle. Bartley Christian Church Page 4 of 7
I. He is able to diagnose your real need. J. He is concerned with your interests. II. The Impact of Mentoring A. For the Mentor 1. Closes the loop on a man s life cycle. 2. Connects older and younger men in a symbiotic relationship. 3. Allows a man to teach naturally from experience, which younger men desperately need and want. 4. Gives older men a significant purpose in the second half of life. 5. Adds a missing satisfaction to an older man s life. B. For the Protege 1. Hope 2. Wisdom 3. A bigger personal vision. 4. Encouragement. Bartley Christian Church Page 5 of 7
III. What to Do The Quest for Authentic Manhood A. If you want to be a Mentor 1. Make a list of your strengths and experiences you can bless a younger man s life with. This is most important. 2. Determine how much time you have to give. 3. Pray for and choose a young man (or men) you want to be with and reach out to him. 4. If you connect" initiate some regular time together until the protégé has what he needs. Then let him go. B. If you need but lack a Mentor 1. Pray for wisdom and guidance. 2. Go and ask courageously. 3. Don t get discouraged if you are turned down. 4. Get a group and ask an older man to mentor us" Bartley Christian Church Page 6 of 7
Questions for Small Group Discussion 1. What hinders you the most right now from strong male friendships? 2. What steps could you take right now to develop a real friend? 3. Who have been the mentors in your life? How did these mentors make a difference in your life? 4. Are these men around you that you would like to be mentored by in some ways? What keeps you from asking them to invest in you? Bartley Christian Church Page 7 of 7